I Want to be Alone, Beautifully


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Xu Jiao, the terrifying stepmother-like author of dog-blood plots, has made countless pits in her life, and finally suffered retribution for the deaths of the protagonist in her books.

System: “Since the content of your article does not conform to the core socialist values, please cooperate with the system to make corrections.”

Xu Jiao: “I am going to change it! I am going to change it! You don’t have to throw me into the book?”

Scene one.

System: “The heroine in front was bullied by a neighbor at the corner. Please help in time so that she can feel the care and love of socialism.”

Xu Jiao: “I know this question. As long as I show up in front of her to scare away the gangsters, I will become her best friend from then on.”

Soon after, the system: “Successfully saves the heroine, gains +1 for favorability and +1 for blackening.”

Xu Jiao: “…? Blackening?”

Scene two.

System: “The heroine in front is harassed by a domineering boss, please help in time.”

Xu Jiao: “I will do this too! As long as I help her get out of the clutches, drive away the villains, and then tell her what true love is…”

System: “Successfully saved the heroine, get favorability +50, blackening value +50, open the black lotus route——”

System: “Sorry to inform you that the final rectification failed.”

Xu Jiao shivered as she watched the approaching female host with a blackened aura, “Don’t tell me… I, I, I have to run first!”

Associated Names
One entry per line
Related Series
After the Full-Level Boss is Reborn (1)
Clear and Muddy Loss of Love (1)
Fangsi (1)
Female General And Eldest Princess (1)
I, Qing Huan (1)
Little White Lotus’ Record of Courting Disaster (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Baihe (Translations in hiatus) List A
  2. the best CN yuri novels in the world
  3. Yuri novels for my soul
  4. gl, wlw books
  5. GL NOVEL #1

Latest Release

Date Group Release
10/07/21 Baihe MTL Translations c45
06/29/21 xi4olongbao c7
06/24/21 xi4olongbao c6
06/08/21 Baihe MTL Translations c44
06/05/21 Baihe MTL Translations c43
06/05/21 Baihe MTL Translations c42
05/29/21 Baihe MTL Translations c41
05/28/21 Baihe MTL Translations c40
05/27/21 xi4olongbao c5
05/27/21 Baihe MTL Translations c39
05/26/21 Baihe MTL Translations c38
05/25/21 Baihe MTL Translations c37
05/24/21 xi4olongbao c4
05/24/21 Baihe MTL Translations c36
05/23/21 Baihe MTL Translations c35
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8 Reviews sorted by

blazingseraph rated it
April 10, 2021
Status: Completed
Translator here! This story is a quick transmigration novel where the MC has to go through the books she herself wrote to save the heroines from their tragic fate. The reason why she has to do that? Well the MC likes to write abusive and tragic stories where the heroine has to go through a life of pain before ending in tragedy. That pissed off her readers and so the system is taking her through to fix the endings. That's just the surface reason of course, the real reason is... more>> something that is revealed later, and it's a much sadder reason that honestly made me cry.

I'll put a word of warning for the romance though. It's very toxic in the first few worlds. The relationship between author and heroine is very strained considering the abuse the heroine went through in the original plot. The heroine has the same soul through each world and she blackens in most of them despite the MC's intervention. That's deliberate and is essentially revenge for the suffering the heroine went through.

Despite how bad their relationship is in the beginning, it's the journey to the end that really moved me. The MC grows from the cold and apathetic self in the beginning to finally living happily in the end. The heroine rediscovers herself and they reach a happy ending through their trials and tribulations. I think it's pretty inspirational but you have to read it to the end or else you might hate it based on what it seems on the surface.

This novel is probably in my top 5 favorite baihe novels so give it a try. <<less
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RozuArison rated it
April 21, 2021
Status: Completed

This is a slow burn romance, so you need a lot of patience when reading this novel. Don't worry because your long wait will be fulfilling. Hmm... I don't think this novel is for the weak heart. The start is quite messy and sad but it gave a bunch of guilty pleasure HAHAHHAHA! At first, the female lead is obssessed towards the Main Character while the MC is cold and apathetic towards her.... more>> So just imagine how toxic their relationship is. However, it will get better as the story goes. The MC will slowly notice and love our FL.

I assure you that every arc is very interesting, but of course you'll have a favorite. The author will insert plot twist every now and then, so you wouldn't be able to stop reading it. You'll be more invested if you love yanderes xD the FL is yandere asf when she reaches 100% blackening lol.

Anyways, the writing style of the author is so beautiful 🥺 She uses flowery words, and you can tell how good she is. (Note: She uses flowery words during NSFW scenes too *drools*)
Brief Summary:

The MC was forced by the system to change the ending of mc's abusive novels. She followed the system's instructions, but unexpectedly, the heroines were still blackening. What's more, all of them became obsessed with her.

*tut* Yandere detected

I want to add spoilers, but I don't want to ruin the story LMAO. I'll just put a brief description for every arc

Bridal chamber with you: (cultivation world) The MC is the senior sister of FL

Green Plum: (modern society) The MC is the top 1 gangster of the school while the FL is just a poor girl

Don't want to get divorced: (omegaverse) The MC (omega) and FL (alpha) are actresses, and they are married.

Your preference: The MC is a god, and she favors the FL

My wife: (Horror) The MC became the wife of a ghost (FL).

Give you the country: (Historical) The FL is the female general and regent who controls the country, and she chose the MC as future emperor.

See you at first (Ending) : The truth will be revealed.

A story about happiness: (Fanwai) The MC tried to make up her past mistakes in the first worlds.


I love yanderes, so I enjoyed this even though it hurts to read the first arcs XD The NSFW scenes are intense too *nosebleeds* <<less
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DX5536 rated it
May 6, 2021
Status: c12
Currently reading this and so far it's very good.

If you want a full fluff story, you probably won't find it here. In fact, the MC is a real d*ck at the beginning but throughout the story, we understand her motivation and character more and more. I gotta say, our MC sure loves to write torture p*rn xD I probably can't read her works if they are real cuz I'm such a soft bean lmao.
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Gayle rated it
December 4, 2021
Status: --
tr*sh. This is the conclusion I've come to after reading only a few chapters. That doesn't mean the story as a whole is tr*sh. I've not read enough chapters to make that judgement. But it sure does start out as tr*sh.

We have here a yandere who has abducted the object of her obsession: her cold and ascetic senior sister. In order to be regarded by her senior sister as something more than some pitiful thing that needs to be rescued time and time again, the yandere has decided to abduct... more>> her savior and forcefully leave an impression on her heart. I could complain about the logic or the morality here, but this is a yandere character and that would be missing the point. The real problem here is that both the characters and the abuse one inflicts upon the other are uninteresting.

We've seen these characters before. The first, a writer with bad taste who transmigrates into her own story to change the fate of a character. The second, A woman who fails to gain the affection of her savior and decides to abduct her instead. Neither of them are particularly interesting outside of the fact that the former has been abducted and is being mentally and sexually abused by the latter. To put it another way, they just feel like vehicles to play out the fantasy.

But the fantasy is also lacking. It seems that the author wants to rely on titillation to carry the story but also doesn't want to write smut outright. So in the story we see the beginnings of something s*xual occurring and then we fade to black and skip ahead. In many cases, this would be fine. We don't need detailed s*x scenes if the interesting part of the story are not the s*x scenes but the consequences of the s*x scenes. But even the aftermath is boring. The idea is that the yandere is slowly whittling away the resistance of her captive. But it never really feels like that. The victim's thoughts are elsewhere. She wants to complete her mission and go home. She was abducted, had her cultivation destroyed, and is being s*xual abused. Even so, she gives no f*cks. Even after her torture, her thoughts and concerns do not change. Even when her captor successfully provokes a response from her, it is always a misunderstanding or, even worse, an out of character response for the sake of the fantasy. As a result, the story comes off as a step removed from smut, only without the s*x scenes that make smut worth reading.

But it isn't all terrible. The prose, at least in xi4olongbao's translation, is better quality than you will find in most stories on this site. But that just means it is tr*sh written by someone that knows how to put a bit of artistry in their words. I think this story will probably become better over time. But I haven't enjoyed my time reading it so far. <<less
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Altair545 rated it
September 26, 2021
Status: Completed
My god what a ride this novel was, its full of growth and life lessons that can really hit you hard, its all about letting go of your past no matter how beautiful it seems and learn to face your present head on, its about being able to forge connections and fall in love even when you're scared what the future might bring.

This truly is a great read and I really want to give it 5 stars but I just can't the beginning is just too brutal you see.

The MC... more>> we follow here is truly someone you'll resent for a while when reading this, the decisions she makes are just so god damned f*cked that I really wanted to beat the sh*t out of her lol, like guys really this woman is cold-hearted and the first worlds are very damn painful to read through, especially so cuz the author here is a great writer and they really detail all the thoughts our MC goes through when living out her life you really get a sense of just how detached and uninterested she is from everything.

Now this actually has a great explanation and reveal but I really think author went way too ham on letting us see what a piece of sh*t MC is and kept her character too cold-blooded for too long, I think if they'd have started injecting a bit of humanity to our MC earlier on the pacing of her growth would be more believable and less of a painfest to read through but hey, I still think her development is really good but MC being so brutal really weighed heavily on me.

But again the reveals later on are just soooo good and the growth MC has is just muah "chef's kiss" amazing also adding in a certain aspect was just so perfect, like its so rarely usefully and believable used that I just had to tip my fedora to the author, MC is actually well I don't want to spoil it cuz it was a good reveal but I know if I had known this earlier I'd been more forgiving of our MC so yeah our MC is

autistic, yeah I know how weird hu? You don't really get to see such a topic explored in this type of way and especially so in a Chinese novel but it really makes so much sense and explains a lot, and when you get to see exactly how that played out.... Ohhh boy be prepared for some heavy feels


By the end im sure most people will love her and understand her just like me lol, just give it some time to let her grow a heart (Which like really kinda applies to this poor woman), I know some people hate the "just keep reading it gets better" but bro really don't let the MC from the beginning discourage you to keep reading the payoff is absolutely worth it, she's a frosty logical woman that calculates everything and always puts herself first, shes ruthless to others but even more to herself and she's just trying to live out her sweet memories without interruption from some shady system, but when something finally gets through her thick barrier and touches her heart? Well:

The most passionate are the most ruthless, and the most ruthless are the most dedicated.

Also a small detail I liked was that MC's writter background actually meant something and it wasn't just a plot point that never mattered, at various points MC figures stuff out cuz she's like "ohhh yeah I'd definitely write this sort of stuff like this" and shes rihgt lol, smells those cliches from a mile away.

Our FL also has some problems, and well while I blind myself to hers cuz I really empathize with her and really want to see her happy the stuff she does in some of the worlds is also quite f*cked but bro all these problems stem from our MC and well I can't really reveal much cuz I really don't want to spoil such a great character but just know she's a really lovable girl, her core personality is a gentle, sweet, helpful girl that no matter how bleak things are will always want to be a positive person.

Man I loved her so damn much and like the stuff MC does to her is just..... Now I know just because someone loves you it doesn't mean you should love them back but the way author implemented her love here is just..... Like damn I really don't want to spoil anything cuz all the reveals are so damn good lol, just know our FL is a complete sweetheart, she deserves all the happiness in the world lol, like really no matter how bad things get shes always wanting to stay positive and try to make MC happy and you really want to cheer her on, even the weird stuff she's doing is understandable, she's not really a yandere at all just very unstable in various ways that are spoilers, I could smell her reasoning from a mile away cuz I've read a lot of stories like this but the way her character played out was still great.

Man and again the overarching story is really good but all the different worlds are also decently developed and interesting enough, especially so for a world hopping novel where they're usually pretty bare-bones, they'll all have their own small but interesting side cast introduced and explored a bit, and something that I really liked is that previous worlds actually matter, such an overlooked aspect from world hopping author's to actually make the skills our characters learn in previous worlds matter but here its brought up acouple of times and that really satisfied me lol.

Bro again I gotta stress how sad those first worlds are, the fate of our FL from world 2 guys? Man I let out some tears with her ending....

why didn't you eat her birthday cake MC you piece of sh*t lol, and our FL slowly going insane.... It was so f*cking painful to read through bro, and im not exaggerating here FL really has so much mental problems due to MC's indifference and the horrible situation shes in that she turns schitzofrenic by the end and it was extremely depressing just seeing her fall farther at the end she doesn't believe MC is by her side in a certain situation and its so heartbreaking....


And well actually author goes pretty in-depth in some worlds with some things that feel kinda useless and it hurt the pacing a bit cuz world 3 is the mandatory entertainment circle world and just like this review its way too long bro author went too ham on useless entertainment circle life stuff there, world 4 as well has this made-up religion were the author went into a bit too much detail in meaningless stuff lol, world 3 was fine but world 4 definitely dragged out, from world 5 onwards its pure goodness though.

Also you really gotta be paying attention cuz author implements a lot of the themes and emotions from our main pair into the background, like in world 3 the movie theyre filming parallels in a sense the state of our characters, same with the weird religion in world 4 everything parallels the mental, emotional and even the existence itself of our characters, yeah I know weird but trust me it makes sense.

The relationship of our main pair is slow and full of thorns but god dammit its a damn good one, and the ending man, my god that last world was just one great reveal after another, it ties up everything so good and leaves you deeply satisfied which was so rare lol, Chinese novels usually have half assed endings and world hopping/system novels? They're almost always confusing, rushed and unsatisfying, but here man, its definitely not perfect but again everything you wanted answered is answered lol and the mysterious unanswered parts are actually on purpose and not just cuz its a rushed job.

You'll really empathize with MC so much lol like the previous 2 worlds really make you warm up to her and understand her circumstances a bit but when you get to that final world, bro its a feelsfest.

I myself actually smelled most of the plot points from very early on, I had a pretty good idea how it'd end and I was pretty much on point, but it was still executed pretty excellently so it was quite cathartic seeing it all come together.

Ending really could have used 1 extra chapter though just to really tie in everything together more beautifully but well again it was very satisfying, the reveals for our MC's way of life, our FL, the system, everything we've been following is concluded in a great manner.

Now this one is actually a heavy spoiler kind of on the system so read at your own risk, very meaningful and meaningless at the same time lol

I'm actually quite happy the system is just a good system that was programmed to bring couples who were good people but had sad endings together, like bro that's so rare lol, theyre always shady things waiting for you to let your guard down and MC being a tragedy writter is ready for some big evil reveal from the system but no, she really was just a good system lol and I loved that.


But like really

bro what happened to the mom? Was the "real world" changed? Just who created the system lol? Why did it tell our main pair they'd understand in the future? Will our pair meet again even without the system? It really felt like the system was created by FL the author really teased that but that'd create a grandfather paradox no? Some details are just not explored and while some are purposeful others are the series needing that 1 final epilogue chapter but well again im still very happy were it ended.


Now this really is more like half a review and half me just ranting and venting my emotions but guys this one really is a heavy experience full of ups and downs and a bunch of negative and positive emotions, I loved most of it but hated some of it, definitely unique and very well written and it'll stay with you for a while a big 9/10.


Found out theres actually an epilogue and an extra arc and it was..... Mhmhmh idk lol satisfying but disappointing, like the epilogue was way too short and it focused on something that kinda ruined the magic.


I was quite happy with the system staying a mystery in the end with some clues to what was going on, but in the epilogue author half-assed some reason that makes -10% sense, really one of those cases were no explanation and letting the audience figure it out is a better option, since its one short chap everything is just lightly touched on and feels unsatisfying tbh I just preferred the regular ending more full of mystery and charm


And the extras really feel like some wholseome fanservice lol, kind of undermine the main story but they're quite a wholseome note to end on.


so now living in their original worldMC goes back to rewrite her books to give her heroines a happier ending, falls asleep and is actually transported back to the first world were she has a lot of regrets of what went down, so she acts like the lover FL always wanted and gives her a HE and procedes to travel to world 2 then world 3 to do the same, its quite quick and short chaps so theyre not really that satisfying but well it still put a smile on my face to see the melancholic heroines of past worlds get their HE, especially heroine from world 2


Well sometimes the real endings of Chinese stories are hidden in the "extras" but here they really are just a nice side story, original ending had all the real emotional weight behind it and these are just funny extras. <<less
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AngelKnighz2lips rated it
May 20, 2021
Status: c23
I think I'm jumping the gun too fast in thinking about what might be the relationship is between the MC and the FL even though I've just read a few chapters in ever since I started reading this story (QAQ). Because of the heart-wrenching/confusion created by our two main lead in the story, I have a gut feeling of what might the relationship is between the MC and FL is. Also, I haven't read the mtl for this story, but I will after marathoning this story's chapters.

Besides this, the slow... more>> burn though! I-I feel like the pace of the story is nice and cozy? And the way it's going is flowing enough that I will always hold my breath whenever there's this "fuwa fuwa" moment between the MC and the FL, and especially when the MC starts being indifferent towards the FL; that's a total torment.

I-I don't even know... my heart is confused (T-T), but I'm somehow liking how the author plotted everything out just by the beginning of the story.

5/5!!! XD <<less
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duobussignis rated it
May 3, 2021
Status: c1
Looks good so far. I'm currently waiting to see where this story is headed. Until then, review will be 5.
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Inco Writ
Inco Writ
June 24, 2021
Status: c33
I reached the end of the Green Plum arc. Damn, when things was about to get better. I will continue reading after I settle my emotional turmoil from this arc and once the third arc is completely translated.

I dislike MC at first because of her half-hearted attitude towards the FL. I also pitied and disliked the FL because of her sometimes (toxic - blackened) devotion to the MC.

It was a toxic relationship between them which gradually changes as the story progresses. Slow-burn and you need to be patient and understanding... more>> when reading if you wish to enjoy. <<less
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