My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons

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Three years after entering the palace, Yongning Palace’s Beautiful Lady Yan Shu, has still never met the Emperor.

The palace full of concubines tried to win his favour, only she, immersed in a melon eating system, has no time to spare for him.

[The heir of Marquis Lin Wu isn’t his son, tsk tsk.] [A high ranking official in the conservative Ministry of Rites is unexpectedly taking part in a taboo relationship with his own daughter-in-law!!!] [Grand Princess Yi Ma’s prince consort has unexpectedly raised several concubines outside!]

Everyday is filled with gossip, who would still remember who the Emperor was?

How would she know that one day, she actually ate a shockingly big melon——

[The iron-blooded Emperor who seems cold and aloof on the surface actually suffers from an unspeakable unmentionable disease.]

Yan Shu, “!!! No wonder he never enters the harem!”

Wait…

There seems to be something wrong somewhere… then what did she enter the palace for?!!

The new Emperor, Yu Wen Lan, has two secrets.

Since his ascension to the throne, he has gradually lost his male functions; yet at the same time, he can read minds.

Getting used to seeing their false words and hypocritical faces every day, he grew all the more unfeeling.

That was, until one day, he heard a special heart’s voice——

[Isn’t this a f*cking waste of natural resources?]

Yu Wen Lan paused, narrowing his eyes to look in the direction of a delicately pretty and pure looking girl.

[God, for you to make such a handsome hunk unable to XX, doesn’t your conscience hurt at all?] [Is there any way to revive it???] [Ten-fold complete rejuvenation of spring pill, restoration of a man of character pill; if those don’t work, then have you tried return of the yang acupuncture?]

Yu Wen Lan, “???”

Until she ascended to the position of Empress, Yan Shu also didn’t know how she had jumped unreasonably on the Emperor’s bottom line repeatedly, yet had jumped straight in, becoming the first person to be in his heart.

Perhaps, it was just her good luck.

Associated Names
One entry per line
朕的爱妃只想吃瓜
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
The Emperor Fights the Harem for Me (3)
The Imperial Concubine Just Wants To Be a Salted Fish Every Day (2)
Noble Wife Wants No Love (2)
Why Harem Intrigue When You Can Just Raise a Dog Instead (2)
I Became A Melon Exposing Expert In The Entertainment Industry (2)
After Transmigrating into a Book, My Father Emperor Could Hear My Inner Voice (2)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Ancient romance 1
  2. BEST BOOKS I'VE READ SO FAR. gs
  3. What Is Inside Your Mind?
  4. Family/ML mind-reads the female protagonist
  5. Imperial theme [BG]

Latest Release

Date Group Release
11/30/23 mio’s corner c9
11/13/23 mio’s corner c8
11/11/23 mio’s corner c7
11/09/23 mio’s corner c6
05/10/23 mio’s corner c5
12/07/22 mio’s corner c4
11/30/22 mio’s corner c3
11/23/22 mio’s corner c2
11/16/22 mio’s corner c1
Write a Review
17 Reviews sorted by


luhyung
New luhyung rated it
July 13, 2024
Status: Completed
The best way to describe this novel is the vibes when you and the girls have tea time and there's this one girl who has all the gossip and each one is just explosive and she occasionally talks about the troubles with her man. It may get repetitive for some but for others it's just a great time overall.

Also, I disagree with the reviewers that spoke about poor lgbt representation. Unless I'm remembering wrong ... more>>
Spoiler

the initial issue wasn't that the official was gay but he intentionally made his wife his beard and as convenient labour to take care of his parents and children that he had with her, in the countryside, while he enjoyed life in the capital. And the later part about child trafficking and child prostitution (forgive me if I'm wrong but I read the raws) was for the drama.

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Sure it could have simply been a straight man but why is it an issue when it's a gay man??

And the bit about the inters*x person wasn't really about inters*x but
Spoiler

the foreign king artificially created the inters*x girls for personal pleasure and conveniently dirty the blood of the royal family (top female bottom male)

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I will admit that the author shouldn't have called the inters*x girls 人妖, which seems to be a derogatory term for trans girls. But I don't understand the historical context so I can't tell if it a decision made with the plot in mind or out of hate. Then again, I read the raws so I can't tell if they were normal people who were made inters*x by drugs or if they were magically created out of a research lab, but regardless is this not a disgusting thing to do?? In all honesty, if you know you'll be offended by the lgbt representation in Chinese novels, especially historical ones, it might be better for you to stick to western novels. <<less
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natsume_serenade
natsume_serenade rated it
December 26, 2022
Status: Completed
You need to be a very specific reader to like this: first, you must be tired of all the scheming-making-your-head-hurt harem striving for favor, the trope of love wins in the end and the plot being the protagonist suffering and struggling through life and death just to experience a bit of love... Yeah, this is not it. In fact, you must be looking for a romance between an interesting, odd female lead and a straight man of steel, where their love buds very very slowly but you still get to... more>> see glimpses of what's going on. And comedy, so very much comedy, and slice of life.

This is a novel that lasts 166 chapters, the romance is like 30% and the gossip/humor is 70%. As a reader who gives herself some rights, I believe it is healthy and alright to just skip some bits. You don't really need to read the cooking, her recipes, her drooling over the food, or how she's dressed, and instead of getting bored reading those bits, just skip it and be happy! If you skip those parts that make it boring and continue following the story, you will find that it's a good story to pass the time and have some laughs.

This was by far, one of the funniest and most non-stressing novels ever, taking into account that it actually takes place in the harem where people should be fighting each other for favor.

And I think this was one of my favorite pairings ever because it didn't feel like the male lead was pampering her, but they were really like a grown-up couple where each had a set of ideas, goals, and lifestyles and they just happened to enjoy being and having fun together.

Really give this story a chance!

Edit: Damn, reading the reviews, I honestly didn't remember it had so much h*mophobia. Sucks. Consider this your TW. <<less
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7starkiller99
7starkiller99 rated it
November 21, 2022
Status: Completed
Novel not recommended to read.

The heart of this novel is 3-5 parts:

1) Mc’s melon eating system activates and she gets unlimited OP gossip about the horrible evil Chinese people (mostly scum men and random inters*x villainous pe*verted Eastern Japanese)

... more>> 2) ML Emperor reads Mc’s Mind and is shocked! He orders his useless Emperor guard to investigate and then discovers that MC is correct. (Later on he just trusts her and always effortlessly catches the villains.)

3) Shocking reveal! (MC goes by a Pen Name and writes stories about the evil people revealing the truth with a fictional ending)

4) A New Scum Appears! Early half of novel up to around chapter 40 is evil concubines of emperor and later half is more general evil scum. (They are all vicious people who get taken down).

5) Short Lull in story where ML emperor is concerned about being impotent until he gets cured. This is later replaced by s*x between MC and ML, and then finally MC being pregnant. Also MC being obsessed with food! This is actually half food novel where the author fills paragraphs describing food conditions in order to make more money (higher word count = money.)

Why Not To Read:

There’s too many fodder scum to go into details and a lot of punishments are boring. For the most part the plot follows the same cycle of MC discovers something, then ML orders someone dragged away and tortured, and then resolution. The romance is extremely fleeting and the ML is less than ideal, mostly being a resentful non-communicative scumbag who didn’t care about his harem with an equally scummy Queen Mother. Later on there’s a romance between Queen Mother and Qi scholar that is dragged out way too much and really dampens any sort of plot in the novel. There’s very weak comedy. Most of it is ML being shocked, and MC indulging in food. There’s considerable lack of reason to keep reading especially after MC and ML get together due to the fullness of the story. There’s a tiny pinch of Chinese racism but that’s how all their authors write ancient emperor times. There’s way more moral double standards going around, but that’s mainly due to the female MC and male ML not seeing eye to eye on gender concepts. The ML rarely comes off as a great person until much later when he’s more accommodating toward the MC. He never apologizes towards her once.

-900Trillion/10 Bad. <<less
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AkaneApples
AkaneApples rated it
January 28, 2024
Status: c45
I'm conflicted since I love the story for how entertaining it is, but the poor lgbt representation is pretty tasteless. I think the author is still working through some misguided & old fashioned prejudices & it really shows through their work.

The MC states pretty clearly at one point that just being gay & hiding it can't be exposed as a crime, so she wasn't going to say anything even though it was unfair to the gay old man's clueless wife. She later exposed things because his melon suddenly became a... more>> case of child s*x trafficking. The other ringleader was an inters*x person, but this is just mentioned off-handedly by her op gossip system & the focus is always on them being evil for abducting children. Given that the plot involves all the morally corrupt officials getting exposed by the MC, I think the author realized that they couldn't justify dragging someone out of the closet unless they had committed very heinous crimes. Hence the sudden change to touching children, because we can all agree that's horrible. The author may have subconsciously played into that s*upid stereotype that all gays = predators trying to make the children gay, but I see at least a sliver of awakening & it leaves me both sad & hopeful they can make more progress in changing their prejudices. <<less
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hastingsj
hastingsj rated it
November 23, 2023
Status: c93
I actually did enjoy this and would recommend it, but maybe drop it by ch 80. Its a bit repeative as others have said (MC gets magic gossip => emperor uses mind reading to learn it & acts on magic gossip => theres a show where people are exposed) but mostly light & entertaining. The earlier chapters are the better ones.

Trigger: h*mophobia

However, its clear the author really hates gay people and anyone born with anything different about their g*nitals is a subhuman monster. While this is not uncommon in Chinese... more>> writing, and is usually a hazard of the webnovel scene, here it gets to be A LOT. Homosexuals are not portrayed except as child s*x traffickers and Inters*x people are evil enemy assasin spys & literally refeered to as monsters for being different (ummmmmmm just wow).

Now, I dont know if inters*x here was meant to be a dig at transgender people (a common target for h*mophobia) but lets be clear that inters*x is a completely different thing. Its a chromosomal abnormality where people are born with a mix of male & female g*netalia and YES they do exist and have existed historically. Its just something that happens sometimes with human biology.

Usually inters*x ppl get to fly under the radar and not pick up this kind of hate. It was shocking to see the cheap shot and bizzare portrayal where both the author & translator seems to be confused and uneducated on what they were refeering to, Inters*x being used interchangeably with bis*xual, "shemale", and homos*xual.

The author jumped the shark honestly. Clearly looking for a cheap easy villian to be both fetishized and treated as less than a person. Usually I can ignore h*mophobia as a hazard... but the dehumanizing of people over the natural shape of their g*nitalia is extra gross (especially the insinuation that inters*x people did not exist in the past and where chemicaly manufactured by pe*verts) <<less
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Shortk
Shortk rated it
December 17, 2023
Status: Completed
I actually really liked this... it's really fun novel especially if you like watching drama or tea podcasts etc. but let's be honest, it's quite homophobic /biphobic / queerphobic? Is that a word? It's also xenophobic but that's kinda expected and maybe it's historically correct idk. I can ignore it all bc it doesn't concern me, but it is like hm I can't reasonably recommend it. It would almost be better if the MC wasn't a modern woman bc then I could justify the lack of normal good queer representation.... more>> It's ok if you make them the bad guy once, but if you continue to use queer ppl as a method to disgust ppl then I dunno. It's difficult. I skimmed the whole inters*x arc bc I just thought it was distasteful to dislike them so much.

I mean if you're just not queer and if you can just ignore it all, you'll probably have no issue reading this. Look, it's a really fun drama tea channel in a book. If it helps, I don't think the author means to be homophobic bc she speaks about the existence of gay ppl normally as a whole but I think it's internalized bc why else is every queer person bad? Shrugs* I mean still it was lol a fun novel despite that for me as a bad guilty pleasure lol. <<less
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hobbes
hobbes rated it
January 15, 2023
Status: c42
This was very interesting and funny to read in the beginning but it got so boring later. The repetitive cycle of FL writing novels and ML punishing them got so annoying after some point.

Importantly, doesnt the FL think about the consequences of writing such stories? What would the king think if she gets all that information about prominent people? If he dint have mind reading skills then she would definitely have been imprisoned and tortured asking where she was getting all that info. Also her stories punish the criminals but... more>> it also implicates a lot of other innocent people, like the son of the marquis who was not his original son. This was exposed but what happened to that kid? Won't he be thrown out and tormented all his life? She just cares about money and food and her family, nobody and nothing else.

I got really annoyed by her constantly thinking about food even when there was so much happening around her all the time. Just like eating and watching drama on TV. That's real life not some drama where although some people are punished a lot of other people are implicated and hurt too. She doesn't care at all about anything else just sitting and eating. This was funny in the beginning but after repeating again and again I just felt the FL was really cold hearted. Anyways this was my opinion so I will stop reading it here. <<less
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kyrez
kyrez rated it
October 25, 2023
Status: Completed
A long light reading~

It's not at all serious nor heavy. Very fluffy and full of melon-eating.

Life was super easy for the ML after he 'embraced' his quirky wife. Everything went smoothly like butter.

Spoiler

FL was a salted fish transmigrator who only wanted to enjoy 'melons', but got dragged into the harem fight (not really though; because ML was her backer, so she wins everytime) , when she attracted the ML's attention.

I like that ML and FL have good relationship with the Empress Dowager. Their interactions are heartwarming (especially after all the paranoia and suspicious are shed aside).

[collapse]

I also like the concept of using 'mass media' for good (not like nowadays where rumours and false news are spread widely) . All the villains were caught and given their due ends (with public approval at that!) .

Spoiler

It's just a bit sad to see the end of the story, without knowing whether the FL's vest will finally be known or not. Also, what about the rebellious sect? What happened to them? And FL's family seems to be forgotten especially at the end. Anyway, the story seems a bit unfinished~

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All in all, I really enjoyed eating the melons reading the story. And very happy with the HE (especially the CP! Hehe).

Edited: Btw, Translator Mio website is super cute~ 🍭
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miomiao
miomiao rated it
December 5, 2022
Status: Completed
At first, I still on my mood for read 'melon eating', but when at the 100 more chapters (The Qi Family's melon), I just read on the surface. For all, it's still on my favorite story and you must read it. I love the last part. I thought I will read the story of 'read minding' of their son when their son grownup, but didn't.
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Roxasfleur
Roxasfleur rated it
November 27, 2022
Status: Completed
Damn, it was good!

This story is filled with gossip. Maybe it can be titled how to conquer the world with gossip lol.

MC has melon-eating system, basically a gossip system (what a new concept) where the system will give gossip from time to time. While ML has mind reading skill so it seems funny that he can also see first-hand gossip and gradually enjoy it. Even the empress dowager also become a fan of gossiping. Truly, how modern it is lol.

The story is 1vs1 all the way. The other imperial concubine... more>> quickly get resolved with the all-powerful gossip system. Their family and themselves had a lot of dirty secret.

And finally, I can read a story where MC experience pregnancy from beginning to end up giving birth. Usually they only gave birth as an epilogue. <<less
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Koeri143
Koeri143 rated it
November 20, 2022
Status: c116
I finised this novel just a few hours ago. This is very entertaining, every chapter would crack you up from the two main characters' 'melon eating' habits. The female lead, Li Yan Shu, up to the very end didn't give up her CP (the QDowager and her Old Qi). She has a system that delivers gossips and warns her of immediate danger, but belatedly warns against dangers not related to her. The emperor has a 'pole' problem for three years but was cured right at the middle of the story.... more>> The main character took up writing using her system melons. The narration of this story is very humurous until the end. <<less
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ludagad
ludagad rated it
November 20, 2022
Status: c1
I finished this novel in a few days without getting tired of it. It was amusing, easy-going, no drama, no tragedies. It really was mostly about gossip and how the MC resolved it with the help of her mind-reading hubby - the emperor. The story was heart-warming and all about justice served. I enjoyed reading it and can definitely recommend it to readers who want a relaxing novel where everything goes smoothly for the good characters.
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SammieUy
SammieUy rated it
November 27, 2023
Status: c8
It was interesting for the first 80% but got repetitive by the end. The title pretty much says it all. Our MC likes eating melons above everything else. And those melons take up most of the plot. They are interesting but I wish there was character development and an actual storyline other than eating melons. I would have rated it a 4.0 but the ending was so abrupt and unsatisfying that a whole star had to be subtracted.
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Dianille
Dianille rated it
September 30, 2023
Status: Completed
This novel deserves a solid 4⭐ rating! It's a perfect choice for those seeking an enjoyable read without the need for heavy emotional investment. The story maintains a light-hearted tone as the MC's golden finger effortlessly trivialized every obstacle, resulting in a less serious plot. I did make an attempt to read this novel once before, and I at first I thought this novel was a bit boring. However, if you can overlook the frequent food-related paragraphs, you'll find it to be a rather pleasat read.
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ntww12
ntww12 rated it
August 29, 2023
Status: Completed
An absolutely fun novel to read that centers on faceslapping and gossip/drama. It’s like one of those tr*shy virtual TV shows but in ancient China. It’s light-hearted and not meant to be taken seriously.

Basically MC has the ability to know gossip. Instant gossip. Her system is like the best paparazzi in the world and can give her the information instantly. She is so excited to eat all this “melons” aka gossip. Most of this gossip involve people doing evil. She’s then assisted by the ML who can read minds. As... more>> the ML is the Emperor, he has a lot of power and can then faceslap the people who did evil.

This story has minimal romance. Its focused on comedy and gossip.

The ML finds out the MC has a system but MC never finds out about ML’s mind reading.

As for their child:

Spoiler

Their child inherits the mindreading abilities. Sadly there are no extras about him.

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Btw 7starkiller notoriously leaves 1 star reviews. I’ll take their review with a grain of salt. This story is enjoyable and not as terrible As they wrote it to be. <<less
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ladyxxx
ladyxxx rated it
May 25, 2024
Status: c116
I'm surprised to see many negative review for this novel. Please try to read this first and form your own opinion. I read this novel long ago, and at that time it was completely translated. This novel has a lot of comedic scenes. I saw someone commented that it is repetitive (the emperor reading FL mind) but this novel is just 116 chapters in total, so theres not that many repetition at all. In fact, I think this novel is very suitable to be adapted to a drama/movie due to... more>> the funny and mostly lighthearted undertone. <<less
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Rubyspecs
Rubyspecs rated it
March 22, 2023
Status: --
The two stars are just for the fact that it contained 'ML having mind reading ability' trope which is one of my favourite tropes. It makes things so hilarious and exciting! So I had great expectations at the beginning.

But later on, it became quite repetitive, MC blabbering so much about food, that it became really annoying and buzzing. MC speaks aloud about the scandals and gossips in her mind, ML reads her mind, investigates and clears out the weed. And this happens over and over again. There's barely nothing bubbling... more>> up in romance. MC doesn't see ML as man and ML does nothing but cuddle MC to sleep each acting as a Teddy bear for other.

Given it's not plot driven, it could had been a relaxing read hadn't been for the repetitive chain of events happening over and over again. <<less
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