I Want to F*** You


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“I want to f*ck you.” All changes started when Tao Ruan received this message. From then on, Tao Ruan would be dragged into a dream with real experience every night, and be manipulated by various fancy tricks: physiology lessons in the classroom… in front of the French window…simulating pregnancy belly play….

At first, Tao Ruan thought that Gu Zhizhou, the senior whom she had a crush on, would definitely not be a pe*vert who harassed and played with her. Until she was played badly in her dream, all kinds of evidence in reality gradually surfaced.

Associated Names
One entry per line
Related Series
Give Me to Bai (3)
Innocence (2)
Peeking into the Future (2)
Amorous S*ave Girl (1)
Seduced By a Married Teacher (1)
Seducing You (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. BL smuts with plot and without plot
  2. good girls, do not enter
  3. 18+ (enter with caution)
  4. bumping uglies ;) BG version
  5. Novel that I had finished

Latest Release

Date Group Release
05/23/21 MyTranslations c141
05/22/21 MyTranslations c140
05/21/21 MyTranslations c139
05/20/21 MyTranslations c138
05/19/21 MyTranslations c137
05/18/21 MyTranslations c136
05/17/21 MyTranslations c135
05/16/21 MyTranslations c134
05/15/21 MyTranslations c133
05/14/21 MyTranslations c132
05/13/21 MyTranslations c131
05/12/21 MyTranslations c130
05/11/21 MyTranslations c129
05/10/21 MyTranslations c128
05/09/21 MyTranslations c127
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29 Reviews sorted by

xoxoxands rated it
February 12, 2021
Status: Completed
I MTL'ed this so take my review with a grain of salt.

Came for smut stayed for smut with a side of plot. LOL

Please only read this novel after you read the tags. Make sure you're okay with r*pe, r*pe victim becomes lover, obsessive love, and yandere. Keep in mind this book is romantisized. Proceed with caution.


FL lowkey giving me stockholm syndrome vibes but I'm digging it. My morals are tr*sh. Help. *Smiles in panic*

7/10 plot

There are plot holes which I expected to happen cause this is a story where author believes in smut supremacy over plot.

HOWEVER, I did not expect the bg story of FL and ML. SUCH TWISTED TIME AND PLACE FOR LOVE TO BLOOM WTH. Everyone who condoned ML's sick love for MC is a sicko too. Just like what they say, ignorance is a bliss. (I'm looking at you Tao Ruan)

10/10 snusnu (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Almost every chapter has snusnu. This novel is estrus personified.

ML always visits MC in dreams and goes papapa with her. After I got past the uncomfy 1st&2nd dream where ML forces persuades her, the next snusnu going forward are easy breezy for me.

9/10 ML


ML has erectile dysfunction due to severe trauma reason why he always only papapa her in her dreams and dares not confess irl. He was sexually abused and humiliated in his childhood by the pervy nanny when his parents were going through divorce. He gets his mini friend up later on and papapa the MC almost every chance he gets.

Reason why he's not perfect 10 is because FL already confronts him many times about him manipulating her dreams but he keeps denying even though they both already know it's him. He dares not tear the paperwindow down. This goes on for so effing long.

9/10 MC

MC IS TOO SOFT. She's so marupokpok (JK). I dig her bg story where

she lost her memories because of PTSD from a crime she committed for ML when she was young. P.S. She didn't know it was a crime when she did it.

She is too accepting of ML that I started to doubt if she was just a fragment of ML's imagination or if she was like for real. Fortunately she is real and no delulu ML happened. She's just TOO SOFT. Anyone who is as aggressive as ML can basically eat her tofu-if there is no manipulative ML.


This can be a fun read if you let go of your morals while reading this or if you dont have any to start with. (͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)



I really wanted to know how ML gets to control MC's dreams but author did not dive deeper there. *Cries in unsatisfied*


Thank you translator (s) for introducing this story! Might re-read once complete tl is up. <<less
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Realvnv rated it
May 17, 2021
Status: c30
This Ruan Ruan chick... How do I explain this? As a person, she has two prominent traits: she cries a lot and has no backbone.

You can read descriptions of her crying face or "wooo~"ing at least three times per chapter and I'm not even joking. If she's not crying, she's being fu*ked or vice versa. Oh yes, she also cries during s*x.

By no backbone, I mean literally. I wouldn't be surprised if she told me that she was a slime or gummy bear in her previous life. She's mad? Give... more>> her sum choco and she'll be ok. Oh wait, she's double-bubble mad? Pfft, you dumbass, let ML show his signature "brighter than the sun and holier than heavens" smile and she will turn into melted ice cream in no more than 5 minutes.

"Maybe it's not about backbone and she's naive/super soft-hearted, " you may think. If that is so you're a fu*king saintess, dear Ruan. Alright, forgive him; but at least don't babble about how considerate ML is and at the end of the day how it's all your fault. I know you have no dignity to speak of but even I have some crumbs of it left.

If I were to give my rating for characters alone, 1 star would be too much; but since I'm here for the smut, which is quite good, 3 should do.

There is nothing except our lovely main cast and smut btw, don't expect much from the plot. <<less
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TripleBaka rated it
February 3, 2021
Status: c125
EDIT: I give it a 5 for how insane this is and a 2.5 on the plot. I'm mostly reading it for laughs.

This story is something else. Almost every chapter has s*x. I'm amazed at how perverse the ML is. What it says on the tin is what you got, but there's deeper stuff not revealed yet. This will most likely have 142 chapters of smut.

EDIT again: It barely has a scene where they are not doing snu snu. About 99% of it is just snu snu.
The reveals made me scratch my head. Unbelievable. I don't even understand what the ML does.


There's a time skip and the story doesn't tell what the ML does for a job. I mean he works for a company making a virtual game to sleep with the FL but I'm confused? Like how is he able to have s*x with the FL in her dreams? This story doesn't explain crap.


If you don't like Black Belly ML don't read this. If you don't like soft MC don't read this (although she has some bite.) If you don't like pointless s*xual stories (with forced elements and manipulation) then don't read this. It's a large PWP.

warning for kink (s)

ML pees inside of her bu*t in a dream and FL pees on the MC lol There's no scat so don't worry just a lot of pee and uhhh white stuff.

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Spatika shetty
Spatika shetty
February 28, 2021
Status: Completed
I have read alot of novel with weak FL's but this is the most infuriating one. Shes not weak in the sense of being a coward or a damsel in distress, instead shes weak when it comes to willpower. The FL has absolutely no backbone and doesnt know how to stick her decisions. She practically let's the ML do whatever he wants. There are instances where the FL gets angry at the ML but they do nothing to the plot. There'll never any character development of either the ML or FL coz you know that the FL will instantly forgive the ML and the ML will barely face any repercussions. Its infuriating coz I expect her to stand up for herself and teach the ML a lesson so that he can correct his behaviour, instead she just gets back with him. Not only that, she'll justify or try to reason out his actions and then blame herself for being too mean for getting angry.


The plot is basically that the ML r*pes her in her dreams. When the FL figures out that the ML intentionally comes in her dreams, shes actually happy. Instead of being bothered by the fact that he r*pes her, she instead upset that he's hiding it from her. Usually smut novels which have weak FLs, the FLs due to circumstances are forced to be with the Ml, because of that I try not to get angry at such Fl's. But this FL willingly wants to be with the ML despite his questionable behaviour. Eventhough he knows that shes upset with his behaviour, he does nothing to change.


I dont really like the ML. Honestly anyone with any ounce of self respect would run away from him coz who wants to be with a guy who likes to violently r*pe you in your dreams.. Luckily for him, the FL has absolutely no self respect. They go well together, hes scum and shes dumb enough to fooled by him. Also I find his gentle persona to be extremely fake. I love gentle Ml's, but this ML just seems so fake, that I cant really get myself to like him. To be honest, I find his gentle persona to be really boring (probably coz it feels fake).

Not only that, the ML is like a s*x crazed maniac. Honestly I feel like he lusts after her more than he loves her. They dont know how to bond with eachother other than having s*x. How am I supposed to feel any chemistry between them?

Honestly just read this for the smut, dont bother about the characters or plot. The author is pretty creative.
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Drenlith rated it
June 8, 2021
Status: Completed
This is more appropriate as some weird h*ntai with plot than a romance novel. The ML is an embodiment of a symbolic field of red flags.

He's this alpha psychopathic s*xual predator that assaults his victim and gives her Stockholm Syndrome. He groomed and conditioned her pretty much to his personal s*x sleeve.

FL, despite all the warnings from her friends, jumps right into this mess willingly because... Dude happens to also be her Adonis. Handsome, rich and a gentleman. On the surface that is.

Been baited by this A grade piece of... more>> meat, she willingly submits to his BS, even though she says no to the things he does to her, she will forgive him every damn time for crossing boundaries; and damn he crosses a lot of them.

And he even plays a terrible soft and hard/push and pull game. Pretentiously acting nice or pitiful but flips 180° the next moment, and this single digit IQ & EQ FL falls for it hook line and sinker.

To call it romance is really far fetched here but as a smut novel or weird p*rn script it would actually tick off a lot of kinks that you don't see often and pulls it off well.

The author definitely should've taken the focus off the plot more and focused on longer smut scenes as it was otherwise was just bad romance.
Surprisingly, this novel has the first lesbian couple in the dozens of novels I've read! Both western and asian, here, it was a first. I'd say it's a damn rarity with all these yaoi and shounen ai genres around but no actual Yuri unless you go out of your way to look for it.
TL;DR verdict:

Smut is ok, can be more refined and prolonged (some parts are extremely short, 3 sentences and done kind of short, 'they started X, did X and came' kind of short).

Yeet the complete plot, it sucks.

Notes: Translation has a lotta grammar issues especially with using present tense instead of past tense and a couple typos here and there, chapters themselves are also pretty short. It's a lil bumpy ride.

Don't shame anybody's kinks, folk, it's fiction.

Just don't ever romanticize this kind of toxic relationship and bring in your kinks without your partners consent. <<less
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IloveWebNovels rated it
September 22, 2021
Status: Completed
“If you change to another person, she would never be able to stand your restrictions, being monitored every day, most people can’t stand a boyfriend like this, ” Tao Ruan paused and then continued, “But I will indulge you, I have no intention of ever leaving you. I will always be by your side, even if you pry into my privacy, it doesn’t matter to me. So, am I the best girlfriend in this world?”

Basically the novel is this. Aside from the burning smut that can make you have heatstroke.

An... more>> obsessive yandere ML x extremely tolerant doormat fl. They have a toxic relationship in my perspective. But I guess, for them, as long one tolerates the other then it would still work? Tbh, I admire the fl's broad heart. She's blinded by love that she's willing to have a somewhat restricted freedom. I think it might also because she's craving for affection considering her family environment. If I was in her shoes, I'd be too tired, mentally and emotionally exhausted. But the fl's personality fits the ML I guess. So good for them.


But the ML is such a manipulative b*tch. He's crazy insane and freaking scary.


Read this novel if you want hot stuff. But don't expect fluffy romance with rainbow ice cream. There's s*x and lust in this, but I don't feel that doki doki romance. If this is romance then damn, it's poisonous. <<less
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chande rated it
June 3, 2021
Status: Completed
This is one of the worst sm*t novel that I've ever read (so far). I know most of sm*t novel ignored the plot and focused on snu snu scene but this novel is just too much.

The characters are unlikeable (yes, I talk about you MC and ML). MC is so weak. She got manipulated over and over again by ML since she was still 6 years old. When someone revealed ML's true color to her, she wasn't angry and even felt flattered because ML did everything for her (ugh, I... more>> really want to smack her brain). She really deserves better but I also know that with her weak personality and ML's control, she won't be able to escape for the rest of her life.

And ML is so manipulative. I know he had his own trauma but what he did to MC back then was unforgivable for me.


He manipulated MC to kill her own aunt so he could escape from her aunt's prison. She was barely 6 years old at that time and had no idea about mu*der and death. When she realized what she had done, she almost lost her mind. But ML still refused to let her go and even controlled her life since then.

And don't forget about how he mole*ted her when she was still underage. Because he didn't want MC to know, he had his cousin drug MC with sleeping pills so he could do his things without MC's resistance.

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March 17, 2021
Status: --
They have a very toxic relationship. If you wanna read this, be prepared to be frustrated by the MC. She can't stand with her own decisions as if her brain is just sitting prettily on top of her head.

I guess you can call the ML psychotic and obsessive. It wasn't clear how he monitors her (maybe he tapped her electronics or something) but he uses it to manipulate her.
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rosie bae
rosie bae rated it
March 24, 2021
Status: Completed
Plot is intriguing. Snu snu scenes are detailed. If you are not into possessive love interest it is not your cup of tea.

ML is yandare which type I somehow attracted. Whereas MC is easy to tamed.

i wonder how he managed to control her dream.


ML was abducted when he was young. He detested touch by women. And he has erectile dysfunction which somehow MC cured after that ML throughly enjoying s*x with MC.


it ended where am I gonna find my daily doses ??
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bakarutt rated it
March 6, 2021
Status: c58
I would rate this higher if the FL wasn't so easily manipulated by the ML, or if the author provided more explanation on the characters' background/personalities - specifically the FL; I can understand keeping the ML mysterious, but since the story is from the FL's POV, I would like to know more about her other than that she's pretty, she likes the ML because he's good-looking (as far as I can tell), and she's feeling complicated with her s*xual desires being stronger than the rest of her brain.

As of c58,... more>> the plot so far and what's revealed about the characters so far are not my cup of tea. <<less
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JewledHu3 rated it
May 30, 2021
Status: --
First of all I have no clue how this has 5 stars. This is bottom of the barrel smut, the plot doesn't really make sense, the s*x even less so, and the character interaction is aggravating and a large cause of irritation. If the smut was good I could see this getting stars but no. I'm not even gonna pretend this was good. I'm sorry but for the majority of the beginning chapters everything is a violation and brings no joy. She doesn't wanna be there, doesn't see them as... more>> wet dreams and immerses herself in it, she honestly doesn't wanna be there and tbh neither did I. If I could give o stars I would. <<less
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Lazyhazy rated it
June 22, 2021
Status: Completed
I came here for smut, not for some deep dark plot. So I think it deserves my full 5⭐ for its mature genre. 3/4rth part of novel is Snu snu part and it's too damn hot and sexy. Remaining 1/4th of the novel has interesting and dark plot to the story. ML is yandere and I was really attracted by him. He is gentle and caring but when needed he can also be fierce and controlling too. FL is a perfect fit for yandere ML because she can tolerate ml's... more>> overbearing behavior. They are like a perfect couple. <<less
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Wang Feng
Wang Feng rated it
February 27, 2021
Status: Completed
It's my cup of tea. Cuz y not


ML is an expert in stalking and harassing the FL. Lol
It was more interesting to read outside of dreams as some dreams are so cringy. And the contrast of ML's behaviour towards the FL in dreams and reality are so interesting.😂 It's fun to read as his behaviour in dreams became reality in the later chapters.

When his erectile dysfunction got treated and papapa with FL, his mom saw them doing that. (Lmao) And she enthusiastically treated the FL with so much care like her own daughter.😂😂😂

The FL got to know all the things he did in the past but choose to ignore it and accept him.


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hewgo10 rated it
February 6, 2021
Status: c120
I was very curious of the plot and want to know who did it to FL and how he done it with what technology? However when I found who and what drive him to do it I just laugh. (I should not laugh, but I was kind of jaw drop) After he got it cured they just went on xxx every chapters which made me think of hamsters mating. 😂. It a fun read.
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sunnyflowers rated it
May 24, 2021
Status: c141
1. If you want a good plot, this novel is questionable. Good is subjective, I think it was pretty good if you are looking simply for smut content. Again let me re-emphasize simple smut enjoyment. This means you can ignore the red flags you would see in a toxic relationship. If so, this read might be a good fit for you. And I say might. LMAO.

2. These two characters explore so many different positions and fetishes that I had to research whether or not it was safe and turns out... more>> yes it’s somewhat safe.

peeing in the v*gina lmao it’s safe if both individuals don’t have any diseases that can be contracted and if the v*gina is not sensitive to the change of pH


And yes there are other fetishes and weird shit. Please read the tags!

3. The translator is pretty amazing. Great translation, you’ll be able to enjoy the fluidity of the writing.

This is probably like 95% smut driven and 5% plot, most chapters are smut. They’re pretty good in my opinion only if you can ignore the red flags. Though the ending

Tao Ruan accepts all the toxic sh*t and red flags lmao

she even said she’s the perfect gf because she wants to be controlled and be f*cked the way Gu Zhizhou desires.

Again this entire relationship is very twisted lmao


let me repeat. This novel depicts a toxic and really twisted novel with HE. I hope you’ll enjoy it! I actually will be missing waiting for an update for this novel. It was a fun read while it lasted. Haha alright try it out and see where your limits are if you’re still hesitating. 😉 <<less
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Nom de Plume
Nom de Plume rated it
May 14, 2021
Status: c74
I started this novel with zero expectations: I intended to skim the first few chapters and move on. Instead I made it to chapter 74 before taking a break. The author fully branded this as a smut novel yet managed to make me look at their work seriously despite some obvious trigger-worthy content.


• Dreams (?) about R*pe

... more>> • Deviant s*x Plays (Teacher/Student, NTR, 3P, etc)

• Deviant s*x Practices (Dubcon, Golden Shower, etc)

• A new variety of s*x every chapter


This novel managed to find the elusive balance between smut and plot scenes as well as effectively tie together smut and psychological genres. I believe the author’s success on this front is primarily due to their use of the episodic ‘monster of the week’ approach for the plotline of each chapter. Secondly, the target of both the ‘romance’ and ‘mystery’ aspects of each genre are tied to the same primary character.
Other Boons:

• Side Characters are relevant; they have backstories, love interests of their own, realistic emotions, conflicts, and even drive the plot occasionally

• MC is an aware yet pliant character; intelligent enough to pick up on clues but eventually willing to play along with even the most ridiculous scenarios

• The story starts off on the worst foot by completing the most trigger-worthy scene out of the way first (mind r*pe? dream r*pe?)

• major characters dealing with real s*xual performance issues (ED, Premature Ejaculation, etc)

• the use of virtual reality combined with a two-faced yandere allow the author to explore every smut trope from rough to gentle... WITHOUT departing from character settings

• the futuristic technology is left vague on purpose with just a few smatterings of clues

• Smut is actually kept pretty short making even objectionable content digestible

• The plot is focused on the psychological aspect of the story: ie character motivations and development. The smut becomes a plot device to have the readers raise questions while trying to suss out the answers. just enough plot is revealed to keep the readers invested

virtual tech clues and extrapolations:


• the tech is originally meant for holographic game design

• end users must be asleep during use

• this sleep can most likely be induced (several scenes hint that she wasn’t sleepy before being pulled into the simulation and the transition to reality and back is very smooth)

• pain is an unreliable indicator of reality

• the tech has an undetermined range thus far, it’s not limited to the MC falling asleep in her bed.
• if the tech is not installed in potential surroundings, it’s most likely installed directly onto the players

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White Head Ice Prince
White Head Ice Prince rated it
February 25, 2021
Status: c43
This is a classic case of came for the smut, stayed for... Well a lot of things. (I actually came for this kick-ass name) The author wanted to put meng and smut into the same novel but those two don't really go together so it's all beautifully held together by the difference between the fabric of "dream" and "reality"

Disclaimer : r*pe (in case you're too lazy to check the tags)

Basic Plot :

... more>>

ML bangs (frequently without concent, in all sorts of kinky ways) MC in her dreams while courting her irl.

MLis A++ boyfriend material in real life, gentle, considerate all that bs but a pe*verted psycho in dreams, first you'd think ML is pretending to be nice irl but then you just think he has split personality disorder


Usually in this type of thing MC is a total brainless child for falling for ML but somehow I can understand her POV (a little). And I guess that's what gives this smutty novel so much more depth than others. There's a lot of mystery too about the ML.


MC tries her hardest to avoid getting r*ped initially and after finding out it was a dream there's not really much you can do. And before she can even do much she finds out the dude is her crush. So she kinda moves with the mentality of "I understand you have a mental problem but you're gentle irl so I'll put up with your psycho problem in dreams" but when she suspects ML doesn't actually like her, is only using her for sex/ the kinky fantasies ML does are more than her mental health can handle - she's determined enough to try and break all contact with ML (not like she can but hey kudos for trying)


ML is super loyal btw as reassured by Translator-dare. Novel lost that last Star because ML lost that 'consent'

You can try it out. Translations pretty fast. <<less
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Dammy-chan rated it
September 19, 2021
Status: Completed
Kinda ok for me, im in it for the smut, less for the plot. FL is the submissive no backbone type I guess, I have some small complaints with their personalities but its bearable to read. ML was not what he seemed 😉
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deercapitate rated it
March 3, 2023
Status: Completed
Pretty nonsensical smut. Also incredibly heavy on on the r*pe so be used to seeing the MC say no and cry every few paragraphs.

The dream mechanic is almost explored in an interesting way but is abandoned surprisingly early. Even if the ML's insane refractory period makes it all feel like a bad dream

As everyone one else has said the MC has the forgiveness and patience (and s*upidity) of a literal saint
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Bookworm_Sueweetie rated it
March 12, 2022
Status: Completed
Some scenes especially the first few chapters were quite disturbing... however, I stayed bc of the mysteriousness of ML. The smut scenes were quite hot and sometimes creepy but nonetheless enjoyable to read.

The relationship of the leads was actually full of dark secrets. However, they indulged and met on common ground that their relationship was quite peaceful bc the FL chose the path of "ignorance is a bliss" and "living in the present". Some may dislike FL's weak-mindedness but her personality suited the ML's unpredictableness & yandere characteristics creating a... more>> bubble for them to live blissfully.

Sadly, many questions remained unanswered like how the virtual world works, etc. <<less
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