Onii-chan saimin

Description

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When my consciousness returned, I have violated my sister many times

Associated Names
One entry per line
お兄ちゃん催眠
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
Omae wo Onii-chan ni Shite Yarouka!? (1)
Boku no Bungeibu ni Bitch ga Irunante Arienai (1)
Ordinary I and Extraordinary Them (1)
Jaku-chara Tomozaki-kun (1)
The Elf Is a Freeloader (1)

Latest Release

Date Group Release
10/04/17 Kuso oneshot
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diarrheavomit
diarrheavomit rated it
October 4, 2017
Status: oneshot
hello,

(irrelevant to the story) ... more>>
Spoiler

In my opinion, a smut-driven novel must be written with a higher standard than a plot-driven novel whether it be action or comedy. Whereas something like a tennis tournament novel may be excused for poor grammar and choice of words because you're on the edge of your seat wondering what will happen next, a smut story *must* be grammatically correct and flow smoothly in order to achieve ~maximum smutness~, otherwise, the story is disrupted, and the reader is left having to redirect blood flow from elsewhere to the brain to understand what the passage is attempting to say. Put it another way; a hentai manga needs to have exceptional art direction even its plot is lackluster to succeed, whilst a heavily plot driven manga such as Hunter × Hunter or ONE's web manga, One Punch Man, do not suffer from popularity losses to such a degree even in the face of sub par art. Perhaps there are some who don't mind it, but the majority will be turned off by bad art and in a novel, bad writing.

Which in turn leads to the quality of writing in the release by Kuso. All I have to say is that its bearable. The style of writing with its short paragraphs remind me of amateurish web novels. There may be many who prefer that style and that's fine, but I would like to point out that it reads like a student dictated the story and wrote it down word for word. Not exactly very eloquent.

There are small mistakes made - triffle is not a word defined by any dictionary. Perhaps the translator meant trifling, as in "Yuika says its's something trifling...". In any case, these small mistakes disrupt the flow and overall polish of the story - a blemish on the page, or an eye drawn on the wrong layer. Not enough to completely take the enjoyment out but enough to be a annoying that's hovering on the edge of your sight. But once again, not too bad. And everyone makes mistakes after all.

Small grammatical mistakes can be excused, but choice of words can not - especially in a novel whose main purpose is to evoke lewd imagery. What kind of imagery does the word slurp evoke? To me, someone would slurp a bowl of noodles, they would slurp jelly. They would *not* slurp a tongue. Which is apparently what this main character does. Okay. Perhaps others would become hot and bothered, but I do not feel hot, only bothered by this imagery. But I will acknowledge that art is subjective, and what others may find pleasing, I might not.

You might be wondering why this is in spoiler tags. Like I stated before, I believe in lewd novels such as this, the role of a translator is much more important than the author of the original work. So much so to the point that my review will largely be a review of the quality of translation. But since this site is a site for novels and not translations, it would a disservice to focus solely on the translation.

[collapse]
(/irrelevant to the story)

The story, like the title implies is about the brother being hypnotised. He gets hypnotised and proceeds to do lewd things with his sister. That's about the gist of it. It's very vanilla and the action is consensual.

The jump in point of view is very jarring and although the translator attempts to soften it up, it does interfere with the pacing and flow of the story. It makes sense (somewhat), as the point of view switch happens when the main character is unconscious. But there is no lead up to the switch and this leaves the reader confused as they might continue reading with the previous point of view in mind.

The flow of the story itself is questionable too. I don't know if its because of Japanese grammatical structure or if it was written that way but as stated in before, the quality of the novel seems rather amateurish (which is itself not a bad thing - there are some who prefer stories written this way; without excessively drawn out flowery passages detailing a single action). Every sentence seems really snappy, as if the novel was a set of instructions on how to act out a scene - case in point:

Spoiler

The charm in Yuika's voice gradually increases.

The vulva rubbed by my finger became a bit wet.

The vulva became wet and soaked the pure white panties.

I take off the panties forcefully.

When I stroke the puffing up, beautiful vulva with my finger, a transparent liquid sticks to it.

Then, my tongue crawls into her vulva, as if to lick away that liquid.

[collapse]

But this is my first novel of its genre that I have read and I may have come in with a few prejudices in mind. In any case, it was enjoyable enough.

1/1 this is great. <<less
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Otaku_Joe
Otaku_Joe rated it
October 25, 2018
Status: oneshot
As the Title suggest this oneshot novel is about a brother being Hypnotized by his sister.

"When my consciousness returned, I have violated my sister many times" The story follows the brother as he tries to remember the events leading up to his regaining consciousness.

The POV jumps around a bit from first to third person and some lines seem to be in the perspective of the sister.

... more>> The 18+ scenes aren't in too much detail but enough so that can more or less follow along with the unfolding situation.

In regards to the translation its okay. There are a few sentences that could do with a re write as they don't flow too well but other than that there seem to be no issues with the translation from.

i recommend reading it if you want a quick read to scratch that itch but if you are looking for anything deep this probably isn't for you. <<less
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