One Night, One Day, One Year, One Lifetime


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That night, I listened to the hymns till dawn, not for serenity, but to seek a sliver of your soul;

That month, I flipped through all the scriptures, not for enlightenment, but to touch the pages where your fingers once lingered;

That year, I knelt on the grounds, my head embracing the dusts, not to pay obeisance to the Gods, but to feel the warmth you left behind;

That life, I wandered through ten thousand great mountains, not in search for an afterlife, but to cross paths with you –

Gao Fei, do you believe that I lived through this night, this day, this year, and this lifetime, only to hold your hand and accompany you in this journey of life?

Associated Names
One entry per line
yi ye yi ri yi nian yi shi
Related Series
Eastern Palace (3)
Mulberry Song (2)
A Game To Make Him Fall (2)
Unrepentant (2)
Ballad of Ten Thousand Gu (2)
Deposed Empress General (2)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Stuff I didn't regret reading

Latest Release

Date Group Release
11/19/17 catharcity c13 (end)
11/18/17 catharcity c12
11/17/17 catharcity c11
11/15/17 catharcity c10
11/13/17 catharcity c9
11/11/17 catharcity c8
11/09/17 catharcity c7
11/08/17 catharcity c6
11/07/17 catharcity c5
11/07/17 catharcity c4
11/05/17 catharcity c3
11/04/17 catharcity c2
11/03/17 catharcity c1
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42 Reviews sorted by

New Emeilia rated it
August 3, 2019
Status: Completed
This story is greatly written with amazing detail and fantastic story-telling. The translation is smooth for easy reading. I like how the translator also wrote some review about the story easing the reader for better understanding.

So, the story is divided by two part.

Part 1:

From perspective of the girl from the synopsis. How she continue her life with lots of burden and hardship while still remain loyal to her loved one after she had done bad things earlier before. It doesnt necessarilly will make you sympatize with the MC, infact its... more>> totally up to you wheter to judge her good or bad.

Part 2:

This part is from the pov of ML. This is the continuation after the end of part 1. Basically what happen to the ML after big event that happen at the end of part 1. Pretty sad I might said.

I held back myself from giving out any spoilers as I myself really enjoy the story without any spoiler. This is a real heart-wrenching, broken hearted type of story. A bit of unrequited love and a bit obsessive love. But nothing too extreme and dont worry, im perfectly sure you guys are gonna like it. Perfect 10 🌟!! <<less
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Yi rated it
November 5, 2017
Status: Completed
" This is the story of me and He Yujin" were the last word spoken by the Gao Fei.

It is a great and also sad novel. Make you realize that each person has his or her reason for doing what he or she did. Once He Yujin leaves, Gao Fei realizes his feeling for her but is too late. I think he lives in regret, regretting that he did not cherish her enough when she was alive.

I have to say that I have never cried a bucketload of tears during... more>> and after reading a novel. Even the tears of Mulberry song (also a very sad story where the male lead keep thinking about the FL after her death) cannot compare with the tears I shed for this one. It is a very captivating and at the same time heartbreaking story.

If you can understand Chinese you should listen to the audio of this novel. <<less
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Arrange rated it
April 20, 2019
Status: c13

My eyes are currently blurred by the tears when I'm trying to write this review.

It all started from love at first sight, He Yijin was a pitiful child. I wouldn't call her autistic, but she certainly had a difficult time being misunderstood by everyone. She is a quiet child who keeps everything inside. She deserved so much, yet everyone, even life itself, they all took away something from her poor existence. The only unconditional love she received, was from his father. The only person that gave her his love willingly.

For every 'Gao Fei, I love you.' she said, my heart was stabbed as tear overflowed. She was so cute and yet so tragic. At that time I thought, is this some kind of Greek mythology where everyone is sad in some way or what?... And it was at that moment that I jinxed myself, yet again.

Now let's talk about Gao Fei. Gao Fei... Gao Fei...

How can I say it nicely... He's a pitiful bastard.

You received so much, yet gave so little. And when you decided to give something, there was no one on the other side waiting for you anymore. You were late. Yes, I can understand that forced marriage is never a good start for a relationship, but if the other party shows the same sincerity throughout the years of your constant cold treatment. She's a keeper, but you were a blind and stubborn man that needed to be that much of a jerk because of your wounded dignity, your stupid wounded ego.

After her death, Gao Fei, you showed some kind of regrets even though you deny them. You keep comparing your wife with her. Hahaha... What a pitiful bastard you really are. You just can't realize how much her existence really meant in your life, can you?

Even when faced with the truth, when everyone realized what you are so desperately trying to deny. You still refused to acknowledge it as you try to put back broken shard of a mirror of your former self. You. Pitiful. Bastard.

It's not He Yijin who couldn't let go, it was you who couldn't do it. Slowly descending into a spiral of madness, you lost everything you once deemed to be your "perfect" everything. Watching as your reality crumbles when you still try to fake it. Your retribution really brought me joy and satisfaction, but also added on the hollowness that I was feeling.

You couldn't even fulfill her last wish. Gao Fei not only you are a pitiful bastard, but you are also a selfish one. It was fate who gave you the chance to choose between life and death and yet you choose the latter gladly. Welcoming it with a smile on your face as you wished to be able to see her again. At least, you realize it. He Yijin was the one.

Still, hidden under my cynical words, I am hoping that in another lifetime both of you could have a happy end written on the last page.

My condolences and my prayers for the protagonists of this tragedy.

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jkmessah rated it
November 4, 2017
Status: Completed
I was not expecting that. I read the first two chapters and just had to go through Google translate to find out the rest.

I will say this now, there is a lot of pain in this story and when the tag says tragedy, they mean it. The characters were developed beautifully and the story was poignant.

You don't always treasure what you have until you lose it. For just under 15 ish chapters you get a story of loving and hating. The only story that comes to mind with similar ways... more>> of engaging you is The Mulberry Song which I also highly recommend.

Please give this a try and prepare tissues. <<less
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K_araxx rated it
November 4, 2017
Status: Completed
During the entire read I was struggling to hold down my tears. The story was too beautiful and much to well written. The emotions that He Yujin had for Gao Fei was heartbreaking, and beautiful. To continue reading was a hard mental choice in itself. But all in all a beautiful tragedy that I can't help but love even though it brought me waterfalls of tears.
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Umi Aslam
Umi Aslam rated it
September 4, 2018
Status: Completed
There love story began here to end here.

I cried so much. I love this story so very much.

... more>>

By author/translator


He Yujin; Gao Fei. One was insane while she lived, while the other was forced to insanity as he lived.

Their love ended before it could begin. He Yujin will never know that, even without realising it, Gao Fei had already come to love her, and Gao Fei will never have the chance to tell her that, it turns out, his love for her was no less than hers for him.

He Yujin loved too much; Gao Fei loved too late.

And Gao Fei paid the price for his pride and stubbornness. He led a colourless life without her. He walked on the streets, looking at all the other couples, and felt like an outsider to the happiness others enjoyed. Even as he searched, even as his marriage crumbled, still, he did not find an excuse for him to say, it's over, to end his life, all because He Yujin wished for him to be happy

That moment, I ascended to the Heavens and became immortal, not for an eternal life, but to watch over you for a lifetime of peace and



There is one kind of love

I love you, and this has nothing to do with you, but I love you.

There is another kind of love

I hate you, and I will never love you, but I will follow you in your death.

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maiha-sama rated it
November 19, 2017
Status: c13
This was a great read. Tragically heartbreaking. The flow and writing was simple but beautiful and you can really see the characters develop. Considering it was only 13 chapters, the author did a great job of showing us two viewpoints and evoking feelings for them both. There are so many novels that dedicate tens of chapters but fail to elicit a sliver of pity or understanding for their characters. The only other novel that was as short and effective was probably Mulberry Song.

I didn't agree with so many decisions He... more>> Yujin and Gao Fei made. Despite that, I wanted to truly understand what drove them to make those flawed decisions.


They say "Death is a Tragedy.. But only for the Living". Gao Fei went back to his regular life and he tried his best to deceive himself into thinking this was what he wanted. The more he lived, the more boxed in he felt, more detached. I like how the details of Fei's mental illness are not revealed explicitly.. Just tidbits peppered throughout. It allows you to imagine the extent and severity of his love for Yujin and how deeply he has deceived himself. I've found his character is really memorable - the price you have to pay for being too prideful and too stubborn


I must add, the translation is clean and seamless - translator does a fab job with all her novels.

Anyway, you should read this. <<less
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EmmaKat4800 rated it
December 15, 2018
Status: Completed
I cried really hard. This story is from two perspectives. It is about love, and how it destroys us.

... more>>

Everybody over here seems to like ML, but honestly, I feel for FL more. She was dying. She didn't have much of a choice. Would she live the last two years of her life watching the one she loves date someone else? Would she tell him about her illness and beg him to pretend with her? No. She wanted love, not pity. She wanted to love, too. Honestly, I think this was the closest she could've possibly gotten to happiness. The ML could've had a happier ending if he faced his feelings and admitted he loved FL, but he didn't. He chose to be stubborn. He chose to be unhappy. FL didn't have that choice. She loved and she loved and she did everything she possibly could to get him to love her back, and she even succeeded in the end, even if ML never admitted it. ML's story is a tragedy, but it's a tragedy because he himself made it one. FL's story is a tragedy because of her illness and because of ML. That is not the same thing.

I am not of the camp that thinks ML deserves his tragic ending, but he chose it for himself. He could've gone to the psychologist. He could've told FL he loves her. He could've reached out to his family instead of isolating himself in a house FILLED with memories of FL. But he didn't.

And don't tell me FL could've chosen to get treatment. The doctors told her there wasn't a chance for her to get better. She was going to die no matter what. She chose happiness. She chose to live the remainder of her life with the person she loves, even if he didn't love her back. She chose to tell him every day that she loved him. She had no living family. Her friend left her. This was the most happiness she could get. I agree that she made decisions that hurt other people, and I agree that she needs to face the consequences of those actions, but that doesnt make her situation any less tragic. Anyway, sorry for the ramble.


Overall, it was a really good story. I loved how the emotions were portrayed and how some things were hinted at instead of said outright. It was beautiful. Thank you. <<less
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odanezz0_3 rated it
November 28, 2017
Status: c13
I cried so much, but I'm really happy I read this novel. I really recommend it to everyone.

But the I read his side of the story and surprisenly I started to understand where he was coming from but I still feel he was to prideful and hard headed... Aah but that last paragraph.

MANNY SPOILER READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! (sorry I couldn't put the spoiler thingy I just open this account so I'm not really good at it 😓😟😳🙁 I tried but I couldn't)

... more>>

I really hated the ML when I read the FL POV and when

his POV started and he started to live his life and move on I was all like "Oh hell no!! 😡 he actually is moving on so easy WTH! He trully never Loved the MC P. S. especially when he wanted to have a baby with the new wife (it made cry after remember in how the MC wanted to give him a baby, well to tie him more to her (a bit cray cray) but then she discover she couldn't have kids that broke my heart 😢😧

BUT then this

"Before He Yujin died, she said that she only wished for me to lead a peaceful and happy life, and I had lived my life carrying out her wishes.

I remarried; worked hard at work; did not think of her; did not seek death.

I tried my best to live in happiness –

But a traffic accident was not something within my control.

Nor could I have known that I would divorce, just as I could never have known that I would meet with a traffic accident.

So, when she met me once again, she could not blame me. She must not blame me.

Slowly, my tears began to fall. I saw He Yujin's face, the face which I had been waiting for several years. The Heavens knew how many times I yearned to reach out, using my five fingers to touch her face. Gently, just like a lover, caressing her face.

If I met her, no, I would definitely meet her, for I had done so much just to meet her –

We would cross paths in the skies, and within the endless clouds, I would say, 'Hi, He Yujin. I'm Gao Fei, let's be friends.'

Then, I would become her husband.

If she had already found a new relationship there, I would use every means possible to destroy her relationship and family to become her husband.

My story with He Yujin began to end here..... "]
I seriously came to hate and then loved both characters especially the ML, when you read his part you kind of get hints of how much he misses her and of how he started to go insane and even imagining the MC and they're past life & how maybe how they're life would of been. If only they had started their relationship in a different way or if they had talked it out aaah! But the if's or perhaps dont exit and if they had existed in this novel then this novel wouldn't of be as great as it is and the author did an amaizing job portraying such a heart wrenching and bitter sweet story of a love or better put, of lovers that miss their time to love....
I would also like to thank the translator she did an amazing job, translating this it was really really well written and the things she wrote on the last chapter where my exact sentiments of understanding of this story which was very tragic and its sad to read how they could of but they didn't have a happy ending since I'm a very childish person I will imagine they do reunite in heaven or in a different life and they have their happy ending... I wrote to much I'ts just I can't move on from this novel jet (even do I just read it last night, I will definitely reread this novel again and again in the future)

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November 21, 2017
Status: c13
I was crying buckets.. I recommend this novel. It's short but there is this part where you can sympathize with the characters. Both the FL and ML loved each other, but while the FL loved the ML, the ML have never reciprocated her love. He only realized until he died. He rejected his yearning toward the FL, but love can never be predictable. A hate and love are intersected. Maybe you hate that person but over time you will learn to also love that person. Maybe you love that person... more>> but next time you will also hate that person. Feelings are unpredictable and also love.

WOW! I just love that novel. It make my heart squeezed dry. Why is it a short novel. Well!! You should just read it.

(Thanks if there's reading to this review. I just like need to force this feeling!) <<less
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Neneee rated it
July 7, 2019
Status: Completed
The story is very heartbreaking, it's definitely not something you should read before going to sleep if you wish for a peaceful sleep.

My feelings towards the FL and the ML are rather complicated.
For one, I can't agree with the way they're dealing their feelings, so I can't say that I really like them.

For example the way the FL pursues the ML. Also I can understand that the FL hurt the ML and that he believes that he hates her. But later on, when his feelings change, it feels as if he's not just punishing her for the things she has done, but also because he can't accept his change.

However I pity each and every character of the story. Starting from the FL, who longed for someone who isn't hers and was satisfied with far too little. The ML, who was never able to be true to himself. The second FL, who maybe should have known better and shouldn't have waited in the first place. All the families and friends and even the potential second ML.
And needless to say, I cried buckets.

I completely lost myself at the part, where the ML realized that he had only one picture of the FL, which he just destroyed.

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xpotatoknight rated it
May 16, 2018
Status: Completed
I liked this story and thought that the author really highlighted the ugly sides of love instead of how it's so pure and innocent.

... more>>

My favorite character was the FL. She was obsessive in love and did any means she possibly could to get into the heart of the man she loved. She accepted everything from him, including his hate because how much she loved him. I think one of her biggest flaw was that she didn't really know how to love someone so she did it recklessly. I could only admire how hard she tried and in the end wasn't even sad. She just wanted a bit of happiness in her short time that she had left. I don't agree with the way she went about things, but she was desperate and hopelessly in love. She got what she wanted and had her own happy ending.

I disliked the ML. I understand his hatred for the FL because she messed up the lives of his parents and his past relationship to be with him, but even when she was gone, he was so adamant about how much he hated her and how she ruined everything for him after she was gone. His life went back to normal when FL died, but it was his own fault his relationship with his 2nd marriage went down the drain. It was only in the last few lines of the last chapter did he finally realize his feelings. I guess my biggest annoyance with him was how he denied his feelings, and refused to give up thoughts of FL when he had already started a new life, thus causing misery for the 2nd girl.

Honestly, had the FL not died, nothing would have changed until they both died from old age. He would always blame her and continue to hate her for the rest of his life and she would continue to be by his side smiling happily, telling him "I love you".

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BigKia29 rated it
November 18, 2017
Status: Completed
I agree 100% to Anastrisha. I rated it 3stars because the way it is written and translated was good, more than good to be honest but on several occasions throughout the story I want to smash my laptop (no joke).

ps: this is like the ugly twin of A Game to Make Him Fall
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Darla9999 rated it
May 10, 2019
Status: --
An exceptionally beautifully written story.

As a die hard fan of tragedy I have to say, that this story is the one of the most simplistic yet realistic day to day life story U have ever read.

I spent the last chapters crying buckets, feeling frustrated and but unable to stop reading. The ending had a beautiful conclusion, so different from the cliche ones.
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cosmicimmortal rated it
April 18, 2019
Status: Completed
I don't usually write reviews but this book was worth the time to write one.

The book is not a happy one at all and it makes you really think about relationships and what love truly is between people. It was an emotional ride from beginning to end. Both He Yujin and Gao Fei had their own ideas about love and the relationship and seeing it from both their point of views was really interesting.

This was definitely one of the best BE books I've read and the translation was top notch... more>> as well, totally deserving of the good reviews I've seen so far. I highly recommend the book but be prepared to cry haha. <<less
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Snoweee rated it
April 17, 2019
Status: Completed
So speechless the author did a good job portraying emotions of each characters.... The only suggestion I could give is for you guys to prepare a bucket cause I surely guess that you guys can fill it up using your tears....
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dona rated it
February 24, 2019
Status: --
Jesus lord I couldn´t stop crying. This was truly an emotional ride and I don´t give 5 stars so easily. This is a story about what unhealthy and obsessive love leads to. I couldn´t stop reading until I finished it and it still wasn´t enough. Now my eyes are puffy.

Highly recommended but be prepared to shed a few tears.
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acatone rated it
August 1, 2018
Status: Completed
Wow, okay. I decided to read this bc the random novel option pushed this in my direction, and the poem in the description was hella vague and I didn't know what to expect but....


I actually legit cried reading this.

... more>> Everyone in this novel is so flawed, so human. The entire thing felt very real. It doesn't help that it was being written in first person, literally shoving you into the shoes of the main characters.

The FL is spoiled, selfish, and hurt the people she loved, but ultimately, she's still a very loveable character. She's naive, oblivious, but not without reason. Seeing her interaction with the ML was just heartbreaking from start to finish but you can see that even if her ways are reckless and selfish, she did love the ML even if he hated her, and blamed her for what happened. In fact, more than half of the unfortunate incidents that happened to ML were not even done directly by her.

but was done rather by her father, who really dotes on her because of her weak physique. She knows of what her father had done only afer, but still accepts the fact that it would not happened if she was not as spoiled or insisted, and she understands the fact that he hated her and would not forgive her.

He hated her and she knows, that's why every little slightly positive thing he does, something as simple as a glint in his eyes, delights her, and it was heart breaking to see. Still, she doesn't deny that his misery started with her, and In the end, she paid for it.... kinda.... Her end left a bitterweet feeling in my mouth. Still, I think among all of the characters, the FL and the ML's ex probably got the happiest ending.

On the other hand, the ML was the one getting hurt and can't let go of it, but under his circumstances, you still can't help but sympathize to him as well. Of course, it would be natural for him to hate her, but as the story goes, his pride caused his downfall, really. Refusing to accept the fact that his heart has changed, the things around him slowly come into ruins.

The character development for both of the main characters were exceptional, really. The subtle changes you see in their actions, their train of thought, their speech, it was just truly amazing. Seeing the FL go through a variety of states from naivety, guilt, self-loathing before learning to let go was simply amazing and heart-wrenching. Seeing this development intertwined with the ML's growth was also quite touching, if only it was not too late. In fact, the first person POV was done exceptionally well in the second part of the story, when it uses the perspective of the ML. This is because we as the readers could see what was changing within him and around him, but the character himself could not, which was frustrating, heart-wrenching and emotionally draining, and ultimately; effective.

In summary, this was a really heart-wrenching story, with an ending leaving you with a series of "what if"s.

Most importantly, the translation of this text was incredibly well done. It was beautiful, powerful and without it, I don't think I'd enjoy this story as much. The poetries were translated beautifully, the words flow nicely, forcing me to read from start to finish in one go. Please give this one a chance <<less
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bookwurm247 rated it
June 16, 2018
Status: c13
All I can say is: wtf. I knew what I was getting into when I started reading it, but I was not expecting to be so impacted by the beautiful writing and tragic story. The translator tried her best (i think she did a great job) with trying to encapsulate as much of the original feeling of the story, but if you can read or understand chinese, I would recommend that you just go ahead and read the original. I know that's what I would be doing now if was... more>> able to understand chinese. I don't know if it was because I haven't cried while reading a novel in a while or I was just in a crying mood today, but I was bawling like a baby two chapters in and all the way to the end. The translator gave her thoughts at the end and she said something that I think perfectly summed up the story: he yujin loved too much and gao fei loved too late. I'm writing this right after finishing the story so my emotions are all the place right now. I can't give a well written review that this story deserves and all I can come up with is: if bittersweet endings are your cup of tea, then go ahead and chug this story. Bring tissues, you will need them. <<less
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hikaoru rated it
May 18, 2018
Status: c13
even though that ML was just forced to wed MC, MC is a lovable woman. But MC is the type that once she love, she'll love once unconditionally in her lifetime.

MC's mistake is that she forced him to marry her. Furthermore, it made his father met an "accident". Although ML has shown his love before she died, I do think that if she didn't fell ill, he wouldn't change his cruel treatment towards her. Thankfully, they didn't have a child. It would be one less worry to MC.

ML on the... more>> other hand is cheating with his former girlfriend while they are married. He knew that no matter what he does, she'll still love him anyway. This type of love, although it is suffocating, since MC is a lovable woman, he denies the change of heart that he is having and continued with his affair with his mistress. Until such time that MC died, he still denied that he loves her not until after months he married his mistress. He still thinks that his 2nd marriage fall was because he interfered with his first love but truth be told, it was his heart who's making him remember MC. The failure of his marriage is because he keeps on comparing MC and his 2nd wife. But he didn't knew about the real self of his 2nd until she she aborted their child. The 2nd wife's love is superficial while MC's love is selfless and unconditional.

if only MC married her father's prospective husband choice, she would have been loved by Chu Yun more than what she received from ML.. <<less
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xxBlackRabbitxx rated it
February 6, 2018
Status: Completed
In here we can see a different kind of love. We can see that love does not only end in happiness nor can be it only be felt through pure emotions.

I won't be able to throughly say what is the meaning behind this story for spoiling purposes but I can never say that I regreted reading this tragic story
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