Let Me Live!

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How it all started – Hai Ri committed su*cide, and then failed to succeed.

He encountered many who came to this place because they committed su*cide, and the person with the highest points among them was Hai Ri’s idol, whom he thought had long passed on.

Hai Ri turned pale with fright. “You’re not dead yet?”

His idol: …

As a result, Hai Ri cautiously and conscientiously became a competent mom fan in this world as well. “Son, mother supports you in whatever you do.”

Several tasks later, his idol asked, “Do you really like me?”

Hai Ri: “Yup I do, why ask such a thing?”

His idol: “What type of like?”

Hai Ri: ?

Hai Ri was silent for a moment. “Any type is fine?”

Amidst a bunch of people who faced death with no fear, Hai Ri realized that he didn’t actually want to die all that much anymore. He wanted to go back, stand among hordes of people, and listen to a concert by his little idol’s group.

My idol will save the world, and I will save my idol.

Associated Names
One entry per line
给爷活!
Related Series
N/A
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Recommendation Lists
  1. Unlimited Flow [BL]
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  4. danmei gold list #2
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WordEater
WordEater rated it
March 20, 2022
Status: Completed
World-building Starter

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Spoiler

People who kill themselves are transferred to another world wherein they have to gather enough points to apply for absolute death.

These people get points for their food, rent, and application for death by clearing or winning games either as civilians, neutral, or wolves.

Losing or being killed in the game scenario would grant the player, a chance to live again in the real world which is something people who su*cide don't want to get.

The game mechanics are similar to the werewolf game. It was just integrated to a story. In game scenarios, people will choose roles at the start and they will get the backstory available for that person. They get together to vote as well as get evidences from the rooms of the other parties, they need to talk with each other to pierce evidences together and try to see holes in the narratives given by other players.

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Sheng Canyang is a big bug in the game.
Like I previously said, having Sheng Canyang present in the instances were like a cheat. Too bad we did not see scenes where Hai Ri was not too occupied with thought related to Sheng Canyang. It heavily influenced his actions and in turn, had to always think of ways not to implicate the man during the game hindering his train of thought slash independent deductions. It narrowed his opportunities to shine as a character beside being a huge supporter of Sheng Canyang. He swore not to depend in Shen Canyang but his mere existence in the game with Hai Ri distracts Hai Ri so much that he had to constantly try to refer to his opinions. I'm not saying Hai Ri's brain is not working, he's just too emotionally attached and he had this "imbued duties" inside to make this person happy. Exhibits that Hai Ri is intelligent in his own right: his previous games and his deductions post and during games. Hai Ri's trust on Shen Canyang is pretty sweet but it puts him in a box.

I understand that the blurb already implied that Hai Ri is a bit devoted to Shen Canyang but you'll get what I mean.

tldr; When Shen Canyang is with Hai Ri, Hai Ri's potential is significantly smaller as a detective protagonist but otherwise, still a precious bean.

AFTER THIS, DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED IT YET. LOTS OF JUMBLED SPOILERS.

Shen Canyang v. a panda

Spoiler

The panda won and Shen Canyang is green with envy. It's inappropriate due to the theme of why but I'm so amused that I snorted.

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Backstory of Hai Ri

Spoiler

Hai Ri is a rich generation who was saved by the music of Shen Canyang when the latter was still alive. It later turned him into a devoted fan.

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Spoiler

Pre-start of the Canon, Hai Ri was introduced as a defender, someone who (at the end of their time) sacrifices their lives to cleanse the negativity within the hearts of the inhabitants of that world. He sometimes get mission to help a person who killed themselves better their mentality and assist them in their return to life.

As a defender, he got a mission to help the Shen Canyang get better as he has a notable large amount of despair inside.

For this reason, he asked a co-worker to erase his memories and replaced it with the character of the Hai Ri we saw at the start.

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Spoiler

It was revealed that 3 years before his mission, he met Shen Canyang (time-traveller) in a cafe of that world. He was informed that he will meet this guy in the future and become his significant other but not how.

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Backstory of Shen Canyang

Spoiler

He was a teenager who debuted in the entertainment world when he was still young. Shen Canyang got famous due to a video of him playing an erhu, recorded by Shan Yu, his best friend at the time.

The one of the reasons for his su*cide was because he got caught in a scandal of homosexuality. He was attacked by the public and Shan Yu's fans.

He got the highest despair level compared to the other people who killed themselves. This caused the higher-ups to be interested in his case and try to alleviate it as an attempt to see if they can help the other occupants in that world. He was the sole applicant for death that got rejected for the same reason.

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Spoiler

He once lost a game which returned him to the world of living but he killed himself again. After that, he got the position one of the beta-tester for scenes played before other players.

When he got returned to the world of living after winning the game with Hai Ri and the others, he lost his memories and achieved a good life (popular singer) but he lost his negative emotions.

As his memories began to return after he met Ansel, he decided to kill himself again to search for Hai Ri. His third time around reminded him of Hai Ri's insecurities that they only fell in love because of conditioning due to their "identity" as defender and one who has large despair, so he decided to travel back to Pre-start of the Canon where he tried to awkwardly flirt with the taciturn Hai Ri.

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Others
Spoiler

I don't know if it was because the one I read was not translated by translators but if I managed to pick it up right, it was an open-ended ending without extras. There's just some things that were left to the imaginations of the readers- like the time-gap of pre-mission. I would love to reread the scenarios again. I have to admit, I always blanked out with this one.

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Seriously, I don't know if the problem lies with my fat fingers or my phone... I seriously did not plan beforehand to put star rating [× ∆ ×] <<less
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LeniSnow
LeniSnow rated it
December 18, 2021
Status: Completed
I recommend this novel. It's greatly written. Both characters are interesting. You'll know towards the ending why MC is very nice or engaged towards ML from the start.
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damnmei
damnmei rated it
October 4, 2023
Status: Completed
Just the first half of the novel is definitely 5 stars, but the second half really takes the rating down for me with the plot holes, abrupt ending, and character inconsistencies, so overall would probably rate a 3 unfortunately. Keeping my rating at a 4 though just for the great translation quality.

This novel has one of the most nuanced portrayals of depression I've ever read and I would definitely proceed with caution in reading as there's a lot of casual mentions of su*cide, given that it's the main premise of... more>> the plot. The depictions of mental health are extremely well written, and I really do feel that this author must have some personal experience. The ML in particular was quite compelling for me, as despite being a bit overpowered at the games, his mental state in the first half of the novel in particular was all over the place, showing just how deep his mental illness ran. He was very consistent in his characterization despite being very inconsistent in his behavior, and the MC trying to help/fix him but being unable to do so was very realistic.

Though this novel definitely had me ??? Basically from the midpoint to the end, trying to figure out wtf was happening, it was still an overall coherent storyline. A few minor plot holes never got resolved and the ending was too rushed, but the main questions that I had were answered and loose ends were mostly wrapped up. Don't want to spoil anything, but if you're confused by anything while reading the novel, rest assured that most of the plot holes will get filled eventually. (Despite how badly some of those holes get filled lol)

For an unlimited flow novel, it's quite short and there aren't too many scenarios. The games are a bit over the top with the "logic" puzzles and I got tired of the ML using his big brain all the time to accurately guess everything correctly. Would say that this is a little more relationship focused than your average novel of the genre, which is actually my preference so definitely not complaining there, but something to just keep in mind. The romance is great and not drawn out, so don't come here for a slow burn because the EQ of these characters is too high to draw it out for very long. I will say though that the romance only really hit great in the first half.

I appreciated that this novel doesn't pretend that two seriously mentally ill people makes for a great relationship and doesn't glamorize mental illness either. There's a lot of introspective moments, especially in the first half of the novel that I really liked. I will say that my enjoyment kind of decreased by the second half after certain details were revealed and the following plot inconsistencies took too long to get explained. Too many open questions really takes me out of fully enjoying a novel, and I feel like the character development of especially the MC really suffered in the second half of the novel.

I have a lot of mixed feelings with this novel. If it had ended in the midpoint or had just stayed consistent without relying so heavily of contrived plot twists, it could have been amazing. Alas.

Spoiler

I really liked the MC in the first half, but I had such a hard time with liking him after he basically became a new character after the plot reveal. The author basically took his entire character and threw it in the tr*sh lol. I feel like it was really unnecessary to have such a big change and honestly the explanation was pretty half assed for me. Everything that I liked about the MC in the novel was basically erased, and I was really disappointed to be quite honest.

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tiaglory
tiaglory
January 20, 2024
Status: Completed
im a bit lost,

i don’t want to rate it. I guess its just the way it is

this novel is about depression, fantasy, I actually don’t recommend this novel to patients. It makes me want to slit my wrists and hoping there’s second world that I don’t actually die. It also makes me think what’s holding me back in this world. Its a bit disturbing
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En-Jay99
En-Jay99 rated it
October 4, 2023
Status: Completed
when I started this novel and till the half-way point, this was a 5/5 novel. Half -way through however, the author introduced new elements and plot twists that I felt took away from the original concept a bit, and the ending was too sudden and contrived. The ending finally made me rate this at 3.

Initially the idea is fascinating. A survival world where people are aiming to die instead of live. A lot of really good insight into depression and also the pain of people who take their life. One... more>> of the speeches by the ML at the end (who tbh takes the role of MC in the second half), was startlingly insightful and worth reading.

However the idea of a 'cure' that was introduced doesn't feel very apt, and role of the protectors suddenly felt both OP and also useless. The novel flips roles and expectations, which is very good, but also brings up questions that I feel weren't answered. The ending was also very jarring and sudden despite being a HE.

I like the cast a lot. Both the MC and ML are easy to like and love, with good depth and unique personalities. They make each other laugh so much, that despite the grim setting, each chapter was filled with humour. The friends are also very delightful.

The repetition of the survival games did take away from the enjoyment. There's a certain Werewolf-witch-civilian-etc game played which involves a lot of manipulation and lying and people trying to trick each other. This game is very convoluted and hard to follow and is used more than it should. The climax battle has it but it's also used before. So it felt repetitive because we know already that the ML is a genius at this game so we just end up being led by the nose by his cleverness. It got a bit boring.

overall I have mixed feelings because this novel is really good at some parts, I loved the start, but perhaps tried a bit too much to add some dramatic plot and ended up dragging itself down by the end. <<less
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LH_12
LH_12 rated it
February 18, 2024
Status: Completed
If you are here because of the tag of unlimited flaw, then this isn't the novel you were searching for. If you are here for romance, then this is still the wrong novel. I agree with the translator; I too wouldn't tag this novel as unlimited flow. Yes, there were some elements, like different dimensions and tasks, but it still isn't that. There was a beautiful love story, but it wasn't the main point either. The author just wanted us to understand how people with mental health issues feel and... more>> urge us to be more tolerant, understanding, and kind. They don't need our pity or charity. Sometimes, even when people have good intentions, their special treatment makes people with mental health issues more uncomfortable. The whole idea of this story was expressed in the last lines of this story. I think it was beautiful and meaningful. We all can be a little bit kind to others; sometimes even a few words can be enough for someone who feels down and burdened, and it costs us nothing.

Does this story have some flaws? Yes, it has. Was the ending a bit abrupt? Yes, it was. I think the author could elaborate on some things a bit more. I wish we had more chapters about MC and ML at the end, but I don't think all this matters that much. The author never intended to write a love story or unlimited flow. They wanted to make us reflect on some things. This story definitely touched me. I understood what the author wanted to tell us, and I loved it.

Apart from that, the story itself was good. The world the author created was unique and interesting. There were some games that characters should solve, which was also intriguing. Characters are very good, even side characters. MC was at first a bit strange and looked out of place, but there were many occasions when things didn't make sense. MC is too bright and sunny for the predicament he is in. But I kept reading because the writing and world-building were too good. I just had a hunch that an author with such an imagination wouldn't make such a careless mistake. I felt that something was wrong. I got more suspicious when, at the end of the first ark, about 33 chapters, everything was wonderful. This story wouldn't be so simple and boring. And I was right. This novel is too good and has a wonderful plot. At the end, the author connected almost all the dots, and it was logical.

I couldn't understand why this novel has such low ratings. The writing is good, the author is talented, and the story is very interesting, so what went wrong? I think readers might feel a bit cheated. The story wasn't what I imagined it would be. I came here for unlimited flow, but unexpectedly, I got something entirely different. And there was so much angst, not because of depression or fear of losing a game but for other reasons connected to human emotions and losing a loved one. But I still loved it for the reasons mentioned above. Despite the flaws, I gave it 5 stars. I would recommend it to other readers, just be aware that this isn't unlimited flow and main point of the story is healing and helping others.

After reading it, the title has a whole new meaning. It is a kind of message to the readers. I would definitely recommend it; it's just that this novel deals with sensitive issues like depression and su*cide. Many characters have a bad and tragic past. So please be aware of it. Despite the angst and tragic stories, it still gives you hope, and the main idea is interesting. It stands out from other novels of the same genre. It has revered but interesting logic. Nothing goes as you imagined; it is unpredictable.

I want to thank the translator. Nor was the translation very good, but the notes were pretty meticulous. I'm grateful for all of the song links; I wouldn't have found them on my own. Also, I don't think many people would risk and translate such a story, so thank you for translating it and giving me a chance to read it. <<less
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aalalaa
aalalaa
January 4, 2023
Status: c56
I like it so far. It’s my first time reading this type of novel so I find it a bit confusing the fantasy elements and alternate worlds but I’m sure it’ll all come together at the end. I really enjoy the devotion that the MC has for the ML and their romance. I can’t wait for the chapters!
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