Recommended: 10/10 changed my life, should be taught in schools.

Joking aside.... well, no, this is a joke.

That's literally what this is. A translated joke. Reading the entire thing will take 5 minutes, tops, and that's if you're, like, dyslexic and also can't speak English.

My actual methods of dealing with mosquitoes are sleeping with a fan and a blanket, having a racket zapper, putting B. thuringiensis toxin in areas of ponding water, and leaving spiders and spiderwebs all over my house.

F*ck mosquitoes.