It's always forgiveness, forgiveness.
he doesn't even realise his so called forgiveness is a stupid choice to make, he places the blame on himself, yeah that sounds self sacrificing, But his self sacrificed by blaming for his own RAPE, like, seriously, RAPE. ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEE.
Anyways, it's not the worst thing in the world, there are many BL's like this out there, with the whole, It's not rape if it feels good thing.
Honestly at one point, when he was raped, the author properly pointed out that it was a bad thing but then it just went back full circle and apparently, all the same sh*t that happened after it wasn't the same, WHEN IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME.