Caution: Potentially inaccurate and rushed review!

When I saw it is still ongoing, I hesitated to give this one a try. The thing about ongoing novels, for me, is that you can't know in advance if it has a happy or tragic ending. I prefer seeing the end first and preparing my heart for heartbreak if it was the latter. I read the summary, thought it might be similar to the fluffy novels I tend to read, and decided to just jump into the story without reading the reviews.

Two people at the lowest point of their lives, one humbled by the circumstances and the other abandoned by everyone around him, reunite after a short yet memorable first meeting years ago. Like a drowning man to a branch of wood, their souls grab on and seek solace in each other's warm embrace.

There are still a lot of good things but these are the ones I immediately thought of--

• • Not sure if the MTL gave it justice but I found the author's writing style has a thoughtful, pondering quality. It focuses a lot on the character's psyche and mental state. (I like the quality of the 10 chapters of translation available at the time of writing this review, keep up the good work translator-san!)

• • I like the ML. He's older than the MC so he has a lot more to consider and think about before making a decision. I liked him even better because we both have the same philosophy/way of loving: love is restraint. ML prioritized giving the MC a sense of peace and security over his own feelings. (Although that is also a double-edged sword that caused the push-and-pull before they got together later on.) Actually, if they got together when they first met, the likelihood of him being the gong is really high. I felt that, because he likes the MC first and thought he wasn't bent, he gave the initiative to him and became the shou. Since, you know, most 'straight' characters in Danmei find it easier to bend when they assume (or think they will have (> w < =) the role of being a gong. And I was right. I like how he and MC care more about being with each other than being preoccupied with who holds who.

• • I relate with the MC, especially at the start of the story. He stopped caring about what he might suffer when he got tricked into working at Jinsetai, even if he might be tortured to death at the hands of people who throw stones at someone already down. When you lose hope and feel dead inside, you numb yourself with apathy because nothing scares you anymore. You get a little hint here and there about the precarious state of his psyche at the start, then it will be explored later on. I knew in my gut that there was a reason why he faints at the sight of needles (trypophobic people should take caution reading about the story behind his trauma).

• • I like how they encouraged and never gave up on each other even when they gave up on themselves. ML told MC something along the lines of, 'I love you and I hope you don't stop loving yourself.'

• • MC didn't stop massaging and administering treatments for ML's legs, he learned how to do it himself when he noticed that the latter was averse to other people. MC wasn't good at serving ML at first, but he didn't give up on trying and got better later on.

• • ML didn't force MC on what he should do because he also noticed his rebellious streak and dislike of being dictated to do what he should do. He patiently supported MC after giving him the space to do whatever he wanted and secretly helped him when he could.

• • You'll find how much they love each other in the little things they do, and it melts my heart. Their dynamic reminds me a lot of the Korean novel Stranger (where a lawyer picks up a stray youth).

• • I find the author's choice of TCM and acupuncture unique. I don't come across it when I read novels going this type of route unless it's a genius doctor who transmigrated into ancient times or something.

• • I like how the treatment for ML's legs took time. I read a lot of feel-good novels starring main characters who have disabilities that were later rehabilitated, and they go through the rehabilitation phase vaguely and relatively quickly so reading about a more detailed process is nice.

I still haven't finished reading this in its entirety but I wanted to write a review about it even if I have yet to finish digesting and forming coherent thoughts about the novel as a whole. I don't know if the part about the MC's disorder was accurate and I don't actually want to know more about it because it reminds me of my childhood abuser who was diagnosed with that same disorder. I don't want to talk about the novel's weaknesses or shortcomings because there will always be a reviewer who'll address it so I'll leave it to them.