In my opinion, a smut-driven novel must be written with a higher standard than a plot-driven novel whether it be action or comedy. Whereas something like a tennis tournament novel may be excused for poor grammar and choice of words because you're on the edge of your seat wondering what will happen next, a smut story *must* be grammatically correct and flow smoothly in order to achieve ~ｍａｘｉｍｕｍ ｓｍｕｔｎｅｓｓ~, otherwise, the story is disrupted, and the reader is left having to redirect blood flow from elsewhere to the brain to understand what the passage is attempting to say. Put it another way; a hentai manga needs to have exceptional art direction even its plot is lackluster to succeed, whilst a heavily plot driven manga such as Hunter × Hunter or ONE's web manga, One Punch Man, do not suffer from popularity losses to such a degree even in the face of sub par art. Perhaps there are some who don't mind it, but the majority will be turned off by bad art and in a novel, bad writing.
Which in turn leads to the quality of writing in the release by Kuso. All I have to say is that its bearable. The style of writing with its short paragraphs remind me of amateurish web novels. There may be many who prefer that style and that's fine, but I would like to point out that it reads like a student dictated the story and wrote it down word for word. Not exactly very eloquent.
There are small mistakes made - triffle is not a word defined by any dictionary. Perhaps the translator meant trifling, as in "Yuika says its's something trifling...". In any case, these small mistakes disrupt the flow and overall polish of the story - a blemish on the page, or an eye drawn on the wrong layer. Not enough to completely take the enjoyment out but enough to be a annoying that's hovering on the edge of your sight. But once again, not too bad. And everyone makes mistakes after all.
Small grammatical mistakes can be excused, but choice of words can not - especially in a novel whose main purpose is to evoke lewd imagery. What kind of imagery does the word slurp evoke? To me, someone would slurp a bowl of noodles, they would slurp jelly. They would *not* slurp a tongue. Which is apparently what this main character does. Okay. Perhaps others would become hot and bothered, but I do not feel hot, only bothered by this imagery. But I will acknowledge that art is subjective, and what others may find pleasing, I might not.
You might be wondering why this is in spoiler tags. Like I stated before, I believe in lewd novels such as this, the role of a translator is much more important than the author of the original work. So much so to the point that my review will largely be a review of the quality of translation. But since this site is a site for novels and not translations, it would a disservice to focus solely on the translation.
The charm in Yuika's voice gradually increases.
The vulva rubbed by my finger became a bit wet.
The vulva became wet and soaked the pure white panties.
I take off the panties forcefully.
When I stroke the puffing up, beautiful vulva with my finger, a transparent liquid sticks to it.
Then, my tongue crawls into her vulva, as if to lick away that liquid.