I Have a Secret


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Huang Dan’s sensation of pain is innately different from ordinary people. The littlest tear in his skin can cause him to sweat all over his body in pain, to the point where he is unable to say a word.

Somehow, he began to cross through different worlds, following Mr. System to complete tasks…

In the first world, Huang Dan realizes what it means to be in such pain as to die, live, and die again.

Associated Names
One entry per line
Related Series
Quick Transmigration: I’m Almost Dead (Shared Universe)
Don’t Pick Up Boyfriends From the Trash Bin (3)
Spring Trees and Sunset Clouds (3)
Seizing Dreams (2)
Kaleidoscope of Death (2)
I’m Not Shouldering This Blame (1)
Reborn as My Love Rival’s Wife (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Did Someone Say BL?
  2. Wanna Read Next
  3. [BL/shounen-ai] my novel list/current reads
  4. Big Book of BLs - QT, World Hopping, and Infinite ...
  5. BL & Danmei Haven

Latest Release

Date Group Release
12/31/20 BluelightTL c36
12/24/20 BluelightTL c35
12/22/20 BluelightTL c34
12/14/20 BluelightTL c33
08/26/20 BluelightTL c32
08/18/20 BluelightTL c31
08/10/20 BluelightTL c30
08/04/20 BluelightTL c29
07/27/20 BluelightTL c28
07/21/20 BluelightTL c27
05/21/20 Isohungry Translations c26
12/19/19 rrrrhexia c25
12/05/19 rrrrhexia c24
11/15/19 rrrrhexia c23
11/04/19 rrrrhexia c22
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16 Reviews sorted by

Whitesky rated it
April 1, 2019
Status: Completed
I only recently finished reading this novel in Chinese and its still fresh in my mind.

This is one of the best danmei novels I have read and one of the reasons is its very atypical.

It is a quick transmigration novel but different from all other ones I have seen. In each the MC has to solve a mystery: usually murders, robberies etc. The MC is extremely calm and seemingly emotionless but in fact isn't at all. Please read on as I explain.

All the way until maybe the very last arc,... more>> the storylines are quite realistic... in the first arc both MC and ML are ordinary villagers, in another they're housemates in a shared house, even the one where the MC is a rich young master in a historical setting he doesn't have much power and is restrained by the realities of his time. Hence there is no overpowered MC and ML in any of the arcs. The only one approaching the unrealistic setting of most danmei is perhaps the last arc and their real lives howver even that is more realistic than most.

Because of this realism, the writers writing style is the closest approaching literary that I have seen in a BL novel. Her style is extremely restrained but at the same time makes the emotions stronger. Ill give you an example. In the entire first arc the MC's feelings for the ML are never described. Its clear that the ML is desperately in love with the MC but MC who is lacking in emotions just seems to be going along with it. But in the second arc when MC constantly recalls things about the ML such as the brand of cigarettes that he used, you come to realize through his actions how deep his love was.

The love story between the two is super super epic. All the more so because they are ordinary people. Oh the MC is always described as extremely good looking if that helps haha, but his position in life is ordinary mostly. However his love for MC isn't and as you keep reading, you find out how much the MC loves him too.

Sometimes the mystery each arc is a bit mundane and resolved somewhat quickly but doesnt detract from the atmospheric strength of the novel. The secondary characters are all sooo realistic and I have to give props for the realistic portrayal of women: from the sister-in-law with a university education trapped in a village, to the prostitute with a seemingly careless attitude towards her life.

Warning that I think 70% of the arcs have sad endings as MC cannot control when/how he exits each world, and several of them had me breaking down in tears. The final ending is very happy though and the last parts/arc are probably the only fairytale/unrealistic parts of the novel. But thats okay. Who doesnt love a happy ending. Particularly with how gruelling it was to get there.

Please give this novel a chance. Its extremely atmospheric and for those who enjoy light/fluffy/fairytale type BL may find it hard to digest at first. But if you give it a chance you will find a hidden gem that you will come back to time and time again. <<less
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redxx rated it
April 1, 2019
Status: c50
A more realistic BL world hopping with no OP MC and likeable ML.

Story started with MC being transmigrated into another world where he took on the body of a farmer and tries to solve who murdered his fellow villager. There's something wrong with MC's nervous system so he tends to experience more pain then the rest if he ever get injured.

MC's bland reactions will be explained.

... more>>

and I thought it will be very angsty due to his nervous system but I was wrong !!! MC is such a tease.


So far until chapter 25 in term of the story (no spoilers) :

Story's quite paced, not too rush nor exceeding slow as each chapter revealed different possibilities.

The author did a fantastic job of writing each characters! Really brings me so feels? Especially ML, I am not even sure why but his character is really appealing. One of the best ML I ever read. (My humble opinion)

In term of romance,

Currently 2 arcs in, MC and ML's interactions being adorable and real. No straightaway falling in love and jumping to bed, but though cause and effect, especially in the case of ML.

But somehow, to me, it give of the feeling of eating a candy laced with blades in it. Especially

When it so obvious ML loved MC, you can really see it in both arcs but what bout MC? But author havent never written any obvious signs of MC loving ML, feel like MC is loving for the sake of loving. Thats what the first 2 arcs revealed. But, in the end, I am pretty sure MC love ML alot. Like how he thought about ML's smell, and how he stayed by ML's side til he die, very subtle hints hanging in the writing.


The ending of the second arc.........

reminds me of ending of the second arc in how to die as heavy as mount tai ahahahahaha WTF why is it so sad..


PLUS POINT : text always describe ML as a hottie %

I love this story alot. <<less
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DhiVhi rated it
May 17, 2019
Status: Completed
This is one of the most amazing fast wear danmei that I've read.

Just like the reviewer before me, there is no OP MC/ML. So, MC really used his brain to solve the misteries. In here ML doesnt act as golden finger but a great supporting role in helping MC. Really satisfying and somewhat cute seeing MC & ML interaction and how MC always like to see ML butt every first time they met ?. Not all of the arc is HE but the way the author conclude each arc is... more>> really good & I also crying so hard in some moment where MC & ML has to separate.

All in all, this is a really great danmei & I think one of the danmei who worthy to have a title 'Must Read' for every danmei sect <<less
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BaiYihan rated it
April 4, 2020
Status: c25
I like how the MC's nervous system is broken. I just didn't feel like it was interesting. The plot couldn't hold my attention at all, it was boring. The arcs were really long and there was no excitement. I felt nothing while reading it.
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earlgreyt rated it
January 15, 2020
Status: Completed
I give very few 5 stars on this site... This is the only other 5 star QT novel I've read on NU.

... more>>

The first one being [Don't Pick Up Boyfriends From the tr*sh Bin].


Unfortunately I can only say that the original author's writing is very beautiful and immersive, so don't judge the book by the translation.

I would treat this with thoughtfulness; a slice-of-life, a character study of the MC, a philosophical exploration of the meaning of "being human, " but with some action around mystery-solving/catching-the-culprit attached. This novel takes time to understand, so this is NOT for impatient readers looking for a quick fix or instant gratification.

Unlike every other QT, this one doesn't have many elements of fantasy/sci-fi. The writing is more literary and the genre approaches magical realism or historical with a bit of the supernatural.

With the QT task/mystery as the backdrop, the real focus of this novel is a study on human nature and human relationships. The main character is forced to truly experience life in that moment.

Because of that, the viscerality of the settings that the MC goes through are extraordinarily thorough and fleshed out. You truly feel the situation, the grittiness, the ugliness and the good, the hidden parts of humanity through the protagonist's eyes.


That's not to say the worlds aren't interesting. The mysteries are pretty exciting and different from what you'd find in 99% of other QT novels.


I must emphasize: The protagonist's character development is incredible. But it's very gradual.

He doesn't have any special skills. In fact, he kind of reminds me of those "idiot savants."


He's an incredibly good math/computing genius, but has no understanding of people. He's awful at interacting with other people or even remembering anything about them. He's lived life almost completely removed from allowing any people to get close to him or being understood by others.

So with these non-existent observation skills and negative EQ, he has to suddenly learn and observe his surroundings for the first time ever in order to complete his tasks. Extremely difficult!


The story is driven by the romance, but the platonic relationships are also really well done. It goes from the MC not understanding people and people not understanding him to him actually opening up and making friends.

The novel emphasizes that the ML doesn't have to be "ultra rich/secret-prince/company-CEO/top-of-the-world/best-at-everything/perfect personality" in order to be an awesome ML. He has a lot of antagonism, bad habits, and sharp points too, but he and MC simply fit.


They start out closer to enemies/rivals/fellow suspects in each world and the MC frequently has to be the one to court the ML (it's very fluffy and cute).


Anyway, other than the sliiiiightly off-kilter epilogue, the main story is pretty amazing. Each experience builds upon the next and the MC (and his relationships) slowly become transformed.

Translation: The translator feels rather new so I had to stop reading after a few chapters because stuff didn't make sense and the flow was off (and the translation was super super literal which messed with the original author's writing). I ended up reading the raws, which I know not everyone can do...

Highly recommend if you like character-driven stories, vivid settings, and mystery-solving a la police detectives! <<less
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ylial rated it
May 16, 2019
Status: c25
Great story. MC has hyperalgesia. The task given to him by system is to solve d cases on each arcs. I like the ML too, not the usual overbearing president that can be found in every danmei stories but is still reliable and good looking ??

The story arc1 killer is somewhat predictable except

cousin zhang is accomplice of cui Ling. Also the mc's mother past in the arc1

and the "past stories".

will rerate after I finish the story
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Doytch Magient
Doytch Magient rated it
September 3, 2019
Status: --
I simply love the cp, ML was so sweet and shameless lol a lil bit tsundere too. The system didn't require MC to die after he finished his job, and didn't tell him not to love ML as long as he didn't OOC. The part I love the most is the lewd scene was written very ero-ero well, and it's cute everytime MC told ML not to hm hm.... (lol it's kiss what did you think;3) too hard and started dropping tears bcs it's very painful to him. Aaaaagh too... more>> cute. Too sweet. Simply Pit of dog foods?. <<less
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softmatcha rated it
January 18, 2020
Status: c24
I can only give my opinion on the first arc (I probably won't continue any further).

It's worth giving a try; a breath of fresh air for readers who want something outside the standard mold in this genre.

Ultimately though, being unconventional doesn't mean the writing is exceptional. The storytelling is simplistic and no-frills (maybe partially influenced by the translation). The author tosses a variety of ingredients in the pan: "whodunnit, " slice-of-life realism, and romance. But something about the flavor's slightly off, and the ingredients don't always work well together in this hodgepodge of Arc 1.

The "whodunnit" framework is loose in this rural, backwater village setting, it doesn't drive the story along so much as it sits in the backseat. As a result, the first arc suffers from pacing issues. I felt like it moved forward at a snail's pace at times due to the heavy-handed dose of realism.

The story tends to meander into aimless territory. World- and character-building is good when it has purpose but there was so much that made me question if the story, the setting, or characters would change at all if X or Y was omitted, especially the more repetitious manual labor tasks and mundane routines.

So the immersion is strong to varying degrees of success. I mean the slice of life was more chunk of life, to the point that I had to take a long break partway through. Lol it felt too much like visiting my grandparents' house in the boonies in Asia, which didn't lend itself well to the romance that's sprinkled throughout Arc 1 (the abundance of sweat, humid stenches, poop, more poop, and mosquitos in not the most sanitary conditions).

It doesn't help that the MC adds to the aimlessness of the experience. Not only does he make it clear to play onlooker/bystander, he almost disappears into the backdrop of the village setting. He observes and takes in information, but he more often stumbles upon or gets drawn toward clues rather than takes matters into his own hands.

(Also he has hyperalgesia, how did he not suffer the tortures of hell from all the mosquito bites he probably got from standing in the heat making out with ML)



Huge anticlimax when Dong Tian's mother dumps a giant monologue in the last part and reveals everything, including her involvement with the 2 other murder accomplices. That's not solving a mystery, the MC didn't earn it, and the zero payoff leaves a bad aftertaste.


Huang Dan, the MC, gave me major Du Ze (The Reader and Protagonist Definitely Have to Be in True Love) vibes with the social awkwardness and emotional reticence. I personally don't like it. Fortunately though other reviewers say that Huang Dan develops as a character so he might actually be something dimensional in later arcs, and not fall into the static trap.
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Orenge rated it
August 19, 2020
Status: c60
I really like this novel. The descriptions of the scenery and characters are really well done and it's a lot more different than what I'm used to. Sometimes the descriptions can be quite detailed (yeah.. I don't want to know where said fly or mosquito is now), which add to the realism. I really like the mysteries so far, they are very detailed and most characters are fleshed out leaving you suspecting everyone in being the culprit. Almost all characters introduced have some role in the mystery and so it... more>> leaves you wondering what their story is.

The interaction between the MC and ML is quite entertaining in that they usually don't get along to begin with and from the arcs that I've read so far, the ML falls in love with the MC through repeated interaction and not automatically.

My criticisms of the ML:


I think this section of the novel I really like.

"I forgive you"

"Forgive me? Is there any mistake?"

Because you don't know anything, so I forgive you every time of indifference, ridicule, disgust, I will not run, I will stay where you are, waiting for you to like me again, just like before.

Overall, I find it disappointing that the ML always initially makes fun of the MC for being squeamish and weak when he cries from pain, whilst the MC just states to the ML that he's "afraid of pain" but obviously this isn't the case, being afraid vs having a heightened sensitivity to pain isn't the same thing. I find it sad that in the arcs I've read so far, ML never realises that it's a condition or even considers it a possibility, I mean isn't understanding your partner I thing?, Idk. Sometimes the ML does things like pinching or biting the MC and doesn't listen when the MC says it hurts and has moments where he accidentally hurts the MC out of anger, yeah....

HOWEVER, since I'm basically in the first third of the novel, if this issue does get addressed well and ML apologises, this can be turned into a positive and then I won't have many criticism for this novel.

My overall thoughts in terms of ML's character, most of the time I actually do like him. He is really doting and isn't like the stereotypical ones in QT and CN novels where he's just an ice cube.


Overall, I highly recommend this novel. The mysteries are entertaining and the characters are unique. <<less
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April 1, 2021
Status: c39
The story is suspense like a detective story with lots of twist and turn. The first arc is truely memorable.

The second arc is good too.

I love it. I hope someone will pick up and translate this story. It's truelly nice to read.

I like this a lot. 🥰
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Melange rated it
October 25, 2020
Status: Completed
This is a fairly interesting and unique take on the QT genre, where MC's tasks revolve around solving mysteries while coincidentally meeting ML in every world. Unlike most QT novels, MC does not have any real super powers or cheats, and instead needs to rely on his problem solving abilities in order to unveil the secrets of this world.

Because he has an innocent and quirky personality, ML becomes inexplicably intertwined with MC and is usually the pursuer in most of the arcs. However, they get together slowly in each arc... more>> and there is no rush into their romance. Rather, the plot comes first and foremost. Most of the worlds do not have a happy ending and have heartbreaking resolutions.

For any potential readers, please be aware that the first arc is the longest, and probably worst arc of the novel. If you can power through it, the rest of the novel gets significantly better. All of the worlds are modern, so if you're looking for any xianxia, beast man, interstellar, or ancient arcs, look elsewhere. Despite all being modern worlds, the mysteries surrounding each task are intriguing and generally unpredictable.

Nonetheless, the overarching plot in their real world failed to deliver. It was sweet, that's for sure, but it was bland compared to the mystique of the worlds they travelled through. There isn't much closure or explanation after MC and ML got married, although it's expected that they might make cameos in future novels, should the author decide to continue the series. <<less
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lukibunny rated it
December 28, 2019
Status: c1
The stories are really interesting. They are all mysteries. Each arc is very long. The love story between the MC and the ML is very sweet and makes me cry every time because of how sweet it is. All the arcs are very well written. The only problem I find is that sometimes the MC just excepts things too easily. Like how he just went with it when the ML confesses to him.. or like how he suddenly got binded with a system and transmigrated. His reaction to both is... more>> like, Okay... Besides that the novel is really worth a read.

The worlds in this novel is really different from every transmigration I have ever read. The first 4 arcs (where I'm reading now) all take place in really poor conditions in china. It reminds me of all the old Chinese drama about poor chinese farmers. Also.. the author... seems to like to write about poop... every arc... someone is pooping or there is poop somewhere... it's odd.. <<less
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Saikick rated it
December 20, 2019
Status: c5
The novel style is very different from what I'm used to, and kind of coarse and crude in its language - but one thing I can say is that the translation is rather bad and difficult to follow. It reads more like a cleaned up MTL than an actual translation, and I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that that's what it is. (Or, perhaps, that the English comprehension level of the translator is low)

Aside from the translation and reading issues, the different style is refreshingly down to... more>> earth and reminds me more of books like Huckleberry Finn than the usual Chinese BL novels. It's a bit dry and straightforward, with little description or stream of consciousness. The mystery, as well, isn't a grand supernatural undertaking but a regular realistic incident.

I'll have to update the review when I manage to read further; hopefully the translation quality improves in later chapters. <<less
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Severe rated it
November 15, 2020
Status: c10
I don't know if it is translator's or author's way of writing (and don't know how other ppl were able to) - but anyway - I didn't understand sh*t. It is like I am reading unrelated sentences.
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SararaGold rated it
August 6, 2020
Status: Completed
I just finished the book QT:I'm almost dead before I picked this book. They are written by the same author and both of them share the same universe.

... more>>

No wonder some of the systems are so familiar when I read this book. And the protagonists of both of the books met in this book.


I like how the characters are sketched. Basically there is no OP protagonist here. The interactions between MC and ML are my favourite, mainly because MC is so frank and direct with his feeling. ML personality slightly differs in each arc, but it become the same when they're in love with MC.

About the story arcs and the plot, they are written well. I keep on guessing the suspects with their motives while I was reading this. Some arc ended so sad that I need some time before I can proceed to the next one.

In my opinion, the plot twists there and there and the characters development are the factors that made me read this book until the end. Well, I can say it was an enjoyable journey. <<less
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hakuna matata
hakuna matata rated it
December 11, 2019
Status: c24
So cute love this novel for everyone out there you must try read this story it's so realistic ML and MC not ur topical op couple but still so cute and lots of fluff
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