One Night, One Day, One Year, One Lifetime


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That night, I listened to the hymns till dawn, not for serenity, but to seek a sliver of your soul;

That month, I flipped through all the scriptures, not for enlightenment, but to touch the pages where your fingers once lingered;

That year, I knelt on the grounds, my head embracing the dust, not to pay obeisance to the Gods, but to feel the warmth you left behind;

That life, I wandered through ten thousand great mountains, not in search of an afterlife, but to cross paths with you –

Gao Fei, will you believe that I lived through this night, this day, this year, and this lifetime, only to hold your hand and accompany you in this journey of life?

Associated Names
One entry per line
yi ye yi ri yi nian yi shi
Related Series
Mulberry Song (4)
Eastern Palace (4)
Unrepentant (4)
Falling Leaves Without Trace (3)
A Game To Make Him Fall (2)
Ballad of Ten Thousand Gu (2)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Favs novels
  2. Tragedy of tragedies
  3. sad beautiful tragic
  4. Choose me, love me. (Angst)
  5. Novels which lives in me

Latest Release

Date Group Release
11/19/17 catharcity c13 (end)
11/18/17 catharcity c12
11/17/17 catharcity c11
11/15/17 catharcity c10
11/13/17 catharcity c9
11/11/17 catharcity c8
11/09/17 catharcity c7
11/08/17 catharcity c6
11/07/17 catharcity c5
11/07/17 catharcity c4
11/05/17 catharcity c3
11/04/17 catharcity c2
11/03/17 catharcity c1
Write a Review
128 Reviews sorted by

Arrange rated it
April 20, 2019
Status: c13

My eyes are currently blurred by the tears when I'm trying to write this review.

It all started from love at first sight, He Yijin was a pitiful child. I wouldn't call her autistic, but she certainly had a difficult time being misunderstood by everyone. She is a quiet child who keeps everything inside. She deserved so much, yet everyone, even life itself, they all took away something from her poor existence. The only unconditional love she received, was from her father. The only person that gave her his love willingly.

For every 'Gao Fei, I love you.' she said, my heart was stabbed as tear overflowed. She was so cute and yet so tragic. At that time I thought, is this some kind of Greek mythology where everyone is sad in some way or what?... And it was at that moment that I jinxed myself, yet again.

Now let's talk about Gao Fei. Gao Fei... Gao Fei...

How can I say it nicely... He's a pitiful bastard.

You received so much, yet gave so little. And when you decided to give something, there was no one on the other side waiting for you anymore. You were late. Yes, I can understand that forced marriage is never a good start for a relationship, but if the other party shows the same sincerity throughout the years of your constant cold treatment. She's a keeper, but you were a blind and stubborn man that needed to be that much of a jerk because of your wounded dignity, your s*upid wounded ego.

After her death, Gao Fei, you showed some kind of regrets even though you deny them. You keep comparing your wife with her. Hahaha... What a pitiful bastard you really are. You just can't realize how much her existence really meant in your life, can you?

Even when faced with the truth, when everyone realized what you are so desperately trying to deny. You still refused to acknowledge it as you try to put back broken shards of a mirror of your former self. You. Pitiful. Bastard.

It's not He Yijin who couldn't let go, it was you who couldn't do it. Slowly descending into a spiral of madness, you lost everything you once deemed to be your "perfect" everything. Watching as your reality crumbles when you still try to fake it. Your retribution really brought me joy and satisfaction, but also added on the hollowness that I was feeling.

You couldn't even fulfill her last wish. Gao Fei not only you are a pitiful bastard, but you are also a selfish one. It was fate who gave you the chance to choose between life and death and yet you choose the latter gladly. Welcoming it with a smile on your face as you wished to be able to see her again. At least, you realize it. He Yijin was the one.

Still, hidden under my cynical words, I am hoping that in another lifetime both of you could have a happy end written on the last page.

My condolences and my prayers for the protagonists of this tragedy.

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Chuki Yuuki
Chuki Yuuki
June 30, 2020
Status: Completed
Somewhere out there, there are people who had made the same choices, committed the same mistakes and have the same regrets as these characters. The story of these characters started off really wrong/in the wrong foot and ended up too late to make any amends.

Personally, I think what made this novel such a masterpiece because it hits reality too close. It does not provide the happy ending or the happy feeling that we seek and crave in our usual novels to escape our own worries or life. This, this wonderful... more>> piece, made you think of life and love and love and life and all the baggage that comes with it and reminds you again: life is such an oddball, you don't know where it'll take you, what it'll give you- bliss or pain.


The one who suggested this story to me told me to make an analysis of the characters so here it is:

He Yujin: this girl has been sick, bullied and never experienced real love asides from her father and her Aunt (their previous caretaker) her whole life. Thats why when she saw someone who she treasures (Gao Fei, love at first sight) and when she thinks she's showing her love to someone dear to her (her friend) she does it with all her might to achieve it. But heck, she doesn't even know how to properly convey her feelings which is pretty obvious on the way she agreed on doing extreme means to obtain her love and helping her friend to obtain hers. She knew it was wrong, but what other options she have? She was desperate and yearning for it, she's obviously not thinking straight and other options weren't even considered or thought of. She thought she was doing something good when she was 'helping' her friend. She thought she can acquire the love of the man she covets if she persists enough (well, in a way she really did). She was the character who poses a lot of 'what-ifs.' What if she didn't agreed to her dad's plans? What if she didn't push herself to Gao Fei? What if she normally lets life take its course? Will she and Gao Fei still end up together or will she be happy with someone else and Gao Fei to Su Jiangjing? Again, those are what-ifs and will remain as so.

Frankly, her fault to me is only these: she loves so much, too much. That fault of hers is her downfall and her redemption. It was admirable and pitiful really, when all she ever wanted was to spend the remainder of her life besides the man she loves with her whole being, serving him, simply content by just watching him and being by his side even if her feelings were never reciprocated, her actions and deeds were never appreciated and acknowledge and her own existence treated as a thorn to her husband's life. She was willing to give up her life for him. Because for her, the only reason she existed is for her to love him.

Gao Fei: I hated to see this guy spiral down to insanity even though it was never acknowledge. If you think about it, he doesn't deserve it. As his parents in the novel stated, "This shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't have happened, " because it really isn't meant to be. He has a bright future ahead of him, he was filial and kind, but what did life gave him? Tragedy. His life destroyed by marrying a woman he doesn't love; his own parents, traumatized and one of them became an invalid; his one true love, broken up, pieced together and broken again; and most of all his wife; he truly hated her, but sometime, he never realized that he had fallen too because he clung unto that hate, disgust and resentment he feels for her which blinded him greatly. He realized the truth too late and it caused his spiral downwards : (

Truthfully, it will be a hard pill to swallow when you realize that you have fallen inlove with the woman who basically destroyed your life. I don't blame him for this. And kudos to He Yujin, because really, who wouldn't fall for a girl so dedicated like her? It's hard to find a person who will love you whole heartedly, so devotedly and unconditionally. A person who lives just to love you with all her being. *Sniffs*

Su Jiangjing: I suppose she is just another victim of circumstances. The man she loves was taken away from her and when she thought she finally got him back, boom! His mind and heart had long been in disarray and thoroughly snatched by someone else. It is hard to love someone who doesn't love you back as much as you do love them. It is hard to stay beside a person, no matter how kind Gao Fei is to her, who is making you a scapegoat in life and is never fully aware of you. All she ever wants is for Gao Fei to love her back but it was too late, too many things have changed and happened.

While I say those, I am actually having a hard time connecting with her. I cannot believe she just abandoned her husband and ABORTED THEIR CHILD JUST LIKE THAT. Yes, I understand her reasons but heck, you just can't abandon someone with mental issues like that, you just can't abandon someone you LOVE. She already know he has one, and while a direct confrontation is needed, I seriously think she could have done it in a better way and actually coaxed her husband slowly to do her wishes. But no, she went guns ablazing and so she kiss goodbye to her dreams. AND HER MOTHER IS SUCH A FREAKING b*tch, while Gao Fei takes no offense in her words, WHY I f*ckING DO IN BEHALF OF GAO FEI.


And I rest my case. If you read up until this point then thank you for doing so. You are amazing and may you find happiness in love unlike these characters! ♡ <<less
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08phamann rated it
January 12, 2019
Status: c13
To be completely honest, I wasn't completely a fan of this novel. This type of love, the obsessive and selfish type of love that ignores the wishes and dignity of the other person, and superimposes the other person's definition of love, is not my style. I thought that He Yujin was totally in the wrong in the way she pursued Gao Fei. Her forcing love form him, when he clearly initially felt none, was not satisfying at all. Hopeing that Gai Fei will eventually fall in love with He Yijin... more>> is like hoping someone who is kidnapped will develop stockholm syndrome towards their kidnapper. That is not really my type of romance, although I do know there are lots of people out there who are into that type of thing. The ending from Gai Fei's POV did not really make me that sad either. It did not move me like I would have liked it it. Yes, I understand it was a depiction of his slow descent into insanity, where everyone buy him can tell he was functioning, but not fully there. Not now that He Yujin is gone. But I just didn't feel it. <<less
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bookiecookie rated it
January 23, 2022
Status: Completed
Not gonna lie I don't like MC. She's a psychotic selfish human who ruined whole family of ml. Including his girlfriend. Her actions are not forgivable or sympathetic. She's same as those cold yandere CEO in typical cn novels. Just gender swapped and adjusted things be gender conforming. This whole story is designed to victim blaming of ml. Of course people like MC have obsessions and sob story but none of it excuses her behaviour. Honestly she's far too protected otherwise she's in jail long ago. I don't blame ml's... more>> first girlfriend she just choose protect herself since ML is broken beyond repair. Utter tragedy here is ML having Stockholm syndrome, his parents loosing their kid and health, breaking up two people in love, and that led to failure of ml's marriage later on. For MC I have no sympathy or absolutely not empathy. She's a walking disaster. Apparently majority of our society are victim blamers. Novel has high ratings but no empathy at all.


I find these kind of stories very dangerous author is obviously very talented to gaslight readers to believe in mc's sob story. Remember just because someone have a difficult past not everyone turns into entitled psycho like MC. These stories make you question your judgement make you become mob of victim blamers in real life. I have seen few of my colleagues who have some skewed view of morals after continously watching those abusive romances and reading novels. And myself found in weird mindset when I was younger. <<less
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Yi rated it
November 5, 2017
Status: Completed
" This is the story of me and He Yujin" were the last word spoken by the Gao Fei.

It is a great and also sad novel. Make you realize that each person has his or her reason for doing what he or she did. Once He Yujin leaves, Gao Fei realizes his feeling for her but is too late. I think he lives in regret, regretting that he did not cherish her enough when she was alive.

I have to say that I have never cried a bucketload of tears during... more>> and after reading a novel. Even the tears of Mulberry song (also a very sad story where the male lead keep thinking about the FL after her death) cannot compare with the tears I shed for this one. It is a very captivating and at the same time heartbreaking story.

If you can understand Chinese you should listen to the audio of this novel. <<less
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June 6, 2022
Status: c9
Why is this so highly rated? You're telling me a love story where the MC forced the love interest to marry them by threatening and kidnapping the soon the be in-laws that (accidently) cripples the soon to be father-in-law then drugging the spouse with aphrodisiacs on the wedding night has 4.7 stars? How desperate and psychotic are you?

Everyone is talking about how He Yujin loved too much. People I think you mean obsess and covet. Like Gao Fei said, I pity those you love.

And Gao Fei, damn boy, Stockholm got... more>> you good huh. I really wish he never met her. 😕 <<less
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EmmaKat4800 rated it
December 15, 2018
Status: Completed
I cried really hard. This story is from two perspectives. It is about love, and how it destroys us.

... more>>

Everybody over here seems to like ML, but honestly, I feel for FL more. She was dying. She didn't have much of a choice. Would she live the last two years of her life watching the one she loves date someone else? Would she tell him about her illness and beg him to pretend with her? No. She wanted love, not pity. She wanted to love, too. Honestly, I think this was the closest she could've possibly gotten to happiness. The ML could've had a happier ending if he faced his feelings and admitted he loved FL, but he didn't. He chose to be stubborn. He chose to be unhappy. FL didn't have that choice. She loved and she loved and she did everything she possibly could to get him to love her back, and she even succeeded in the end, even if ML never admitted it. ML's story is a tragedy, but it's a tragedy because he himself made it one. FL's story is a tragedy because of her illness and because of ML. That is not the same thing.

I am not of the camp that thinks ML deserves his tragic ending, but he chose it for himself. He could've gone to the psychologist. He could've told FL he loves her. He could've reached out to his family instead of isolating himself in a house FILLED with memories of FL. But he didn't.

And don't tell me FL could've chosen to get treatment. The doctors told her there wasn't a chance for her to get better. She was going to die no matter what. She chose happiness. She chose to live the remainder of her life with the person she loves, even if he didn't love her back. She chose to tell him every day that she loved him. She had no living family. Her friend left her. This was the most happiness she could get. I agree that she made decisions that hurt other people, and I agree that she needs to face the consequences of those actions, but that doesnt make her situation any less tragic. Anyway, sorry for the ramble.


Overall, it was a really good story. I loved how the emotions were portrayed and how some things were hinted at instead of said outright. It was beautiful. Thank you. <<less
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gondry rated it
June 15, 2021
Status: Completed
** I really hope people stop romanticising this story. ML was: ... more>>


FL held the ultimate power and was really the ONLY one who got this tragedy ball rolling. So serves her right. She needs a boatload of therapy (and so does ML after all the emotional trauma she put him through). This is not romantic >>>>> (contrary to FL's opinion, 10, 000 little good/considerate actions does not cancel crime out) :))))))

Edit 19/7 - Started thinking about this story, so came here to hate on Yujin again. After brewing on it, she still really is a piece of work. Saw one of the reviews mention Stockholm Syndrome, and I say with an abundance of caution that I feel that it is what Gao Fei is experiencing. And once again I applaud the author for her skill in letting the audience feel sympathy for Yujin despite all she has done. There is a phrase called 自作自受 (you reap what you sow) and she is the embodiment of it. A more satisfying end to this novel would be for her to rot in jail for her (wildly illegal) misdeeds and Gao Fei to seek help for the mental distress he has been put through. Haha, but I guess this wouldn't be a 'love story' then. :) :) :)

This is one that will stay in your mind after you finish reading it. It really reminds me that nothing is ever purely black and white and rather shades of grey.

Perhaps some people had less sympathy for Gao Fei in the beginning as the story started from Yujin's POV. We are privy to her emotions and motivations behind her actions. But after finishing the story, I truly felt that Gao Fei's actions were all justified Yujin was really selfish.

*warning - I really don't have much sympathy for Yujin at all. (But I guess you probably already knew)


Just imagine - somebody abducting your parents to force you into an unwilling marriage, resulting in your father being crippled, drugging you on the wedding night to ensure that the marriage is consummated. Ugh. And her father just indulges her through it all, which reeks of an entitled upbringing. And she knows how wrong she is too, hence why she can't do or say anything. His parents are justifiably terrified when she drops in unannounced to satisfy her own (selfish) desire to do her daughter-in-law duties and frankly I don't blame them. Imagine the trauma from facing the person that caused your kidnaping and your son to be entrapped in an unhappy life.

Just imagine if the genders were swapped.

And she is selfish through this whole story; even though from her POV she seems so pitiful and self-sacrificing. 🙄

Her selfishness does not stop there - no, she's simply in love with him. That's her justification. But their beginning and end was doomed - and that's 100% all on her. I don't know what she expected..

You may say that Gao Fei was simply too prideful to admit that he loved her. But from another perspective, you could say that that's perhaps more of indignation. He had been treated so unjustly and how do you admit that you love someone who was the perpetrator of it all?

Gao Fei didn't stand a chance - 2 years being loved by someone so obsessively. Of course he fell in love, who could resist someone who seemed to exist just to please you? And here is also where Yujin is so, so selfish. She's always been in bad health, she knew she would be gone one day. Why start all of this? Why be so good to Gao Fei, hoping to have a child she could leave behind after she's gone, hoping for him to someday love her back when she knew all that? Hoping that she'll stay in his memories as his white moonlight (puke) forever after (almost) sacrificing her life for him. And after turning his world upside down, she expects him to continue on normally after she's gone. c'mon seriously... it's not surprising the guy has issues after being subjected to all this. He was unlucky enough to get the queen of all the Green Tea b*tches whose methods veer into the wildly illegal side.

And all of this - was the direct results of Yujin's actions and she herself knows this. So what if Gao Fei had admitted he loved her? It would have probably changed nothing (Stockholm Syndrome). And he didn't even treat her badly. He was simply cold to her, as I imagine you would be to somebody who literally kidnapped your parents just to marry you????? 👀👀👀 like okkkkk

Up until the end, Gao Fei was the pitiful victim of Yujin's selfish 'love'. I really hope that this story is the beginning of their end and that they don't ever have to meet again, for both their sake.

I didn't shed a single tear reading their story. The tragedy here only applies to Gao Fei that poor guy. 💁🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️


5⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for ML (poor bastard), -1 for FL :))) (yes, I'm salty). <<less
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tedy2004 rated it
October 30, 2020
Status: c13
Love.. oh.. love...., This novel truly defined Stockholm Syndrome of Forced Love*.

... more>>

In all chapters, FL reaped what she sow. ML while in a relationship with Second FL* was forced to marry FL because yea she fell in love at first sight. Then with her powerful father, she told him that she wants to marry ML. Papa agreed with her s*upid daughter and kidnapped ML's family which in that time, ML's papa broke his leg, lol. So, ML married FL against his wishes while breaking up with Second FL to protect his family. After some time FL's papa died, and FL got the industry where the Second ML actually took care of the industry (* the one chosen by the wise FL's papa to marry FL initially, buut it just had to be what it is now written ^.^). After two years, in the novel ML still treats FL coldly which is normal, and the FL still claims her undying, selfish, love (Warning: bed scenes, detailed... but not that much). (Shortly*) Then FL dies because of a sickness (which I don't even know what it's called) and ML marries Second FL but ML keeps hallucinating the FL and misses her but pride and stubborn stuff. The second FL realizes in the time she has a child in her belly that ML is crazy OOC-ing *oops* and aborts the baby (seriously girl?... that child...... taken a life, dislike you too) then divorces. After that the ML stays in the house they lived in their marriage (FL*), as this was given to him as propriety and... yes, the ML keeps hallucinating, dreaming, thinking " you wouldn't treat me or the child, like Second FL, right?" well OFC, FL would say: "Gao Fei we have a child" and smile (entering too much in details). Then ML gets in a bus accident and refuses to take the chance to live from the helpers* and yea it crashes down that bus and boom, dead.

Honestly I would've made FL the second female lead mistress syndrome, and the Second FL the Female Lead. Maybe if someone would've transmigrated (before meeting ML, phew) in FL then wow, this story would've been something different, no relations to ML or Second FL, just a new start to life while being rich, xD.

The End, hope you liked it


Love isn't something that can be forced, it needs both the male's and the woman's consent, like the ML and Second FL.

Well, Stockholm Syndrome proves that WRONG because at that time there will be created feelings as a form of dependency. Which it's absolutely horrifying. Plus this: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." As a drug of ++ feelings of dependency, thinking about that person who was your kidnapper and how preciously was X treated by Y, in that period of time, ugh...

P.S Bed scenes, detailed... not that much.

If you wanna read it, no problem, it's your decision, I just put my opinion truly with soul and heart+brain.

Good day, is it not?... <<less
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Fulminata rated it
July 20, 2020
Status: Completed
I love the MC; She's an utterly selfish, passionate, blinded-by-love vilainess who pull the strings by whatever means necessary to get 'her' man, no matter what the other party might say. She loves to the point of madness, her fixation to the ML has passed the realm of being obsessed. It's hella scary, but this is exactly the kind of things that I want from reading a vilainess.

I also love the ML. He's a bastard that has his heart broken in two because of the whim of some rich... more>> kid, who can only salvaged his brittle dignity by retaliating with emotional abuse and forcibly bar the MC from the thing she want the most : his love. I could totally get where he comes from;and therefore, I couldn't exactly blame nor hate him.

This two characters are ugly, miserably fudge-up, and painfully humane. Their relationship is extremely toxic, yet surprisingly realistic. It's a portrait of a dysfunctional marriage taken into the extreme ends: I swear i've seen plenty of its reenactment in reality, although the ending might be less dramatic than this.

But since it's fictional, I LOVE seeing them hurt each others. I love the extreme regret at the end. I love how the main characters takes everything too much and bled their hands from carrying all of their spoils. I love seeing them destroy each other and themselves in a nest of their own making.

Yeah, I'm a maso and I love seeing characters suffer. Thank you. <<less
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jkmessah rated it
November 4, 2017
Status: Completed
I was not expecting that. I read the first two chapters and just had to go through Google translate to find out the rest.

I will say this now, there is a lot of pain in this story and when the tag says tragedy, they mean it. The characters were developed beautifully and the story was poignant.

You don't always treasure what you have until you lose it. For just under 15 ish chapters you get a story of loving and hating. The only story that comes to mind with similar ways... more>> of engaging you is The Mulberry Song which I also highly recommend.

Please give this a try and prepare tissues. <<less
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oobl.moob rated it
July 11, 2023
Status: --
The FL is a selfish, evil woman who trapped a man into a hellish marriage by ... more>>

taking his parents hostage.


She then drugged and r*ped him on their wedding night.

She "loved too much" my ass. She is a villainous calamity. I can accept people liking the writing and having enjoyed reading it but anyone who praises the FL or loves her for "doing anything to get her man" or for "flipping the script" by being the crazy, obsessed one instead of the man has been brainwashed by reading too many terrible books and needs to go outside.

There is nothing cute about this. I don't particularly care for Gao Fei, but I pity him for being forced into a relationship by that psychotic, immoral woman.

Books like this where the abusive party basically wins (Gao Fei ended up having true feelings for FL and went insane after she died) are so harmful and no one who does such abominable things in the name of love truly understands what love is.

Like there is no justification for her actions whatsoever. I don't give a sh*t that she loved him. SHE ASSUALTED HIM. No amount of love can excuse or erase that. She committed a crime against him and he had to just take it or who knows what her shitty dad would have done to his parents. The only tragedy here is that she didn't go to f*cking jail.

God I hate her. <<less
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K_araxx rated it
November 4, 2017
Status: Completed
During the entire read I was struggling to hold down my tears. The story was too beautiful and much to well written. The emotions that He Yujin had for Gao Fei was heartbreaking, and beautiful. To continue reading was a hard mental choice in itself. But all in all a beautiful tragedy that I can't help but love even though it brought me waterfalls of tears.
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Xuxu Nan
Xuxu Nan
November 24, 2017
Status: --
Is obsessive love really love? Is hatred really love?

... more>>

I don't know how I feel about this story.... it's disturbing. Basically the guy hated her with reason and just wanted to resist the coercion, but it seems he was moved by the devotion and forgot his first love and in the end the one he loves most is the FL.

You can destroy his life, hurt his family, destroy his love to get him. As long as you manage to force yourself on him, just be a little patient, you will treat him so well that he will madly fall for you...a little scary nah?

Yes he never reciprocated (which is fair) but he did fall for her... that's the real tragedy to me lol.

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amelyn95 rated it
October 29, 2022
Status: Completed
I love this novel. I think the author did great job at telling a story of this dysfunctional relationship. The translations are amazing too. But what I don't get is why people are hating on the ML, when he is the ONLY victim in this. He is a victim through and through, and people are mad that he hates the MC?

... more>>

He was FORCED to marry her. His parents were KIDNAPPED and his dad was MAIMED. On their wedding night, he was r*peD. He was drunk and she spiked his drinks so he sleeps with her. His life was ruined by her. She thinks that because she won't live for long, while he will, she can do anything to him. Because he will have a long life to live without her. But she forgot, no one will go unscathed after what she did. He was just a human being who was so mentally damaged he killed himself at the end


His life was hell on earth. His life was a tragedy. And it was all her fault. <<less
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Neneee rated it
July 7, 2019
Status: Completed
The story is very heartbreaking, it's definitely not something you should read before going to sleep if you wish for a peaceful sleep.

My feelings towards the FL and the ML are rather complicated.
For one, I can't agree with the way they're dealing their feelings, so I can't say that I really like them.

For example the way the FL pursues the ML. Also I can understand that the FL hurt the ML and that he believes that he hates her. But later on, when his feelings change, it feels as if he's not just punishing her for the things she has done, but also because he can't accept his change.

However I pity each and every character of the story. Starting from the FL, who longed for someone who isn't hers and was satisfied with far too little. The ML, who was never able to be true to himself. The second FL, who maybe should have known better and shouldn't have waited in the first place. All the families and friends and even the potential second ML.
And needless to say, I cried buckets.

I completely lost myself at the part, where the ML realized that he had only one picture of the FL, which he just destroyed.

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maiha-sama rated it
November 19, 2017
Status: c13
This was a great read. Tragically heartbreaking. The flow and writing was simple but beautiful and you can really see the characters develop. Considering it was only 13 chapters, the author did a great job of showing us two viewpoints and evoking feelings for them both. There are so many novels that dedicate tens of chapters but fail to elicit a sliver of pity or understanding for their characters. The only other novel that was as short and effective was probably Mulberry Song.

I didn't agree with so many decisions He... more>> Yujin and Gao Fei made. Despite that, I wanted to truly understand what drove them to make those flawed decisions.


They say "Death is a Tragedy.. But only for the Living". Gao Fei went back to his regular life and he tried his best to deceive himself into thinking this was what he wanted. The more he lived, the more boxed in he felt, more detached. I like how the details of Fei's mental illness are not revealed explicitly.. Just tidbits peppered throughout. It allows you to imagine the extent and severity of his love for Yujin and how deeply he has deceived himself. I've found his character is really memorable - the price you have to pay for being too prideful and too stubborn


I must add, the translation is clean and seamless - translator does a fab job with all her novels.

Anyway, you should read this. <<less
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October 1, 2023
Status: --
Everytime I stumble with A story were one spouse neglect his spouse, I could always takes side, but this, this made me, it changes my perspective. everyone hating on FL hating on everything the story, but I cant seems to hate FL in this story yes the way she got him was WRONG but I cant find it in me to hate her, because she knew she was wrong, she love him as much as she wronged him, she did everything, she loved him in a way a love that... more>> you will..., that I have never seen existed, he was her religion her love is crazy at the same time it makes you speechless and for the ML I really cant invalidate his feeling. if I was in his shoe i'd loathe anyone who hurt my parents, I pity him way too much because what he had experience with her is distinct, like, very wrong, in our moral this should not be happening yet he fell inlove with herr. he did. if fl's was not overflowing to point of losing rationality and if she was just a normal person this would not have happen and if ML was just a little forgiving and able to realized that life is not in our control. if they had just meet in different circumtance. however there is no what if this not some isiki story or time travel where you can undo the wrong this is life and what we have done will be what we have done no undoing just it period, this is precisely the reason why this novel was good, no plot armor when you did something u will be face with consequence. yes the ending was very trajic but at the same time very beautiful <<less
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Mangaholic rated it
November 9, 2020
Status: Completed
I think this is even more sad than the mulberry song. In the mulberry song the ML knew he was sad and grieving whereas the ML in this novel doesn't.

He refuses for the sake of his pride to accept he had fallen for the FL and this is a more poignant kind of pain. Trying and trying his absolute best to ... more>>

hate her


Knowing at the end that this is it. There aren't any allusions made to them reincarnating or having a happy ending. Its just a 'crazy' and suicidal old man comforting himself with these promises of making it all better, of changing their ending and rewriting his wrongs but we all know that the sadness thing is he can't.

He can't in the sense that

she's dead, that he's going to die

and that we as the reader are at the ending of the novel. There is feasibly no way for him to fulfil his regrets. <<less
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emi.ying rated it
August 6, 2020
Status: Completed
You know the feeling where you cry so much that you just want to rate it low because that's how you feel? As a person that doesn't cry in normal situations but cries bc of stories, tears man, tears.

This is a well written tragedy, so much that I hate its able to make me cry. I really love the character development of the MC and ml. The denial and the acceptance of the two really broke my heart.

The translator wrote the wholesome essay on the last chapter...I wish I can... more>> give you a f*cking trophy. It really made me realize a lot of things, another perspective even.

Story: 10/10

Translation: 10/10

My real feelings: 100/10 (angry bc I cried, but it's still good) <<less
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