I felt sad when LiWei realized his illness. But when they got together after so much hardships, I felt so happy for them. Everything was so sweet. Their experiences and trials was worth it.

As a psychology graduate, I have to say that this novel succeed in describing and explaining to the readers about the extent of a mental illness, and how it affects the bearer AND the people around them. Personally, I agree of Zhang Man's approach to Li Wei after she is reborn. Li Wei's problem is very complex and involves many layers of society, but the real problem was that he is too lonely. Here we can see how loneliness can break a person, especially if it is experienced by someone who already has innate problem like Li Wei's inherited mental illness.

If you say that Zhang Man barge into Li Wei's life without delicacy, then I assume you don't have real knowledge about how to treat a mentally ill person as an equal. And that's okay, not many people know how. But in this case, Zhang Man already understood Li Wei's nature, and even though she never knew how real his illness was, she certainly does not shy away from it even a little bit. She is very brave, and there is not even a moment where she hesitated to face Li Wei's problem. She does not brush it as a momentary gap in memory and thoughts, she accepts it as it is and try to fix the problem that she even consults a psychiatrist for his sake.

I am still at chapter 28 and hopefully Zhang Man doesn't disappoint but so far, she took the best route she could to slowly introduce Li Wei to the outside world. To make him be acquainted with the real world so he can leave his comfort zone after more than 10 years of loneliness and distrust to human nature. What Li Wei need is assurance, assurance that a human can have unconditional love to him like what he craved from his mother. Li Wei needs someone to wake him up from his defense mechanism, and with his distrustful nature, if others were to approach him with too much cautiousness then he will perceive it as mere curiosity and fear. So the best way is to continuously remind him that he is needed, he exists and can affect other people, that he is not someone who is fine with being alone.

The ML is such a tragic character. His family set up and childhood are incredibly sad. His mom died during childbirth. His dad committed su*cide because he felt like he was a danger to the world because he accidentally tried to kill the ML while suffering from a schizophrenic delusion. Then, when his grandfather found out that he inherited his dad’s schizophrenia, he abandoned him at an orphanage. Because the kids at orphanage knew he was diagnosed with schizophrenia, they bullied him ruthlessly to see if they could get a ride out of him. As a result of how lonely he felt, the ML ended up deluding himself into thinking he had a mother and friend (in the mtl they were named Janet and Nick, respectively). In the original timeline the misunderstandings caused by his belief that these people were real was what led the FL from distancing herself from him even though she had a crush on him. When he realized that these people weren’t real, he sunk into depression and eventually he committed su*cide.

When the FL found out the truth, she was devastated because she had never really moved on from him. Shortly after that she died in an accident and went back to just before they met. Knowing what she knew now, she decided to help him and finally be with him.

When the ML found out that Janet and Nick were just figments of his imagination that he’s kept alive for over 10 years, his fear and despair made me sob. Then, when he decided to leave the FL to protect her from his outbreaks, I bawled again. His situation is just so sad because you know there isn’t much he can do about his situation.

He does not become magically cured. He still has delusions from time to time, but he has learned how to ignore them. He knows that as long as MC is there for him, his delusions will not matter. Honestly, our MC also shows signs of mental illness. This is not said explicitly, but more on my judgment based on what was written about her approaches and mentality. She has paranoia about ML and she's very fearful of what may happen because of what she experienced in her previous life. It's heartwarming how their love allows both MC and ML to overcome their mental shadows.

She died 3 years before him and after she died he imagined that she's still alive and always took care of her.

Cooking breakfast and stayed by her side when she had a fever, his daughter was worried since she knew that her mother died and he was just having hallucination.

One month before he died he finally sobered and knew that he would soon come and see her. This part is too sad for me.

Like when she was insistent about him believing that she was sick and showed him the needle marks on her hands. ML felt that his belief was very important to her but he didn't know why.

I really cried hard especially after reading the last extra😭😭. The fact that Li Wei relapsed and started to think that Zhang Man was alive even after her death (due to old age) showed how much he loved her. If that wasn’t enough, the author writing that he became sober a month before his death and knew that the girl he loved so much died while everyone thought that he was still imagining her was enough to make me cry a bucket.

My favourite part is the ending, where the daughter talks about the struggles she saw with her own eyes. It's tear-jerking but it shows that life isn't rainbow all the time.. there are rain and thunderstorm everytime before the rainbows show up~ 🌈