I Don’t Want to Be Loved

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Rihannan Alessin, a queen rotting in prison.

Despaired and without hope, she drank poison and died. But… unbeknownst to her, the deity gave her a second chance at life. She was twelve again. And this time, she would live life differently.

Six years later, she chooses to become Arundell’s queen…

“If you’re asking me to step down from the marriage proposal, I can’t.”

“Marry me and let us divorce after a year.”

And this time, the time limit of their marriage would last a year.

A husband she knew who was different than before… she tried not to love him again, but each time, her heart kept shaking.

Associated Names
One entry per line
IDWTBL
Salangbadgi Wonhaji Anhneunda
사랑받기 원하지 않는다
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
Living As the Villainess Queen (12)
Beauty of Thebes (9)
Under the Oak Tree (9)
Your Majesty, I Want You (9)
Saving You, Villain (8)
The Duke’s Imposter Sister (8)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Long List of Shoujo with Long Chapters
  2. Korean novels (smut,adult,mature)
  3. korean novels pt. 1
  4. Korean Webnovel
  5. historical novels

Latest Release

Date Group Release
09/18/20 Midnight Snack... c177
09/17/20 Midnight Snack... c176
09/16/20 Midnight Snack... c175
09/06/20 Midnight Snack... c174
09/04/20 Midnight Snack... c173
09/03/20 Midnight Snack... c172
09/03/20 Midnight Snack... c171
08/31/20 Midnight Snack... c170
08/31/20 Midnight Snack... c169
08/31/20 Midnight Snack... c168
08/31/20 Midnight Snack... c167
08/27/20 Midnight Snack... c166
08/26/20 Midnight Snack... c165
08/23/20 Midnight Snack... c164
08/20/20 Midnight Snack... c163
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Review
104 Reviews


Wolve2k
New Wolve2k
Jun 08, 2021
Status: c177
So what to tell about this... piece of work... the flashbacks are bloody annoying, I don't get the hatred for the FL from the other posts, its easy to blame just her, but at the end of the day:

... more>>
Spoiler

- he had the problems with his mothers, it's not her fault
- he r*ped her multiple times.
- he cheated on her with her half sister what has already taken away anything she had
- he was the cause of the miscarriage
- he killed her, not directly but it was his fault. If you play with fire you get burned little boy.
- he learned about her past after she took her own life

After the very first day of the "redo", the little dolt should have understood that BOTH lives have changed. Nope it took him till chap. 61 to even acknowledge that she changed. (that's some heavy plot armor (or rather plot s*upidity right there). You can not blame her for not understanding that he's been reborn, she removed herself from the country, so to her the changes of him where only natural BUT he was still the same person what did all what I listed above. Her father showed her the first day that his the same scumbag as in her last life. So its natural for her to think everything will lead to doom for her if he gets her in his grasp again.

Lets not talk about the little Kings "Regret". To late little boy, you screwed up the first time, you truly should burn in hell for all eternity. The pure s*upidity (or plot armor whatever you wanna call it) of assaulting her on the ship because he was worried she kills herself, I'm sure it reminded her of r*pe rather than the concert he had, at the end to herself she was nothing more than a hostage or a stand in for the real princess and after the s*upid use of her name once she tells him the meaning of it.

Lets not forget about the Bullsh*t we wont keep secrets, a few chaps after he keeps and MAKES new secrets, so much for letting her put her trust in him, once a little dolt always one, the problem now was just that it was a dolt with power.

Now the love scene... ugh. if the author doesn't knows how to write a good one, its better to just skip and make it happen of screen. but yeah sure to stroke ones own ego it must be BIG lol. My god so cringe.

On to some more Chap... and there is where he thinks she might have her memories of her old life. That's just great, now we know for sure that his a stalker. He wants her, he doesn't give a sh*t if she scared of him, he wants her to fall in love with her killer AND wants the child again. Oh bloody hell. There is ONE, just ONE thing every dolt (author) should remember, if you love something from the deepest part of your heart, you have to let it free.

And he nearly r*pes her again... like I said he should burn in hell.

The worst part of it all is that he doesn't have a blank state when she is reborn, HE has the memory's of the past too, so in the end he IS the same person what hurt her the most.
It was his narcissistic wish that she had to relive her life, just so that HE could get her. Even after she left he could not let go of her, yeah if that's not twisted love. Did she loved him? Hell no. But I'm the King i'll make her fall in love (bend her to my will, that's more like it)

His reflections and jealousy about Dimitri show up so well in that one phrase "Who knows what that man would do with Rihannan. " He would make her happy without the bloody crap you putting her thru ya dolt.

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znukhsoc
New znukhsoc
May 17, 2021
Status: c15
The writing annoyed me so much with the excessive background of the characters you'll never care about and quite high pettiness levels. I really don't like the evil sister plot line unless the sister actually has some IQ points. So I got back to read some reviews:

After hearing that this story keep depending too much on flashback parts from their past life + ML is the past abuser himself (neglect, r*pe, cheating with sister which then causes miscarriage after, imprisonment, indirect murder) since he's actually reincarnated and still owns his... more>> actions, I decided that this web novel doesn't worth my time. <<less
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EllieAllie
EllieAllie
Jun 06, 2020
Status: Completed
MILD SPOILER! I completed the original raws already. I have re-read this novel multiple times. My opinion of the FL drops with each re-reading. READ THIS REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO BE AWARE OF THE FL (she was WORSE of the two). Frankly, you SHOULD NOT TRUST most "unfinished reviews" since their ratings are uninformed/misleading. I estimate ~300 English chapters. Why trust reviews based on LESS THAN HALF of the novel?

FL - Weak/pathetic/passive/selfish/naive. PRIME example of wilful ignorance/inaction. If you want a good FL, this is NOT the novel... more>> for you. She is the BIGGEST woe-is-me/victim mentality character I have ever encountered. Everyone is "out to get her" while she sits around and DOES NOTHING to save herself or anyone else apparently. Summed up: this selfish character was: "take/take/take" from everyone and "whine/whine/whine" about why her life never gets better. She twists her "sacrifices" into sainthood (until you find out the REAL reason why she acts how she does). She withholds info/misleads readers in her beginning POV to TWIST blame onto Igor "the villain". [She will only be honest/give more info as you progress through the novel. THE WORLD'S BIGGEST VICTIM.] She will NEVER think critically unless someone (and yes, that includes actual villains) knocks some sense into her. She ASSUMES everything is Igor's fault/responsibility. DOES NOTHING. NEVER TALKS. NO BRAINS. TWICE. The novel was a cautionary tale about the dangers of WILLFUL miscommunication/ignorance/selfishness. If she was a real person, Rhia would be the bigger menace to society out of the two leads. Rhia CANNOT FOREVER be a victim - at some point, the misery she inflicts on herself & others is her own fault. She was so selfish to SO MANY GOOD people that I wouldn't even know WHO I want to inflict Rhia on. The others in the beginning were right - she truly is like a pretty doll. Alluring on the outside, only to be empty on the inside.

ML - The ONLY reason this novel gets a decent rating. He isn't perfect, but he shows unconditional love AND has an understandable reason for ALL his actions (even if I can understand why others don't agree with him). His reasons make sense in context, moreso than via spoilers, but most are missing the author's point of this novel by jumping to conclusions/reading spoilers. I read this novel chronologically without spoilers, so I just kept an open-mind and waited for his POV. I had NO QUALMS with his "misdeeds", even on my first reading, since I knew Mrs. Unreliable Narrator has a knack of retreating into her victimhood while missing the big picture (I was right). This dude was carrying both the couple and the novel on his back. His chapters are responsible for conveying the message of this novel. At least he puts in SOME effort... both times. He adequately suffers and rightfully gets punished for his willful ignorance and miscommunication, unlike "I'm never to blame" Rhia.

Objectively... their first marriage:

Spoiler

I don't understand why Rhia gets so much sympathy. She really didn't deserve a better marriage, just like Igor didn't deserve one. Neither did the right thing for the other. Both had the freedom to make better choices, but both acted like the emotional teenagers (16-19 year old) they were. They both had a hard time trusting the other because of their past (which NEITHER of the other knew about). The only thing you can objectively judge is their actions to one another (since neither are mindreaders or will talk).

Rhia - All she did was backstab Igor by choosing the mom, who Igor clearly didn't like (she SAW with her own eyes). I can't even name one brave thing she did for his benefit. If Rhia wants to "survive" by siding with the mom, stick to her choice. If she wants Igor's help... she has to ASK for it. Who cares if she "stayed neutral" in her mind? At the end of the day, all objective observers in court saw that Rhia undermined Igor's authority as a weak, young king. How can he even protect her if all she did was make him weaker in court? If she doesn't want to be "abandoned"... can she stop pushing him away with her uncaring actions? This character was WHIPLASH. I'm in her mind, and I don't even know WHAT she wanted out of him with her actions - she flip flops between love/hate like it's going out of fashion. I don't know if she wanted a husband or a mind-reading servant. She even treated her own crap father (and did more for his sake) better than Igor (who she does nothing for).

Igor - All Rhia did for him was push him away and refuse to talk. He tried his best to help Rhia, but he had no trust in her and was quick to emotion, refusing to listen to her. Did he pick an award-winning method? Fk no. Terrible idea.

Also, people crying about "rape" should pick up a history book - historical political marriages demanded an heir, and unfortunately that means the king/queen in the novel are expected to step up. If not, I guess off with the FL's head. The ML (king) would have been fine without an heir since the FL (a political nobody) was the disposable one in this political marriage (like real life political marriages). ML didn't want their 1st marriage (and tries to stop it), but he had no choice since FL naively just walks into the marriage without realizing the consequences. She should have FOUGHT HARDER to escape the marriage if she didn't want the responsibilities of being queen. But no, like she admits in literally the first chapter, she CLUNG ONTO IT, with zero self-respect for herself, because she "loved" him and wanted whatever tr*sh marriage she could have beside him (Rhia's mom 2.0).

The correct solution for both is to OPEN UP and TALK. NEITHER chose it.

They both "loved" one another, but NEITHER tried in the first life to make things better (Igor does TRY more than she ever does). Why is their marriage only Igor's fault when Rhia NEVER did anything right either? Igor AND Rhia are both toxic partners. Rhia always thinks her actions are "right/justified" or "has no choice." She was upset that her status as his wife didn't net 101% effort, but she saw nothing wrong with how little she did as his wife?

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with either in the first life, but the entitlement and victim mentality that was ingrained in Rhia was more toxic than anything Igor thought of this marriage. Igor doesn't think Rhia owed him services, happiness, or anything. While the amount of mind-reading and work Rhia expected was astronomical in relation to her barebone contributions. This marriage was so garbage that NEITHER owed the other anything, but one is still trying to salvage a marriage both wanted to save.

If Rhia is too weak to work for the things she wants, she hasn't earned it. That's life. It shouldn't be anyone's responsibility to (1) read her mind (2) chase after her life goals. This is especially true if she doesn't try to return the favour to others. Besides, Igor still worked to save himself and her with his talking-handicap.

Honestly, Rhia annoyed me not because of how crap she was in this relationship (it was a terrible relationship not worth saving). I needed her to attempt somewhere. Instead, she just acted like she was being swept up by "inescapable" circumstances in her 1st life... while she made ZERO effort to escape them. [And she did a lot of self-harm in the actions she DID pick since she never thinks and just blames Igor.] If she can't help herself... who IS responsible for her life? But that inaction is always defended by deflecting blame on everyone else but the person most responsible for her life... Then we do this again in the 2nd.

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Minor spoiler about the ML and his "faults".

Spoiler

(BLESS his POV, a break from the woe-is-me)

It is ironic how everyone distrusts him because of their Rhia-bias, but he was the correct narrator all along... Everything he says is true (except the extent of his guilt/blame. He took on way too much blame in comparison to his "crimes") - which by the end, even Rhia states in plain text that he wasn't responsible for 90% of her problems.

No, he was never a "power-hungry" king since even he admits early that he would live under his mother's thumb forever if he had a good marriage. This fact is later reinforced MANY times in the novel that he (a) was not a warmonger/tyrant (b) valued Rhia more than the throne.

Igor was totally wrong/selfish to bring her back in the 2nd life and mislead her. He should have left her to her own devices in Crichton (guaranteed she would have killed herself or someone else. She was already on the verge of it before he intervened), but alas, there wouldn't be a story without his actions.

Upon reflection, you know what his biggest mistake is? CARING SO MUCH ABOUT SUCH A PATHETIC WOMAN. He tried too hard to help SUCH an undeserving person, who doesn't even want the responsibility of saving herself... TWICE.

Don't know why he worked so hard to "plead for her forgiveness". Objectively, she was JUST AS MUCH AT FAULT. Unconditional (obsessive) love makes you blind.

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My grievances with the FL and how she behaves (if you want to know what you are signing yourself up for with the FL) :

Spoiler

This novel is about misunderstandings and miscommunication, NOT about "whitewashing/excusing" an "abuser". However, the FL had A LOT more problems than the ML in that department because she CHOOSES to be dumb and stick her head in the ground.

She did ONE thing right both lives - kick out the dad in the 2nd life. However, that "smartness" went into the dumpster fire when she starts harming everyone else to "protect herself" the minute she lands on Crichton. The same problem she had in the first life. :)

Even if she does grow up, I didn't think FL deserved anything by the end. She got rewarded with everything despite the NOTHING she did in this novel. ML did everything for her (BOTH LIVES). She was given MANY opportunities to make better choices (BOTH LIVES) - but she keeps choosing the wrong one REPEATEDLY. She is a character who NEVER LEARNS because in her mind (and the minds of her "can-do-no-wrong" supporters), she is perfect and "above" blame/responsibility. If she wants to stab herself, go nuts. I swear, she was trying to kill herself with her s*upidity in this novel (there are about 3-4 almost deaths that she ran into headfirst, each of which the ML had to bail her out of). However, I draw the line when she starts stabbing everyone else and then crying a river about how her actions are justified. My sympathies ran out after the 3rd? almost death/trusting of OBVIOUS villains or traps. :)

Everyone argues that Igor "should educate" her since she is a dumb idiot... Pointless. She doesn't want to use her brain. MANY characters will drop hints (and Rhia herself also knows some information), but she doesn't use her brain in either lives so I have nothing left to say for willful ignorance. If she wants to stay clueless, she deserves whatever happens for poorly informed choices. She dismisses ANY facts that contradicts her "worldview" that "Igor is a villain" (MANY will talk to her about this, both lives). Even the actual villain (one of the first chapters) will try to discourage Rhia from thinking like this... so... what can one say to change her mind?

Hints are RAINING DOWN from the sky about the "bigger villain" (BOTH LIVES). It's STILL Igor's fault when she CRAWLS to the villain. Even the reader will know what the other characters/Rhia herself is trying to allude to... everyone knows it, except Rhia. [Rhia literally GIVES THE READER this knowledge as "ponderings" about why her palace life sucks... NEVER THINKS.]

SHE REFUSES TO LISTEN. Because "she is scared of the unknown"/she "already knows" the truth. Unlike Igor, I don't care about her wellbeing, so he should have just HELD HER DOWN and forcibly word vomited the truth because WHO CARES.

She NEVER gives a chance to the ML, trusts the villains (multiple in both lives), and then blames her poor life choices on ML. How far does having a "sad past" give forgiveness for hurting herself and other people? Because clearly, this passive woman got hella far in life with all the nothing/self-harm she did because the ML is cleaning up after her.

NEVER in the novel does ANYONE take precedence over her own feelings/fears. She will throw everyone - ML, family, friends, country - under the bus to "protect" her feelings.

In summary:

ML's actions were tragically dumb, but ultimately selfless. [This guy was way too good for her, in both lives, especially the 2nd life.]. Flaws: He was impulsive and doesn't talk (his reason for silence is WAY BETTER than Rhia's "I am too scared of the truth...")

FL's actions were tragically dumb, but fundamentally selfish. [It was all about me-me-me and her feelings/need to protect herself]. Literally ALL of ML's mistakes could be traced back to her since she "set the stage" that needed to be cleaned up. Flaws: She ALSO doesn't talk, but she will ALSO never TRY or THINK. Her feelings ALWAYS come first, even if it risks actually killing people -_-

The ONLY defense for the FL's actions is the assumption that relationships are a one-man job. She expected a perfect, mind-reading servant as a husband since she NEVER holds herself accountable for any of her mistakes (a lot of her suffering in court has nothing to do with the ML, she just twists it onto him in her POV). This applied to her other relationships too (friends, family). I couldn't even pick a "better suitor" for Rhia since Rhia proved herself to be a sh*tter partner to every candidate she met. She was surrounded by SO MUCH genuine, unconditional love in the 2nd life - in Crichton and Arundel, and she took them all for granted.

The amount of self-reflection by this woman was truly pathetic since it was crammed all within a few chapters near the end. She will never have to prove anything to anyone since Igor planned for her selfishness 10 steps in advance. All she does is TAKE other people's generosity. EVEN AT THE VERY END. Igor (and a bunch of others) deserved much better than Rhia.

In BOTH lives, whatever crap Rhia had to endure because of Igor; Igor had to endure as much (if not MORE) from Rhia.

To those crying of "victim shaming" - the author was criticizing the type of person Rhia is, but then awards her with everything despite ZERO effort. If anything, the author is whitewashing Rhia by excessively punishing Igor into doing all the work and getting all the hate. Regardless of how pathetic her upbringing is, Rhia's actions crossed the line of excusable. Especially since Igor had an even crappier upbringing, and he doesn't whine/deflect blame/pull some of the selfish stunts that she does (there are a few...).

To all those who says "Igor accepts fault/blame/guilt" so thus he must be responsible - WRONG. Hard to feel guilty/responsible when Rhia is just ignorant. Once Rhia stops being stubborn and opens herself up to the truth, she blames herself since 90% of her misfortunes is her doing herself in. She also acknowledges that Igor cannot be blamed since he was just as much of a victim as her.

Before everyone is at my throat for "defending" an "abuser" (a label that I don't even agree with), I thought both were dumb (even if their actions made total sense in the context of their pasts). But if Igor can't (and doesn't) use "mommy" problems as justification, Rhia shouldn't be allowed to use "daddy" problems. One of these character takes responsibility and tries to improve; the other spends the entire novel deflecting blame, caring only about herself, and dragging everyone else down with her. AGAIN. How many chances do you NEED in life?

If they never met, I would trust Igor to survive by himself. I cannot say the same for Rhia. The woman was a walking menace to herself and everyone around her. She wasn't a good character OR human being. At least the villains were proactive and complex, even if they were all tr*sh humans. Rhia gave me nothing but headaches with her whining. There were many parallels between Rhia and both female villains... but the story frames Rhia as the heroine. Only difference.

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No doubt that this couple is frustrating. Both had moments that were unlikeable, but Rhia was responsible for 80% of my frustration since she KEEPS WHINING but DOES NOTHING to improve her life (I mean, besides deflect blame onto Igor and telepathically expecting him to clean up after her).

I can even 100% understand why people who FINISHED would disagree with the ML (but most of the hate here is BLIND hate...), but I have a hard time defending the FL and her attitude as ok behavior in relationships. BOTH are at fault for their crap lives, but frankly, it should be a 75% Rhia's fault-25% Igor's fault split. Rhia's performance in the 2nd life definitely tipped the scale in her favor for being the bigger mess. At least Igor improves dramatically in the 2nd life; Rhia is still over there stumbling and harming herself/others with ignorance and inaction.

After this novel, I felt that doing nothing was WORSE than doing wrong. Since you can improve/learn from your failed attempts. Whereas nothing but further/repeated harm results from inaction and ignorance.

WHOSE MISTAKES ARE EVEN GETTING "WHITEWASHED" IN THIS NOVEL?

Personal rambling (so skip it) about the hypocrisy Rhia promotes in people:

Spoiler

This is NOT about readers relating to "understandable" context/circumstances... this is about how some will do mental gymnastics to excuse objectively wrong actions.

Understand =/= justify.

There is a difference between the two.

The FL's mistakes are always "justified" by her past even if those actions lead to harming herself/others/killing people... but all of that is brushed under the rug, AND it is STILL expected that the ML/others clean up after her. Not only that... SHE REPEATS THEM AGAIN (this is where I LOST my patience with her "circumstances"). EVERYONE (not just Igor... EVERYONE) was bending their back for this passive woman who couldn't even reciprocate to ANYONE. Meanwhile, the ML isn't even allowed to mistrust a woman who literally DOES NOTHING BUT HARM him, considering his past of being used by his mom. PLUS, he NEVER even tries to deflect blame with a woe-is-me sob story in his POVs like Rhia does about ALL her mistakes in her POVs. I am NOT justifying Igor either because he was ALSO dumb. But does he ever blame her or expect her to clean up after his BS with his past and mom? Even when he has justified understandable reason to be frustrated with how Rhia never seems to care about him or want to help him. No. He doesn't. Since Igor never justifies with the victim-card or accuses his wife of zero communication or contributions, he was more tolerable of the two. Only difference. If he had Rhia's victim mentality too, I'd hate everyone.

There is too much bias about "whitewashing/excusing" FL versus ML. Even if I "understand" their reasoning, neither of their actions were objectively "excusable". Both brought a lot of harm to one another... but Rhia's brought on EVEN MORE harm to MORE INNOCENT BYSTANDERS. But all her mistakes are ok because she is weak/helpless? Can you imagine if Igor never reincarnated too? RIP Crichton. It is even MORE ironic considering the current global landscape because it is like A SINGLE PERSON saying "nah" to stopping the COVID19 outbreak. [Yes, before Rhia tries to whitewash her way out of this, she had all the resources to stop the plague, but doesn't do anything because "she was scared." Sigh.] This was my tipping point. It is not even about Igor. Dimitri deserved better than the cousin who spit all over his dreams/freedom and wanted him to go to WAR for her "safety/feelings." (Not just that, this WISE, SAINTLY hypocrite told Dimitri to "grow up" and "endure hardships (of bloody war) "... then you see her performance in BOTH lives. FML.) And yet Dimitri is still expected to suffer to help this self-serving wimp? Even Igor did more for Dimitri than Rhia. Rhia must be relieved that Dimitri never discovered her true thoughts. When does the Igor-clean up crew stop in this novel? Will Rhia ever be punished for her own mistakes? Who knows...

The author really hit it out of the ballpark with her disapproval of Rhia in this novel after I see the biased reader comments. Rhia fought for a total of NOTHING and NO ONE in this novel... so that was the ending I wanted for her. Is she looking for servants or partners/friends? This woman really was born a queen. She might have lacked the competence for that role, but she sure had the entitlement down.

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Rhia's "deserving-ness" (Both the primary plot driving force and the primary plot hole)

Spoiler

If you are reading this novel for Rhia and how she "deserved" better, you should drop this novel. She wasn't some sacrificial saint... not even close. A good test of this is: During this entire novel... WHAT ACTION did she do that was good for someone else? The most she offers are words of "wanting" to do good things. Doesn't do it herself. Doesn't value it when someone else does it for her. She doesn't think to care about another human most time. She is busy thinking of herself. If you can't answer this question, why should ANYONE be obligated to be nice to her? Start to near end, the same selfish person did nothing to help anyone but expects everything hand delivered to her. When it is NOT, the author is accused of "victim shaming" since Rhia doesn't get babied with enough love from everyone who must read her mind about her past trauma. -_-; The character who DOES understand and tries to help gets trampled over in both lives. The excuse for this behavior is her childhood... but does that mean the hurt of repeated trampling doesn't hurt the loser getting trampled anymore? Especially when the person doesn't even know about her problems... (Igor in the first life). People always give Igor flack for "knowing more"... but where is this info supposed to come from? Rhia can't even use her eyes to help her struggling husband, who she allegedly cares for very much, with mending the bond between his mother. Igor has a better reason to misunderstand Rhia than the reverse.

Furthermore, only Rhia relies on the abuse-excuse. She had a hard life, but no one can drag an unwilling person, kicking and screaming to their recovery. The victim must take some responsibility (She and Igor has chances to change, even back in their first life. Only Igor cares to). This victim mentality is why people like Rhia are very unpopular and often ostracized in real life. Because everyone eventually gets tired of helping someone who cannot value their help or doesn't wish to change. Just because she is depressed, doesn't mean she is allowed endless forgiveness for acting like the same selfish person. Understanding reaches a point where it becomes enabling bad habits. I don't even extend that forgiveness to Igor or the villains. Why should Rhia get that luxury for the ENTIRE novel when the others also had psychological issues that they rightfully have to amend with THEIR OWN WILLPOWER? Rhia needed someone to take initiative and provide the solution FOR HER. The double standard of what Rhia needs to do versus what other characters need to do to "prove" their worth... Others put in the effort and paid their price, Rhia wanted Igor to pay the price to heal her. She couldn't and wouldn't have done it for his or her own sake. Even then, she is still greedy for more? Sometimes I wonder if she has enough "niceness" to be cooperative with Igor if he didn't give a peace offering first (Every. Single. Time). She parrots her vast love for him, but does she do anything first for him (besides breathe and exist) to prove her love? I couldn't follow her thought process. She feels one thing; her actions suggest another. Am I being baited with hard to get?! (What a sh*t game. 0/10 Would not play again).

The reason for Rhia's "deserving-ness" was the BIGGEST plot hole. Everyone loved Rhia for her mere existence, but where or when does she contribute to anyone's life? Story made it seem like Rhia "deserved" all these rewards ONLY because she was pitiful. It kept telling me how "nice" Rhia was, but there are feeble examples of it. And no amount of "niceness" she does warranted this much laborious effort by the others. Promotes this idea that if someone (especially female) has a pitiful enough childhood.... people are REQUIRED to help that person. When those people get tired of offering their futile support, they are "heartless" because they "victim shame" the victim for never getting better (the victim DOESN'T wish to change). When people DON'T know about her abuse and cannot win against her lose-lose victim mentality, they are "justifiably" punished with Rhia's following selfishness because they didn't help enough (Helena, the fk you to Crichton, Dimitri & war, the Duchess after Leticia returns, Igor in the first life).

With the barebone contributions and communication Rhia gave, none of the good guys owed her a lick of kindness. People are nice to her because they are good people, but they shouldn't be shamed if they give up on an uncooperative, self-caring person. Igor doesn't abuse the woe-is-me to make others feel guilty and s*ave for him to get stuff done. He always knew how to work when the going gets tough to right his wrongs, even in the first marriage - Rhia doesn't care enough about another human to see the value in mutual relationships. If I had as much (zero) contextual info as the good guys (since Rhia never communicates), I would've given up a long time ago in this subservient relationship. I don't have that much altruism in me to keep giving to someone who only knows how to take to get what she wants. And I'll bet the same attitude goes for most of the Rhia supporters who encounter severe victim mentality people like Rhia in real life. Like the saying goes: Talk is cheap, actions are expensive. Don't talk until you are ready to put your money where you mouth is. Applies perfectly to Rhia's "I want to help people" emptiness and those who say Igor should do more. Rhia gives self-proclaimed pious lip service; Igor knows how to work to earn, even if his actions were half-brained.

Rhia chooses to live in naivety because she is weak and lacks the care for those outside of her pain. She feels consoled by her victim status. She is never wrong if she remains the victim to some intangible force. Same when she re-lives. The victim-excuse gets pulled every time.

Didn't make sense the expectation the story (and Rhia) has of others to sweat for her to gain.

Ignoring the Rhia-deserves-everything-just-because-pity, this tragedy demonstrates the WORK and TALK needed to form the foundations of a relationship. Igor only lacked TALKING. Rhia lacked BOTH. Author did well in showing the importance of both.

She finally stops pulling the victim card after Igor s*aved and sacrificed to gift her everything she could ever possibly want. For those glorious 15%, I was comforted by the fact that no sudden problems could arise from her victim mentality.

I only cheered for this couple because they already drained too much of my emotional investment and time into this tragedy. I clung onto that hope of happiness, no matter how much toxic behavior I had to trudge through. Sunk cost fallacy. I pretended the HEA meant everything was butterflies and rainbows, and all their individual emotional issues went into a puff of smoke.

Without the other characters propping her up, I saw nothing attractive about Rhia. Period. Her defining quality was her woe-is-me and that got stale when I saw how much her selfishness and passiveness caused her problems. Plus, unlike Igor, she always tries to pawn the work and blame onto others instead of having the empathy for another to invest in a mirror and look at her own inadequacies, without needing someone to take action and telling her to stop being so self-centered.

My issues with her were not because of her passiveness or weakness (normal in depression). It was her utter lack of ability to empathize (common between her and the villains) → makes a conscious selfish actions to make herself happier or safer but it just hurts herself and others. Doesn't try to mature out of this mentality. The cause and solution to her selfishness is pushed onto someone else since she's self-serving and doesn't want to see to her own choices. Overbearing character flaw that persists for 85% of the novel. If she didn't just coincidentally happen to be the female main, no one (readers or the rest of the characters) would have bestowed this selfish/unempathetic person with this much unconditional love and support to ensure her success in life.

It is pathetic to summarize, but Rhia was: blame others, cry, sit around ruminating in her depression, and expecting telepathy. So exist as an entity and react to plot changes. Other than her fundamental presence, every other plot advancement was done by another character.... Not a great main POV for storytelling. Rhia was just along for the ride. I have too high of expectations of my plot and character... I gave Igor the decent rating because Igor acted for both the plot to move and for both characters to develop (he basically developed to compensate for Rhia. Rhia only developed as a by-product/reaction to his development. All for his love of her and her "deserving-ness"). Unlike the other characters who have Rhia-fever, I don't give an automatic good mark just because Rhia has the "endurance" to exist/breathe/react in this novel (and do not much else besides that) - what barebone requirements the story had of their FL.

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She really didn't deserve any better; she deserved WORSE/NOTHING. She was tr*sh for 85% of this novel (I checked my progress bar on my ereader. That was how long it took for her to get her sh*t together). It is unfortunate that the release is serialization because if someone sat down to read this novel from in one go, their opinion of Rhia would PLUMMET. The author deliberately wrote most of this novel with a biased, unreliable narrator, otherwise people would realize EARLY that Rhia is a walking joke.

As much as I want to drop my rating because of Rhia, I can't ding the author on it. Rhia perfectly presents victim mentality - it is always other people's fault, never the "victim's." And if evidence is to the contrary? Shove her head back in the ground. Rhia's steadfast resistance to mutual effort and understanding was the deliberate force that drove the lesson of the story, so why would I penalize the author when she told it so perfectly? If I rated this book only on my enjoyment of Rhia as a human or character? Zero stars.

I need to stop reading miscommunication/misunderstanding novels. 99% of them is the main narrator being unreliable and having SEVERE victim mentality, whereas the other lead is TRYING (but FAILING because they suck equally at communication OR the main narrator refuses to give them a chance). I prefer WHICHEVER lead is NOT the main narrator just because I don't have to listen to endless do-nothing but woe-is-me drivel. Passive whining is NOT entertaining to read, and it doesn't advance the plot. A double negative against Rhia being the main narrator. WTF are these relationships?!? ONLY reason I could stomach this was because of Igor's herculean efforts to make this work & enough "cute" moments of them being back in love.

You may ask, why did I re-read? Because I am a masochist like Igor. I got so desensitized to the woe-is-me that Rhia became background noise to the actual story, which was carried by other characters. The author dropped many early hints about Rhia's unreliability upon re-reading. I did skip most of Rhia's solo parts on subsequent readings since they added nothing to the plot besides more droning on about "I am scared/mad/sad." Otherwise, story was well done. <<less
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Osamu Yuu
Osamu Yuu
Feb 09, 2020
Status: --
I really like this story plot about rebirth, and I liked even more that in this novel the FL, after rebirth, has to already go against everyone and start her revenge plot.

However, there are things my stomach's too weak to handle (one of such is cheating).

I can't relate to the idea of your husband cheating on you with your sister while you're pregnant, he not even giving a sh*t about apologizing or something--actually, he didn't even went to check up on her after she lost their child because of him!!--... more>> and then, just because you're back in the past and the tragedies didn't happen yet, you think is a healthy idea to, what, "love" him again?

B*tch, you can't even love yourself, how are you going to love someone else T T you know that I mean??

Let's not even talk about how he was angry about his mother being a better ruler than him, and then he turned to the FL, full of petty rage and petty punishment. She just took everything with open arms of course since she's an angel, god forbids if she even thinks of having her own opinion.

I understand he's in a tricky position, with little power in his hands, but HELLOOO? Sulking in a corner won't help!!

Let's also not talk about the whole r*pe situation... I mean all the times where they had s*x but it wasn't really sex... I mean that was r*pe wasn't it? I'm pretty sure she said in one of the chapters something among the lines of 'he was more violent than the other times'.

Anyway this is not my cup of tea, and having in mind that in my eyes the ML is scum already, I'll probably not be able to read it to the end. I hope the FL all the best thought, she went trough some and then more, I think she deserves a happy ending. I just can't see her having a happy ending by his side. <<less
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Ro
Ro
Jan 08, 2020
Status: c15
If I go by the novel description, she'll be marrying the same person again after rebirth and fall in love with him again. So it's just like falling in the well in broad daylight. I love to read rebirth novels so decided to give it a try, but the ML is scum, even if it's only in past (if I go by description) it's still a big turn off to continue reading the novel. For now I'm just giving it a chance. I know there are a lot people who... more>> argue about giving second chances but call me a hypocrite but if there's any person whom I like to see having second chance that would be MC only. (The power of MC halo :p) No one else deserve it even if the cause for past mistake was misunderstandings. <<less
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ZeroXOXO
ZeroXOXO
Jun 29, 2020
Status: Completed
I was originally going to keep quiet, but many reviews here totally misrepresent the author and this story's theme. This "review" page is SO deceptive... there should be a FILTER FOR COMPLETED REVIEWS if you actually want to know what this story is about. Most 'completed' reviews echo the same sentiments as me, but people who know less/didn't finish like to talk down and patronize to those who did finish as if they "know more"... in hopes of misrepresenting this into a "normalizing abuse" novel. (spoiler, most think it's not.)... more>> Even if you ignore the ML and this "romance", it is completely possible to have justified criticisms of the FL... that isn't just "victim blaming" or whatever. Her "victim" label doesn't make her immune to criticism. People who think that this is "romanticizing abuse" should read some spoilers or just not review because some wrongdoings they accuse of the ML isn't even true.

Common consensus comp. readers have about ML that disputes early accusations:

Spoiler

Early readers are misunderstanding WHY he says "it's all my fault" in his pov.

He is not blameless, but he is not above redemption. Few think he was justified to act how he did back then. If he repeated what he did back then in his second chance, readers would shoot him. Very few would say he had a malicious or abusive intent to exert control over FL at any point - worst he did was not pick the a better course of action back then, but even that was driven by his selfless (but still wrong) rationale. Very few (there probably is still some) would call him a habitual rapist or abuser for the sh*ts and giggles of torturing FL. For sure, r*pe happens once (after Dimitri's visit). I'm not going to deny a fact. I can also see why people would think the uninformed FL sleeping with him in second life can be considered r*pe/non-consensual. But with how it ended, I see no one up in arms about this issue.

Most think he went above and beyond in relation to his sins. I'd argue that a fair number think he was too good for FL in first and second marriage. Unlike someone, he doesn't play the blame game and doesn't want pity from FL or audience. He seemingly picks a sh*t method to "win" FL... but his deliberate actions result in boons for his enemy. He didn't go through all this trouble to "assuage his own guilt". He isn't out to "force" his love onto FL. He gives choices to FL. He doesn't think FL "owes" him anything. He literally wants nothing but the FL to be happy... and it shows in all of his selflessness spread THROUGHOUT the entire novel (not just empty platitudes and pseudo-sacrifices that FL likes to paint herself with). He is not immune to criticism; he had incredibly problematic qualities too. But most readers were satisfied that ML worked hard for both to be happy. I read the most neg comments for the complete NOVEL (not serial) edition on primary webpg (so those who bought + finished the everything, instead of DNFing before 20%). The number of readers who still hate ML are a minority. More dislike the FL at the end.

I don't want to convince or force anybody to read or like this. I'm just saying it for what it is, and how the trajectory of the story goes. Understandably, many quit before the end. There is every right to hate and dislike this novel. LOTS of irksome things about it. This book deserves more neg constructive criticism... for reasons deeper than "ML is an abuser" (hair-pulling narrative being the most common hate). It's perfectly expected to not agree with my review or any of those conclusions from the other comp. readers. It mostly bothers me that many incomplete reviews are misleading speculations that aren't reflective of the final product. Some feel like downright guilt-trip and offensive to the author or translator for allowing this book to be written or translated since it has an "abusive" ML and oppresses a "victim" FL. If this book isn't for you, it isn't for you.

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I have never seen such horribly unreliable reviews for any novel ever... almost 95% of these are DNF. Imagine going on goodreads or amazon and relying on these types of reviews? I left this review for the author/translator's sake since their efforts deserve more than this cursory glance. There are an abundance of complaints that other finished readers can have, but whenever any criticism mentions the FL, it is written off as invalid/worthless/a thirst for ML...

Average (3.5?) because the excellent got weighed down by the horrendous. To be fair, the good is VERY good, while the bad is more of personal distaste. I'll be generous to the author...

GOOD - Writing quality, thematic setup, characters (ML, side, villains)

BAD - FL (A preview: FL = blame game + pity party + do nothing) , repetitive storytelling

All characters felt realistic, but it does not mean all of them were pleasant to read. Making mistakes is human... but to keep repeating them is asking for divine punishment. If you are interested why I don't like FL, you're welcome to read my LONG review. If you think this is just going to be "victim blaming", please stop reading right now. I don't want to trigger anybody with my opinion. If you are even remotely suspicious about whether you'll enjoy rooting for the FL... this is a worthwhile (spoiler-filled) read. Most won't be as turned off... but I felt overwhelmed by her combo of bad traits, balanced with almost nothing memorable beyond pity (even that withered away). That said, I don't regret reading it because the frustration book's theme did resonate with me.

TL;DR of both leads

Spoiler

ML deserved a second chance since he reflects and uses it to be a better human being and fictional character. He made everyone's life (not just FL) better, even people he had no responsibility over. FL did not deserve a second chance since she chooses to repeat her same failings (irresponsible, self-centered, ignorant) without consideration for others. Her initial perception is very misleading. She has many chances to ask and evidence that challenges her "all-knowing" knowledge but she is so smug about what she knows that she refuses to think deeply because it would be like confronting her own failures. Even when you look back, the ML always told her the truth (in a really roundabout way) when she asks, but she DOESN'T TRUST him. She blackens his goodwill and believes everything to be the worst, but she doesn't want to ask for more clarification. ML has a believable (selfless, but still wrong) reason for his unspeakable position in both lives. Most importantly, SHE LIKES TO 'STAY IN THE DARK' in both lives. She isn't "forced" into it by the ML. FL sucks more than ML at communicating.

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Details behind the "FL = blame game + pity party + do nothing"
Spoiler

He tries SO hard to change her mind when they interact in both lives. Keeps giving her chances. Keeps helping her out in both lives... but she doesn't appreciate any of it nor does she think that he might actually be a good guy worthy of at least an explanation. He keeps asking for any sign that she is ready to talk. He was always planning on telling her the truth in both lives. He keeps dropping obvious hints.

The main reason people have problems with her is in the last 1/3 of the novel. A wishy-washy character. Cries when he is around. Cries when she pushes him away. Cries when he finally takes the hint and stops bothering her. Cries when he "doesn't love her" anymore. Just keeps crying and pitying herself instead of doing anything... the EXACT same as how she was in their first marriage. She loved to play mind games with herself. For every "bad" thing that happens in her life, she MUST spin it as "it is ML's fault" in order to maintain this defense mechanism as a "helpless victim to fate"... but as seen in other perspectives, SHE CREATED/INTRODUCED THE PROBLEM. NONE of the other characters besides ML understand why FL acts so emotionally unstable... and then he tries to talk, he is SHUT DOWN because FL doesn't want to relinquish her "faultless victim" facade. Indecisive as hell.

She became unbearable when all the "truths" she knew was starting to crumble as more gets revealed with important events and/or outsider info... then ML was like "can we talk?" and she is still like "no." This convo happened 2-3 separate times. Unreal. She keeps rejecting his attempts so that she can keep using the ML as a reason to dismiss her own failings, even in events unrelated to him. Keeps repeating "what is the point of asking, I know better, I am scared to know." But she doesn't even like her own answer because now, the ML respects her wishes and backs away instead of showering her with undeserving affection. So back to the pity party? One of the most common criticisms that I saw was that you could have shortened this novel by 1/3 because nothing but crying happens in her perspective. Story padding was at the mercy of her emotional victimization.

To put in perspective HOW obvious these hints are and how much the FL already knows (info that she reveals from her first life)... FL deduces the entire truth by herself with no additional aid from ML at the end except for finally opening her ears and hearing him say "I didn't do it."

It is bad enough that she doesn't reflect on obvious mistakes (Ex. maybe she should help ML out with his mother, instead of always dismissing his problems and putting him down as a "bad" son. She does this twice.)... she doesn't even want to use the knowledge she readily has access to.

FL did great in exerting her right to ignorance. Never seen someone wave the flag of ignorance so proudly and shamelessly. She stood her ground and defended her beliefs (even if they were selfish and wrong). She didn't let the ML or anybody push her around or try to enlighten her, so maybe that new assertiveness can be her character growth. Stubbornness to validate her dumb actions. ML was also a huge pushover for FL. FL didn't need to do much convincing to make him comply with her. An absurd couple.

But wait... it doesn't even stop there. After the truth comes out and her admitting that the ML is not the villain she thought he was... FL makes ANOTHER cowardly, bad choice... which she cries over. Does she even care about her OWN happiness?

I can't help someone who can't even wake up and realize that she needs to WANT to help herself first. I'm not even going to go into how she hurts her loved ones with her choices because that is a given with this selfish character. FL is not obliged to return ML's affections, but if FL wants rewards for herself (who cares about others, amirite?) , she has to work for it to happen herself. Is that not the rock bottom condition for most?

FL was actually delusional. Any reader can tell what she really wanted, but she kept shooting herself in the foot because she refused to work for it. Then she cries because she wants her happiness to be someone else's responsibility? This entire story this woman doesn't use her mouth to say what she wants unless someone else offers it first (even then, she often turns down their offers and advice, facepalm). The bar is SO LOW for the FL (she just has to use her mouth)... but she still can't reach it. Is her mouth just a decoration? After a certain point, her actions don't even make anymore logical sense because she ADMITS that she wants xxxx... BUT she is SO stubborn that she would rather go down with her sinking ship to maintain this facade of being "right" than "risk" putting effort in and being rejected. That doesn't stop her from being sad. Now, she is crying and accusing ML for not doing more/leaving her/not reading her mind after her outright dismissal of his efforts. Wow.

Story isn't too bad if you just shut your brain off to the persistent victimizing. I can even accept a weak-willed, damsel-in-distress FL... what I could NOT accept is when she likes to paint herself to be a martyr with "pseudo-sacrifices" that all have ulterior motives for personal benefit. Where did she even sacrifice? If she didn't want to compromise, she just expected ML to sacrifice. Such hypocrisy. Even when given two attempts at life, she not only manages to do the bare minimum to help herself... she also manages to hurt every good person along the way while pushing the repercussions of her self-sabotage onto fate or ML "to fix" on her behalf.

It's not like us readers are "too dumb/insensitive" to understand the "nuances/complexities" of her PTSD/depression... however:

Who cares if she is "weak-willed"? That is NOT an justifiable excuse to KEEP hurting people. I understand why she makes bad decisions but I DO NOT CONDONE them after she keeps making them. What is the point of a second chance at life if all you do is be sad and pity those same mistakes? If she wants to make weak and bad decisions, face the consequences of her actions instead of always complaining about why other people or fate doesn't treat her better and "magically" fix her mistakes. She was a victim to her own actions. Instead of giving constant excuses to stay weak... she should be encouraged to become stronger. Only reason readers are acting like this is because FL is a TOP-TIER weak doormat who frames her biased perspective to maximize pity points for herself. So thankful that even though ML's abusive childhood also sucked, he isn't nearly as weak and pathetic. You can have a bad past and still rise above it... unless you are this FL. Then, all you get are excuses as readers encourage this perpetual pity party of one. I sympathize but I don't act as if FL is justified... over and over again when she herself cries over her own mistakes without realizing that she keeps making them.

Also, this is a novel, having poor character development is a legitimate criticism that isn't just because readers are unsympathetic jerks. If by 80% of the novel, the FL acts the same as she was on page 1... then that is poor pacing for character development, especially since the FL chooses to be like this, NOT because she doesn't have access to the appropriate resources to change.

It is like going back in time after multiple chances... and DOUBLING DOWN on bad decisions because you think if you re-do them, the outcome will change? This is what happens for people who like to play the blame game = doesn't take responsibility and reflect = no learning = cannot improve = selfishly continues to hurt herself & others.

Say what you want about the ML... but THIS is why people criticize the FL. NOT because the readers are woman-hating/"abuser"-loving people who are dismissive to mental illness. I can only overlook so much.

There are a great deal of criticisms about this novel, but people are calling the author or completed readers dumb, insensitive, woman-haters for promoting a "romantic abuse" story where we "victim blame" our poor victim princess into being with "scum" abuser WITHOUT FINISHING the story. Me? I applaud the author. She made me experience how toxic people like Rhia can be. I've never wanted to go into a novel and smack a character as much as her, and I've read my fair share of crap FLs.

True character assassination and "victim blaming" (ML was a victim to FL's decision, his own decisions, and 90% external circumstance) is what victim mentality FL does to ML at the start. Thankfully, ML never plays the victim, or I'd bury him too because he isn't some faultless victim either (like FL sees herself). He takes ownership of his, hers, and the villain's mistakes.

I wouldn't want to be her friend... let alone her partner. I question whether critics of the ML could have performed much better than him if they were in his shoes since he was working with a brick who refuses to listen or care about anyone besides herself.

Thankfully, she is only a fictional character. But the people that her excuses and personality "empowers" are dangerous. A criticism that the author is trying to convey. The author did NOT "jump the shark" and make the FL awful to "justify" ML... FL had this problem on page 1. There were no plot inconsistencies between FL's initial povs and ML's later povs. The author KNEW what she was doing because she wanted to show readers that it is dangerous to act like the FL (biased, self-involved in their own victimized mindset, keep giving excuses for repeated mistakes)... The author used multiple examples and OTHER characters to call out the FL for being so ignorant, passive, and non-verbal. Even the author didn't think FL was a good person, but everyone will literally go to such lengths to paint FL as such.

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Out of the many misunderstanding-type novels I've read, FL wins the trophy for being the most annoying lead. I have no patience for passive characters who only complain and repeat mistakes... I don't even think this opinion is an outlier since others in my position came to the same conclusion.

Who is to blame? Why my reaction to the two leads were different:
Spoiler

First marriage failed because of both of them, not just ML. Neither can express themselves, but FL has more underlying issues that came from her trauma.

Can't even consider it r*pe because both leads were under tremendous external pressure because of their roles to have an heir. It wasn't like the FL didn't know when she signed up as his queen. ML wasn't even the one pressuring her... she just spins it that way. ML's perspectives show that he was equally reluctant... but he is treated as "an abuser" because "he has more power" (jokes, he doesn't because FL keeps sabotaging him with his mom)... People are applying modern standards to a historical context... someone like the FL would NOT have made it very far as queen since the only thing that queens needed to do was produce an heir. It wasn't like FL brought great political boons to the country or the ML. This argument was always groundless because even the FL agrees to her duties to the real big bad... but not in her initial perspective (of course... because how else can she spin this as ML = abuser?). She wanted their first kid and their marriage to succeed too... She just put in no effort.

So many things critics blame ML for can also be blamed onto FL but only the ML is criticized extra harshly while the FL is always excused because she is "weak." I don't promote "weak" characters like her, so I'm not going to applaud staying weak + refusing to grow up + minimal growth as desirable traits in my fictional stories. Doesn't want to fight for what she doesn't want, doesn't want to fight for what she DOES want. Keeps running away & crying. I'm mostly frustrated because she gives up on herself before even giving a worthwhile attempt... and this passiveness doesn't change for most of the novel. Instead, she blames ML and pats herself on the back for a hard days work.

I have much more respect for the ML, who had a stronger mental resilience despite equally difficult hardships, and went to such extreme and selfless efforts to correct his mistakes for HER sake... when he could have just given up like FL does on day 1 of both lives. He doesn't even expect anything in return besides hoping that she is happy. Which... if you care to read until the last page... you see how much happiness FL achieved from reaping his efforts. Without him, FL would never have worked for her own happiness. Before, she was alive but not living.

She should thank the heavens that ML has endless patience and love for her because I do not. All FL knew how to do was stomp on his feelings, belittle him, and push him away. He is only human. No one can take continuous rejection and betrayal well... unless you are this lovesick ML. You know an author writes a good redemption when you end the novel feeling like the "victim" is undeserving and/or should be the one who begs for forgiveness... since the "bad guy" already paid his dues. But do I want another thirty-some chapters of FL? Maybe not. So let's just write it off with the happy ending.

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Personal opinions that addresses the excessive commentary on ML's wrongdoings, and the non-existent commentary on FL's wrongdoings in this "romantic abuse" story I see in early reviews. FL made plenty (equal to ML), but no one ever wants to criticize the girl.
Spoiler

Rhia - represents a toxic person that I would hate irl. A self-victimizing person who never takes responsibility and does not improve, even when given the freedom of numerous opportunities. Even if she doesn't realize it herself, subconsciously, she had a very high expectation of what others need to do for her in return for the non-existent little effort she offers them. Paints herself to be flawless and all-knowing because she is scared to acknowledge her own role in her downfall. My dislike is only heightened after seeing those who will coddle and dismiss any wrongdoings this character does. Felt like this character jumped off the pages into reality, so it was too much and too prolonged of realism for my escapist fiction. This character promoted an unhealthy adult attitude and expectations of platonic and romantic servitude "love." People who keep bringing up her trauma just encourages bad decision making - just because your life sucks doesn't mean you get a free pass to do harm and get away scott free. This is what incomplete reviews accuse the ML of... when it was the FL who ultimately acted like that. So is it excusable now because she is a woman? Guaranteed female readers would get the pitchforks out if FL was male. A laughably absurd character... only exacerbated by her advocates. There ain't no such thing as a free lunch... if she wants to reap the rewards... work for it. A vacuous character, filled with hot air of her self-righteous goodness and efforts, with no meritable input or results, conducted on her part, to show for.

Igor - In comparison, he was decent, if not arguably braindead and lovesick for tiresome FL. This type of unwavering dedication should only exist in fiction because it would otherwise be a toxic romanticization of the selflessness/desperation/sacrifices needed to be "worthy" of "love." Otherwise, he was a fine character since he actually developed properly. HE was the one who should have more self-respect and do better than a selfish woman who only cared about helping herself. He had his issues too... but they were peanuts compared to FL because he corrects all his mistakes early on in the second life. At least he KNOWS how to repent and reflect. Doesn't need an external party to grow some awareness and improve. Much greater empathy, seeing beyond his personal misery than FL.

Everyone is so "obsessed" with him "starting a war"... when:

1. It is later explained in detail that there was more to the Igor's "war" and his "rule." Even villains will say ML was a good king to Arundell but readers need to scrounge and distort any reason to continue to hate on ML and his "tyrannical war." He didn't just do it for FL... he did it to BETTER HIS COUNTRY, just like he says he would in the first life... (even the "abused" FL AGREED with his actions AS KING since it made HIS COUNTRY prosper). Plus, with his actions, he knowingly saved HIS ENEMY COUNTRY from many worse outcomes (his actions made his opponents a better country too by the end)... He isn't out to terrorize her home country. Meanwhile... our FL...

2. FL was ok in allowing more people die by waiting for the plague to happen to save herself... for NO understandable reason? She already had a end date for their contract... but still has no will to help her only friend or her family avoid an inevitable plague and war that decimates her home country to ruins because she was a coward and needed some help in 1 year (idk why when the contract already ends?). How can I say this was wrong? Because even FL knew it was. She wanted to confess for 6 years, but her doubts evaporated when she prioritized revenge on Crichton's royal family (... Helena's family) and her rescue by Dimitri. All she had to do to solve this potential problem was speak up but she just does nothing. When she finally has an "epiphany" (waits until it is almost too late to intervene...) that a plague + war = bad idea... ML saved her country already.

You should call out ML's war... but you should ALSO CALL OUT the FL's selfish actions. She had the HIGHEST potential kill count in the second run... and it was her own people she was abandoning. ML was a king going after the enemy that he has no personal ties to (which is not that unrealistic or abnormal in history). FL? She valued herself over the people who loved her unconditionally for 6 years (a reoccurring theme with FL). Both are morally wrong, but which sounds worse?

People will excuse FL for "not being a mind reader or having reader omniscience." But FL never talks, so ML also has none of that info in the entire first life... and for a portion of the second life since FL likes to CREATE new problems by playing self-sabotaging mind games with herself. They were on an even playing ground in reasons for sucking at communicating and misunderstanding. It's hypocritical to blame ML for "not doing better" when FL should also be held to the same level. Not just that, every single character, villains AND side, tells the FL to smarten up, but she likes to turn the lights out in her brain, so she can retreat back into her imaginary safe space of "ML is responsible for all my problems." It's not even about "ML knowing more in the second life = he can improve."... it is "ML cares enough about FL to LEARN more and improve... while the FL CONTINUES to REFUSE to open her eyes and ears to reality... even if it is to improve HER OWN LIFE."

If I was the ML, I wouldn't even want to help out a weak-willed FL who keeps betraying me to the enemy. (There is multiple examples of when ML helps FL in the first life hidden in many other perspectives that is not the FL's because the FL will never interpret the ML and his goodwill.) If the FL wants help so bad... why doesn't she just ask the person she trusts the most (her godmom) instead of expecting the ML to pick up the slack? Better yet, why doesn't she go after what she wants and help him first? Or just speak up and ask for help? She just has to give him SOME signal that she cares... but she doesn't. Now she is complaining that he couldn't read her mind after her umpteenth time of hurting him. If both had average human reactions in reality, this political marriage would've just deteriorated into a cold avoid-each-other-as-much-as-possible marriage. But nope... despite all this unwarranted paranoia, ML is still toiling in the background to make FL happy and stop her from creating even more problems for herself.

While the misunderstanding theme was well maintained, I think the author made a mistake with the direction of FL's growth. Their dynamic left me feeling bitter at the toxic portrayal of a "true love." While superficially "happy, " if you really think deeply about their actions, the FL was very self-involved throughout and unworthy of the ML. I needed more selfless effort from the FL. For me, ML was better off alone or dead than being with someone who could only "be brave" if the ML paves the way for her first. Maturity in personal growth and in relationships should come from realization of mistakes instead of being reliant on someone else to fix everything for you, absolving yourself of any culpability... only for you to continue to take from them. Because of how generous ML was, FL was not made to be responsible for much beyond her own happiness... and even that she had difficulty in achieving without wanting more of his sacrifices. FL wasn't intentionally malicious... but her obliviousness and perpetual irresponsibility over her thoughtless actions made her not a very pleasant person either. People who unconditionally excuse her as a "pitiful victim"... I question whether anyone would want to put in the colossal effort to "help" her irl, unless they want to be a do-all s*ave to a "pure" white lotus who does nothing but take advantage of others since she refuses to care about the consequences of her actions or inaction.

Everything that led to her downfall... began with her choices. (Obviously, FL is not at total fault since the villains exploited the circumstances that she helped arrange. ML did a sh*t job too, but he smartens up on his second attempt, so I don't have to see a RE-RUN of dumb choices). She was miserable in Arundell in the first life and plagued by nightmares in Crichton in the second life. Incessant helplessness while this woman chooses to suffer in passive silence, over and over again. Her life keeps spiralling out of control from her own complacency and lack of motivation for self-improvement. This stagnancy is embraced (even actively encouraged) because ML her past is the catch-all reason to not ask for help or face her fears or change... ever. What "triggering" factor is supposed to kickstart her life? Because she's been waiting for it for a while.

Her mental illness may be understandable, but it CANNOT be the catch-all excuse for her numerous horrible decisions. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that her input was much less than the output she wanted from her friends ("oblivious to the truth" isn't a good excuse... she was more REFUSAL to think or empathize to avoid the possibility of feeling culpable). She had glaring flaws... not things to be proud of, no matter her reason for it.

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FL's growth babysteps.

Spoiler

Don't mistake my dislike for the FL as a "pro-ML" or "excusing" a "great" ML. I didn't like them together. My reasons for disliking FL is in isolation of who she was as a person, who was given a repeat at life, in conjunction to many minor hints and chances that she refuses to seize because she thinks herself to be "infallible and justified."

1. Dismisses any responsibility and refuses to consider her actions against others

2. Does nothing for anyone else's benefits asides her own in both lives, even disregarding her actions against the ML

3. Makes pseudo-sacrifices out of fear or personal gain but plays it off as selfless virtuousness

4. Is too resistant to facing consequences for too long. The person she ends up hurting the most is herself... but she keeps doing it with no introspection.

5. Perpetually unhappy... She is miserable because her life sucks but she doesn't do anything herself to change her circumstances, expecting others to do it. But when someone else tries to... she is unhappy because it is not HOW she wants it changed... so she complains some more. She also refuses to speak up about what she truly wants. It was an unending cycle of unhappiness and passiveness. Then, she accuses someone else for her unhappiness...

How DO you win with someone this stubborn and immobile? Keep giving so she feels compensated for her 'efforts' when she reaps their rewards?

None of the above applies to the ML in either lives. Just because someone was a victim, doesn't mean they aren't responsible for their wrong choices. If she doesn't want to reflect and continues to make bad choices... face the consequences of her actions, instead of complaining that others should fix it and dismissing blame when harm befalls you or others. There were so many things they could have done better in the first life. This is my rule for both leads, but only the ML has the empathy to care to learn in the second. Any potential second leads dodged a bullet with this garbage FL. Frustratingly dumb doesn't even begin to describe her.

I never comprehended why this woman was "so great" or "worthy" because I thought the ML was braindead, unless the only explanation is "her childhood sucks" or "she never intended to hurt anyone." I don't subscribe to the idea that "no intent to hurt or purposeful inaction = no wrong done." She was the bystander to a crime who walks away after doing nothing, feeling justified... sometimes acting victimized by being inconvenienced by what occurred before her person and as per her request. Even dumber when she finally STOPS doing nothing... she just hurts others with more selfishness. I didn't even know what I wanted from her because she sucked at both doing nothing and doing something.

FL is not the worst character written. It is the opposite. It's just too much realism, y'know? Author did good at showing how childhood abuse can manifest a victim mentality (her willful ignorance). I can even forgive that... until it became that in combo with her inherent temperament that she had on day 1 of childhood (selfishly craves but passively expects love from newcomers who have never even hurt her). She never wants to earn anything from newcomers; they were just expected to throw themselves at her feet (which is what all her real friends do to gain her friendship). Everyone had to come TO her, offering some olive branch. (ex. all the times the Duchess had to come crawling with an apology or explanation since FL always mistrusts at the slightest sign of "disloyalty." I only wish she had that paranoia in the first life with that traitor maid. No questions were ever asked by FL about that blatant disrespect or the person who assigned the maid. But every thing ML does? Unending paranoia). Second life FL's ire to ML was expected. I felt more for how hard Basil + Duchess beg repeatedly, when neither ever did anything wrong. They took the beating for those who wronged her in her past life.

That's FL's MO. Dad hurts her. Takes it out on ML because she thinks he will be the same deadbeat husband. Disapproves of mom's resolute clinginess to sh*t marriage leading to her unhappy childhood. FL does the same with ML marriage but solely blames the lack of involvement on ML. She repeats the same mistakes of forcing a one-sided marriage as her parents that caused her unhappy childhood. But it is always just ML's fault. Leticia and ML hurts her. Takes it out on 2nd life seemingly "clueless" ML and punishes him for "his future". Court life (godmom, ML) hurts her. Takes it out on ML (but never accuses the godmom for not protecting her). She suffered and died once. Takes it out on her friends in Crichton because she doesn't want to suffer again. At the heart of it, in both lives, she doesn't want to initiate or even engage in any meaningful communication or effort. Ever.

FL takes forever to realize that her above actions were wrong. Then, when she gives a pathetic apology and shows sign of "growth"... none of it seems sincere since she follows it up with repeating those same problematic traits. There was no winning with her. Insane levels of external effort was needed to heal FL.

One of those people who will treat others like dirt if things don't go her way (and it is already an uphill battle to earn her attention). FL only respects others when she is surrounded by everything she wants. Is it truly kindness if she needed the stipulation of being privileged enough to afford to be kind? The "kindness" she shows is something anyone could achieve. Anyone can be kind when they are showered by the efforts of others. True kindness is shown during how people act during the tough times.

This underlying problem is never addressed by FL herself because she excuses it as weakness and emotional trauma. The solution the book gives is for the ML to come crawling with her, begging for her to accept "the happy ending" so that she can finally be a 'good' person. So she does grow up... but the reason behind the growth? Tragic.

She didn't commit any irreversible wrongs, so NOT the worst FL. I just dislike fake-nice white lotuses, who gets everything from the tenacious effort of others. She was a bonafide hypocrite because every misery she accuses of others, she also enacts on someone she cares about (but will often not recognize). "Why does Helena not help me?" She never even thinks what she did to Helena was wrong (she only regrets not helping Dimitri). "Why doesn't ML help me?" She doesn't help ML. "Why does my dad not love me?" She would deny her child a father to protect her feelings. "Why does it feel like I'm getting abandoned in the 2nd life?" She doesn't let ML explain. "Why does ML not want to visit me in the 1st life?" She gives him the cold shoulder every time he does. Their miscommunication was dreadful. ML only takes her actions and words at face value. FL doesn't even know what she wants with her mixed signals.

She doesn't do this on purpose. She was just forever lost in her own world of high expectations that others should do for her. But when ML stops to care about his feelings after getting constantly denied, that is him being selfish? He doesn't even do that. Everything he did ended up for her benefit or what he thought she wanted. Whatever she wants, she gets. So ML also angered me for encouraging that toxicity with his pushover, limitless love.

An overexposure of grating character decision. Only advice I have is to stop thinking and accept the plot for what it dictates must happen next. This story is a step-by-step guide of everything not to do in a relationship.

Unlike ML, I would never redo this because I am not up for round two of this romance couple's therapy. That was the real tragedy. ML's IQ points and growth suffered as they fell into the gutters to force him on the same emotional playing field as FL. He got dumber each time he tried to appease her. His whole self-esteem is hinged on the happiness FL gets from taking advantage and stepping over him, without a single glance at herself or back at his difficult position. An imbalanced give-take relationship for MOST of this novel. Why does anyone like to be stepped over so much? What was there to like about the FL that needed this much sacrifice and selflessness? When I as a reader cannot understand this, it is hard to buy the absurd drama of this 'romance'. A exploration of how unaddressed mental illnesses can result in toxic relationships? Sure. A healthy romance I should see out in the real world? Yeah right. No one should take the beating for the fallout of someone else's mental illness (problem with both... one just keeps this act going for much longer because she has very little desire to self-reflect). Play s*upid games, win s*upid prizes.

Doesn't matter if they are depressed, real people (oblivious to the past) would hate to be a part of the the trouble and harm depressed FL or ML caused. But only ML has this belief. He tackled his problems and her problems. Everyone wants me to condemn ML (and expect him to grovel more) but keep "understanding" when FL doesn't change and doesn't empathize as her depression is free rein on bad selfish decisions? If I don't offer this enabling "sympathy", I'm callous to a female/lead's mental state (forget male or villains mental state, amirite...) ? The female exclusive halo around the pure FL was absurd in the book and the readers. Book showcased the toxic consequences of being a 'caring' person who 'supports' a depressed person with enabling excuses. It creates spiralling self inflicted unhappiness when the problem (themselves) is never acknowledged. FL could never be happy because no one had the balls to tell her that she is her own greatest enemy (she did not have the self-awareness or willingness to think herself so constant reliance on external parties to smarten her up). But will pro-FL readers see what the author was showcasing with the overuse of FL's self absorbed victim mentality povs? FL had more off putting traits than ML, whose mistake was being so in love that he became dumb and desperate (made him SO dumb to exaggerate the "romanticism" of his efforts).

FL was an abusive person who TOOK until she felt secure enough to be nice enough to return the gesture. And her happy ending suggests that ONLY HER (exclusive) mental-illness-is-a-GOOD-catch-all-excuse-for-self-centeredness since FL lucked out and coasted off the numerous gestures from lovesick ML (more grovelling required to 'be worthy' of the 'holy grail' FL.). Got everything for her nothing. If she GAVE more than her vacuous words, I wouldn't disapprove of the message she stood for in this romance (how to succeed as a selfish partner = enchant a lovesick idiot who has less self respect than the ground the FL walks on).

So frustrated with the unproductiveness of this character and the toxicity of this person. If FL doesn't endear me at either... what is LEFT for me as the reader?

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Plot - Somewhat long winded and tedious. Could be a stylistic choice, but it did make for a predictable plot. Author did make it entertaining by switching perspectives to villains. Villains were acceptable and felt human instead of cartoonishly evil. Themes were well executed. <<less
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08phamann
08phamann
Feb 08, 2020
Status: c21
This is going to be the typical bs drama where even after ML treats her like tr*sh and hurts her and eventually kills her, she, like a saint, still loves him and forgives him because she realises there were "misunderstandings" that prevented their love from happening. She also gets amnesia and forgets all the times he hurt her and how bad her ending was. I don't need a novel like that.
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Kalliope
Kalliope
Mar 05, 2020
Status: c36
This novel gave me some serious 'The Abandoned Empress' vibes. Prepare for a long rant.

The basic premise is that FL goes back in time as a child and vows to not repeat the same mistakes. So far, Rhiannan did this splendidly. I loved the way she ... more>>
Spoiler

kicked out her bastard father and his equally demonic daughter the moment they stepped foot inside her house. That was so satisfying.

[collapse]

From this, and the various decisions she undertook afterwards, we can see her effort to change her future and the courage it took to never let her fear outweigh her determination.

What bothers me is the ML. Igor is so much like Ruve from 'The Abandoned Empress' except
Spoiler

Ruve's actions were caused by his enemies drugging him and causing his delusions, while Igor's actions were caused by his own ignorance and his inability to believe in his own wife. They're both a**holes.

[collapse]

Disclaimer: I'm not picking either Ruve or Igor's side. For me, they're both s*upid and total scum of the earth and no matter how many times they get rebirthed, it will never erase their sins.

Like with TBE, my main concern with this novel is
Spoiler

according to the synopsis, Rhia chooses to be Igor's queen again and falls in love with him. Again.

EDIT: I stand corrected. Rhia didn't choose to be Igor's queen, she was forced to by Igor (because he's a selfish prick who doesn't care about anyone but himself) and Chrichton's prince (because he wants to protect his sister). Anyway, this just adds on to my point that Igor is a b*tch.

From what I understood in the story, Igor also got rebirthed and the way he's behaving certainly suggests a change in his character but THAT DOESN'T JUSTIFY HIS WRONGDOINGS. He did all of those things consciously and purposefully. What's worse is despite all the shitty things he did, he still insists on getting Rhiannan back. Like, how arrogant and insensitive can this dude be?

And so, I don't get how Rhia can forgive and love Igor despite everything he did when she immediately kicked Leticia (her evil half-sister) to the curb the first chance she got? Why can Igor get a second chance while Leticia doesn't? Don't be mistaken, I'm not siding with Leticia, I hate that bit*h as much as the next person, but my point is: they both caused her immense pain and suffering, so why can't they get the same treatment? I just don't understand the double standards when it comes to lead characters and villains. It's so hard to sympathize with the ML when I know that the villain can just as easily gain redemption if given the chance. I hope my point gets across.

[collapse]

End of rant. Anyway, I still love the story. It's equally exciting and frustrating and I look forward to every chapter. As always, wordexcerpt did an excellent job with the translations. They're my favorite translator, that's for sure! This one definitely deserves a read. <<less
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GoldenWoofs759
GoldenWoofs7
May 03, 2020
Status: Completed
This is one of those reincarnation/redemption situations where if you didn't finish a sizeable portion of the book, the veracity of some complaints have the weight of a grain of salt. I'm numb to this trope so I didn't ever have major gripes with the layout of the ML's apparent villainy. Until you see the whole situation, it is hard to argue that the "justification" behind the redemption was "dumb", "unbelievable", "contrived"? Everyone is jumping to conclusions here based off a biased perspective (Rhia).

Spoiler

You find out much later that most of Igor's "crimes" weren't even his crimes. Like he literally DID NOT DO THEM. Example, he didn't imprison or kill Rhia. Someone else ordered it. Rhia just assumes it was Igor based off her naive belief in a known compulsive liar (Leticia). Igor has his reasons he could not help Rhia. Those reasons were genuinely out of his control.

That's not to say Igor was blameless or not s*upid. No, both were equally s*upid and mistrustful of the other. They both had preconceived notions of who the other was based off their first impressions. But it would be hypocritical to blame Igor of his poor communication skills if you don't also plan on blaming Rhia.

Their mistrust in other people are both understandable in the context of their abusive childhoods.

The person who shows TRUE SELFLESS LOVE is Igor. Rhia causes the majority of the frustration in this novel.

[collapse]

If anything, the reader comments and hasty hate Igor gets just reinforces why real life relationships fail due to misunderstandings. People get so caught up in their own victim hood and misconceptions, unwilling to listen to the other side of the story, especially since Rhia is probably one of the most unreliable/ignorant/naive narrators. The author intentionally did this and made her to be as pitifully ignorant as possible to extend out the misunderstanding. Majority of the ridibook readers agree that this book is, at its core, about the importance of communication/trust/understanding in relationships, not about Stockholm Syndrome.

After reading, both were relatable. Igor was more multifaceted, and Rhia NEEDED the most character development. Their mutual mistakes were frustrating, but I accepted these issues for what they were. It is a story; their mistakes are contrived to be over the top. Besides, the teaser spoils that they will reunite. No need to angrily cling onto indignation and doubt everything Igor says. With time, it is made increasingly obvious of the unreliability of Rhia's initial judgement, from multiple difference sources. The story development is slow though. So if you aren't up for drawn out frustration, skip it.

Sucks that majority of ratings so far are unfinished readers who are ironically validating the author's message. (I relate to complaints that finished readers have though. They are a VERY frustrating couple with many respective issues. Various issues that will trigger different readers. If you don't want to risk your time, read some precautionary spoilers. I did enjoy this story more blind.)

Unfortunately, I did lower a star because Rhia is the worst TSTL FL in my recent reading history. If there was a Darwin award, she would win. It got so bad that sometimes, I even wished Igor threw in the towel because she was the anchor holding back the team. He needed the copious brainpower to keep both afloat. She would have died (many times over) from stubborn foolishness.
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MelodySong
MelodySong
May 14, 2020
Status: Completed
I read some of the reviews, and I can say that you can't judge a story only in the point of view of one character (Rhiannan), because then you would only have her version of what happened.

Igor didn't do anything bad,

... more>>
Spoiler

Three spoilers. He dind't cheat on Rhia. If you continue to read the novel you would understand what happened in reality, and if he dind't visit her after she lost their baby, there is a very important reason for that. At the time she fell from the stairs he fell it too, and was unconscious from that time on. When he woke up, he dind't have the time to go and see Rhia because Leticia had already killed her, and because he went to see his mother (the queen) and ask why she had accused Rhia of something she haven't done

Summarizing:

  1. He didn't cheat, and never did with any other woman.
  2. The queen is the one who accused Rhia (the queen is totally crazy, she is the villain of the novel)
  3. He didn't visit Rhia because he was unconscious in bed, and didn't know she was in jail obviously.
    [collapse]
Read the novel with open mind, sometimes things are not what they really are like. In the first part we see Rhia's POV but with the passing of the novel you would see that it was all a big misunderstanding from both sides (Rhia and Igor). I feel pity for the latter, poor Igor. <<less
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ScotlandForsythe
ScotlandFors
May 09, 2020
Status: Completed
I originally was gonna say nothing, but there are so many reviews hating on the ML without having finished the story. I read the raw and even those on the original website agree that the Rhia's view of Igor was very biased. That was the whole point. The author purposely wrote most of the story through Rhia's tinted view. She is a very ignorant and naive character for most of the story (her character developed though).

I saw one reviewer write that this story is whitewashing (or was it wiping clean??)... more>> the tr*sh ml. He isn't tr*sh. A lot of people keep saying that the author's making excuses for his actions. Y'all, the author knew what they were doing. You guys are only thinking like this because you saw the story through Rhia's biased view, so you think that the ML is now trying to right his wrongs and justify his actions, when he has little to no wrongs to right or justify because he wasn't responsible for most of the crap that happened to her to begin with. (Yes, I typed that in all on breadth).

It was really starting to bother me.

He was literally being manipulated and used by the Queen and most of what Rhia thought happened to her because of Igor were lies that her stepsister told her. He ignored her because he was trying to push her out of the queen's site which failed, obviously.

The r*pe-

Spoiler

Actually, you can just read this part to understand. Go make your own opinions. In my opinion on the wedding night they had to have s*x (though I didn't like it), it was expected of them. The other parts, it's been awhile since I read this (I happened to find it randomly when it was coming out, and I had to read it through google translate) so I'm a little blurred on what happened lol. Just go read it, I guess?

[collapse]

As for the s*x that happened with the stepsister

Spoiler

nothing I say will eclipse you going and actually reading what happened. Sorry, even I don'tget this lol

[collapse]

Anyway, I'm not saying Igor is flawless. No, he made a lot of mistakes. But so did Rhia. I'm tired of people painting her as someone who had no control, but saying Igor should have had more control over the freaking queen throwing her in jail and killing her
Spoiler

when he was in a coma

[collapse]

On the original website it's agreed that the main issue was their communication failure. So many things could have been avoided if she had talked to him instead of blindly believing her sister. So many things could have change if he'd just told her the truth instead of trying to 'protect' her (can you even call that protecting?).

So, while I don't like either characters much. They both have things I like and dislike and they had so many issues. So many. Like there was this one misunderstanding that could have been solved if she'd just asked him. Just asked him. And I don't get what it is with asian webnovel and the forced s*x scenes??? Do y'all have a different view of s*x over there cause =_=.

I'm just sick of all the one sided hate from people who are viewing Rhia through pink glasses and are unwilling to actually dig deep and see what the story is trying to say. <<less
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AileeB
AileeB
Jun 13, 2020
Status: Completed
If you are deciding to read this novel, I would really suggest you to not read any reviews which has only read till 50 ish chapters. There's a lot to the story of this novel. If you want to read about a badass FL who takes revenge and gets back then I would suggest you not to read this novel. If you are up for some hard-core angst then this is your book. This novel has a lot of angst like a lot. Enough to make you cry, bang your... more>> head and throw your phone away. I agree with all the readers who have completely read this novel. FL is a spineless and self victimising person. And her pov is very misleading. She puts all the blame on ML while she herself doesn't do much for their relationship. ML on the other hand is quite a complex character and for me the only saving grace of this novel. He has suffered so much yet his love is kind of selfless. They both love each other too much but don't trust each other. They don't even try to communicate, hence creating lots of misunderstandings. FL doesn't want to communicate and she always downplays ML as a 'miserable child who doesn't see his mother's goodwill'. While the ML is no less infuriating. He is impulsive and concludes things in his own ways. He is the typical I'll protect you from distant by being cold to you so others won't hurt you. But this story is a gem truly. Author creates a misleading view about their relationship through rhia's pov. You'll hate the ML so much. But as you read further you realise there's always two sides to a story. I literally cried while reading Ml's povs. The author doesn't white wash him or anything. She clearly portrays how miscommunication can lead to a tragic relationship. And she very well maintains this theme throughout the story. Even I agree ML did a lot in both lives. I started liking him because he knew he has done wrong, didn't use his traumatic past to play the victim card and in my opinion he deserves love and forgiveness. At the end I felt that it was the FL who doesn't deserve him. Read the whole novel and don't just go through the spoilers. Believe me reading it from start to end will hit you hard.

Spoiler

•about the r*pe: ML knew FL didn't enjoy doing it. He wanted to love her properly. But FL was so traumatized by her mother's marriage that she was very distant. He is very impulsive and childish he thought that FL was on his mother's side and was jealous of her cousin. I can't tolerate r*pe like literally but I also understand the setting of this novel. They had immense pressure from everyone to create a heir. And well this is kinda expected from the way political marriages work. But he does properly love her in second Life. He makes it up to her and she enjoys it. (I'll be honest it was initially a bit difficult to read their snu snu having pure hatred for the ML but it gradually changed for me.)

•about cheating: ML didn't do the deed with Leticia. There's a mistake in English translation. There's no mention of him putting his thing inside her in the original novel. FL saw it wrong. Leticia is really f*cked you'll see when you read further. ML only kissed her to get information out of her. They were planning to kill rhia

[collapse]

I wouldn't say he didn't cheat on her. This is my opinion using seduction even for getting information if you have a partner who is pregnant is wrong.

But I also get him. He literally has no power and is just a puppet king. Whenever he tries to do something to take power away from his mother, she always uses rhia to threaten him. It's quite sad to see even even though he's helpless, he tries to protect her in his own way.

Spoiler

ML even lets her go in the end. She gets cured of her PTSD. She becomes pregnant and he's like you can go wherever you want as long as you're happy I'm fine with it. I'll be happy with the warm memories that we've shared. The letter that he writes to her is so emotional.

[collapse]

Actually in my opinion, I'm glad he married her again. He suffered from heavy PTSD so he knew how much FL must be suffering. She had terrible nightmares and the worst thing was she couldn't explain them to others. So she had no one to help her. ML gave her his all without expecting anything back and through his love he did cure her. Yes he's selfish but after reading the whole story he does deserves the second chance. And it was him who realised how their miscommunication destroyed their relationship. He understood the reason behind fls character. But I was sad FL never made any effort to understand ml. She literally needed the ML to spell it out to her at the end.

Major spoiler

Spoiler

the title is actually about the male lead. That's what I found really interesting about this story.

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I'm not white washing the ML or victim shaming the fl. After reading the whole novel I do agree with all the readers. This novel shows the need for communication and how love is not everything in a relationship. I like how the story ended. I would really recommend this novel. <<less
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lighterxx
lighterxx
Jun 03, 2020
Status: c91
I cannot continue this novel, not with Rhia being World's Most Annoying Person Ever™

To be honest, first time you listen her perspective you feel sympathetic, assuming she had no power to change things.

But one of the chapters are from Igor's perspective and you can clearly see how hard he tried to change her opinion, he asked for a sign that shows Rhia is at his side, but Rhia constantly refused, constantly supported wrong person while not even giving Igor a chance. If I were to write faults of both characters,... more>> I would write down 25% for Igor, and 75% for Rhia. I cannot handle such a pathetic female lead who was given all the freedom to make a choice, yet choose constantly wrong thing and blamed Igor for it! <<less
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MayFlowers
MayFlowers
Jun 14, 2020
Status: Completed
Hard to rate this one. Author did a good job with the message and the writing. However, like most who completed, I agree with them about the leads, especially the FL. She grew increasingly more infuriating. Her character development came too late, so lots of eye rolling on my end. Read at your own risk? Depends on how much you can tolerate a cowardly and inactive FL whose head is in the clouds (pushes blame and uses ML and sadness as a constant scapegoat to continue making bad choices) and... more>> only changes that destructive mindset with the help of MANY MANY others. She was too mentally weak to try to better herself before and after her return. Everybody pampered her and did her work. It is a shame for the author because many readers will still fail to see her intentions that the FL needed a crapload more character development than the ML... but it still felt too little, too late. What did everybody see in her? She lacked every single sense: she was mute, was deaf, and was blind. She barely had a brain.

He had issues too, but ML was the saving grace of this novel. I was close to dropping it because of the FL's self-pity perspective. It got old fast. She felt toxic and manipulative with her infinite number of victim cards to garner undue sympathy. She was so stagnant and annoying that I contemplated skipping 25-35 chapters in the middle... but it turns out even after reading those chapters, her behavior still didn't progress much from the beginning. I didn't enjoy the FL from beginning to end, but maybe you might? I like flawed characters; I just don't want to read the same flaws for the whole thing. I have much to say about her, but the other completed reviews before me have beaten that topic to death already. [If you want to know what I mean about the FL, read EllieAllie's review. She described it best. Seems like many completed reviews have the same general comments about the FL.]

An ironic novel, if you compare the early reviewers to the people who finished the whole thing. Too bad this page is flooded with misleading reviews based off the teaser chapters. Not going to lie, most of those early reviews felt useless in retrospect since they only discouraged new readers on an unfounded basis? The completed reviews align with the opinions of Korean readers as well, especially if they read the completed novel set over the weekly releases. Goes to show you there is a lot more to this story than what meets the eye. This novel is FAR from perfect. Despite the complaints, I won't deny the author's intent.

At best, 2.5-3* for the author and characters... but that still felt TOO HIGH after recalling how much the FL annoyed me. But I don't want to discredit the good aspects for one dreadful aspect, so I'll forgo the rating. I don't know if I can recommend this because it seems like many have a hard time being open to the redemption theme, will hate ML no matter what, and are reading for the FL... but I can hardly recommend the FL as the selling point.

There was a bigger takeaway lesson than the cliche of communication = important. The author was beating me with a stick with the idea that it would suck to be with first life ML or both lives FL, but mostly the FL. I spent SO MUCH time in her head that it feels like I'm traumatized from people who act like her. She was too emotionally exhausting. Both ML and I were getting punished in this novel. Author portrayed someone with victim complex (look it up) to a T. So I learned something? <<less
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Cryptocat
Cryptocat
Jul 15, 2020
Status: Completed
4 tags can be used to perfectly describe the MC.

Naive Protagonist

Cowardly Protagonist

... more>> Selfish Protagonist

Unreliable Narrator

ML didn’t abuse the MC, the MC has a victim complex and just blamed everything that hurt her on the ML even when it was her own fault. This is how it was in BOTH lives.

I feel like a f*cking idiot for ever pitying her. I used to hate the ML but now I feel sorry for him, he was seriously way too selfless whenever it came to the MC.

I would suggest not developing any opinions or leaving any reviews until you read the entire story, blows my mind when I think back to the bias I had in the beginning.

3/5 stars

Enjoyed the turnaround and reveal in the end chapters when I realized how scummy the MC was and how devoted the ML was.

Hated the MC, she had little to no character growth and I can only seethe with anger at how she got such a happy ending even with how much trouble she caused others due to her inability to actually speak up or work in a productive manner. <<less
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Mmie
Mmie
Jun 07, 2020
Status: Completed
Lack characters development, weak FL, and ML who is overly obssessed with a weak fl.. The lesson to take from this whole novel is that communication is key.
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Kuchi66
Kuchi66
Dec 03, 2020
Status: Completed
The female lead has a victim mentality throughout the whole story and it's really annoying. She doesn't try to help herself out of situations or try to understand anything.

This goes along with the audience. The bias is so strong towards the FL that it's actually scary. None of you try to look deeper.

I already started noticing signs of the FL being incompetent on chapter 9-10, smh.

How did I even finish this? I must've been hell of bored.
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Servitor
Servitor
Apr 25, 2020
Status: c20
This story is a clear example of pretty much everything I dislike in some (romance) reincarnation novels. What is notable about this one is that it does pretty much everything I dislike in the worst way possible. The dense and unreasonableness of enemies to the point of parody. I've seen it before, but rarely as bad as this. The previous life backstory is told very dryly and for very long. For the first 20 chapters there's more 'retelling' backstory than actual 'present story' which is quite a slog to get... more>> through as it is nothing more than pure suffering told in a very poorly structured way. Details below.

Spoiler

Incredibly abusive previous life with the Male lead. Abuse, neglect, r*pe, cheating with sister which then causes miscarriage after which its neglect, imprisonment and then indirect murder. Then both the MC and the ML are reincarnated.

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Now I know the trope and I understand and fully accept that 'the other side' of this story will play out and exonerate all the crimes, but for me at some point in the abusive-ML trope you just have to go 'But I don't want this guy to be redeemed, I want him to suffer and die'. Because the simple truth is, either he was too much of a bastard/weakling to care, or he was too incompetent/weak to do anything. Either way, I don't want him with our poor MC.

Read till chapter 20. If you then think "That was horrible, I wonder what the other side of the story is" continue reading. If you think "I hope this guy suffers and dies" like me, then stop. <<less
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MsBibliophile
MsBibliophil
Oct 19, 2020
Status: Completed
Now that I have calmed down from hate reading, I’ll write a nicer review but will leave my gut reaction over why I hated it. Confusing book. Still waffling between it is genius (moral) or ridiculous (awkward development). A nice, clean 2.5. The polarizing reviews are hilarious - reactions will vary depending on whether you have female protag bias and how you read it (finished in one sitting or reviewed midway). If it weren’t for my OCD against not finishing...

The best review here is Mmie b/c it’s to the... more>> f*cking point.

Me this book: “Lord, give me patience, because if you give me strength, I might kill the ML (for being so pathetic) and MC (for being everything else).”

I agree with the bulk of the criticism. Those people are critiquing Rhia from the rule that some unilaterally apply to guys: having a tragic backstory doesn’t excuse faults. Being a victim to personal choices and being a victim to the scenario aren’t the same. Igor makes missteps, like MC, but people only pass blame onto ML. I don’t like that. I didn’t like either leads much, but one was better by virtue of the other being insufferable. MC has lots of missteps, but she doesn’t want to admit or fix it. In the first life, she is mute and incapable despite seeing a change in ML. In the second life, ML takes the first step and gives her ample chances to learn, even if she may not agree with his explanation. The idea of PLAYING victim is when her scenario is not pure ignorance, it is LEARNED helplessness and WILFUL ignorance that traps her, particularly during her second life. That is her character flaw, not just “it’s her backstory”. When you use the latter, it’s justifying her fault, which is a problem ML doesn’t have (he does something with his flaw and changes it).

If I don’t like it when abusive guys in other books exploit tragic backstory as an excuse for selfish crap, I see no reason for girls to get better reception (and rewarded for that selfishness) from me in this book. Most readers don’t care when ML or the antagonists were the ones victimised by their situations, while MC gets readers sniffling with her self imposed suffering and choices. Smells of double standards.

It is fine to have faults. But it is not fine to have no character growth.

  • MC is static.
  • MC is a shallow, boring character. Her actions and chapters are repetitive. No variation throughout. Annoyingly insecure and pompous when the scenario has a solution that is screaming at her to take.
  • MC suffers from tell not show. Writer didn’t know how to write MC and needs to glorify MC with ML's rose colored glasses.
  • The emotional depth comes from Igor and his reflection on self failure. Rhia doesn't have any reflection. Blames another person = no awareness.
  • The obstacles are artificially extended by Rhia’s pig-headedness.
  • This book should not have been an isekai. The review I agreed with the most was on the original site – it is extra pathetic if you isekai and do nothing both times. You have one leg up on the world, and you still can go nowhere with it?! Charmless uselessness, as they said.
  • I could feel ML’s love through his thoughts, actions, and words. I could feel none of the MC’s emotions to anyone b/c she only talks about herself. Story should have a longer romance rather than rehashed soap opera of problems.
  • ML was the one with Stockholm Syndrome. He built up MC to heights that he ignores her lack of personality. Don't know why someone as competent as him was in love with someone as useless as her (besides insta-love from her otherworldly beauty). It’s like he lost his spine and only showed up to fix MC’s problems, since MC was could not do it herself. I pitied him for becoming the complacent, starstruck punching bag to this insecure, wimpy girl.
ML had to be every role – the ‘selfless, bigger person’, ‘irredeemable bad guy’, ‘solution to every faults’, and ‘grovelling hero’. For what? So the story can reward MC for doing nothing. Emphasized how undeserving, useless, and dull MC was.

MC failed as a character (to grow or to evocate emotion. After the start, you are done with her whole characterisation). Without ML or antagonists, the story would be a standstill with MC crying. This is a failing on the writer’s part – to make the MC charming. This story would not exist b/c the MC doesn’t do anything from start to finish, but MC is the one that deserves a good end? Why? B/c she has the greatest ability to cry and be sad? Everyone was sad in this book, but they did stuff with their sadness.

What I don't like was how she acted during the said learning point. She never did learn. She never got that moment of clarity of how her decisions were wrong and contemplated it maturely. Sure, she was sad and regret it, but her next action is selfish and inconsiderate of ML again, so I don't see how she learnt jacksh*t. She was consistent in her actions and motivations.

Spoiler

This uselessly selfish MC wants it all done and still thinks she deserves more than him. If he actually had self love, ML would have kicked her off that high pedestal he and she placed herself on. MC only allowed ML to be happy if she STOLE happiness from him. Generous of the thief to return and graciously give the pathetic chaser the chance to share the happiness. Did she sacrifice one singular thing for ML, besides like the others say, her repeated survival? Rihannan Alessin, ladies and gentlemen, the kindest and most deserving MC. /S. The blend of her general bull**** and his pathetic devotion leave me seething b/c this is advertised as a natural, even romantic, resolution.

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Side note: I read the KR of the book, not the translated text. Rhia is not the main character (despite me calling her MC)... Igor was the obvious main character. This is more apparent when you read the KR teaser the writer put up on the purchase page about the explanation of the title. The writer never misled about the redemption or who was the true lead, but people here are acting like this was a bait&switch about Rhia.

The reason I agree with some was b/c criticizing MC is separate from ML. Majority here don’t excuse ML as the world being cruel or his backstory. He admit his faults and changes. His (&MC) mistakes were not spiteful or beyond salvation. (He withheld things, but he did it for a selfless reason. Many hide things from loved ones out of a misguided sense of protecting them).

Rhia has no actions, no accountability, no changes, and no improvement. A recipe for characterisation disaster. I guess since romance tailors to girls, girls always defend the female lead (but then it devolves into a bloodbath dog eat dog world when the female antagonists does anything. They get reduced to sl*ts and wh*res). I feel bad for the female antagonists and male characters in romance genre. This book shows that they work doubly hard to get the same welcome as the female lead lolz.

I want to immerse myself in the moral, but the idea that a LEAD does totally nothing is too big of a molehill. I'm not going to blame this as elevating ML, like people love to do here. This is a faulty writing of MC since she remains consistently doing nothing before and after isekai.

Leads aside, faves were the antagonists b/c leads annoyed me. I don’t it as black and white, where the antagonists become hate sinks for readers to dump into. These guys are real characters – they put intentions into actions. From my perspective, Leticia was the most productive character (would this story have gone anywhere without her? I think not). I understand why she resorts to such desperation to survive in the dog eat dog world. Doesn’t make her right, but SHE DID SH*T. (omfg...I can’t believe I had to preface this as my min benchmark for characterisation). The antagonists have my respects for showing the fortitude and feats of true power women who opposed their male dominated society. Antagonists were the MVPs in ending the hate read.

Book should have been written only with Leticia or Igor's viewpoints. Writer could have accomplished the same ending but also tighten up this wordy soap opera.

RAGE RANT:

Spoiler

Being a mentally weak character and being an insensitive, useless, selfish person are separate criticisms. I hated the latter. She does not help others, so she deserves her unfulfilling outcomes. Although it makes for a boring story, she can be the weak princess who needs her knight. Wouldn’t be the first, nor the last female in this genre. Writers need to get with the times; so many females have a victim or princess complex (some eat this nonsense up since people wanted MC to be spoiled even more princess like b/c of how sad she was) ? MC could cry 24/7, but it doesn’t change the fact that she get what she puts in, so why is she upset at her subpar outcomes when she does zilch to reach them... ? If she doesn’t want to be better, she doesn’t deserve better. She used two lives and still failed to do something constructive with her reset button (to avoid dealing with her trauma, she ran to Chrichton to find the next suckers who cared for her. She purposely made them clueless so they keep their positive outlook of her and would work hard to spoil her).

Hallelujah to the antagonists. Thanks for ending my hate read and making the MC STFU and listen like a proper adult instead of the haughty child she was. Should’ve killed the ML while they were at it to reward the MC more (might as well since we were on a roll in handing MC what she verbally says she wants) – she will finally earn freedom away from her ‘abuser’ or what she tells herself to sleep at night. Her obnoxious “I want more as payment for living and sitting here” is why I seethe at an ending that DID drop out of the sky into her lap for reasons unknown to me. I wanted antagonists to win and kill ML b/c death sounds better than the artificial happiness he got from this love affair with MC. MC should live to cry alone on her mountain of selfish choices trapping her in that situation. This book distorts realistic outcomes of what would have happened to ML and MC from their efforts to rewards so that it can be sold as a romance. MC’s arc made me want to throw my ipad at its unfairness. By herself, she is a write off that I will scrub from my mind. But for my own pride as a female, I seethe at what her personality and outcomes symbolize when sold as acceptable conduct from a character, by virtue of being a female character. It is romanticised as a beautiful, justified chase. The epilogue was unsatisfactory to undo my hatred. If it weren’t for how innocent their daughter was, I would re-imagine that ML died like the simp he was. Unlike her useless and selfish mother, I feel too guilty to rob Maia of her father.

Can’t trust accusations from one eyewitness – not every victim is a victim if their retelling feels devoid of self reflection. MC sees what she wants to see. She narrates her ‘facts’ with self assured certainty, without fact checking. The writer fooled readers in the first twenty chapters (stroke of genius). Hats off to the writer – she wrote a f*cking relatable MC that exposes the same problems as those who also make the same premature conclusions off one side of the story. Maybe MC had the right attitude: ‘ignorance is bliss.’ The less you know, the more freedom you have to point fingers. Stop reading when she leaves for Chrichton (like reviews hating on ML) if the book you want is ML to remain an evil abuser since the rest is exposing MC and her selfish uselessness (the fact that you’ll never see how useless and selfish MC was to her husband from her side shows what sort of wife she was. She doesn’t believe she has any fault. Her mistakes are only shown from others. It’s not like she wasn’t physically there during those events... she was there, did her part in fueling the misunderstanding, then leaves crying victim). And then, girls get upset b/c the author sullied the angelic female lead. The writer was doomed b/c girls are never wrong.

The one thing that was done appropriately was writing a shared responsibility. I do not think their actions would have been conducive to maintaining a good first marriage after seeing how both acted in it. MC could not open herself up with anyone in her second life either...

The writer could have cut me some slack and made MC not so useless, but I did come out a stronger woman. Now I relate to how guys feel when girls act hot n cold – it’s an insufferable ploy to stroke one’s ego and makes the chaser feel like garbage about their self worth.

Moral of the story is to not act like MC or ML. Nobody should be as unreasonably selfless as ML. Nothing is wrong with selfishly looking out for yourself but be useful and smart about it (did this really need to be a isekai if MC does nothing both times?!!??!). Don’t be the obstinate MC who sat uselessly to self righteously stroke her own ego and wounds, especially when the people with solutions keeps banging on your f*cking door. You can’t be useless in finding a solution and selfish in waiting for one out of nowhere at the cost of others. That’s too much. Choices have consequences. Their faults make them perfect for one another. I hope MC exploits and uses him for all he is worth, all the way to his grave, since that is all this dumbass does well. When she says to jump, he asks how high. GET A GRIP, MY MAN. Is he pitiful or mindless? Unconditional love should not be advertised as the be all, end all – relationships require effort from all participants. You can’t build something when your only skill is being alive and in love (MC in a nutshell). Actions speak louder than words. What actions or words came from MC during this soap opera? That ending... F*CK. Book ended weak b/c MC’s little to no growth overturned the growth of the only character who bothered to change. Everyone barring Igor was a static character, but that makes sense for antagonist cannon fodder, makes no sense for leads like Rhia.

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RakaSarkar
RakaSarkar
May 13, 2020
Status: Completed
Everyone here give it 2-3 stars but book is amazing.. u going to have a rollercoaster ride with it.. Do not judge the book by it's cover or I would say few chapters... ... more>>
Spoiler

everything is going on 1TL, both are reason.. u can't clap by one hand it's take two.. ML tried so herd to protect the marriage but MC didn't.. she can't stand up or herself and that's bad.. Both are hungry for for love and loved the wrong people.. So read patiently then review.. u will understand what I'm saying...

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All the best.?? <<less
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ObnoxiousLizard
ObnoxiousLiz
May 20, 2020
Status: c88
I got bored by c88 of the translation. FL as the main character doesn't seem to have developed much and from reading various spoilers, it doesn't look like she will get out of her victimized mindset either. Would have been more interesting if she realizes her wrongs and where she also made mistakes, but from the spoilers, it's all woe-is-me and nothing beyond that. There was another ongoing story I'm reading where the FL started off unfortunate with major no-one-loves-me issues due to her family and upbringing, but she makes... more>> realizations along the way and makes efforts change things despite her fear and the hopelessness that comes after being put down again and again by people and/or circumstances. It's one thing for the FL's past to pull heartstrings of readers, but another to just let her wallow and not make realizations and changes beyond simply running away and burying her head in the sand (which has already been proven to not work in this story). And unlike the other story's FL, she actually has more support here if she cares to look. <<less
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tharrinne
tharrinne
Aug 20, 2020
Status: Completed
This novel is not your typical romance novel that you mostly read, it's not always fluffy and sweet. This is a story of a married couple and their struggles in their marriage life. If you are a biased person then you may find this difficult to read, however if you are really interested how the plot goes and reveal the truth in the end you must hold on.
And I will suggest to keep reading till the end to know the whole story, some already judge it by half... more>> of the chapters.
Spoiler

[/To] To those saying that the ML is a bastard read through the whole story and you all will eat your words, ML is the most selfless character here in the story. He give everything, and did everything just for the fl.
FL is a villain in disguised, he always victimize herself and sell herself as the poor little girl who have been cheated and has been traumatized. She is the most toxic person/ character in the story, always just taking and not giving, a typical person who uses their weakness to as a reason for their behavior and blame others, she is Selfish: she always think of herself she never ask the ML and just presumes things and mostly the cause of their feud.
She is irresponsible, she never care of her responsibilities as Queen, " she was made a hostage queen" (okay yes)
"she's only a contract queen" (okay fine) however she is still queen, she thinks lightly of her role and does always want to leave, and always says hate the place, don't like their but for pete sake she is the mother of the country she is not just the individual but a representation of a nation. She even want to abandoned her child, she knows thinking too much will affect the baby but she doesn't care all she wants was to leave the palace. She never tried to understand the ML all she just care about is her own pain, (how about the pain of the others?)
She always reject the things people say about the ML because she only believe what she believed and is always contradict every good things they say about ML, and all those actions the ML does she always think negatively.
She loves her Trauma: It's not easy to recover from trauma, however if you already knew you have those fears why take at least any small actions to heal yourself, she is afraid of things will turn same thing as the first timeline however she hast done anything. The only thing she did was Run, Run and Run.
She is ungreatful: even though the ML did everything for her past and present, even those side characters cared for her, she didn't bat an eye to leave them and pursue her own selfishness. Then she will still keep asking herself why someone doesn't care for her, why people leave her, or even betray her, I mean their are people who clearly care for her but since she is selfish and s*upid she always reject those people who are genuine with her.
She always complains and blame her husband but never her faults, she knew she need to do something to prevent her demise but she did nothing, all she think was escape and then everything is over, but take note after six year of running away she is still suffering from her trauma, she thought if she escape it will help but clearly not.
She is the typical childish person who only wants the guy to do the move first, always want's to be pampered and spoiled, and she will just do nothing but she will cry if the guy misunderstand her. (He is not a mind reader)

Spoiler
[collapse]

Spoiler

[/All]All The ML had done is for her, and everything for her, but she still blames him accused him of something he didn't really do and judge without confrontation. ML's fault is having his feelings not conveyed all his plans and intentions to FL and they don't have communication which lead to all the misunderstandings. But I get where the ML is coming from, he doesn't have a choice and all the women around him pushed him to the decisions he made. His wife is very oblivious and naive in past, her mother wants to satisfy her greed, and the antagonist wants to destroy FL and conspire to win the ML's heart.

Spoiler
[collapse]

[/He]He thinks what he done is the best choice but ended up ruining everything, but all for the FL.
The first timeline was a great blow to him and made him also broken, but since FL is selfish she didn't know that.
He did everything again for the second timeline to win her, all for naught after some revelations coz' FL is stubborn and doesn't want explanation, but cries 'cause ML hide things from her.
He also did get ptsd after first timeline and it get worst on the second timeline because FL keeps adding fire that leads to ML keep blaming himself. He is the most sensible character in the novel every time I got to read the fl's POV, I want to grab my hair and keep understanding where is she coming from, what kind of thinking she has, why she keep doing the opposite? (I mean WHY?) people giving her the right path but she always wanted to go left.
All three ladies have same common denominator and it's constant blaming ML (LOL) all their weakness they blame it on ML. Even the father of FL and Villain put the blame on his daughters, guess it runs in the blood (LOL)

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[/All]All in all this a great novel which has great resemblance from what is really happening in reality, that relationship are not all cuddles and romance and being a hero, this depicts what if couple doesn't have communication.
what happens if problems are all unresolved and just jumping to conclusions without knowing the other parties explanation before judging. The author did a good job in making all the ugliness and biases of the world into her novel, people really believed easily that who is at fault is the ML based on what the Narrator says, and judge the character and the story poorly. In our society it is always like that people easily believed women because they are fragile and they are women, whereas men are judge automatically with unreasonable doubt. If the characters have switch people will less care because it was the man and he deserved it without even some evidence that he really is evil. Honestly I feel bad for the ML, even his readers judge and blame him at the end he really did not totally cope up with his trauma. Which I think the author purposefully write it that way. He also deserved to be happy as like everyone else no matter what gender.

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