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Twilight Reverie
Twilight Reverie rated it
After Transformation, Mine and Her Wild Fantasy
September 24, 2016
Status: c30
The premise for this series is fairly unique. That being said, it seems as if the author loses sight of the characteristics that define the premise almost immediately.

Rather than spend time exploring the unique situation that protagonist is in, and show him come to terms with being a single mind in control of two separate bodies, the author dismisses the entire situation; the protagonist is able to overcome any potential difficulties instantly do to a convenient natural ability to simultaneously split his awareness. Additionally the two bodies are almost immediately... more>> separated, after which point the author begins developing them as distinct individual characters. The only time the author seems to remember the two bodies are actually a single personality is when it is convenient for the plot's progression.

The plot itself is illogical and rather broken. The author altogether ignores simple solutions to various conflicts in order to drive the story in a specific direction, often leaving those conflicts unsolved and forgotten. The result is a work that is more frustrating to read that it is enjoyable. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
Twilight Reverie rated it
My Death Flags Show No Sign of Ending
December 13, 2016
Status: --
I can't get past the first major plot hole of this work: our protagonist immediately accepts his new situation as a game character and acts as that character would, rather than he would otherwise. If such an event were to occur normally, it would mean the protagonist has no personality of his own. No sense of morals to guide his own decisions.

The author claims that someone who could adapt to and deal with such a situation would be a freak (per the translator's choice of words). Yet that's exactly what... more>> the protagonist does; rather than react as he normally would, voicing his dissatisfaction with the situation he finds himself in, he chooses to continue as the character would. He feels resistance when he thinks about acting for himself, but rather than fight to express his thoughts he immediately concedes to whatever is constraining his actions. And then he decides to maintain the flow of events, when they clearly end to a bad end for himself and others, simply to maintain a supposed advantage that is illogical at best?

The plot is ill-conceived and the characters unbelievable. This work's foundation is faulty, at best, and one cannot create a good story with such disregard to the initial concepts. I respect an author attempting something new with what has become a fairly common premise, but such variation is no excuse for disregarding common sense. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
This work is disappointing on many different levels. The plot is almost nonexistent, and what is there is thrown into the readers' face out of nowhere. The objectives of the protagonist are not only simplistic and childish, but they are also counterproductive. Events do not unfold logically, but are instead staged by the author in an artificial manner to either needlessly benefit the protagonist or advance his harem; what type of slavers would summon an unknown individual that they expect will have a powerful and unique ability, and not enslave... more>> said individual immediately? Especially when the act of enslavement requires only a drop of blood and holds no repercussions for the slaver.

The most disappointing aspect of this story, however, it the protagonist himself: A genius individual who has mastered virtually every martial art and sport, yet somehow lacks the discipline gained while or needed to master them in the first place. Instead he possesses the personality of an extreme pervert, but doesn't feel comfortable touching his slave harem for fear of knocking them up. Additionally, after 80 chapters the protagonist shows absolutely no character development. He gains numerous skills and abilities, which in turn should benefit his martial arts as he practices a style that supposedly adapts to any situation. When he faces an opponents however, rather than utilize a method derived from a combination of his old and new abilities, the author instead adds new aspects to his old abilities with no warning.
Spoiler

Being barraged by stones? The protagonist has mastered tennis and is able to return those stones with his sword, killing the enemies who threw them. Told a monster is best fought at range? He's mastered baseball and throws a stone at the monster, killing it in one hit.

[collapse]
It's as if the author has created a protagonist that is far smarter than the author, and as a result the author is inadequate to develop the character's abilities.

In short this story is poorly conceived, featuring little plot with no foundation and a broken protagonist that is beyond the abilities of the author to develop properly. If one wants to read a story featuring skill theft, a supporting slave harem, and NPC elements, look elsewhere. This story is towards the bottom of that particular barrel, and much better examples exist. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
Twilight Reverie
The Inverted Dragon’s Scale
September 7, 2017
Status: c201
Roughly the first 150 chapters of this story are written extremely well, featuring excellent pacing and engaging characters and events. After this point, however, the plot progression begins to slow considerably; the narrative transitions to a typical martial arts academy/training situation. In turn the story is bogged down with wordy descriptions and action sequences that are intended to sound intelligent, even enlightened, but have little real meaning or impact on the narrative.

The greater issue is the inconsistencies in how the protagonist is portrayed. To a certain extent this can be... more>> explained logically by the influence of the dragon's soul mentioned in the story's summary, but even this influence should demonstrate a logical progression in how our protagonist's world view is changed. It doesn't. Instead the protagonist exhibits seemingly random mood swings at odd times that make no sense given the experiences he has had up to that point. This makes it difficult to understand the protagonist's personality and perspective, and nearly impossible for the reader to identify character traits to identify with. As a result the narrative often feels broken, force, even duct-tapped together, without any smooth transitions or logical progression. To an extent it feels as if the author defined the protagonist's initial state, at the start of the story, and his final state, which he should achieve at the story's conclusion, but has failed to understand or define the manner in which the protagonist transitions from one to the other. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
Twilight Reverie rated it
In Different World with Naruto System
September 27, 2016
Status: --
I can overlook the plot being the creation of a Naruto fanboy, so long as said plot is original and plays a prominent role on the story. This should be a given, but unfortunately that is not the case.

Rather than focusing on how the abilities the protagonist gains interact and are perceived in the world he finds himself in, the author instead spends far too much time describing the history of the various techniques which, even in this story, take place in a fictional world. This badly distorts the story's... more>> pacing and is entirely unneeded. Someone reading this story because they like Naruto will already know much of this information, and those readers who simply want to enjoy the story don't care.

The protagonist's goals also create a barrier that prevents the story from developing. Wanting vengeance against those who wrong him is fairly standard and easy to work with. Focusing on returning home, however, prevents the protagonist from making real, meaningful connections with other characters. Even when he recognizes someone as a friend, it always seems like a brittle, temporary friendship, as the protagonist intends to leave his current world entirely.

In summation, this is a story that fails to properly utilize an already-established cultivation system drawn directly from another work. It is written in a manner closer to an encyclopedia or wiki than an original tale. The character development is shallow and hindered by the protagonist's established goals. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
Twilight Reverie rated it
Wife, I Am the Baby’s Father
November 23, 2016
Status: c73
Though I have to agree with a prior reviewer's comment about this work reading like a Harelequin novel, this story isn't horrible. Some of the characters are a bit unbelievable, but the author does a good job of showing how human relationships progress over time. There are a handful of glaring plot holes, but otherwise the work progresses in a natural and organic manner.

Though others may claim otherwise, the story cannot truly be labeled as NTR, nor does it actually include adultery. It is simply a tragic romance; both the... more>> male and female leads are betrayed by those they should be able to rely upon, and even though their feelings never truly deviate the circumstances and the things they are led to believe pull these lovers apart. Plot elements such as jealousy, revenge, and amnesia are utilized in a way that would make the writers of any daytime drama proud.

I can feel the story winding down, and can say it will not have a truly happy ending. If the author does this work and its characters justice it will be bittersweet, with hurt feelings, broken trust, and, with a little luck, a sense that things may get better in the future. The chapters may be short, but this is hardly a light read and it is best to approach this work with some measure of caution. This is no Cinderella story, and there is no way everyone is going to get their happy ending. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
This story isn't bad, it's just extremely lackluster. There's nothing to grab the readers' attention; a solid framework has been created, but beyond that there's nothing that serves to flesh out the characters, the world, or the plot. It's almost as if the author created a thorough draft, but never got around to expanding upon it.

The characters are extremely limited in scope, almost two-dimensional. Even the protagonist lacks any amount of depth, and he is absent of character traits that can grow or be developed later in the work. We... more>> are given essentially nothing about his background or motivations; it is a simple narrative comprised of "this is the protagonist, this is where he is, this is what happens."

The author's narrative and delivery of the content is, for lack or a better term, monotonous. Not only do the characters lack any real sense of emotion or depth, but the manner in which the story is written feels flat, like an open soda that's been left in the summer heat too long. One has to wonder if the author feels any sense of investment in this work or its characters.

In short this should not be viewed as a complete work. This is still a rough draft, with the potential to be a good story in the future, but, unless the author realizes this and begins writing it properly, it will never achieve any of the potential it might possess. Don't waste your time, there's better stories out there. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
Not a bad short story. All the required elements are present, the characters have some level of depth, and there is a basic plot that is described throughout the narrative. That being said, I feel there are far too many elements for the length of the story.

Characters, situations, and plot developments are thrown in the reader's face one after another, leaving no time to digest the content. This results in the story feeling rushed, as if it's riding the drawn out peak of a conflict. Additionally, because the narrative begins... more>> with that peak it feels as if much of the story is missing. It would have been much better if the story began a tad bit slower, and if it had been two to three times longer. As it is, this work is mediocre at best. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
The writing is OK, but there are so many plot holes and inconsistencies that it leaves the reader frustrated. The author has created a world setting that seems to operate entirely without logic, for no other reason than to craft a narrative that is both outlandish and unbelievable. Explaining these things would constitute spoilers, however, and as I have no desire to mess with spoiler tags for this story I'll end my review with this:

The author discards common sense and logic, resulting in a protagonist that is needlessly persecuted and... more>> vilified for no substantial reason. What's more, the protagonist and everyone around him seems fine with letting this happen, and even supports these actions. Find a better story to read. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
Twilight Reverie rated it
Summoned Slaughterer
August 10, 2017
Status: c40
The story is well-written, the narrative is generally engaging, and the pacing is usually spot on. The characters are portrayed consistently and show noticeable growth in both ability and personality. From a pure literary standpoint, "Summoned Slaughterer" has all the elements of an excellent story.

The only problem is the protagonist himself. He's not evil, but he's not good either; the issue is that he is an undeniable sociopath. He is completely disconnected from society's norms and morals, which in turn makes it difficult for the reader to understand or identify... more>> with him. This makes complete sense from the aspect of his character design, but it also makes him an extremely poor choice for a story's protagonist. His presentation either serves to derail the reader's attention as they loose track of the plot, or exhaust the reader as he or she forces themselves to follow the narrative despite the characters actions and thoughts. <<less
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Twilight Reverie
Twilight Reverie rated it
Super Soldier King
March 29, 2017
Status: c9
Though the concept could be fun to read, it is fatally hampered by an extremely shallow plot and a constantly-increasing list of two-dimensional characters. The protagonist seems to drift from one altercation to another without rhyme or reason; the plot's lack of direction can be explained by the protagonist's stated intention of living a simple life after his mercenary career, but it does not make for a very engaging narrative.
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