Guide To Raising the Sick Villain

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Qiao Lan transmigrated into a novel.

She became a cannon-fodder who was rescued by the heroine after being bullied but was jealous of the heroine because of her love for the hero and ultimately ended up miserable.

When she first entered the novel, Qiao Lan met a cannon fodder more pitiful than her. He was bullied, severely autistic, and had crippled legs.

Qiao Lan: …

Thinking of the male partner who had only been able to live for two years, Qiao Lan had a distressed conscience and began to take care of the gloomy boy.

2 years later, they had both become each other’s lift and the boy would stand up again and be able to hold her.

***

She had seen a passage when she was reading a book about Asperger’s Syndrome. The passage had explained that people with Asperger’s Syndrome generally suffered from “love disorder”. Some believe that a small percentage of people with Asperger’s Syndrome have an IQ far exceeding that of ordinary people, but their EQ is much lower than that of ordinary people. In terms of emotions, they are more like children with blank slates.

That’s why Qiao Lan was so sure that Tan Mo would never like her. He would rely on her, take care of her, and protect her, but he would not like her like a man likes a woman because Tan Mo did not understand this type of emotion.

Some say that some people with Asperger’s Syndrome will never understand what love is in their entire lives. Perhaps a number of people will understand, but in some cases, people on the higher scale of AS are too paranoid and sometimes overarchingly possessive. With this came a large amount of trouble that came from being too obsessed with one person. Few people could understand or handle such love, which leads to tragedy.

Associated Names
One entry per line
病弱反派饲养指南
Related Series
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Latest Release

Date Group Release
01/20/22 Tea Novel c127
01/20/22 Tea Novel c126
01/18/22 Tea Novel c125
01/17/22 Tea Novel c124
01/17/22 Tea Novel c123
01/07/22 Tea Novel c122
01/06/22 Tea Novel c121
01/05/22 Tea Novel c120
01/04/22 Tea Novel c119
01/03/22 Tea Novel c118
01/02/22 Tea Novel c117
01/01/22 Tea Novel c116
12/31/21 Tea Novel c115
12/30/21 Tea Novel c114
12/29/21 Tea Novel c113
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202 Reviews sorted by


silent hobby
silent hobby
October 1, 2020
Status: Completed
It was a good story with a lot of information about mental illness especially Asperger Syndrome.

The love story was cute and fluffy, there was mental struggles and insecurity in ML and the MC always guide him through all the obstacles.

Not all about how MC slowly guided ML to overcome his mental illness, the ML also become the hero who saved the beauty in distress.

It was about romance between MC with messy family and the ML with Asperger Syndrome in wheelchair, how they both helped each other, understand and work hard... more>> as a teamwork to have a better quality of life.

Spoiler

About in the middle of the novel, ML was trying hard to stand up again and he succeeded

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hpae
hpae
March 11, 2022
Status: c89
This is so frustrating!

The first 70 chapters were good, FL transmigrated into crappy patriarchal family, slowly working her way out of that mess with help if ML with Asperger Syndrome and physical handicaps. Then from chapter 71 on with new translator- it’s so bad that I am going to give up and agree with Pezwitch that I’m just going to assume they have a happy ending and leave it there. Such a disappointment!
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Drenlith
Drenlith rated it
February 3, 2022
Status: Completed
One of the more convincing c-novels on the topic autism. I'm so thankful author didn't sprinkle in OCD for fun of it; displaying none of the symptoms at all but is actually just a mild case of mysophobia but not really, as they treat the protagonist as a special case only type of BS.
You'll get to see the symptoms appear frequently, hinder his day to day life and social interaction. Let's say, author at least tried to google it.

ASD here, however, is slightly overly generalized to ML's case (not... more>> mentioning enough exceptions for example, or stereotyping ASD with high IQ which has not been verified in any way). The older he becomes the keener he is to social cues, it's explained as mimicking but understanding the meaning behind the motives makes him socially way more adept than your norm. ASD person.
Spoiler

The looks of bystanders are what ML can totally comprehend, like if it's condemning (towards him) or admiring (towards MC). There's also the case where one bish's poor attempt to hook up with him or Hao Ying's graduation drunk act seeking closure by fighting it out with ML through a drinking game.

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But compared to what you'll see or have seen before, beats those by miles.

MC is very mature, independent, and calm-minded. I could chew through some triggering topics (regarding her family: extremist levels of patriarchy and misogyny + domestic abuse) with a much smoother mindset thanks to her personality.

ML, in the title, is named a villain but it feels more like a clickbait since he wouldn't make moves unless you've completely got on his bad side. He'd endure most crap thrown his way too. He'd give you plentiful of warnings and chances before actually doing something 'evil'.
Spoiler

Man's got a lot of insecurities regarding his physical and mental illnesses. He was willing to receive physical therapy but haven't seen him attempting to get more help with his ASP. It's reasoned that he knows since it's incurable, he doesn't have the ambition to make it any better it seems but accepts MC's help nevertheless.

Kind of funny but also worrying how MC was doing an internet DIY PhD move thereby giving him indirect therapy.

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Minus one star for the stereotypical most handsome and pretty couple that are also the geniuses of geniuses who on top of are also (at least one of them) loaded af. Is it so hard to make them normal or not THE top of the top? I don't think I have to bring up the excess amount of these types of leads in romance fantasy media right...??

The factor that OG story and OG protagonist had little to no impact to the transmigrated version is kind of a bummer, it's just a -conventionally set up save the poor second ML-type novel (MC was heavily afflicted by the 2nd ML syndrome too).

Spoiler

Synopsis says ogFL saved ogHost but that's an exaggeration, it's just extending a hand to her to be in the friend circle while ogHost had to endure all sorts of mockery and fought to kiss up to them to remain in that friend group.
She didn't interfere much with the classmate's harassment and bullying towards others much either to be classified as the 'kind FL'. Overall appearances are extremely low, she gets more often mentioned than be physically present.
ogML's disgust towards ogHost and later towards MC is understandable as his friends are constantly unwarrantedly bringing her up to annoy and tease ogML. He's not that bad tbh, he's never done or said anything to annoy anybody. The dude just wants his peace of mind.

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Extras are pretty bland, a mixture of 60% passerby/reasonable folks and 40% cannon fodders/aggravators.
Though, the good writing of the interactions between all the characters covers that blandness.

Most inconsistent point has to be the school system. It seems strict and yet their official forum reads itself 24/7 like a gossip magazine. And later on, openly announces that the students shouldn't have love relationships but bullying and gossiping is totally fine...??? (Also dressing your underaged students in cheap provocative clothing for school festivals against their will???)

Side note: Be prepared to struggle to read past c70 like most have already mentioned. Translations from tea translation is copy n paste MTL, so there will be a ton of pronoun mistakes, contextual errors, wrong narrative (switching to 'I' instead of she/he), general literal translation mistakes and wrong currency usage (adding an extra 0 to the end makes a big difference if you know what money is). <<less
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genie610
genie610
November 21, 2021
Status: c127
Wow this is seriously a good novel, there are a lot of mmm interesting interpretations of asperger's but it's a novel not a medical text so whatever. But Qiao Lan is the best FL, reasonable, caring, up front. No bogus misunderstandings just fluff and sweetness :D even the villain characters (though incredibly s*upid) are fun (well watching them suffer is fun). This author did such an amazing job describing these two's sweet love life. I also especially like how much the ML, Tan Mo, loves and respects the FL. He's... more>> incredibly empathetic and caring and that's matched by the FL. Ughhh I love this so much will reread when more of the chapters are out, I couldn't help myself and ended up reading the mtl haha, but even going through that was worth it!!! <<less
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Chizuai
Chizuai rated it
March 30, 2021
Status: Completed
I CAN SAY THAT I REALLY LOVE THIS NOVEL 1000000/10 It's really A heart warming story also I love Psychological topics on this novel maybe the author is really smart to have all those ideas specially I really love how the FL is really matured and understanding with her words.. And I wish all the FL are like her. Anyway YOU CAN START Reading CHAPTER 60+ OR 80 If you hate slow romance.
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poeticharmony
poeticharmony rated it
March 18, 2021
Status: Completed
I couldn't put this novel down. Every scene just grips your heart and the loving dialogue between ML and FL is so touching at times. The author does such a great job of building up their relationship to such satisfying resolutions. It really shows the growth from puppy love to true love through the characters efforts of patience (more-so on the FL's side), honesty and communication.

... more>>
Spoiler

The use of side characters could have been expanded more. They were just forgotten overtime. I felt the pacing is really strong up till they start University. It becomes a little lack luster.

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I'd recommend reading this novel while listening to "A Little Happiness" by Hebe Tien. <<less
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kumikocloud
kumikocloud rated it
August 23, 2023
Status: c80
Did not finish. Read quite far in, considering it all.

Can I just say that spending time with someone, and then immediately rushing home and diagnosing what mental illness they have is hilarious out of context. She literally started googling top ten autistic symptoms and how to treat an autistic. Was not a fan of the disabilities used to make male lead more interesting and colorful. It was kind of excessive at one point, especially since in these type of novels the ML never STAY disabled. It’s just a plot point... more>> we will get past and just to show how much MC “really loves him” although it comes off as pity. He miraculously can walk, act normal. Aish, but I am not disabled, maybe I cannot speak on this.

I gave this a chance bcos everyone gave rave reviews but after reading this I was like hi, that can’t be right. This is modern AU, MC spends majority of her time being poor as shit, working or studying. And then occasionally saying hello to the ML. Girl, where is the escapism and fantasy. This is the reason why I prefer xianxia wuxia and fantasy princess nonsense. It rlly took me back in time to my schooldays and studying ptsd. Also since she is isekai, is it really a flex to be good at studying. I felt so bad for the school nerd competing with her.

The romance is pretty basic rich guy poor girl. He’s a cold CEO type that spends money like water and she just goes oh no not money I can’t take money. And it comes off as platonic friends for some reason? Like I could see them being old people living in the same neighborhood and feeding cats and saying hello to each other sometimes. Not the kind of romance that tickles me. The yandere part is....... yall it only barely counts as yandere. All in all, not for me. <<less
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Addictedtoreading
Addictedtoreading rated it
September 9, 2022
Status: Completed
This was a pleasant novel to read. I wouldn't add it to my favorite novels, but it was nice. Translation was good.

Most of the novel takes place at school.

MC is transported in a novel and wakes up in class with original MC and ML of the book and also ML of this novel. She liked the ML in the novel and threw the book away when he committed su*cide in the original book.

ML has asperger syndrome and sits in a wheelchair after a car accident which killed his mother. He is very antisocial in the beginning of the book because he has been treated badly by almost everyone.

The novel shows in a very nice way how MC keeps approaching ML and he finally starts to react and open up to her. It's nice to see how they get closer to eachother and they overcome their insecurities, especially ML.

We see a lot of ML's thoughts and his reaction to things. I think this is done in a very respectful way.

We also see how people perceive things differently depending on the fact that a person has a handicap.

Spoiler

When ML gets back to school after he has had surgery on his legs and he can walk again everyone suddenly starts to suddenly speculate whether MC and ML are dating, while they behave the same as before.

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MC's parents are very patriarchal. They don't really care about their daughters. MC is malnourished at the beginning of the novel. When MC transmigrates she takes the food she needs in the house. Though grandmother disagrees, parents don't really have a problem with that. So you get the idea that OG could have had enough to eat if she had insisted, but she probably was so beaten down especially by grandmother she didn't dare. At first I thought her family might not be all too bad, butI had to change my mind about that a little later.

It's nice for a change that the white lotus of the original book is really a white lotus, though she doesn't get much attention.

I have made an extensive summary of the novel.

Spoiler

Qiao Lan is reborn in the world of a book.

In this book the OG was in love with a classmate who didn't like her. He was in love wirh a white lotus classmate. MC liked another character in the book, namely Tan Mo (ML). Later on OG would act against the white lotus but had a bad ending. ML is a boy with asperger syndrome who is sitting in a wheelchair. His legs got wounded in a car accident which killed his mother. Hismfather is well off and he is daily driven to school in an expensive car. A few years later he would kill himself.

MC decides to change her life. She wont pay attention to the classmate anymore and buy them drinks and candy to suck up to them.

She didn't have a family in her previous life, so she is looking forward to getting to know her new family. They are not really described in the book. However that turns out to be a disappointment. MC has 2 elder sisters and 1 younger brother and is living with her grandmother, parents and brother. They are very patriarchal. The son is spoiled rotten and the daughters are only there to get benefits when they get married. MC is very skinny and looks unhealthy because she doesn't get enough to eat, while her brother is fat. The eldest daughter became the mistress of her wealthy boss and managed to marry him when she got pregnant. She is very proud of this. The second daughter is nice and happily married to a grocer and has a son. The parents only agreed to the marriage because he good get them a big discount on fruit and vegetables.
MC gets a job to earn money and earn enough to move out.

At school she does her best to learn and get good grades (OG had bad grades). She greets ML daily, but he doesn't react. He has been treated badly by almost everyone in his life and doesn't trust anyone because he can't just if someone is sincere.
Most of her classmates decide to ignore her after she stops treating them.

Slowly ML starts to react to her and they become friends.

ML starts to dine at the place MC works and tip her well to help her financially.

At exams MC gets good grades and is first in her grade. Most of her classmates think she decided to learn to impress the classmate she's been in love with.

During exams ML is called out to go to the US because his grandfather has died. His grandmother also became ill because of that. He is not really affected by this because they never treated him well. He asks his caretaker to give MC his phone number so she can call him. When they ask a school teacher to give the number to MC, the teacher gives the number to the mother who doesn't tell her daughter. A few days later ML's father dines at the place she works and she gets the number from him and calls him. ML had been waiting anxiously for her call.

A week or so later ML returns home.

One night when she returns home from her job her parents accuse her of stealing their money. Her father wants to beat her up so she runs out of the house. ML had her followed to keep her safe because there was an incident near her work place, so he finds out about it. He picks her up and brings her to his home. MC applies to live in dorms at her school.

A little later the parents find out that their son stole the money. They forgive him easily which makes him feel even more privileged. They do not care about their daughter who never contacts them again.

About half a year later the eldest sister tells her parents she has someone who is interested in MC, so they want to introduce her and marry her off. MC refuses to go with them and later the suitor. ML asks for his father's help and lets the suitor's place checked out. The place is forced to close because they do not follow regulations. Eldest sister and her husband are affected as well because they started a place together.

At the following exams MC keeps getting good grades. ML who could easily get first place decides to drop a few places so MC can get more money from school for her studies.

At second grade a classmate and roommate of MC is jealous of MC. She is rather interested in ML. She tells ML he can never get together with her because he is sitting in a wheelchair. ML who is already rather insecure starts to feel even worse.
He decides to see if his legs can be healed. He has refused to let anyone check out his legs before. The doctor tells him there is almost no chance to heal because he has waited too long. He decides to go to the US to get an operation and treatment anyway. The operation and treatment are very painful but succesful and after about half a year ML returns to school able to walk.

MC cries when she sees him walking. Now everyone suddenly starts seeing them as a pair, while nobody thought that when he was sitting in a wheelchair. They both don't dare to confess their feelings for each other though.

At school MC's brother falls during a basketball game and loses a kidney. The parents want him to have both kidneys and asks for the costs of doing that. The total cost are about 1 mln, which is way above their means. The mother asks for money from the daughters and eldest refuses to give anything. Since the restaurant closed her husband doesn't treat her well. The second sister gives them what she can but only gets insulted because she gives so little (in their opinion). The mother goes to school and demands money from MC and demands her to give one of her kidneys to her brother, so he can have 2 kidneys. MC refuses to give money and go with her. Mother decides to continue and keeps harrassing her at school dailey. MC is affected and quite tired because of this.

ML visits MC's parents and offers to pay for a 2nd kidney for brother on condition they give up their rights on MC and never contact her again. They agree. He tells them that if they approach their daughter again he will have their new son's liver removed again. He has her birthdate changed so she is legally of age and puts a house in her name to get everything legally in order.
After everything is arranged, ML arranges for the parents restaurant to be forced to close down as well.

After the son is out of the hospital he finds out his mother has been harrassing his friends and the girl he likes because of his accident, which was completely his own fault. He gets angry and steals their money and leaves the house without the medicine he needs. He has gotten used to stealing money from his parents and decides to steal money from friends he meets in the new town he lives in. When they find out they punch him, which causes his new liver to collapse and he ends up in hospital. He loses the new liver. Parents go to the police and accuse ML of arranging this, but evidence shows he has nothing to do with it.

When the parents want to approach MC again, ML makes sure they don't get to see her.

MC tells ML she wants to study finance because she is interested in stocktrading. ML decides to start trading in stocks and finds out hemis very good at it. He also invests part of the money MC saved in stocks.

MC and ML continue school and graduate with very good grades. ML is best of the country and MC third of her province.
MC decides to go to university and study psychology, ML will study mathemathics at the same university.

Both first decide to live in dorms. MC thinks it will be good for ML to live with others for a while.

MC joins a psychology club. The clubleader has a thing for MC and finds out ML has asperger syndrome. His father had that too and his mother committed su*cide because of their bad marriage. He is convinced MC can not be happy together and tries to separate them. MC tells him off and leaves the club.

However ML starts to hide his feelings for ML. He has been given a book by a psychiatrist on recognizing emotions and behavior and has begun to mimick others. When MC finds out she explains to him she wants him to show his real feelings. They decide to rent a house (there was also a lot of arguing in MC's dormroom, though no bad relations).

When MC and ML graduate they get married.

After about 5 years they have a daughter.

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puregarnet
puregarnet rated it
August 18, 2022
Status: Completed
4 Stars

Writing/Translation

The Green Tea translation for like 71 chapters had very good translations. It's easy to read and understand. Then, for the other chapters until the end, all the online translations I could find were just bad. It was still not the worst as I could generally get it more or less but it was still bad. My trick is to just rush through reading, you somehow get used to the badness kind of. The pronouns, 1st pov, 3rd pov, and names, to a lesser extent, get mixed up constantly,... more>> so most of the time you just guess who exactly it's talking about.

Plot

The overall plot structure takes place 70% in high school and 30% in university with the extras after graduation and marriage. It goes from the ML being super ferocious and on guard against the MC at the beginning, falling in love with the MC's daily kindness to him, working hard to be worthy of the MC, realising she likes him only when he is his real self, married and has a kid.

Themes/What Story Tried to Achieve

This story deals with heavy topics. The author tried their best to show how having a mental illness can affect someone and how they deal with it. I love how the ML was shown to experience autism here compared to a previous CN novel, this felt more authentic and not just there as a plot device for the MC to care for the ML. Since you are in the ML's head a lot, you can really feel the difficulties he has living his life. Also, the language being used around it doesn't treat it as an illness to be cured from. The MC's objective is to make sure the ML is happy and not misunderstood by other people, which is why she teaches him about facial expressions and emotions. She treats it like he just needs to learn another language more or less. I very much like this. Even after everything, we still know the autism didn't go away, it's still there and has to be handled by lots of communication and not hiding.

The romance is nice and slow. It really establishes the foundation and setup before they finally admit to having feelings for each other. It was nice, really made me believe in their feelings and satisfying because it wasn't insta-love. I still skimmed all the s*x scenes though lol. I just find light novel s*x to be too cringy and that men, of course, are beasts in bed and women are always tired the whole day afterwards *rolls eyes*. But still, I must say it wasn't that over the top this time haha

Pacing

The pacing, I felt, was just right. It didn't feel particularly rushed or slow. Or if it was, it didn't bother me.

Characters

Really, only the two main characters are fleshed out in any manner. The side characters are pretty brief or only superficially there. The main couple is pretty likeable. I liked the ML more haha. The friends made well, you don't really feel that close to them because there aren't any bonding scenes to feel that they are friends. But well, they are there. I like the 2 caretakers of the ML the best out of all of them. They just love the ML like a son haha. The villains, ugh, I don't like them. Especially how they targeted the ML's insecurities. Surprisingly, this is like the only CN novel I've read where the ML is targeted in this way instead of the MC. The MC's enemies are the family, who are ridiculously self-entitled. But they all get a satisfying comeuppance haha

Overall Comments

I liked the mental health exploration in this. The romance is a slow burn to get together even though there are alrd feelings early on which is nice. Sure, there are some loose ends and plot holes and stuff because it's not perfect, but I enjoyed it for what it does.

My Created Lists (I include my rating and review in the list itself XD)

  • All Novels I've Read Sorted By Rating - Where I ranked every single novel I read on novelupdates.
  • Heartwarming or Feel Good or Wholesome Stories I Liked - As stated haha
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Mikodami
Mikodami rated it
May 11, 2022
Status: Completed
I don't know much about Asperger's, so I can't say if it's realistic. I have a hunch that it might be slightly too idealistic and optimistic.

But if you take into account that it's about a non realistic world, being a transmigration into a novel story, and accept that it might describe a slightly different reality than ours, then you will end up with a beautiful coming of age story of unconditional, pure and endless love which is able to overcome all obstacles. Of course the utilization of one of the... more>> most common tropes of cnovels, 'The God And Goddess Couple' helps a lot. But since they aren't godlike in the beginning and have both to overcome said obstacles first, it's pretty much acceptable. It's only starting in college where their godlike status becomes slightly irritating and degrades the value of the story.

Unfortunately, the story was apparently dropped by the first translator and so after around chapter 70 is really not fun to read anymore. Of course I'm glad someone made the effort to put the apparent machine translation together. Pity, this person either wasn't proficient in English or didn't read the produced output even once. It's so bad, some parts are utterly incomprehensible or just plain painful to read.

Still, if you like beautiful love stories, you will like this one. <<less
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umichan
umichan
February 1, 2022
Status: Completed
I like it so far, it's a sweet story which feels as if a lot has transpired even though there are only so many chapters out right now; what I'm trying to say is that it is well paced, it doesn't feel rushed nor forced.

The story telling is actually quite nice and the main characters are cute especially the FL she is very likeable I find.

If I would have any complaints it would be how they describe the ML autism. It's a very stereotypical take as well as being quite... more>> inaccurate around certain things i.e All people with autism or specifically asperger's are people who cannot share empathy with others, are geniuses, hate being touched, can't make any facial expressions (express?) etc etc.. Which does irk me, however I let it go as everyone on the spectrum is different so even if the information presented isn't accurate the way the ML interacts with other people very well could be... maybe.

However about the ML asperger's there are some scenes/ moments the author writes which I think are very 'realistic.' For example the ML having anxiety over sudden changes, his sensory sensitivities, and his understanding/ logic. Tbh I'm surprised he hasn't had a meltdown yet though, he copes very well- I guess he lets off steam at home.

I would rate it a 3.5 for now. I am being honest when I say I am enjoying it! although it does have some very distinct CN tropes in it which is kinda... meh? Its the 'cold and aloof but strong and talented ML that's warm and fuzzy only to FL' trope that's really standing out, but that's CN for you! Always obsessed with those characteristics in ML's... even in FL's haha.

EDIT:

One of the better c-novels concerning Asperger Syndrome I've read here. I like many others, really enjoyed this story (even though later translation quality was a headache to read). It's definitely a slow burn romance, but definitely worth it. Every moment feels sweet and loving.

The FL is one of the best, she is thoughtful, understanding and never crosses the ML's personal boundaries. Only wanting the best for the ML, constantly supporting him, helping him adapt and socially interact with the world around him without pushing/ forcing ML to be "normal" or do things he doesn't feel comfortable doing. She never once degrades him for either his physical or mental differences, just wholeheartedly accepting him for him and subsequently falling in love.

There is a lot of relationship growth and you can see how much they rely and depend on one another. It's definitely a Main character focused story with all the side-characters being smacked in the face with rose petals raising their hands to say "we're here" whilst FL + ML live in their own rosy lovey bubble. The side-characters don't actually need to be as fleshed out as the story is basically a 'Love Diary' about FL and ML, a true slice of life with sprinkles of minor conflict.

The novel handles the topic of Asperger's rather well, seeing it as an extension of a person, like a birthmark, rather than some sort of disease.

The Novel is really wonderful and you can't help but root for the main characters, it's a sweet but slow read and my only gripe with it is the rather inaccurate/ misconceptualized information of Asperger's provided throughout the story. However I do forgive it as FL says she read it from a book/ internet and I like to think she just read from dubious sites/ authors. As well as the fact that Asperger's (and Autism in general for that matter) presents differently for everyone diagnosed with it, so I like to think some of the remarks FL makes about Asperger's are in reference to ML specifically (Like ML's degree to sensitivity to touch etc). Also the fact it's a webnovel and it's not a medical journal gives it a bit more of a free pass. Still, here are two examples of inaccurate information I would like to rectify:

    1. Asperger's Syndrome can develop into Schizophrenia.
No, it won't. They are considered seperate conditions. So it won't 'develop' into anything like some Pokemon.

2. Unfeeling, unable to empathise, unable to feel emotion.

Incorrect to the nth degree, like all people those with Asperger's experience a plethora of emotions. There is no

need to "teach" them like an A.I.

The main reason for this misconception is the 2 basic definitions of Empathy:

    • The ability to identify and understand other people's emotions (Cognitive Empathy AKA Perspective taking)
    • The ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling and caring about it. Sensations and feelings in response to others' emotions; this can include mirroring what that person is feeling, or just feeling stressed when we detect another's fear or anxiety. (Affective Empathy/ Emotional Empathy)
People with Asperger's usually have trouble with cognitive empathy, basically reading emotions or reading a room etc. As well as giving an appropriate emotional response to another persons thoughts and feelings. The desire to respond may be there, the wish to help, to reach out and comfort may be there, however understanding how to may not. In short, how to socially deal with feelings. Coupled also with the fact that some people with Asperger profiles may not show their feelings in the same way, or to the same extent, as those without. They may manifest feelings less outwardly, or their facial expression might not match what the individual is feeling inside. Kinda like a resting bit*h face, in a way. The resulting effect is that people believe them to be unfeeling etc.

Swiss researchers Henry and Kamila Markram argue that, those with Asperger's feel too much. As the fundamental problem in Asperger's is a hypersensitivity to experience. Everything is overwhelming. Lights, sounds, smells, tastes, and emotional experiences are intensified. Therefore "feeling too much."

All in all some people feel deep empathy, but do not outwardly communicate these sentiments through facial expressions or language. Some people come to empathy through intellectual processes, using logic and reasoning to arrive at the feelings. It is also important to keep in mind that many people with Asperger profiles have been bullied or excluded by peers in the past and might therefore be guarded around people (much like our ML), which could appear as lack of empathy. People with Asperger profiles can be and are extremely caring individuals; in fact, it is particularly common for those with the profile to feel and exhibit deep concern for human welfare, animal rights, environmental protection, and other global and humanitarian causes.

I would also like to add that not all people with Asperger's/ Autism have "Super powers" or above average intellect which the Novel mentions a lot.

Sorry for my rambling, I got carried away there... I just kept seeing reviews praising the information or having never encountered the diagnoses before...

Anyways! Great read totally worth it! <<less
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Youkonos
Youkonos rated it
January 24, 2022
Status: c117
Edit: After thinking about it, I decided to drop the rating down to a 3. Literally, the last 10 chapters are such a pain to get through I've pretty much stopped reading the novel and have no intention to continue. This is the first time I've ever dropped a novel so late, but I don't feel like I'm missing anything worth while. Maybe I'll read the very last chapter at some point, but I think I'm done.

Original review:

This is a very cute novel. Honestly, even when the information... more>> on high functioning autism is kind of hit or miss, I can accept the ML for who he is and his particular quirks, but with the added realism, I can't help but cringe at the relationship on display, particularly in the last 20 some chapters.

Another reviewer called it co-dependance in a good way, but all I can see is the toxicity. Yes, it's important to acknowledge negative feelings. Bottling up possessiveness, jealousy, and other similar feelings results in resentment. I admire that the novel approaches these issues in a relatively healthy way with the leads actively communicating their feelings to each other, but I cannot condone how its dealt with after they've actually talked it out.

Yes, I understand that the ML's neurodivergance makes it hard for him to control his instinct to monopolize under the context of this story, but they are *literally entering a codependent relationship where they are each other's sole reason for existence.* Sure you can romanticize it as much as you want since this is fiction, but I seriously can't see a relationship where MC tells ML that he can completely isolate her from the world and that she would be happy living like that as anything but damaging. All relationships need space. To be able to actually love someone in a healthy manner means loving and respecting yourself. Both leads have self-esteem issues and the MC in particular seems to treat herself as someone without needs or feelings beyond wanting to make the ML happy and keeping some semblance of pride in regards to not accepting charity. The ML constantly questions whether or not he's good enough to have MC which is understandable considering his background. For all the MC does to show the world ML's good points, she doesn't really teach him to love himself outside of just reaffirming that yes, she cares about him and finds him worthy of love. Instead of tackling the root of his insecurity and encouraging him to develope some emotional independence, she carries the entire load of his mental wellbeing on her shoulders. The reality is, sometimes life kicks you in the shins and things don't work out no matter how great they may have been. Co-dependance like this is a disaster waiting to happen if God forbid, an accident happens.

As much as I like this novel, I really can't 100% recommend it due to the romanticiziation of co-defendant relationships and the damage they do to people in real life.

Troubling themes aside, the first translation is alright, but pronouns are often confused. The second translation completely tosses the correct pronouns out the window and looks like it's barely cleaned up MTL. <<less
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Eru101
Eru101 rated it
August 20, 2021
Status: Completed
I was upset on how Qiao Lan handled the high profiled confession of Hao Ying. I could say she handled it 60% right.

It was actually unreasonable for Qiao Lan not to give Hao Ying a chance to be friends with her (QL). But then as I read further, it was portrayed that Qiao Lan completely devoted her life to Tan Mo. Like how she's willing to sacrifice her social life to Tan Mo.

If you look at it again, it doesn't sound right at all. It was very excessive. Shouldn't the... more>> story be like, learning to love oneself before loving someone else so much to reach a happily ever after?

But Tan Mo's situation didn't allow this. He needs great devotion from others especially that his illness is incurable. And as an orphan who hasn't relied to anyone but Tan Mo, Qiao Lan is willing to compromise anything for him.

Incurable mental illness is tricky. If a normal person offended a mentally ill person, it will feel like game over, no?

In the novel, Qiao Lan offended Tan Mo many times. But because of her persistence and great potential in psychology, she handled Tan Mo well.

So even though it gives a seemingly unrefutable opinion that Qiao Lan compromised anything just for Tan Mo, for her Tan Mo did so much for her as well.

A happy ending, indeed.

Anyways, I'd like to quote this. Something that made me pause.

Spoiler

"Sometimes even when no one believes you, it doesn't mean you are wrong, but that they are blind."

[collapse]

Happy 5 star rating! <<less
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EUGEO SYNTHESIS
EUGEO SYNTHESIS rated it
May 7, 2021
Status: --
To be honest, it's been a long time since I read a unique story like this. And it's really unlucky for me not to see that this story doesn't have an end yet.

For me so far I feel very satisfied reading this story, although I do not know whether the author's description of a person with a disability is correct.

But I think so far there are no points in this story that are too off the mark, this is because the plot the author written is not too complicated, even... more>> though it has a heavy content.

So yeah, this novel is really good to read... and I almost forgot to say it but FL family in this story is a true depiction of a family with an old stroetype who still exists in the modern world.

FL family is such a bastard.

[EDIT]

Recently I finished the whole story.

I didn't read it in MTL, I read it in RAW / Chinese Version because I think that even though both are difficult, MTL hurts my eyes more and it's much more difficult to read than the Raw / Chinese version.

Back to topic, the truth is the story started to be a little less fun to read after they entered the lecture, I don't know if it was because of the hasty plot or bad execution of the author. But I think personally it is due to the plot which was made hastily.

Spoiler

There is too many things that not be explained, Like Chen Yaoyang & Song Yao things (I know they are not a FL and ML anymore after Qiao Lan transmigrated but at last they can explain about what happened to Chen Yaoyang because we already know he fell in love with Qiao Lan too, same like Hao Ying)

The other is about Bai Yu who is a good friend of Qiao Lan, we not even see her in Qio Lan weeding and we not event have something like special chapter for her.

There is also a problem about Tan Mo family issues which is not mentioned at all, the author only hinted it over and over but not event giving clear explanation or solution.

[collapse]

Those I have listed are just a few of them, because there is still many other small things that lack explanation. Which is this the reason why I said that the author was too hasty to finish it.

But even so there are also some very surprising things about this story like Tan mo roommate's love story between Ko Sha and Xie Hongyi.
Spoiler

To Bad that they weren't together in the end.

Ko Sha is too timid. Even though he dared to declare his status (Gay) to his family which resulted in him being kicked out of his house, but he still too afraid to express his feelings to the person he liked,

Meanwhile in Xia Hongyi position was a straight man who doesn't even know the meaning of love and he was still childish.

So when Ko Sha finally chose to stay away, there was told that Xie Hongshi felt that he seemed to have lost something important before he knew what is it.

So basically this love story can be said to fail not because they don't like each other, but because one is too cowardly while the other is too s*upid.

[collapse]

Note : Im giving 5 star before, but now im sorry that I only can give 3 star. <<less
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nxtlvl
nxtlvl
March 15, 2021
Status: ---
Honestly a very cute story that is very open-minded by traditional eastern standards and educates readers on the importance of accepting those who are born differently.

Unfortunately, it's also very ableist in regards to the ML's physical disability. It's as if the text is implying that ML's life won't get better unless he overcomes his disability.

I think the author's intent is more so to state that ML needs to conquer his inner demons and that learning to walk again happens to be part of that process, but her writing lacks the... more>> necessary nuance so the message doesn't really deliver that way. Nonetheless, props to the author for trying to tackle a difficult subject. <<less
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hastingsj
hastingsj rated it
February 7, 2021
Status: Completed
My feeling on this novel are LoveHate.

On one hand the writing is good. the characters are good. and It trys to tackle a difficult topic (mental illness & physical disability)

On the other hand it is HORRIFICALLY ABLEIST.
The story is constantly tetering on the idea that physically or mentally disabled people DONT DESERVE normal lives and families (in a way that makes you question the authors opinion. Is this the lie the character must overcome... or the moral). Its set up like a story meant to overcome adversity, but... more>> CONSTANTLY shows overcoming as being "cured" from adversity... being in a wheelchair is ruining your life? just stand up with the power of love.

as if a person in a wheelchair does not deserve to be treated as a human being, date, or have kids... but if they stand up suddenly they have a right to a future..... what...? what kind of horrible nightmare country is this??? I dont know if this says something awful about the author or ASIAN COUNTRIES as a whole. It might just be bc im from the west where handicap ramps and doors are mandatory on all public buldings... BUT FK THIS ENTIRE CONCEPT. People get hurt. people loose their eyesight. some people cant hear... but if this novel is to be belived this makes them inhuman and incapable of being in society... what kind of fked up society is this??? The worst part is that the characters feelings about physical disability are never resolved. the diasability just goes away... which makes it seem like the author wants us to think the gross idea that disabled people are "aliens" ("dragons with dragons, shrimp with shrimp") is true....????...???

The next problem to tackle is mental disability. The male lead is assigned Aspergers (a smaller form of autism, sometimes known as a chamelion disorder bc it is easier to learn how to interact socially from TV and books & fake being socially-able. It comes with social anxiety, dread of eye contact, meltdowns, being akward in conversation, focusing on hobies over people... [Autism in general is consitered to be most similar to how cats see the world. its not a lack of feeling, its being overwhelmed by new stimuli]). For the sake of increasing drama, the author seems to sometimes confuse Aspergers with Schizophrenia (delusions, antisocial behavior, being unable to express or feel a normal range of emotions,... [your cold calculating sherlock holmes arcetype]). At the very least though, there seems to be a message of learning to accept a "new normal" rather than focusing on a harmful "societal normal" (but only for people with invisible disabilities..?)
The end is cute. Happy ending all around and some good positive messages in the extra chapters

So maybe its a win??
If we lost most of the battles can we call this novel a victory for the disabled community?
Are the problems in this story a tragic picture of the country its set in (one that has yet to understand disability and mental illness on a large scale) ? or are they the result of escalating drama against an easy target?

Part of me likes...
Part of me hates it...
I feel like it could have represented this issue better and that the only reason I was able to fully read it without chucking it in the tr*sh, was that I am a fully able-bodied person who could read objectively, without taking some of the chapters as personal insults. That being said, it does have a happy ending if you get that far. <<less
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Hawk73
Hawk73 rated it
December 29, 2020
Status: c15
Enjoying it, it is very vindicating for the protagonist. People act pretty realisitically, which is mostly self-centred.

Her family sucks, but thats plausible. She is their 3rd daughter when they wanted a son, so they completely neglect her. Her original character reflects that desire to be loved and receive attention.

I love how she doesn't give a damn about anything. She realises every relationship she has is toxic, so she just lets them drop. Sometimes I reckon I know what I should do but don't do it due to laziness, , fear... more>> of judgement, fear of failure, etc, so its cool to see someone not give a F.

Her life is objectively terrible, but she makes the most of it. <<less
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chickens
chickens rated it
November 6, 2020
Status: Completed
Honestly soooo good! I mtled it and it was 10/10 and fell in love with this novel. If I had read the translated version, I would’ve DIED from the cuteness ❤️
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chibiheaven
chibiheaven rated it
October 27, 2020
Status: Completed
While I can't speak for the accuracy of the information on autism exposed within the novel, I did feel this novel really hit me very personally; It left me to ponder upon different ways of understanding depression and how might I be more than just a listener to friends who have opened up to me.

This novel really let me feel the character growth that was so very bittersweet. It was the gradual back and forth between Tan Mo slowly learning to express his feelings and obsessive love for Qian Lan,... more>> and Qian Lan's ever persistent efforts to teach and show her equally obsessive and steadfast love for Tan Mo. This is the kind of character development I wish you could find more of in other novels!

The ending was so heartrenchingly satisfying;

Spoiler

Being able to witness the last 'misgivings' (for lack of better word) Tan Mo was able to place down and really truly be able to be together with Qian Lan and be unwavering in his love 'til death do us part'.

[collapse]

I really have to thank the translator for their hard work and review, which was what really pushed me to give this novel a chance; I had not been particularly keen on a novel that seemed to be very blatantly 'dark'. I am glad these misgivings did not prevail and allowed me the pleasure of reading this short story.

This is an absolute 5/5 for me. <<less
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sarabodd
sarabodd rated it
October 23, 2020
Status: --
This was a cute story. I will say there was a period about 3/4 though were it just got boring for a while, at least in my opinion, but it did pick back up. I will say I'm unsure about how accurate the story is about the form of autism it portrays, I didn't really look into it too much though. I will say that in china mental illness and certain disabilities tend to be stigmatized a great deal so I think that this story had a very good message.... more>> Over all I would recommend it. <<less
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