My Wife Always Thought I Did Not Love Him


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A car accident made Xia Yao return to his third year of high school, he finally has the opportunity to make up for everything he regrets. The mistakes that have been made can now be mended. So when Xia Yao once again meets Zhou Du, the target of his unrequited love, he decides to choose a completely different route.

If you don’t love me, then I’m willing to set you free.

However, things seem to turn out completely different than what Xia Yao expected.

Before rebirth—

Xia Yao: I like you.

Zhou Du: What did you say?

After rebirth—

Zhou Du: I like you.

Xia Yao: I only see you as a classmate.

Zhou Du: ……【But that’s not what your diary said!】

Also known as 《A love affair triggered by a diary》

Associated Names
One entry per line
Xífù Zǒng Yǐwéi Wǒ Bù ài Tā
媳妇总以为我不爱他 (重生)
Related Series
The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (3)
The Founder of Diabolism (2)
Otoko Darake no Isekai Trip ~BL wa Okotowari~ (1)
President Wife is A Man (1)
Didn’t Love You Enough (1)
The Path of the Cannon Fodder’s Counterattack (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. [BL] Completed Danmei
  2. Best Yaois
  3. (BL) The Scum Gong
  4. Various Transmigration/Rebirth

Latest Release

Date Group Release
03/27/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c70 (end)
03/25/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c69
03/23/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c68
03/21/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c67
03/19/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c66
03/17/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c65
03/15/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c64
03/13/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c63
03/10/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c62
03/06/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c61
03/04/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c60
03/03/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c59
03/01/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c58
02/27/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c57
02/25/19 Exiled Rebels Scanlations c56
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New Shrike1978 rated it
May 13, 2021
Status: Completed
I did like this story, but I have a quibble. (I'll get to that later) This is definitely a dog's blood story. Poor MC tortures himself trying to do things right the second time around. The couple does develop their feelings naturally, tripping over each other and still moving towards each other. It shows the MC isn't a bad person that he knows what he did wrong the first time and changes. It ... more>>

was so freaking awful when MC's biological father blackmailed him into leaving the ML. I cried.

You want to cuddle the MC he's so fragile trying to do the right thing and so convinced he's the only one who can't get over his lover. For a nice dose of angst between fluff, this story does well.

My quibble.

The author should stop the story after the MC and ML get together again. The whole part where MC goes through hell because his adopted son's mother shows up wanting him back. Plus unrealistic. MC couldn't bring a baby back into the country unless he was the official guardian of the kid. I also cannot believe anyone who loved that little boy so much would just let an absent parent take him to another country without fighting more. You just don't.

The only reason I took off one star. I always stop reading before the last plot arc. Otherwise it's great! <<less
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New bingpupschewtoy rated it
May 11, 2021
Status: c36
MC is supposed to be reborn from an adult to a high schooler but he’s got all the emotional maturity of a grade schooler. The main couple gets together so fast (maybe around 20+ chapters in?) and from then on all their problems are based on miscommunication basically. I thought there would be more resistance to MC and ML getting together considering MC has all the baggage of his first life, but it seems like MC just... forgot. It’s almost like you’re reading a regular old high school webnovel. What’s... more>> the point of rebirth if the MC isn’t using the knowledge of their first life to make different and better choices? ML at least makes some attempt at communication considering he’s a kid in high school, but MC, who’s mentally an adult, pretty much just sits back and lets everything happen to him. I get being shy but he is seriously so passive. He’s like a genderbent version of the stereotypical female MCs from those types of boring BG romance novels. <<less
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LadyBlue rated it
August 15, 2017
Status: c16
Premise- XiaYao & Zhou Du have been together for 7 yrs. However, Xia Yao feels like Zhou Du does not love him and decides to break up. However, both of them have a car accident when returning home. And XiaYao finds himself 7 yrs in the past, in his high school days, just before he confesses to Zhou Du.

He decides not to confess to Zhou Du this time. However, ZH finds XY's diary (and never gives it back) and is like, "your diary says you love me so why are... more>> you avoiding me!!!!!!. ZY seems to be quite tsundere lol. From the first chapter it's quite clear that ZH loves XY, however, the misunderstanding seems to be because XY kinda blackmails ZY to date him, and has always felt guilty about it. ZY seems to have a hard time expressing his emotions. This novel has quite a bit of drama with just the right amount of sweetness. I recommend it to people who like cuddly, fluffy, dramatic romances <<less
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Honey B
Honey B rated it
May 15, 2019
Status: c55
First, I must say, the translation was brilliant. No complaints from them. Part of why I didn't give it less stars.

Second, the story started pretty good. The sweetness between the MC and ML was cute. Loved it at first...

Then around chapter 50 the story pissed me the F*CK off!!

... more>> How are you a grown man that came from a previous life still acting so d*man naive? What was the point of him getting a second chance at life??

He got a do over and yet he still hasn't learned to communicate with the man he supposedly loves. He doesn't mention the important things allowing craploads of misunderstandings. During most of this book I kind of felt sorry for the ML because it felt like the MC wasn't even trying to help their relationship though he swore he loves the ML.


for example, the MC's mother gets sick, at the same time his estranged dickhead of a father shows up. But does he mention any of this to the man he so call loves? H*LL NO! Instead he suffers in silence while the ML is trying his best to be supportive, calling, visiting, cherishing the MC. I get that he was trying to better focus on his mother this life time, but the love felt so one sided that the ML was an afterthought: that's not love. Then when his parents find out he's gay, he allows them to dictate his life and so breaks up with the one man that will to support him unconditionally... WTF!!! IF YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, YOU'D RATHER LIVE A LIE?!? The MC supports his mother 100%, but his mother starts ignoring him? He accept his douche bag father's help in order to pay for medical expenses, yet she refuses to allow him to be happy?!?!

And another thing, the ML takes money from the a$$hole father who never did sh*t for him, yet refuses to tell his boyfriend he needs money, whose family would bend over backwards for him since the MC did donate bone marrow for the ML's baby sister. SERIOUSLY!?!

Not only does he break up and decide to go overseas, there is a time skip??? You mean years went by without clearing up anything?? I'm done.


I quit about Chapter 55 because I was furious. There is just so much I can take when it come to misunderstandings in stories. The MC wasn't worth my time at this point and the ML deserves better as far as I'm concerned.

But the translation was good. <<less
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PotatoCakes rated it
June 7, 2018
Status: Completed
This novel's premise is incredibly interesting - the rebirth scenario is set up well in the beginning. However, the whole point of rebirth is that the MC have foreknowledge of events that will occur. However, events that did not occur in the original timeline randomly appear (even though the MC's actions couldn't have possibly triggered these new events). At that point, the whole premise of rebirth was cheapened.

The characters themselves were likeable enough, nothing revolutionary. The emotional aspect was done really well, which is rare for Chinese BL novels. The... more>> ending and everything after high school felt like a pointless Korean drama. Translation quality is okay. <<less
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ike_00000 rated it
June 29, 2019
Status: Completed
The premise was okay, like the idea of "I felt like I pressured my bf into a relationship so when I go back in time I won't do it again". However, it's still hard to believe that MC would think ML didn't like him after staying with him for so long???? This story is full of unnecessary angst.

And here is my biggest problem with this story.

Basically, I really can't like MC. He's such a typical weak, naive and helpless bottom that it is really very irritating. He's seriously throwing the... more>> ML around as if his feelings don't matter, one-sidedly pressing his feelings on him and thus causing all sorts of unnecessary misunderstandings. Honestly, the whole time, it's clear that ML really likes him but MC just sat there waiting to be chased!! Very selfishly not considering ML's feelings basically at all. Does he even like him??? Or just the idea of him?? Or just the "him" from the past life!!

And, of course, the parents suck. But all the commenters have covered that sufficiently. <<less
10 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
August 20, 2017
Status: c4
I just started reading the novel but can already grasp that a really big misunderstang is going on btwn these two. Obviously both are in love with each other in their previous life but one is too stubborn (tsundere) & the other is feeling guilty over his method of obtaining his love. Cannot wait to see how their love will progress this time around since the MC's love interest will confess first. (&Gt;_<)

Love the translation. Glad they picked this up.
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Chichi rated it
November 4, 2020
Status: c30
This novel would be a third of its size if the characters communicated.

Especially the main character. Y'know. The one that transmigrated. And is an adult twice over. And should know how to open his mouth and say things to his boyfriend that loves him instead of pretending to be a jackass.

How does that make you feel? I know how it makes me feel. *Starts banging head on the wall*
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btsdynamiteAUG21 rated it
September 17, 2020
Status: Completed
This is a story about shou MC broke up with the gong ML and went after rebirth to remake his choices.

Although the MC rejects the ML over and over after rebirth, neither of them were scums from the past or present lives. They are just both naive, especially the ML.

MC is still willful and became clear headed after rebirth, but he also became a coward. I love that how he tried to remake his own regrets which he gave up in his past life just to chase after ML. ML... more>> is so naive and pure. Before rebirth, he was just submissive to the love MC gave him but after Mc's rebirth, he now was the one chasing him and being the one having a force to the relationship. He became sly and wicked too in bed.

Before or after rebirth, I think the sole problem was miscommunication. Before rebirth, MC didnt care abt anything as long he is beside ML and they didnt talk abt their mutual feelings too.

I think the ML really love MC in the past life but MC thinks that ML is just going with the flow because he (MC) just making him do it or just leading the way...

So maybe thats why the MC wanted to break up with him because he became aware that he thought that it was just him doing the "loving" not the other party doing it the other way around. Or maybe MC didnt hear any words of confirmation from their years of relationship like "i like you" or "i love you", until before the accident.


But after rebirth,

WangHao (ML's friend) said that ML is just not good at words and actions. In short, he's clumsy and impulsive. So thats why he just accepted MC.


I really detest MC's family. I know his mom want the best for him by undergoing through "normal" way of life but I just thought she was just a selfish hag saying being gay is a "sickness"... not to mention his fcking scumbag dad, it was from him which had started the plot's real dramarama...

The breathe of relief I released after they revealed Xiayangyang was not biologically related to MC.. damn. The way the author just wanna sneakily included a postbackground drama on how the MC and ML gonna have a child... At first I thought it's normal for adoption. But then there's Xiayao's profile with father/son relationship.... my heart FELL on that. I mean its nothing wrong but LMAO the author is so clever.

The way the drama is pointly portrayed every scene is just glorious. And I cried at some chapters my heart ached for both of them.

The notion of the story takes that love really is unpredictable. I love that portrayal in this novel, but it just hurts me so bad that they had gone so much drama and misunderstandings that were forced upon them by their peers and family.

Another, why was the H (s*x) scenes were cut? like it tells to leave it on my imagination TT neways imagination is already doomed from the start. o.o

And I think it ended too abrupt?

They just met with the child coming back then..... end? Cant they have an ending with just MC and ML on them? wuhuhujuu


I was still hung up on the story between Wanghao and zhang yang... there were not even extras. TT <<less
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earlgreyt rated it
March 28, 2019
Status: Completed
This is an angst/tragedy filled BL story that follows the rebirth of the MC through his high school years to adulthood.

I liked that the struggles that the MC and ML go through are very realistic. The MC especially, as a gay person, has to confront coming out to his family, economic struggles living with his single mother, and his deep feelings of guilt and inadequacy from his previous life. His relationship with his boyfriend also goes through the stages of a pure/naive first love to the complicated issues of early... more>> adulthood.

However, I'm not a big fan of "extremely guilty/self-sacrificial/suffering-alone" type MCs.

There is a huge lack of communication with the MC keeping everything inside and hidden, which contributes to waves upon waves of unending angst and self-flagellation. In his previous life, he did the chasing to the ML and gave up everything for love.

Reborn with regrets in the second life, the MC instead plays the part of the person who is constantly running away and trying to make everyone else happy, instead of himself or the ML.


This makes a lot of the drama/angst feel unnecessary or dragged out. The story becomes unbalanced, weighted too heavily on the angst with hardly any fluff or humor to offset it because the MC is so completely self-defeating.

He gives up very quickly on any new relationship troubles because of crippling fear that he is not good enough; the kind that thinks "I'm not good enough so I should just give up now" the moment anything happens, leaving the ML to pull all the weight towards reconciliation or clearing up misunderstandings.

Furthermore, the author spends too much time describing all the problems and heavy feelings and too little time describing the resolutions or fluff, so the reader hardly gets a break from the constant arrows to the gut.

The translation group is really good, so everything read very clearly. If you like angst/endless misunderstandings and don't mind characters with zero self-worth, then you will enjoy this! <<less
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lyn rated it
November 20, 2017
Status: Completed
I MTL-ed the raws so I don't know how accurate that is. But I can say from what I read that this novel is great. It is fluffy at some part but full of angst and drama as well. So many misunderstandings and so many

parties that try to break them apart, especially.. cough.. the mother.. cough.. And they really did break up.. ╥﹏╥ It is so angsty until everything is solved at the very last chapters.

So.... happy ending.... (づ ̄ ³ ̄) づ... yeayyyy...

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RoseAmethyst remembrance
RoseAmethyst remembrance
April 13, 2019
Status: Completed
I have a lot of gripes about this novel. The only reason why I was able to read through the entire novel was because I liked the ML. The ML is like a modern version of Lan Wangji from Founder of Diabolism. Both of them are full of surprises in their behaviors that is unexpected of their stoic disposition. ML always had a way of pulling me back in whenever I got turned off.

... more>>

There was an implication that the ML from the past life actually liked the MC who believed the opposite


By logic, any deviances that occurs should have been the result of the transmigrater's interference. Yet, there were several unexplained deviances that couldn't possibly been influenced by the MC.


MC's father approached the MC when the MC never even got to lean of his identity in the canon.

Supposedly he wanted to take responsibility as a parent but I suspect his real reason has to do with his current wife's failed pregnancies. However, these failed pregnancies couldn't possibly been caused by the MC.

In the end, it seems like this character appeared simply to create unnecessary drama. The father was homophobic and caused friction in between the MC and ML.


Wanghao is the one of them. He was homophobic and bullied the MC in his previous life, but in this life, he was supportive of their relationship and became close friends with the MC.

This change in his character was never explained and just simply did not make sense.

What really gets on my nerves is that many of these deviations worked in the MC's favor. The biggest gamechanger being.....


The diary.

The events around this diary held the key to determining how the relationship between MC and the ML would develop.

Despite it's huge role in the first chapter, it's significance is never explored afterwards.

The first thing that the MC tried to do was to alter the event related to the diary. He seeks out the place where the diary was held at the time only to find out it wasn't there.

Why did the whereabouts of the diary changed even before the MC transmigrated?

This little deviation from the original timeline conveniently resolved most of the problems between the MC and ML.

The lack of exploration surrounding the significance of the diary is by far the biggest disappointment in this novel.


When it comes to the MC, he's very docile, naïve, and sweet-tempered. It's cute, but this personality of his is very out of place for someone who's an older guy who carried the weight of his guilt for 7 years.
Another criticism of mine is the random drama surrounding the background characters. These random dramas were more or less deviations from the previous life and had nothing to do with the MC. The drama fades along with those characters without any real conclusion or exploration into their perspectives. It's like these deviations occurred just to create drama! UGHHH!

Like many reviewers, I dislike the ending. I could barely call it an ending. It ended at such a weird place and the extras don't really make it feel any more complete.

Despite all my tr*sh talk, I did find the read enjoyable because of the ML and how the characters had to deal with the stigma around homosexuality which is weirdly not present in most gay novels that I've read. <<less
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KongKwong rated it
March 2, 2019
Status: Completed
I'd give this one three and a half stars. Those endless waves of mutual misunderstandings, hesitation and inner agony were driving me craaaazy. I also feel like the story before the rebirth could've been played out better. Side characters don't have much of charisma or sense of presence. Around chapter 50 I found myself contemplating whether it worth my time to finish reading the novel.

The story had an interesting idea at the beginning but is was not progressed properly. I can't sympathize with any of the characters at any of... more>> their overly dramatic moments. Somehow it feels like I've been deceived by the author... <<less
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LazyDays rated it
August 19, 2018
Status: c29
Misunderstandings galore!

It's basically an overly-guilty/angsty time traveller X EQ-ret*rd.

In other words, one guy has a decade of emotional baggage, and the other has zero idea on relationships.

Flangst. Angst for the first 20 chapters then fluff, surrounded by "Oh god why are you doing that you idiot character" moments.

As it is, it's it's mainly a romance story, with time travel not really having any impact except relationship wise.
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amruta rated it
December 24, 2019
Status: Completed
Would have given 4 stars if this did not have rebirth

No complaints about the translation. It’s great.

I pity the ML in this story. It’s clear that the ML loved the MC in their first life. Even if the ML never said it.

The MC learns nothing from his rebirth. He decides to be a good son and not force the ML into a relationship this time around. They still end up together. So far so good. But what does the MC do? He still takes decisions that affect both the MC... more>> and ML on his own. MC never communicates clearly with the ML which obviously leads to misunderstandings. This would have been fine if the MC was not reborn. But he was. Which makes me think he did not deserve his second chance at all. <<less
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Melange rated it
May 19, 2020
Status: Completed
Ugh, this was pretty bad. It's not very well written and the transitions come out of nowhere. The change in setting sometimes makes no sense. For instance, one second they're in the bedroom and the next moment they're on the balcony going back into the room??? Or MC's going to talk to someone's dad and all of the sudden they're in the car to the hospital...

Furthermore MC acts NOWHERE NEAR his age. Wanna watch MC regress from 30 to 13? Well you're in for a treat!

Other reviewers mentioned this is... more>> a painful read and yeah, they're right. It was painful. If anything, just read the first and last 10 chapters of the novel to save yourself a lot of unnecessary angst and keep your brain cells. <<less
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ehkilis rated it
June 27, 2019
Status: Completed
First off

I really hate the parents, specifically the MCs. Like seriously, what right did the mom have to take him away from his BF? NO. DANG. RIGHT. SMH

I also hate the MC he has no backbone and no brain.
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erikvio rated it
February 11, 2019
Status: c50
Overall, it's pretty cute and fluffy, but the plot points grate on you after a while.

Xia Yao, a near middle-aged man with a few regrets in his life, is presented with a chance to live his life a second time starting in high school. One of his biggest insecurities is that he believes he extorted his long term partner Zhou Du into having a relationship with him. He resolves to leave ZD alone this time around, and it's up to ZD, who has a really low EQ, to chase XY.

The... more>> story has its cute moments. The annoying thing is that the plot is centered around a never-ending series of misunderstandings between the two characters as they're both pretty bad at communicating with each other. XY also has the emotional processing, problem solving skills, and coping mechanisms of a tween, not someone who's supposedly lived two lives. When he's faced with a problem, he generally just lets it happen, stresses about it for ages, and avoids/ignores it rather than take steps towards a resolution until he has no choice or it blows up in his face. He's just really passive overall, and I found it to be quite grating. <<less
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Boinkers rated it
December 10, 2017
Status: Completed
Well another good BL story. Full of fluffs. I actually wanna rate this 4.5 because im not satisfied with how the author ended the story. I did not expected the author to just end it like that.. I just wished that the author put more sidestories or extras, but sadly only done 1 side story cut into 3 parts (thats the 3 side stories you see on top). (╥_╥)

Any ways I kinda have fun reading this thou.. Thanks to the translators of this novel. Kudos to you guys~... more>> you really did a great job in translating. Im hoping for a second read once translated version is done

(๑・ω-) ~♥" <<less
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yourheatherness1297 rated it
November 4, 2017
Status: c11

one of the most adorable bl novels ever! So much fluff! But there are also times when you just want to cry because of the MC's insecurities about he ML's feelings for him.

this is not your usual romance novel. There is so much more to this than the stereotypical boy meets boy novel.

I can't really describe it. It's better to just read it and then you'll understand.

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Yourentirefamilyisafujoshi rated it
April 1, 2021
Status: --
I don't even know what to say.

I want to cry.

In a very bad way.

I do not understand how anyone can like this story, but to each their own, I suppose. As for why I don't like it?

... more>>

THE MALE LEAD DESERVES BETTER. This has got to be the worst MC I have ever seen. Just the absolute worst. He's timid and cowardly, and his love, if put positively is "realistic", but otherwise, it's weak. His love is weak. He never fought for the male lead. Before being reborn he blackmailed the guy into being with him, but was too s*upid to realize that A PERSON WILL NOT STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU FOR SEVEN YEARS JUST BECAUSE HE'S GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR SAVING HIS SISTER SO MANY YEARS AGO. And the worst part about that is that he has the guts to break things up because he was "guilty". Why weren't you guilty when you used the fact that you saved his younger sister just to f*ck him, at least once in the SEVEN YEARS THAT HAVE PASSED? By the time he's reborn he's oh wow big surprise, still an idiot. I love misunderstandings as much as the next sad*st but oh this one just made me so mad. I still remember being livid even though I read this so long ago.


Also, the ending was really rushed, and s*upid. A testament to the MC's s*upidity when he just


handed over his adopted child to the person who had initially abandoned said child.


Dude, get either a backbone, a brain, or a conscience. For the sake of your pitiful lover's sanity, I suggest you get all of them.




Sorry for the long review. Good translation though, and of course, the above was all personal, no offense to anyone :> <<less
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natsumeyuki rated it
September 12, 2020
Status: Completed
It was a pretty nice story. There were moments when I actually had trouble breathing because it was so heartbreaking. I just wish there were a few extra chapters about their later life and a few more about their past life.
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