The one who suggested this story to me told me to make an analysis of the characters so here it is:

He Yujin: this girl has been sick, bullied and never experienced real love asides from her father and her Aunt (their previous caretaker) her whole life. Thats why when she saw someone who she treasures (Gao Fei, love at first sight) and when she thinks she's showing her love to someone dear to her (her friend) she does it with all her might to achieve it. But heck, she doesn't even know how to properly convey her feelings which is pretty obvious on the way she agreed on doing extreme means to obtain her love and helping her friend to obtain hers. She knew it was wrong, but what other options she have? She was desperate and yearning for it, she's obviously not thinking straight and other options weren't even considered or thought of. She thought she was doing something good when she was 'helping' her friend. She thought she can acquire the love of the man she covets if she persists enough (well, in a way she really did). She was the character who poses a lot of 'what-ifs.' What if she didn't agreed to her dad's plans? What if she didn't push herself to Gao Fei? What if she normally lets life take its course? Will she and Gao Fei still end up together or will she be happy with someone else and Gao Fei to Su Jiangjing? Again, those are what-ifs and will remain as so.

Frankly, her fault to me is only these: she loves so much, too much. That fault of hers is her downfall and her redemption. It was admirable and pitiful really, when all she ever wanted was to spend the remainder of her life besides the man she loves with her whole being, serving him, simply content by just watching him and being by his side even if her feelings were never reciprocated, her actions and deeds were never appreciated and acknowledge and her own existence treated as a thorn to her husband's life. She was willing to give up her life for him. Because for her, the only reason she existed is for her to love him.

Gao Fei: I hated to see this guy spiral down to insanity even though it was never acknowledge. If you think about it, he doesn't deserve it. As his parents in the novel stated, "This shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't have happened, " because it really isn't meant to be. He has a bright future ahead of him, he was filial and kind, but what did life gave him? Tragedy. His life destroyed by marrying a woman he doesn't love; his own parents, traumatized and one of them became an invalid; his one true love, broken up, pieced together and broken again; and most of all his wife; he truly hated her, but sometime, he never realized that he had fallen too because he clung unto that hate, disgust and resentment he feels for her which blinded him greatly. He realized the truth too late and it caused his spiral downwards : (

Truthfully, it will be a hard pill to swallow when you realize that you have fallen inlove with the woman who basically destroyed your life. I don't blame him for this. And kudos to He Yujin, because really, who wouldn't fall for a girl so dedicated like her? It's hard to find a person who will love you whole heartedly, so devotedly and unconditionally. A person who lives just to love you with all her being. *Sniffs*

Su Jiangjing: I suppose she is just another victim of circumstances. The man she loves was taken away from her and when she thought she finally got him back, boom! His mind and heart had long been in disarray and thoroughly snatched by someone else. It is hard to love someone who doesn't love you back as much as you do love them. It is hard to stay beside a person, no matter how kind Gao Fei is to her, who is making you a scapegoat in life and is never fully aware of you. All she ever wants is for Gao Fei to love her back but it was too late, too many things have changed and happened.

While I say those, I am actually having a hard time connecting with her. I cannot believe she just abandoned her husband and ABORTED THEIR CHILD JUST LIKE THAT. Yes, I understand her reasons but heck, you just can't abandon someone with mental issues like that, you just can't abandon someone you LOVE. She already know he has one, and while a direct confrontation is needed, I seriously think she could have done it in a better way and actually coaxed her husband slowly to do her wishes. But no, she went guns ablazing and so she kiss goodbye to her dreams. AND HER MOTHER IS SUCH A FREAKING b*tch, while Gao Fei takes no offense in her words, WHY I f*ckING DO IN BEHALF OF GAO FEI.

Everybody over here seems to like ML, but honestly, I feel for FL more. She was dying. She didn't have much of a choice. Would she live the last two years of her life watching the one she loves date someone else? Would she tell him about her illness and beg him to pretend with her? No. She wanted love, not pity. She wanted to love, too. Honestly, I think this was the closest she could've possibly gotten to happiness. The ML could've had a happier ending if he faced his feelings and admitted he loved FL, but he didn't. He chose to be stubborn. He chose to be unhappy. FL didn't have that choice. She loved and she loved and she did everything she possibly could to get him to love her back, and she even succeeded in the end, even if ML never admitted it. ML's story is a tragedy, but it's a tragedy because he himself made it one. FL's story is a tragedy because of her illness and because of ML. That is not the same thing.

I am not of the camp that thinks ML deserves his tragic ending, but he chose it for himself. He could've gone to the psychologist. He could've told FL he loves her. He could've reached out to his family instead of isolating himself in a house FILLED with memories of FL. But he didn't.

And don't tell me FL could've chosen to get treatment. The doctors told her there wasn't a chance for her to get better. She was going to die no matter what. She chose happiness. She chose to live the remainder of her life with the person she loves, even if he didn't love her back. She chose to tell him every day that she loved him. She had no living family. Her friend left her. This was the most happiness she could get. I agree that she made decisions that hurt other people, and I agree that she needs to face the consequences of those actions, but that doesnt make her situation any less tragic. Anyway, sorry for the ramble.

In all chapters, FL reaped what she sow. ML while in a relationship with Second FL* was forced to marry FL because yea she fell in love at first sight. Then with her powerful father, she told him that she wants to marry ML. Papa agreed with her s*upid daughter and kidnapped ML's family which in that time, ML's papa broke his leg, lol. So, ML married FL against his wishes while breaking up with Second FL to protect his family. After some time FL's papa died, and FL got the industry where the Second ML actually took care of the industry (* the one chosen by the wise FL's papa to marry FL initially, buut it just had to be what it is now written ^.^). After two years, in the novel ML still treats FL coldly which is normal, and the FL still claims her undying, selfish, love (Warning: bed scenes, detailed... but not that much). (Shortly*) Then FL dies because of a sickness (which I don't even know what it's called) and ML marries Second FL but ML keeps hallucinating the FL and misses her but pride and stubborn stuff. The second FL realizes in the time she has a child in her belly that ML is crazy OOC-ing *oops* and aborts the baby (seriously girl?... that child...... taken a life, dislike you too) then divorces. After that the ML stays in the house they lived in their marriage (FL*), as this was given to him as propriety and... yes, the ML keeps hallucinating, dreaming, thinking " you wouldn't treat me or the child, like Second FL, right?" well OFC, FL would say: "Gao Fei we have a child" and smile (entering too much in details). Then ML gets in a bus accident and refuses to take the chance to live from the helpers* and yea it crashes down that bus and boom, dead.

Honestly I would've made FL the second female lead mistress syndrome, and the Second FL the Female Lead. Maybe if someone would've transmigrated (before meeting ML, phew) in FL then wow, this story would've been something different, no relations to ML or Second FL, just a new start to life while being rich, xD.

The End, hope you liked it

FORCED

Just imagine - somebody abducting your parents to force you into an unwilling marriage, resulting in your father being crippled, drugging you on the wedding night to ensure that the marriage is consummated. Ugh. And her father just indulges her through it all, which reeks of an entitled upbringing. And she knows how wrong she is too, hence why she can't do or say anything. His parents are justifiably terrified when she drops in unannounced to satisfy her own (selfish) desire to do her daughter-in-law duties and frankly I don't blame them. Imagine the trauma from facing the person that caused your kidnaping and your son to be entrapped in an unhappy life.

Just imagine if the genders were swapped.

And she is selfish through this whole story; even though from her POV she seems so pitiful and self-sacrificing. 🙄

Her selfishness does not stop there - no, she's simply in love with him. That's her justification. But their beginning and end was doomed - and that's 100% all on her. I don't know what she expected..

You may say that Gao Fei was simply too prideful to admit that he loved her. But from another perspective, you could say that that's perhaps more of indignation. He had been treated so unjustly and how do you admit that you love someone who was the perpetrator of it all?

Gao Fei didn't stand a chance - 2 years being loved by someone so obsessively. Of course he fell in love, who could resist someone who seemed to exist just to please you? And here is also where Yujin is so, so selfish. She's always been in bad health, she knew she would be gone one day. Why start all of this? Why be so good to Gao Fei, hoping to have a child she could leave behind after she's gone, hoping for him to someday love her back when she knew all that? Hoping that she'll stay in his memories as his white moonlight (puke) forever after (almost) sacrificing her life for him. And after turning his world upside down, she expects him to continue on normally after she's gone. c'mon seriously... it's not surprising the guy has issues after being subjected to all this. He was unlucky enough to get the queen of all the Green Tea b*tches whose methods veer into the wildly illegal side.

And all of this - was the direct results of Yujin's actions and she herself knows this. So what if Gao Fei had admitted he loved her? It would have probably changed nothing (Stockholm Syndrome). And he didn't even treat her badly. He was simply cold to her, as I imagine you would be to somebody who literally kidnapped your parents just to marry you????? 👀👀👀 like okkkkk

Up until the end, Gao Fei was the pitiful victim of Yujin's selfish 'love'. I really hope that this story is the beginning of their end and that they don't ever have to meet again, for both their sake.

I didn't shed a single tear reading their story. The tragedy here only applies to Gao Fei that poor guy. 💁🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't know how I feel about this story.... it's disturbing. Basically the guy hated her with reason and just wanted to resist the coercion, but it seems he was moved by the devotion and forgot his first love and in the end the one he loves most is the FL.

You can destroy his life, hurt his family, destroy his love to get him. As long as you manage to force yourself on him, just be a little patient, you will treat him so well that he will madly fall for you...a little scary nah?

Yes he never reciprocated (which is fair) but he did fall for her... that's the real tragedy to me lol.

They say "Death is a Tragedy.. But only for the Living". Gao Fei went back to his regular life and he tried his best to deceive himself into thinking this was what he wanted. The more he lived, the more boxed in he felt, more detached. I like how the details of Fei's mental illness are not revealed explicitly.. Just tidbits peppered throughout. It allows you to imagine the extent and severity of his love for Yujin and how deeply he has deceived himself. I've found his character is really memorable - the price you have to pay for being too prideful and too stubborn

hate her

she's dead, that he's going to die

By author/translator

Madmen

He Yujin; Gao Fei. One was insane while she lived, while the other was forced to insanity as he lived.

Their love ended before it could begin. He Yujin will never know that, even without realising it, Gao Fei had already come to love her, and Gao Fei will never have the chance to tell her that, it turns out, his love for her was no less than hers for him.

He Yujin loved too much; Gao Fei loved too late.

And Gao Fei paid the price for his pride and stubbornness. He led a colourless life without her. He walked on the streets, looking at all the other couples, and felt like an outsider to the happiness others enjoyed. Even as he searched, even as his marriage crumbled, still, he did not find an excuse for him to say, it's over, to end his life, all because He Yujin wished for him to be happy

That moment, I ascended to the Heavens and became immortal, not for an eternal life, but to watch over you for a lifetime of peace and

happiness..

........

There is one kind of love

I love you, and this has nothing to do with you, but I love you.

There is another kind of love

I hate you, and I will never love you, but I will follow you in your death.

I really hated the ML when I read the FL POV and when

his POV started and he started to live his life and move on I was all like "Oh hell no!! ? he actually is moving on so easy WTH! He trully never Loved the MC P. S. especially when he wanted to have a baby with the new wife (it made cry after remember in how the MC wanted to give him a baby, well to tie him more to her (a bit cray cray) but then she discover she couldn't have kids that broke my heart ??

BUT then this

"Before He Yujin died, she said that she only wished for me to lead a peaceful and happy life, and I had lived my life carrying out her wishes.

I remarried; worked hard at work; did not think of her; did not seek death.

I tried my best to live in happiness –

But a traffic accident was not something within my control.

Nor could I have known that I would divorce, just as I could never have known that I would meet with a traffic accident.

So, when she met me once again, she could not blame me. She must not blame me.

Slowly, my tears began to fall. I saw He Yujin's face, the face which I had been waiting for several years. The Heavens knew how many times I yearned to reach out, using my five fingers to touch her face. Gently, just like a lover, caressing her face.

If I met her, no, I would definitely meet her, for I had done so much just to meet her –

We would cross paths in the skies, and within the endless clouds, I would say, 'Hi, He Yujin. I'm Gao Fei, let's be friends.'

Then, I would become her husband.

If she had already found a new relationship there, I would use every means possible to destroy her relationship and family to become her husband.

My story with He Yujin began to end here..... "]
I seriously came to hate and then loved both characters especially the ML, when you read his part you kind of get hints of how much he misses her and of how he started to go insane and even imagining the MC and they're past life & how maybe how they're life would of been. If only they had started their relationship in a different way or if they had talked it out aaah! But the if's or perhaps dont exit and if they had existed in this novel then this novel wouldn't of be as great as it is and the author did an amaizing job portraying such a heart wrenching and bitter sweet story of a love or better put, of lovers that miss their time to love....
I would also like to thank the translator she did an amazing job, translating this it was really really well written and the things she wrote on the last chapter where my exact sentiments of understanding of this story which was very tragic and its sad to read how they could of but they didn't have a happy ending since I'm a very childish person I will imagine they do reunite in heaven or in a different life and they have their happy ending... I wrote to much I'ts just I can't move on from this novel jet (even do I just read it last night, I will definitely reread this novel again and again in the future)