My Wife Always Thought I Did Not Love Him


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Going back to high school, and meeting your crush once again, XiaYao this time has decided to choose an entirely different route.

{A little preview}
Before rebirth—

Xia Yao: I like you.
Zhou Du: What did you say?

After rebirth—

Zhou Du: I like you.
Xia Yao: I only see you as a classmate.
Zhou Du: ……【But that’s not what your diary said!】

Also known as 《A love affair triggered by a diary》


A car accident made Xia Yao return to his third year of high school, he finally has the opportunity to make up for everything he regrets. The mistakes that have been made can now be mended. So when Xia Yao once again meets Zhou Du, the target of his unrequited love, he decides to choose a completely different route.

If you don’t love me, then I’m willing to set you free.

However, things seem to turn out completely different than what Xia Yao expected.

Refined writing style, dramatic plot and vivid characters. This story is melodramatic, tyrannical and heart wrenching yet so sweet that it brings a dead man back. The returned Xia Yao who thought too much with little to no honest communication causes many contradictions and misunderstandings. Fortunately, the day when misunderstandings cause them to separate paves the way to a sweeter future.

Associated Names
One entry per line
Xífù Zǒng Yǐwéi Wǒ Bù ài Tā
媳妇总以为我不爱他 (重生)
Related Series
The Founder of Diabolism (2)
The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (2)
Otoko Darake no Isekai Trip ~BL wa Okotowari~ (1)
Advance Bravely (1)
Waiting For You Online (1)
Till Death Do Us Part (1)

Latest Release

Date Group Release
02/23/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c55
02/21/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c54
02/19/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c53
02/16/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c52
02/13/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c51
02/10/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c50
02/07/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c49
02/05/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c48
01/31/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c47
01/20/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c46
01/17/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c45
01/14/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c44
01/14/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c43
01/07/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c42
01/07/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c41
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18 Reviews sorted by

LadyBlue rated it
August 15, 2017
Status: c16
Premise- XiaYao & Zhou Du have been together for 7 yrs. However, Xia Yao feels like Zhou Du does not love him and decides to break up. However, both of them have a car accident when returning home. And XiaYao finds himself 7 yrs in the past, in his high school days, just before he confesses to Zhou Du.

He decides not to confess to Zhou Du this time. However, ZH finds XY's diary (and never gives it back) and is like, "your diary says you love me so why are... more>> you avoiding me!!!!!!. ZY seems to be quite tsundere lol. From the first chapter it's quite clear that ZH loves XY, however, the misunderstanding seems to be because XY kinda blackmails ZY to date him, and has always felt guilty about it. ZY seems to have a hard time expressing his emotions. This novel has quite a bit of drama with just the right amount of sweetness. I recommend it to people who like cuddly, fluffy, dramatic romances <<less
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PotatoCakes rated it
June 7, 2018
Status: Completed
This novel's premise is incredibly interesting - the rebirth scenario is set up well in the beginning. However, the whole point of rebirth is that the MC have foreknowledge of events that will occur. However, events that did not occur in the original timeline randomly appear (even though the MC's actions couldn't have possibly triggered these new events). At that point, the whole premise of rebirth was cheapened.

The characters themselves were likeable enough, nothing revolutionary. The emotional aspect was done really well, which is rare for Chinese BL novels. The... more>> ending and everything after high school felt like a pointless Korean drama. Translation quality is okay. <<less
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August 20, 2017
Status: c4
I just started reading the novel but can already grasp that a really big misunderstang is going on btwn these two. Obviously both are in love with each other in their previous life but one is too stubborn (tsundere) & the other is feeling guilty over his method of obtaining his love. Cannot wait to see how their love will progress this time around since the MC's love interest will confess first. (&Gt;_<)

Love the translation. Glad they picked this up.
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lyn rated it
November 20, 2017
Status: Completed
I MTL-ed the raws so I don't know how accurate that is. But I can say from what I read that this novel is great. It is fluffy at some part but full of angst and drama as well. So many misunderstandings and so many

parties that try to break them apart, especially.. cough.. the mother.. cough.. And they really did break up.. ╥﹏╥ It is so angsty until everything is solved at the very last chapters.

So.... happy ending.... (づ ̄ ³ ̄) づ... yeayyyy...

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Honey B
Honey B rated it
May 15, 2019
Status: c55
First, I must say, the translation was brilliant. No complaints from them. Part of why I didn't give it less stars.

Second, the story started pretty good. The sweetness between the MC and ML was cute. Loved it at first...

Then around chapter 50 the story pissed me the F*CK off!!

... more>> How are you a grown man that came from a previous life still acting so d*man naive? What was the point of him getting a second chance at life??

He got a do over and yet he still hasn't learned to communicate with the man he supposedly loves. He doesn't mention the important things allowing craploads of misunderstandings. During most of this book I kind of felt sorry for the ML because it felt like the MC wasn't even trying to help their relationship though he swore he loves the ML.


for example, the MC's mother gets sick, at the same time his estranged d*ckhead of a father shows up. But does he mention any of this to the man he so call loves? H*LL NO! Instead he suffers in silence while the ML is trying his best to be supportive, calling, visiting, cherishing the MC. I get that he was trying to better focus on his mother this life time, but the love felt so one sided that the ML was an afterthought: that's not love. Then when his parents find out he's gay, he allows them to dictate his life and so breaks up with the one man that will to support him unconditionally... WTF!!! IF YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, YOU'D RATHER LIVE A LIE?!? The MC supports his mother 100%, but his mother starts ignoring him? He accept his douche bag father's help in order to pay for medical expenses, yet she refuses to allow him to be happy?!?!

And another thing, the ML takes money from the a$$hole father who never did sh*t for him, yet refuses to tell his boyfriend he needs money, whose family would bend over backwards for him since the MC did donate bone marrow for the ML's baby sister. SERIOUSLY!?!

Not only does he break up and decide to go overseas, there is a time skip??? You mean years went by without clearing up anything?? I'm done.


I quit about Chapter 55 because I was furious. There is just so much I can take when it come to misunderstandings in stories. The MC wasn't worth my time at this point and the ML deserves better as far as I'm concerned.

But the translation was good. <<less
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earlgreyt rated it
March 28, 2019
Status: Completed
This is an angst/tragedy filled BL story that follows the rebirth of the MC through his high school years to adulthood. I liked that the struggles that the MC and ML go through are very realistic. The MC especially, as a gay person, has to confront coming out to his family, economic struggles living with his single mother, and his deep feelings of guilt and inadequacy from his previous life. His relationship with his boyfriend also goes through the stages of a pure/naive first love to the complicated issues of... more>> early adulthood.

However, I'm not a big fan of "extremely guilty/self-sacrificial/suffering-alone" type MCs. There is a huge lack of communication with the MC keeping everything inside and hidden, which contributes to waves upon waves of unending angst and self-flagellation. In his previous life, he did the chasing to the ML and gave up everything for love. Reborn with regrets in the second life, the MC instead plays the part of the person who is constantly running away and trying to make everyone else happy, instead of himself or the ML.


This makes a lot of the drama/angst feel unnecessary or dragged out. The story becomes unbalanced, weighted too heavily on the angst with hardly any fluff or humor to offset it because the MC is so completely self-defeating. He gives up very quickly on any new relationship troubles because of crippling fear that he is not good enough; the kind that thinks "I'm not good enough so I should just give up now" the moment anything happens, leaving the ML to pull all the weight towards reconciliation or clearing up misunderstandings. Furthermore, the author spends too much time describing all the problems and heavy feelings and too little time describing the resolutions or fluff, so the reader hardly gets a break from the constant arrows to the gut.

The translation group is really good, so everything read very clearly. If you like angst/endless misunderstandings and don't mind characters with zero self-worth, then you will enjoy this! <<less
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KongKwong rated it
March 2, 2019
Status: Completed
I'd give this one three and a half stars. Those endless waves of mutual misunderstandings, hesitation and inner agony were driving me craaaazy. I also feel like the story before the rebirth could've been played out better. Side characters don't have much of charisma or sense of presence. Around chapter 50 I found myself contemplating whether it worth my time to finish reading the novel.

The story had an interesting idea at the beginning but is was not progressed properly. I can't sympathize with any of the characters at any of... more>> their overly dramatic moments. Somehow it feels like I've been deceived by the author... <<less
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LazyDays rated it
August 19, 2018
Status: c29
Misunderstandings galore!

It's basically an overly-guilty/angsty time traveller X EQ-retard.

In other words, one guy has a decade of emotional baggage, and the other has zero idea on relationships.

Flangst. Angst for the first 20 chapters then fluff, surrounded by "Oh god why are you doing that you idiot character" moments.

As it is, it's it's mainly a romance story, with time travel not really having any impact except relationship wise.
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Boinkers rated it
December 10, 2017
Status: Completed
Well another good BL story. Full of fluffs. I actually wanna rate this 4.5 because im not satisfied with how the author ended the story. I did not expected the author to just end it like that.. I just wished that the author put more sidestories or extras, but sadly only done 1 side story cut into 3 parts (thats the 3 side stories you see on top). (╥_╥)

Any ways I kinda have fun reading this thou.. Thanks to the translators of this novel. Kudos to you guys~... more>> you really did a great job in translating. Im hoping for a second read once translated version is done

(๑・ω-) ~♥" <<less
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RoseAmethyst remembrance
RoseAmethyst remembrance
April 13, 2019
Status: Completed
I have a lot of gripes about this novel. The ML is only the reason why I was able to read through the entire novel and enjoy it despite my irritation with some parts. He caught my interest since the very first chapter. The ML is strikingly similar to Lan Wangji from Founder of Diabolism. I almost think of him as a modern version of LWJ. Both of them are full of surprises in their behaviors that is unexpected of their stoic disposition.

About my gripes, it started all the way... more>> from the first chapter. In a going-back-in-time type of novel, I expect any deviations from the original timeline to be the result of the time-traveling character's deliberate changes of action. What really gets on my nerves is that many of these deviations worked in the MC's favor. The biggest gamechanger being.....


The diary.

The events around this diary held the key to determining how the relationship between MC and the ML would develop and it is the diary that held the key for the ML to gain a lasting impression on the MC. Despite it's huge role in the first chapter, it's significance is never explored afterwards. The MC tries looking for it, but eventually gives up and it's existence completely fades away from the story.

This diary basically gave the MC a free pass into getting a happy ending! The MC never went through (or even needed) character development because the diary solved many of his problems in his relationship with the ML and changed his relationship with many of the characters in the story.

The lack of exploration surrounding the significance of the diary is by far the biggest disappointment in this novel.


When it comes to the MC, he's very docile, naïve, and sweet-tempered. It's cute, but this personality of his is very out of place for someone who's an older guy who carried the weight of his guilt for 7 years.

Another criticism of mine is the random drama surrounding the background characters. These random dramas were more or less deviations from the previous life and had nothing to do with the MC. The drama fades along with those characters without any real conclusion or exploration into their perspectives. It's like these deviations occurred just to create drama! UGHHH!


Wanghao is the one of them. His reactions and opinions heavily contradicts his actions in the previous life. This change in his character was never explained and just simply did not make sense.


Like many reviewers, I dislike the ending. I could barely call it an ending. It ended at such a weird place and the extras don't really make it feel any more complete.

Despite all my trash talk, I did find the read enjoyable because of the ML and how the characters had to deal with the stigma around homos*xuality which is weirdly not present in most gay novels that I've read. <<less
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erikvio rated it
February 11, 2019
Status: c50
Overall, it's pretty cute and fluffy, but the plot points grate on you after a while.

Xia Yao, a near middle-aged man with a few regrets in his life, is presented with a chance to live his life a second time starting in high school. One of his biggest insecurities is that he believes he extorted his long term partner Zhou Du into having a relationship with him. He resolves to leave ZD alone this time around, and it's up to ZD, who has a really low EQ, to chase XY.

The... more>> story has its cute moments. The annoying thing is that the plot is centered around a never-ending series of misunderstandings between the two characters as they're both pretty bad at communicating with each other. XY also has the emotional processing, problem solving skills, and coping mechanisms of a tween, not someone who's supposedly lived two lives. When he's faced with a problem, he generally just lets it happen, stresses about it for ages, and avoids/ignores it rather than take steps towards a resolution until he has no choice or it blows up in his face. He's just really passive overall, and I found it to be quite grating. <<less
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Redroses__ rated it
July 18, 2018
Status: c22
You'll be irritated by their (MC and ML) misunderstanding lol. There are a lot of misunderstanding for sure but nevertheless it's cute, fluffy and you'll just want to hug both characters :D The slow update is a pain though. Overall this story is one of my fave bl novel.
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yourheatherness1297 rated it
November 4, 2017
Status: c11

one of the most adorable bl novels ever! So much fluff! But there are also times when you just want to cry because of the MC's insecurities about he ML's feelings for him.

this is not your usual romance novel. There is so much more to this than the stereotypical boy meets boy novel.

I can't really describe it. It's better to just read it and then you'll understand.

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toya_nogo rated it
May 6, 2019
Status: --
I love it. The feeling of falling in love in someone when you were in high school is like this. Bittersweet TT

MC character is unique on his own. It's like he really is a high school student; not the person who goes back to time. Still so pure, young and innocence. ML also is a very love-sick student.

I give 5 out of 5. It's not because of the plot but because it reminds me of my puppy love when I was so young.
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binkspinx rated it
April 22, 2019
Status: c70
Giving this a 5 entirely because I rlly appreciate the translator.

Storywise, it's 3/5. I like how the plot was initiated. I'm not gonna lie I was rlly hooked with chap 1. Every chapter after that got me curious about what the next one will be and I rlly appreciate that feeling... That's until the plot gets repetitive and unoriginal. I got tired of it midway. It's prolly my fault since I've expected a lot from the first chap. It ended as if the first chap and the last was two... more>> entirely different plot line lol

Should have rated it 2/5 but the story was still great despite the plot regression. I'm not satisfied enough tho. All in all, I still recommend this. Just an advice to future readers: Don't expect much from the first chap. <<less
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Fluffyb rated it
March 21, 2019
Status: c67
Personally, I really enjoyed this story. The chapters aren't to too long or excessive in detail and even though there is a lot of misunderstanding between zhou du and xia yao, it's still sweet and fluffy
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January 13, 2019
Status: c30

The prologue is enough to make me want to read it or buy it if we're talking about novel (if only I can read Chinese).

... more>> The progress is fast too, not too complicated. The MC is abit depressing at first. Tho after a while, the development of the characters are questionable imo.

However, I still want to read it till finish.


The characters development re still questionable to me. It's like they dont change from high school hormone brain to working adult thinking.

The 1st chapter where the originals are arguing is much ore intriguing to me. That chapter was the one made me to read this. But after chapter 50s, I dont feel to read it again. It's shoujo romance but with male on it. Very very..... plain reading.

Maybe if the author doesnt make MC to travel back, instead trying to do the best in orignal timeline, it'd garner much ore points to read.

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ikitty03 rated it
December 26, 2017
Status: Completed
The author need do its research. If your writing a story in year 2008; there no ipad. ipad came in year 2010.
The story is good... but...I wish there where more or it could have been better. Mainly the story is about Zhou Du love for Xia Yao. XiaYao has relive his life and of course he change... more>> his future. His lover Zhou Du personality is different bcuz he's honest toward his love for Xia Yao. I think in Xia Yao prevlife never believe Zhou Du love him. He probably wasn't straight forward and he didn't read Xia Yao diary. The story is tell summary of their life. When I mean summary I mean quick summary.

There a lot of star taken off. This my reason I dislike the story. 1st not a lot story about them. 2nd doesnt show s*x scene 3rd doesn't tell reason why they really love each other. 4th The author never tell us what in the dairy <<less
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