Yet, he had the strange feeling again that he was lost in space and time. It was as though he had been blindfolded as he wandered along the path, touching each blade of grass and each tree trunk until his destination, but when he turned around to look back at the way he had come, what he saw was not what he had pictured in his mind’s eye.
It was summertime in the dream. He was sitting with Ch’in Ching on the couch in the lounge; it seemed to be the scene of their first farewell.
However, what he said were the words he could not say the second time around...
“Ch’in Ching, I love you. Don’t leave.”
“But Shen Liangsheng, ” the Ch’in Ching in his dream retorted as though surprised, wearing a peculiar expression. “Why would I want that?”
He didn’t know how to answer and, indeed, felt there was nothing more to be said.Oh, so that’s not what he wanted.
But if his heart was not what the man wanted, then he really had nothing else to give.
“You say I should go...”
Shen Liangsheng was on his knees like Ch’in Ching and was at a loss. Then after what seemed like minutes, he asked in a puzzled tone as though he really did not know the answer,
“But with you here... where else do you expect me to be?”
"After you die, I will live on.
Every bit of pain you suffer now was given unto you by me.
And I have witnessed it with my very eyes and memorized every bit of it.
From this day on, I shall remember it every day and dream of it every night.
So that I may live in pain every single day for the rest of my life."
"Go." He passes me the reins and closes my palm. I look up at his bitter expression.
"You wanna live like the wind and I know you're not that obedient. You'd never just stay by my side like that. And I'm your enemy no matter how you look at it. We might've reached intimacy... and I could make you stay but your heart would be gone."
I squeeze the letter in my right hand as my heart begins to ache.
After years of overcoming hardships and obstacles and putting my life on the lines battle after battle, I have longed for someone to be there, for someone to understand me, for us to support each other with all our heart and share our feelings.
Yet the person I have chosen ended up leaving me.
My enemy's enemy is my friend.
I let out a deep breath and start feeling disgust towards myself.
Calculating and plotting every step of the way, abandoning my true self, becoming heartless, becoming coldblooded, tirelessly disposing of anyone who gets in my way.
And that includes the love of my life.
In the dark, gloomy palace hall, I tilt my head back and feel the warm fluids drip down my
I'm not a good emperor.
I can't save everyone.
It's as if I'm walking through a foggy night. From the skies above, an ocean of blood comes roaring towards me to drown me.
Where are you, Murong Yu? Why have you still not come yet?
I don't want anything. I just want you to come and take me away from this terrible nightmare.
I am so disappointed with the ending : ( ( ((
I know that it's probably the best realistic scenario, but I just can't help feeling betrayed, so unfair..
The author said it's a happy ending, but not for me.
If I stopped at 8/9 of the story, I would definitely give it a 5.
Highly recommend this though, very very compelling!! However you may want to consider whether to go until the end or not.