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Living together with an inarticulate old classmate for three years and suddenly discovering that he had been secretly loved by him for over ten years.

Associated Names
One entry per line
Related Series
Gaze at the Scenes of Debauchery (1)
Waiting Until 35 Years Old (1)
My Wife Always Thought I Did Not Love Him (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Serious BL
  2. My Favourite Bl novels
  3. Novels I liked (BL)
  4. Translated
  5. Best BL in the game

Latest Release

Date Group Release
10/03/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c25
10/03/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c24
10/02/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c23
09/26/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c22
09/25/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c21
09/19/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c20
09/18/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c19
09/12/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c18
09/11/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c17
09/05/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c16
09/04/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c15
08/29/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c14
08/28/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c13
08/22/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c12
08/21/19 Chrysanthemum Garden c11
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7 Reviews sorted by

BeanieRoro rated it
August 20, 2019
Status: c10
Personally, I very much like this kind of story. It's super fluffy, but due to the gong/seme+shou/uke failing to communicate properly, there's also a lot of angst. It's a really fun read if you enjoy a shou/uke who makes you coo at his socially awkward cuteness and cry at his pitiful heartache. Also a gong/seme who bullies him into taking better care off himself. (... so mean but so necessary.) I'm enjoying it a lot. (#torturedprotagonist #theangstisreal #yespls)

Not really a spoiler, but it does heavily analyze one of the... more>> characters. Unless you're insistent upon going into a story blind, I hope this helps you understand the character before judging:


The shou/uke (CDL) is a very lonely person, as the title would imply. As the story progresses, we find that his lonliness is so terrible that he doesn't have much care for himself. What seems so far to be a very clear case of depression. His low self-esteem is quite heartbreaking at times. The gong/seme (YY) is someone he has liked for a long while, and seems to give him some measure of happiness and comfort. However, because YY is basically his only real source of happiness, CDL is arguably far too dependant on him. He will do anything to stay by YY's side, and kind of falls apart without him. Though it isn't wrong to criticize CDL for his dangerously obsessive infatuation with YY, it's important to understand that he doesn't really have anyone else. Most people have a network of people (good friends etc) and a reliable support (family), but CDL is very isolated. Even if you might say it's his fault for not reaching out, that doesn't change his loneliness, and it's very difficult for people with his level of depression and low self-esteem to reach out. This isn't an entirely unrealistic situation. The thing is, in the real world, people like this usually don't have happy endings. Depression doesn't magically go away, and relying on a single person for your happy is dangerous and often unfulfilling. I don't know whether or not the author intented to write a depressed character, but that's how it reads.


The gong/seme is also an interesting character, but pretty straightforward so I won't explain. <<less
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Snoring Feline
Snoring Feline rated it
July 17, 2019
Status: Completed
Thank you so much for translating this! This novel is an absolute gem that isn't too long nor too short. Seme is sweet and the uke is absolutely precious.

When the Yuan Yuan promised our precious bean Chen Dong Lan that he will be very good to him even without knowing or having experienced what love is, made my heart melt and waterworks were starting to go at it.

All in all, 10/10 would recommend without a doubt!
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Silver_Lotus_Under_The_Moon rated it
October 8, 2019
Status: Completed
This is a wonderful story.

This is the shortest and simplest sentence that can summarise what I think of this story.

If you're looking for a dramatic but hilarious romance story with three love interests and annoying family members that the MC later faceslaps, then this isn't the story for you.

This is a story that involves one love interest and one entirely devoted MC, although there will be a few chapters starring annoying family members ... more>>

that are unfortunately, not slapped in the face by the MC or the ML

. There will be quite a lot of angst in the beginning of the story however, later on, there will be plenty of 'fluff' in the story to balance out the angst.

As you read the story, you might lose track of time. Minutes, hours, days or weeks could go by, depending on how fast or slow you are at reading and I personally didn't notice the hours drift pass as I was scrolling down the page.

I contemplated rushing through the chapters just to see CDL and YY's relationship bloom, but then I would slow down and take my time, savouring the Translator's work and just taking the chapter in as a whole.

The dynamic between CDL and YY are smooth, there's an understanding between them that comes with years of pure companionship friendship and living together.

The beginning of Loneliness showcases the utter adoration and devotion CDL has for YY. The pure love that CDL has for YY has me incredibly envious, just imagining someone loving you with their all, heart and soul had me thinking, 'Wow, how lucky are they?'. It might be the dog food that was being fed to me, a single dog but I was jealous in a 'give-me-someone-like-XXX' way and in a strange sense, I enjoyed that feeling of jealousy.

Now others might find CDL, the shou and main character of Loneliness as pathetic. For someone to depend and worship this one person their whole life? Why would that someone do this? Can't they just move on from A or B and be independent like X?

I think differently.


CDL loved YY for ten years and I doubt just leaving that love behind wouldn't impact CDL. One cannot love and expect to forget that love in just a moment's time.


Love is something that others perceive differently. If one describes someone loving like the burning fire, compassionate and swallowing one whole until they're nothing but a crisped log, still able to burn if helped, then CDL's love is the exact opposite. CDL loves like the sea. Suffocating under the deep weight of loneliness, silent and calm on the surface but heavy and dark in the bottom of his soul.

CDL can't stop loving YY because, just like the sea, if one attempts to build a dam with sticks and logs then the dam would break under pressure.

CDL has low self-esteem and he's incredibly inept at expressing how he feels. The raw awkwardness, the social interactions and the pure misunderstandings CDL and YY have, it had just a touch of humour that allowed me to thoroughly savour the story, but there was something so much deeper than just humour, so much more intimate.

I would like to thank the Translator for translating this novel and the editors too, because you just aren't appreciated enough!

Cheers for the good work! <<less
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byunnie rated it
August 8, 2019
Status: --
Two stars for the translation.

The uke is the most pathetic character I've read in a while. These kind of " life has no meaning without you" characters just make me so mad especially when they're so bland and have no other personality other than being shy, doing EVERYTHING for their significant other, and revolving their entire life around them.

Yuan Yuan is slightly more interesting than Chen dong lan that piece of dried wood with nothing to do other than be the model example of the "As A Woman, I Live... more>> To Serve My Husband And That's it. I Will ALWAYS Put Him And His Needs First. I Will Cook And Clean For Him Everyday Without Any Complaints. Yes He Cheats On Me Everyday But At The End Of The Day He Comes Back To ME" meme (man version). <<less
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TheLadyWhoLikesBoyLove rated it
July 21, 2019
Status: Completed
This story is just so heartwarming and fluffy. Both characters has is dynamic, the story is simple and lovable.
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izayaYY rated it
October 16, 2019
Status: --
"Loneliness" is actually a happy and fluffy read. The first half is sad because it describes CDL's depression, isolation and his unrequited love of a decade for YY. But the second half is full of warmth, fluff and love. YY is not your typical OP ML but just a regular modern career-minded lawyer, with common looks and life but an uncommon approach to emotions and relationships. YY's peculiar emotional detachment and mindset that makes him distance himself from others and his natural workaholic tendency are possibly the reasons why he... more>> missed all the obvious signs of CDL's deep feelings for him, despite being roomates for 3yrs and despite his very own indulgence towards CDL that he does not realise.

I am flabbergasted that some readers consider CDL "pathetic"! Why so heartless and judgemental? CDL is clearly under severe mental stress, doing his best to cope with his repressed emotions and lifelong neglect from his parents. His parents are the pathetic and contemptible bastards, not CDL. CDL's low self-esteem, shyness, introverted character, low EQ and poor communication skills all made his circumstances worse. In my opinion, to be able to go through that much psychological duress for so long and still be able to hold a job and function in society, it actually shows how strong CDL is. I personally know many who breaks down at the least sign of adversity.

Another thing: obsessional love seem to be a common theme in chinese and japanese BL. Many (westerners mostly) inevitably complain this is an unhealthy, unbalanced and abnormal relationship. I don't think so. People with such lofty morals and excellent psychology diplomas should stop reading chinese BL. The human heart is free, free to love just one person or 10 or 100. For me, the person who loves just one is infinitely more interesting than the extrovert who needs an entourage in order to be happy and who is incapable of making decisions without consulting his/her 10-100 buddies. Yes, I am as introverted as CDL, with only one love and only one best friend 🙂 <<less
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SockPuppet rated it
October 6, 2019
Status: Completed
A short, sweet few-hour-read with not much substance. Everything was just sort of OK, but it didn't really touch my heart. The main couple was pretty bland and kinda meh.

The ending was


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