I Don’t Want to Be Loved

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Rihannan Alessin, a queen rotting in prison.

Despaired and without hope, she drank poison and died. But… unbeknownst to her, the deity gave her a second chance at life. She was twelve again. And this time, she would live life differently.

Six years later, she chooses to become Arundell’s queen…

“If you’re asking me to step down from the marriage proposal, I can’t.”

“Marry me and let us divorce after a year.”

And this time, the time limit of their marriage would last a year.

A husband she knew who was different than before… she tried not to love him again, but each time, her heart kept shaking.

Associated Names
One entry per line
IDWTBL
Salangbadgi Wonhaji Anhneunda
사랑받기 원하지 않는다
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
Living As the Villainess Queen (12)
Your Majesty, I Want You (9)
Under the Oak Tree (9)
Beauty of Thebes (9)
The Duke’s Imposter Sister (8)
Predatory Marriage (8)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Medieval
  2. Reading/To Read
  3. Favorite Shoujo Korean Novels
  4. Isekai
  5. Mundos entre libros

Latest Release

Date Group Release
06/04/20 wordexcerpt c104
06/03/20 wordexcerpt c103
06/02/20 wordexcerpt c102
06/02/20 wordexcerpt c101
06/01/20 wordexcerpt c100
05/31/20 wordexcerpt c99
05/30/20 wordexcerpt c98
05/29/20 wordexcerpt c97
05/28/20 wordexcerpt c96
05/27/20 wordexcerpt c95
05/26/20 wordexcerpt c94
05/25/20 wordexcerpt c93
05/23/20 wordexcerpt c92
05/22/20 wordexcerpt c91
05/22/20 wordexcerpt c90
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seleneilene
New seleneilene rated it
June 3, 2020
Status: c102
yeah, both ML and FL suck in this one!! ML takes the rebirth opportunity to manipulate FL into marrying him and is supposedly this great guy who will never hurt her again and I guess it's supposed to make up for the fact that he treated her like complete garbage in the first life?? Ok whatever!! Also the fact that this is just another example of a weak FL who puts up with a guy controlling her and ends up getting back together with the dude who hurt and raped... more>> her in her past life?? HOW CAN YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY??? <<less
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lighterxx
New lighterxx
June 3, 2020
Status: c91
I cannot continue this novel, not with Rhia being World's Most Annoying Person Ever™

To be honest, first time you listen her perspective you feel sympathetic, assuming she had no power to change things.

But one of the chapters are from Igor's perspective and you can clearly see how hard he tried to change her opinion, he asked for a sign that shows Rhia is at his side, but Rhia constantly refused, constantly supported wrong person while not even giving Igor a chance. If I were to write faults of both characters,... more>> I would write down 25% for Igor, and 75% for Rhia. I cannot handle such a pathetic female lead who was given all the freedom to make a choice, yet choose constantly wrong thing and blamed Igor for it! <<less
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Osamu Yuu
Osamu Yuu rated it
February 9, 2020
Status: --
I really like this story plot about rebirth, and I liked even more that in this novel the FL, after rebirth, has to already go against everyone and start her revenge plot.

However, there are things my stomach's too weak to handle (one of such is cheating).

I can't relate to the idea of your husband cheating on you with your sister while you're pregnant, he not even giving a sh*t about apologizing or something--actually, he didn't even went to check up on her after she lost their child because of him!!--... more>> and then, just because you're back in the past and the tragedies didn't happen yet, you think is a healthy idea to, what, "love" him again?

B*tch, you can't even love yourself, how are you going to love someone else T T you know that I mean??

Let's not even talk about how he was angry about his mother being a better ruler than him, and then he turned to the FL, full of petty rage and petty punishment. She just took everything with open arms of course since she's an angel, god forbids if she even thinks of having her own opinion.

I understand he's in a tricky position, with little power in his hands, but HELLOOO? Sulking in a corner won't help!!

Let's also not talk about the whole r*pe situation... I mean all the times where they had s*x but it wasn't really sex... I mean that was r*pe wasn't it? I'm pretty sure she said in one of the chapters something among the lines of 'he was more violent than the other times'.

Anyway this is not my cup of tea, and having in mind that in my eyes the ML is scum already, I'll probably not be able to read it to the end. I hope the FL all the best thought, she went trough some and then more, I think she deserves a happy ending. I just can't see her having a happy ending by his side. <<less
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Ro
Ro rated it
January 8, 2020
Status: c15
If I go by the novel description, she'll be marrying the same person again after rebirth and fall in love with him again. So it's just like falling in the well in broad daylight. I love to read rebirth novels so decided to give it a try, but the ML is scum, even if it's only in past (if I go by description) it's still a big turn off to continue reading the novel. For now I'm just giving it a chance. I know there are a lot people who... more>> argue about giving second chances but call me a hypocrite but if there's any person whom I like to see having second chance that would be MC only. (The power of MC halo :p) No one else deserve it even if the cause for past mistake was misunderstandings. <<less
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08phamann
08phamann rated it
February 8, 2020
Status: c21
This is going to be the typical bs drama where even after ML treats her like tr*sh and hurts her and eventually kills her, she, like a saint, still loves him and forgives him because she realises there were "misunderstandings" that prevented their love from happening. She also gets amnesia and forgets all the times he hurt her and how bad her ending was. I don't need a novel like that.
42 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Kalliope
Kalliope rated it
March 5, 2020
Status: c36
This novel gave me some serious 'The Abandoned Empress' vibes. Prepare for a long rant.

The basic premise is that FL goes back in time as a child and vows to not repeat the same mistakes. So far, Rhiannan did this splendidly. I loved the way she ... more>>
Spoiler

kicked out her bastard father and his equally demonic daughter the moment they stepped foot inside her house. That was so satisfying.

[collapse]

From this, and the various decisions she undertook afterwards, we can see her effort to change her future and the courage it took to never let her fear outweigh her determination.

What bothers me is the ML. Igor is so much like Ruve from 'The Abandoned Empress' except
Spoiler

Ruve's actions were caused by his enemies drugging him and causing his delusions, while Igor's actions were caused by his own ignorance and his inability to believe in his own wife. They're both a**holes.

[collapse]

Disclaimer: I'm not picking either Ruve or Igor's side. For me, they're both s*upid and total scum of the earth and no matter how many times they get rebirthed, it will never erase their sins.

Like with TBE, my main concern with this novel is
Spoiler

according to the synopsis, Rhia chooses to be Igor's queen again and falls in love with him. Again.

EDIT: I stand corrected. Rhia didn't choose to be Igor's queen, she was forced to by Igor (because he's a selfish prick who doesn't care about anyone but himself) and Chrichton's prince (because he wants to protect his sister). Anyway, this just adds on to my point that Igor is a b*tch.

From what I understood in the story, Igor also got rebirthed and the way he's behaving certainly suggests a change in his character but THAT DOESN'T JUSTIFY HIS WRONGDOINGS. He did all of those things consciously and purposefully. What's worse is despite all the shitty things he did, he still insists on getting Rhiannan back. Like, how arrogant and insensitive can this dude be?

And so, I don't get how Rhia can forgive and love Igor despite everything he did when she immediately kicked Leticia (her evil half-sister) to the curb the first chance she got? Why can Igor get a second chance while Leticia doesn't? Don't be mistaken, I'm not siding with Leticia, I hate that bit*h as much as the next person, but my point is: they both caused her immense pain and suffering, so why can't they get the same treatment? I just don't understand the double standards when it comes to lead characters and villains. It's so hard to sympathize with the ML when I know that the villain can just as easily gain redemption if given the chance. I hope my point gets across.

[collapse]

End of rant. Anyway, I still love the story. It's equally exciting and frustrating and I look forward to every chapter. As always, wordexcerpt did an excellent job with the translations. They're my favorite translator, that's for sure! This one definitely deserves a read. <<less
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honingzoet
honingzoet rated it
May 3, 2020
Status: --
He literally cheated on her with her SISTER when she was pregnant. There really is no excuse for that behavior. He also raped her a lot & raped her much harder one time when he was jealous of her talking to her cousin. her cousin. He never got the bright idea of talking it out like a normal couple smh. Don’t read it, it’s a waste of time
21 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Servitor
Servitor rated it
April 25, 2020
Status: c20
This story is a clear example of pretty much everything I dislike in some (romance) reincarnation novels. What is notable about this one is that it does pretty much everything I dislike in the worst way possible. The dense and unreasonableness of enemies to the point of parody. I've seen it before, but rarely as bad as this. The previous life backstory is told very dryly and for very long. For the first 20 chapters there's more 'retelling' backstory than actual 'present story' which is quite a slog to get... more>> through as it is nothing more than pure suffering told in a very poorly structured way. Details below.

Spoiler

Incredibly abusive previous life with the Male lead. Abuse, neglect, rape, cheating with sister which then causes miscarriage after which its neglect, imprisonment and then indirect murder. Then both the MC and the ML are reincarnated.

[collapse]

Now I know the trope and I understand and fully accept that 'the other side' of this story will play out and exonerate all the crimes, but for me at some point in the abusive-ML trope you just have to go 'But I don't want this guy to be redeemed, I want him to suffer and die'. Because the simple truth is, either he was too much of a bastard/weakling to care, or he was too incompetent/weak to do anything. Either way, I don't want him with our poor MC.

Read till chapter 20. If you then think "That was horrible, I wonder what the other side of the story is" continue reading. If you think "I hope this guy suffers and dies" like me, then stop. <<less
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GoldenWoofs759
GoldenWoofs759 rated it
May 3, 2020
Status: Completed
This is one of those reincarnation/redemption situations where I think if you didn't finish the majority of the book, people should take your rating with a grain of salt.

[At the time of writing, I finished the Korean raws.]

That's because until you see the whole situation, how can you even argue that the "justification" behind the redemption was "dumb", "unbelievable", "contrived"? Everyone is jumping to conclusions here based off a biased perspective (Rhia).

... more>>
Spoiler

You find out much later that most of Igor's "crimes" weren't even his crimes. Like he literally DID NOT DO THEM. For example, he didn't imprison or kill Rhia. Someone else ordered it. Rhia just assumes it was Igor based off her naive belief in a known compulsive liar (Leticia). Igor has his reasons he could not help Rhia. Those reasons were genuinely out of his control.

That's not to say Igor was blameless or not s*upid. No, on the contrary, both were equally s*upid and mistrustful of the other. They both had preconceived notions of who the other was based off their first impressions. But it would be hypocritical to blame Igor of his poor communication skills if you don't also plan on blaming Rhia.

Their mistrust in other people are both understandable in the context of their abusive childhoods.

The person who shows TRUE SELFLESS LOVE is Igor. Rhia causes the majority of the frustration in this novel.

[collapse]

If anything, the reader comments and hate Igor gets just reinforces why real life relationships fail due to misunderstandings. Because people get so caught up in their own victim hood and misconceptions, unwilling to listen to the other side of the story, especially since Rhia is probably one of the most unreliable/ignorant/naive narrators. The author intentionally made her to be as pitifully ignorant as possible to drag out this misunderstanding. Majority of the ridibook readers (you know... the people who actually finished the entire Korean novel) agree that this book is ultimately one about the importance of communication/trust/understanding in relationships, not about Stockholm Syndrome.

Anyways, after reading, I found both of them enjoyable characters (Igor was WAY better). Igor was the more complex character, whereas Rhia needed the most character development. As the story progresses, their mutual mistakes were frustrating at time, but I just accepted these flaws as they occurred. It's because it is a story; their mistakes are contrived to be over the top. Besides, the teaser itself spoils that they will reunite. No need to angrily cling onto your indignation and doubt everything Igor says. As you read, it is made increasingly obvious of the unreliability of Rhia's initial judgement, from multiple difference sources.

The story development is slow though. So if you aren't up for drawn out frustration, skip it.

Sucks that majority of the bad ratings are unfinished readers who are basically proving the author's point. (I can understand why finished readers might hate it though, they are a VERY frustrating couple).

After re-reading, I had to lower a star because upon reflection, Rhia is literally the biggest woe-is-me and TSTL FL I have ever seen in my life. Honestly wished Igor just gave up on this woman because she 100% would've died out of pure s*upidity killing herself. <<less
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chuchita
chuchita rated it
December 17, 2019
Status: c1
I just love rebirth novels. It's too early too judge this one, but it has the basic elements, poor naive protagonist driven away because of an evil and jealous step sister, tortured by an ingrate lover who abandons her despite all her sacrifices and love devotion. I'm hooked already. Translator has done a great job. I'm really looking forward to what's next especially that r18 content. 😳
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Kirisaki_Linari
Kirisaki_Linari
February 25, 2020
Status: c27
I love this novel, seriously.

And I agree to those who gave five stars.

That bastard ML should suffer the pain the MC felt ten-fold. He caused so much suffering beyond redeemable. If he really loved her, why hurt her? I can't even tell what dere he is
9 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
rn_flac
rn_flac rated it
December 23, 2019
Status: c11
This novel started out strongly! Our heroine is different from other heroines from rebirth novels like this. The moment she realized she went back in time, she already know what to do and didn't wasted a minute to put her plan in action. But despite this she's not perfect but that just made her better, more humane. It's a bit slow phased but I'm interested to read more! Give it a read!

(And im curious about that R-18 tag too *wink**wink*)
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MelodySong
MelodySong rated it
May 14, 2020
Status: Completed
I read some of the reviews, and I can say that you can't judge a story only in the point of view of one character (Rhiannan), because then you would only have her version of what happened.

Igor didn't do anything bad,

... more>>
Spoiler

Three spoilers. He dind't cheat on Rhia. If you continue to read the novel you would understand what happened in reality, and if he dind't visit her after she lost their baby, there is a very important reason for that. At the time she fell from the stairs he fell it too, and was unconscious from that time on. When he woke up, he dind't have the time to go and see Rhia because Leticia had already killed her, and because he went to see his mother (the queen) and ask why she had accused Rhia of something she haven't done

Summarizing:

  1. He didn't cheat, and never did with any other woman.
  2. The queen is the one who accused Rhia (the queen is totally crazy, she is the villain of the novel)
  3. He didn't visit Rhia because he was unconscious in bed, and didn't know she was in jail obviously.
    [collapse]
Read the novel with open mind, sometimes things are not what they really are like. In the first part we see Rhia's POV but with the passing of the novel you would see that it was all a big misunderstanding from both sides (Rhia and Igor). I feel pity for the latter, poor Igor. <<less
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ScotlandForsythe
ScotlandForsythe rated it
May 9, 2020
Status: Completed
I originally was gonna say nothing, but there are so many reviews hating on the ML without having finished the story. I read the raw and even those on the original website agree that the Rhia's view of Igor was very biased. That was the whole point. The author purposely wrote most of the story through Rhia's tinted view. She is a very ignorant and naive character for most of the story (her character developed though).

I saw one reviewer write that this story is whitewashing (or was it wiping clean??)... more>> the tr*sh ml. He isn't tr*sh. A lot of people keep saying that the author's making excuses for his actions. Y'all, the author knew what they were doing. You guys are only thinking like this because you saw the story through Rhia's biased view, so you think that the ML is now trying to right his wrongs and justify his actions, when he has little to no wrongs to right or justify because he wasn't responsible for most of the crap that happened to her to begin with. (Yes, I typed that in all on breadth).

It was really starting to bother me.

He was literally being manipulated and used by the Queen and most of what Rhia thought happened to her because of Igor were lies that her stepsister told her. He ignored her because he was trying to push her out of the queen's site which failed, obviously.

The rape-

Spoiler

Actually, you can just read this part to understand. Go make your own opinions. In my opinion on the wedding night they had to have s*x (though I didn't like it), it was expected of them. The other parts, it's been awhile since I read this (I happened to find it randomly when it was coming out, and I had to read it through google translate) so I'm a little blurred on what happened lol. Just go read it, I guess?

[collapse]

As for the s*x that happened with the stepsister

Spoiler

nothing I say will eclipse you going and actually reading what happened. Sorry, even I don'tget this lol

[collapse]

Anyway, I'm not saying Igor is flawless. No, he made a lot of mistakes. But so did Rhia. I'm tired of people painting her as someone who had no control, but saying Igor should have had more control over the freaking queen throwing her in jail and killing her
Spoiler

when he was in a coma

[collapse]

On the original website it's agreed that the main issue was their communication failure. So many things could have been avoided if she had talked to him instead of blindly believing her sister. So many things could have change if he'd just told her the truth instead of trying to 'protect' her (can you even call that protecting?).

So, while I don't like either characters much. They both have things I like and dislike and they had so many issues. So many. Like there was this one misunderstanding that could have been solved if she'd just asked him. Just asked him. And I don't get what it is with asian webnovel and the forced s*x scenes??? Do y'all have a different view of s*x over there cause =_=.

I'm just sick of all the one sided hate from people who are viewing Rhia through pink glasses and are unwilling to actually dig deep and see what the story is trying to say. <<less
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Kikky
Kikky rated it
January 11, 2020
Status: c17
This has the makings of a classic rebirth novel which I usually enjoy. We are still getting the backstory for now from the FL's POV which honestly makes me not like the ML. I wish the author would give her another guy to love because I doubt I would buy the whole " I love you in secret but still make you suffer for your own good or to protect you" trope.

Anyway it was very satisfying to see how she put her tr*sh father in his place. It seems like... more>> she has guts and is determined to control her fate this time. I hope the attitude gets retained and doesn't wash away as she interacts with the ML.

This seems like a good read so far and the translators are doing an awesome job. <<less
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HentMas
HentMas
May 27, 2020
Status: c94
WARNING:

Avoid the comments.

Avoid all the comments and the reviews and ANYTHING that mentions this novel.

... more>> It's being spoiled to death, and I think it deserves to be read from start to finish because it's very well written.

I won't put stars just now because the narrative is still in its infancy, we're just starting to get onto the main plot of the novel, but it's a novel about back stabs and intrigue and well, it's one of those novels that if it's spoiled it loses half its value... so just AVOID ALL COMMENTS.

There are a LOT of seeds being planted all around MC, it's very well done, it's got great world building, very competent author, very competent translator.

SO FAR, I would give it 5 stars, but, again, it's too early to give it stars... I don't know if all the author is planting will bloom into a beautiful flower or just rot in the ground, I have high hopes. <<less
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ctscan
ctscan rated it
April 27, 2020
Status: c73
Spoiler

I won't lie, my review is definitely lower due to the fact that some authors think that violence and r*pe can be forgiven if the rapist "truly loved" the person they raped. It's disheartening to see the in the first life how the FL's feelings being treated like dirt by everyone, and the author later expects the audience to forgive a rapist because they're good looking and have a tragic past.😒😒/end rant

[collapse]

This is definitely a doozy to read through. Though I dislike the ML currently (and I'm not sure how much I'll care for him by the end), I definitely want to see the FL heal from her trauma. I'm not sure how much of her trauma will be healed by her own self journey, through potentially seeing the BS politics she was forced through previously, or with the ML's support.

Though I can already see how this novel will generally end, I anticipate the journey to the end for the FL. I also hope this novel shows the FL at a healthier and happier place soon, and I always like to see my FLs flourish 😊

Side note - cheers to the translator of this novel! It's really well done, and truly 5 stars to them 🌟
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ArguingApples
ArguingApples rated it
February 20, 2020
Status: c48
I like the premise.

One thing that sets this apart from other reincarnation novels is that ... more>>
Spoiler

both FL and ML (unfortunately, it's the douchebag husband) are reincarnated. The reason for the title is because the ML regretted the FLs death and treatment so much that when he got reincarnated too, he vowed to love her the way he couldn't do in the first life without asking for her heart in return.

[collapse]

Welp, I still hate the ML though. I'm hoping for so much regret and suffering for him. He ain't someone to just easily get forgiveness. <<less
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Qiqi29
Qiqi29
January 28, 2020
Status: --
Idk I'm hoping she'll find a sweet, loyal, kind and loving husband eventhough it's already given that she'll end up being with the ML.
7 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
ArGrCr
ArGrCr rated it
May 21, 2020
Status: --
This novel is has everything I hate about any story, only read if you are a masochist.

The main problems.

... more>>
Spoiler

Igor: He describes you as a bad born, and he is, he treated her badly, he raped her, "" deceived "", produced an abortion, "" allowed her execution "
after that you as a reader consider it rubbish and you intuit that the story will go elsewhere, that Rhia will marry someone else and that revenge will be to eliminate Igor as KING.
But NOOOOOOOOOOOO let's make a toxic novel and whitewash Igor.
AT NO TIME can you get rid of the garbage that was Igor really wanted him to be the final boss.

I refuse to read this tr*sh.

But in this one where the plot revolves around where Igor the rapist, abuser, and baby's neighbor of Rhia has a new opportunity he is out of the limit.

[collapse]

Reading an NTR is more comfortable than this tr*sh.

The author literally justifies a rapist just because he has a troubled past. <<less
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maddymad
maddymad rated it
May 1, 2020
Status: --
Story doesnt going anywhere but white washing a jerk. Is it too much to ask best for women at least in shoujo and josei. I dont know I dont want to forgive ml. He doesnt deserve she at all. There are other lovely males for her than this recycled tr*sh of a man.
6 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Skyhighxx
Skyhighxx rated it
March 14, 2020
Status: prologue
It's kinda like every other rebirth story. So far I read up to ch 36. if you ask me, I thought this was going to be a good story but it's more like ehh. When she first stood up to her dad and everything else I liked it but when the author tried to write about the past it was kind of confusing. Two for somebody to be reborn it's really like she living till she die. You ran away and went to your mother home country and even... more>> there your still living in the past. Talking about you don't want to start a butterfly effect, well b*tch yu should of stayed home. You got a second chance at life for a reason. Maybe to change your past or to find the person who truly love you but once they be reborn they put on this I was 20 something years old when I died so I can't be a kid anymore type of vibe or I will never marry or have kids type of thing. Honestly I wanted to give it a 1 if you ask me. This story isn't as good as lady to queen or remarried empress <<less
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