My Beloved, Whom I Desire to Kill

Description

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※ This work depicts s*xual consent and coercion through hierarchy, power dynamics, psychological manipulation, and deception. Reader discretion is advised.

※ This work takes place in a time before the publication of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Terminology and depiction of mental illnesses in the work may differ from current understandings and reality.

When the mister I love falls asleep,

The mister I want to kill awakens.

Giselle is in love with Edwin, the man who rescued her from the battlefield and raised her.

However, a romance between him, the most noble in the land, and her, the most despised, is impossible.

No matter how hard she tries to give up, her heart keeps leaning towards his kindness, until one night…

“I love you, Giselle.”

“Y-You mean… as a w-woman…?”

“What else could it be? Do you think I’d do this if I loved you like a daughter?”

Their love feels like a dream come true, but then…

“I’m truly sorry, but this childish game is over.”

His love was all a lie.

You thought of me as your mister, so you let me do whatever I want.

It was disgusting. He only picked you up and raised you like a dog.

The mister has a split personality,

And Giselle is toyed with by “Lorenz,” the personality of the enemy he killed.

“What if I kill your precious ‘Mister’ and take over this body to love you?”

“I don’t need the love of a leech like you. I’ll kill you.”

“I love you. I love you, sir, please love me too.”

“Giselle, I don’t want to lose you. Not like this.”

Edwin, unable to see the child he raised as a woman.

Giselle, unable to see him as anything but a man.

And Lorenz, revelling in their discord.

Three desires that cannot coexist collide,

ultimately leading to disaster…

“You won. Are you satisfied now?”

As this catastrophic melodrama called desire reaches its climax,

Who kills in the name of love?

Associated Names
One entry per line
사랑하는, 죽이고픈
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
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Trapped in a Dungeon with The Boss Monster (1)
Confined Together with the Horror Game’s Male Lead (1)
Resetting Lady (1)
Black Dwarf (1)
One Hundred Nights with the Devil (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Intelligent FLs
  2. Cunning, Savage, Ruthless Dreamboat of a FL
  3. Rotten apples
  4. just because
  5. military men

Latest Release

Date Group Release
12/09/25 BornToBeNovel c124
12/07/25 BornToBeNovel c123
12/05/25 BornToBeNovel c122
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c121
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c120
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c119
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c118
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c117
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c116
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c115
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c114
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c113
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c112
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c111
12/03/25 BornToBeNovel c110
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Review
1 Review


sfsakana
sfsakana
Jan 21, 2026
Status: Completed
The story is unique, as it’s not easy to write a split personality character with proper character development. Somehow it seems like a triangle love romance, but as usual, Libenia’s story writing skill is top notch. How all the scenes cross paths, the revealed truth, thrilling moments, strong tension, and crazy scenes — it’s so well written!

As the setting is war time, there’s a lot of cruelty of war and humanity described. If you’re just looking for something sweet, this is definitely not for you. And there’s a large age... more>> gap between ML & FL. The story didn’t mention exactly the age difference,
Spoiler

but I’d assume at least 10 years apart.

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The first part of the story is anxious and painful to read, focusing on FL Giselle’s unrequited love and all the hardship she needs to go through. But trust me, the whole part 1 is required for Giselle to grow from a young, naive girl into a woman.

Spoiler

In the 2nd part of the story, she evolves into a strong and smart woman, which is totally ML Edwin’s type, and that’s where the fun part starts.

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ML Edwin is truly the exquisite perfect gentleman. Once he falls in love, he’s truly the best lover and husband. Sadly, such a perfect gentleman comes with a split personality totally opposite of him. The split personality is well written;
Spoiler

it feels like reading a story with a 2nd ML in a triangle love.

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I was reading directly on RIDI with translation, so I could only understand about 80% of the content. Thank you to the translator who picked this up! I think the low rating could be due to the slow pace at the beginning of the story, plus it’s really quite anxious and painful to read in the first part. <<less
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