If You Don’t Go To Hell, Who Will?

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In all my life, I’ve only made two mistakes that I regret. The first was filling out my entrance exam application wrong, and the second was offending Zhong Yuan. If I had to use an idiom to describe the impact of my mistake, it would be simply, ‘Life is no better than death’. And if I had to use an idiom to describe Zhong Yuan’s offenses to me, it would be simply, ‘Too many crimes to record’. And yet, for as evil and wicked as he was, he attracted girls the way that flowers attracted bees and butterflies.

It happened that one day, for some reason, I taunted Zhong Yuan, “The King of Hell sent you to torture some more people, didn’t he?” Without a change in expression, he replied, “In order to torture fewer people, I decided to just choose one person to torture for the rest of my life.” I asked him, “What do you mean?” He smiled at me and answered, “If you don’t go to hell, who will?”

Associated Names
One entry per line
IYDGTH
IYDGTHWW
Ming Cao You Zhu
Ni Bu Ru Di Yu Shui Ru Di Yu
The School Hunk’s Taken
你不入地狱谁入地狱
名草有主
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
Why Not Soar Your Majesty (2)
Rock Sugar And Pear Stew (2)
You’re Beautiful When You Smile (1)
Union Of Enemies (1)
Heavy Sweetness Ash-Like Frost (1)
I Advise You To Like Me As Soon As Possible (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. romance for gloomy day
  2. Straight Modern Romance
  3. Completely translated novels 5 (higher ratings)
  4. Hets be Hetting pt.3
  5. To be read

Latest Release

Date Group Release
10/09/23 novellumina c67
10/09/23 novellumina c66
10/09/23 novellumina c65
10/09/23 novellumina c64
10/09/23 novellumina c63
10/09/23 novellumina c62
10/09/23 novellumina c61
10/09/23 novellumina c60
10/09/23 novellumina c59
10/09/23 novellumina c58
10/09/23 novellumina c57
10/09/23 novellumina c56
10/09/23 novellumina c55
10/09/23 novellumina c54
10/09/23 novellumina c53
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Review
19 Reviews


Bythesea
Bythesea
Nov 04, 2019
Status: Completed
I read this novel simply because I was bored and the title made me laugh. The story isn't anything special, but the humor didn't let me down. The final stretch of the novel has some issues that I'll talk about, but overall it was an enjoyable read. There's really no 'plot', it's a slice-of-life romance following the MC's college years.

Also, this review is for the original Chinese novel, I can't vouch for how enjoyable the translations are (from a glance the translator uses mtl and even an edited mtl is... more>> merely polishing a turd).

I think the MC is outstanding, I was surprised by how much I ended up liking her since I'm quite critical of web-novels, her sarcastic commentary is the highlight of this novel. Her straightforward, candid but somewhat clumsy personality is also super endearing. The author does a good job of rounding out her character through her thoughts and actions without dumping exposition on you. Little things that show up here and there, like her enthusiasm for photography and nature and how much she loves her dad, gives her a lot of heart. The narration plays up how much of a blockhead she is for laughs but she's an unreliable and humble narrator. She's not as s*upid as she makes herself sound, she surprised me with her grand-master skills in 8-ball pool and chess (and she is attending a top level college after all).

I don't understand why some reviews here make her out to be a gold-digger or a bad person, it's even mentioned specifically in the novel that she avoids dating wealthy people and is hurt by comments from outsiders claiming she's only dating the male lead for money. The MC says it best:
>我知道钟原有钱,可是我从来没有跟他要这要那,甚至好几次他要给我东西,我都没答应。一来我怕浪费,二来我希望我们在爱情上能够对等,况且两个人的感情也不是几件衣服几个包包能影响到的吧?这些情况他们根本就不了解,他们凭什么信口开河胡言乱语?
"I'm aware that Zhongyuan is well-off, but I've never asked him for this-or-that, I've even rejected him several times when he tried to buy me things. One, because I worry that he's squandering money; and two, because I wish for us to stand on equal footing when it comes to love; moreover, the affection between two people isn't something that can easily be manipulated by some outfits and a few purses. These people absolutely don't understand our circumstances, on what basis do they so confidently spout nonsense and lies?"

As readers we are privy to the ins and outs of their relationship and should know better, does the author literally have to spell out and spoon feed details that people should easily be able to pick up and infer from the characters actions?

The MC is charmingly honest and pragmatic, how can you not love her? I know some people like 'smart' 'talented' 'beautiful' etc protagonists but simply having these traits don't make a well written or enjoyable character. I prefer flawed, human characters, like the MC, with nuanced personalities. The MC may be somewhat of a ditz, indulgent, and compliant but she's also shows surprising determination, courage, flexibility, and responsibility.

The male lead on the other hand, there's not much to say, he's a typical romcom lead: wealthy, good at anything and everything, attractive, c*cky. With such a boring male lead, the MC honestly solo carries this story on her back. His domineering personality and his dogged pursuit of the MC (who barely tolerates his presence at best in the first half) basically stockholm syndrome's her into a relationship lmao. I'm not a fan of romances where the guy is so in love one basically can't be separated from the other, it's an unhealthy standard for relationships (get a life man), but it's fiction so you just have to let things slide.

That being said, despite being a poorly written character, I don't really dislike him, his one-sided love for the MC in the first half of the story really balances out their relationship. Although on the surface it seems he's tormenting her, at the bottom of it all he's the one that's truly suffering trying to get her to notice him. In his own words:
Spoiler

木头此人性格软弱,然而就是这样的人,在执着起来,才是真正的固执到令人发指,尤其在感情方面。想让她喜欢上自己,钟原还有很长一条路要走。
"Although this 'blockhead' (the MC) was naturally soft-hearted, it's exactly this type of person that turns truly stubborn, to the point of driving people insane, once they commit to something, especially when it comes to affection. If he want's her to fall for him, Zhongyuan still his a long road ahead of him."
钟原不打算算计什么,不是不能,是不愿。感情的事情,他不愿算计。
"Zhongyuan didn't plan on plotting anything, it wasn't that he couldn't, but he wasn't willing. When it comes to affection, he didn't want to be calculative."
那要是喜欢上她,怎么办?
"Then what can he do if he falls for her?"
还能怎么办,只能等她喜欢上自己。
"What else can he do? He'll just have to wait patiently for her to fall for him."
这就是木头的可恨之处,钟原几乎咬牙切齿。可是虽然恨,却依然喜欢。所以虽然表面上看来木头是被压迫的那一个,但真正被虐的,只能是他。
"This was precisely what made this 'blockhead' hateful, Zhongyuan was frustrated to the point of gnashing his teeth. But although he's resents it, he loves her all the same. So, even though on the surface it appears as if he's the one oppressing that 'blockhead', the one that's truly being tortured can only be him."

[collapse]
He suffers horribly for over a year LMAO, gotta respect his hustle, if I were him I would have given up after a month, maybe cry a little and then move on.

The problem with the last quarter of the story is that it loses much of its humor once they get together, and replaces it with a lot of corny PDA and a few minor relationship hiccups. It gets so over-dramatic at the end that it becomes unintentionally amusing. At one point
Spoiler

the s*upid couple have a fight and the MC runs away (dramatically) in tears and bumps into the second male lead who stops her because she's sobbing and he's a good person (seriously the author just forgets the second lead after this scene and I quite liked him, he had a lot more personality than the male lead, his feelings never get resolved), but the male lead catches up and sees them together and then gives her a sad smile and walks away (dramatically). Could they be ANY more extra?

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Another issue is that there's some s*x scenes towards the end of the story. While I don't mind authors adding s*x into the story, I'm not particularly fond of gratuitous, descriptive s*x as fan-service that adds nothing of substance to the progression of the story. But that's not the real problem, the problem I DO have is when authors describe s*x where only one party is really enjoying it. Even when it's written as 'consensual', for some reason Chinese webnovels often like to describe the girl being held down and in serious pain (literally screaming and crying) especially when it's their first time, it just feels really r*pey. There must be something wrong with s*x ed in China because they way it's portrayed by authors, GOD FORBID the woman enjoys s*x as well right? Usually I drop web-novels that write sh*t like this, but this chapter was towards the end of the novel and since I liked the MC so much I plowed through to the end. <<less
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Hikikomori_gaki
Hikikomori_g
Jun 21, 2018
Status: c6
This novel is just so funny and brilliant. I was getting so sick of all these transmigration novels and then I found this. The main character's got a sometimes lovable sometimes a little hateful kind of personality. She's not your typical goodie two shoes girl or just very cruel and sinister. She's very simpleminded and you'll absolutely love her. She's also a bit shameless at times. The interaction between the MC and ML is very funny and satisfying.
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CBC
CBC
Jun 15, 2018
Status: c19
This is a pretty funny novel so far. It's well written/translated and moves along quick enough so you don't lose interest. I like the interactions between the MC and ML. I think the low rating is because the MC is a touch unconventional. She is not your typical faculty goddess. She is more the shameless dorm mate that is the bu*t of jokes in other novels. I'm still waiting for her saving grace but I am enjoying the mischief until then.

Update at chapter 19 - Yup, I'm loving this... more>> novel even more now!! I think you'll like this if you liked "A Love So Beautiful!" <<less
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Lemoncillo
Lemoncillo
Nov 12, 2019
Status: c35.2
i burst out laughing so many times while reading this that I had to stop reading it at work

the FL is a blockhead but has her principles in place. She always has the weirdest thoughts and the strangest reactions. This is in first person so she is responsible for all the laughs

the ML is handsome, caring and good at everything. So far he’s not bad...

I am Glad someone took up the translation and here is why I wrote the review- the reviewer prior to me calls mtl “polished turd”. Frankly... more>> I for one, am immensely grateful for any translation which makes it possible to read Chinese novels I don’t know why a Chinese speaker (which I assume this reviewer was) would first of all come to a site of English translations to post her/his review. Then to say such bad things !!!! What if my translator sama gets disheartened ??? Mtl is not the real thing I know, but I don’t understand why people continuously try to pull it down <<less
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keenylee
keenylee
Jul 22, 2018
Status: c19
Loved the interaction between MC and ML. The story flow is smooth, hilarious as well as intriguing. It is well translated and I did not expect to like the MC so much but the author makes you root for her faults and all and the ML ?
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crimsoniv0j
crimsoniv0j
Jun 19, 2018
Status: --
This is good! Not the usual and ever predictable Transmigrated OP MC that is filling up NU these days!! ? Lol!! The MC is just a simpleminded lady.
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midori_13
midori_13
Nov 22, 2023
Status: Completed
I decided to read the novel because of the high rating... but I definitely didn't like at all... So I gave a three star rating. One star for the good translation, second star for the story that was clean and well written and third star for the creative appearance of the heroine, because...

... more>>
Spoiler

Female lead's head was shaved... I never read about a female lead with shaved hair. Yeah, she shaved her hair because she lost a bet... and that was really cool in my opinion...

[collapse]

The story is exactly as described in the summary. A pair of college students, that are enemies but ended up together. One is the bully, the annoyingly handsome and popular guy, while the other is the bullied, the dumb and thick skinned girl.

But I couldn't stand the novel, because...

Spoiler

... the first reason was the female lead Mu Er...

Spoiler

... that liked male lead's friend and always tried to hit on him and bootlick him. Im not a fan of female leads that bootlick their crush.

Maybe because I'm a proud person, I always feel uncomfortable and ashamed by those girls with lack of self respect with an obvious bootlicking behavior.

And the worst of all is that was so clear that her crush didn't like her at all and that her love advances only made him feel uncomfortable and still she kept going...

Argh, and I'm not even commenting about her continuous behavior of making a joke of herself while being so thick skinned. I think that behavior was supposed to be funny and bring some comedy to the novel? But that didn't make me laugh at all but only blush of embarrassment...

Besides she was kinda dumb, always falling for male lead's bullying that only humiliate her...

[collapse]

... the second reason was the male lead Zhong Yuan...

Spoiler

... since his behavior was like the behavior of a middle school kid... you know those boys that like a girl, but instead of demonstrating their liking, they try to call their attention by treating them bad and bullying them? Like pulling their ponytail, calling them with ugly nicknames, making pranks, etc?

Yeah, that's exactly the male lead... the mentality of a kid...

Besides, annoyingly, male lead was way superior to female lead. Handsome, popular, smarter and rich. Pursued and admired for all the girls while acting all cool and aloof... Roll my eyes...

The worst of all, is that instead of openly confessing his love for female lead... he keeps teasingly asking her if she likes him... going in circles while approaching her to make sure that she liked him and then finally saying with a proud smile of an annoying person that won in the end: "Be honest, you really like me."

I felt that due to all the bullying for female lead, he had to openly pursue her and deserved to be humiliated while female lead gave him the cold shoulder and only liking him in the end...

[collapse]

... the third reason was the second male lead Su Yan...

Spoiler

... this reason is for those who suffer from Second Male Lead Syndrome.

The second male lead was so cute, always openly pursuing, demonstrating his interest and affection for female lead... but she ended up with the s*upid male lead that always tried to pretend that didn't like female lead and because of that always bullied her? Argh... I can't stand that...

For example, in one of the parts of the novel...

Spoiler

... female lead, male lead and second male lead were participating in an amateur movie for a college colleague, and in the scene they were supposed to fight... but because both were love rivals, male lead started fighting for real, second male lead fought back, but ended up with a nose bleed... so female lead meddled in the fight by separating them... she grabbed male lead and stopped the fight... while totally ignoring second male lead, the one that ended up having more wounds...

While treating male lead wounds, he asked female lead: "Why didn't you pull the second male lead but instead you picked me?"

And female lead answered: "From what I saw, you were the one who started the fight."

And male lead got happy and satisfied and answered: "Thank you."

Omg! She gave more attention to the male lead that always bullied her, started the fight with second male lead and hurt him really bad. While the second male lead that was always caring and affectionate towards her and was more hurt, ended up being totally ignored by her?

That's bullshit... I felt so sad for second male lead...

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This novel is definitely not for me, but try reading... maybe this novel is your cup of tea... <<less
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Shortk
Shortk
Apr 19, 2020
Status: c40
Thank you for the translations! But regarding the story and characters, god I don't like either of them. They're dumb as shit. The both of them.

My sense of humor must be out of wack or it's y'all's that have a problem lmao. Because I did not laugh once. I did smack my head more times than I ever have for a book... I think. Lol
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TianTian
TianTian
Sep 02, 2018
Status: --
Oh I’m loving this novel too much. Indeed indeed she’s an airhead and keep falling into the pits ML set out. So silly. She reminds me of Tang Xiao from Why not Soar, Your Majesty. Of course, all the coincidences borderline on cliche tropes but her personality and mouth entertain me too much to get annoyed by it.
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sharon.nayoung
sharon.nayou
Mar 20, 2019
Status: c13.2
both characters are annoying. MC is interesting in that she's not the typical cookie-cutter C-Novel slice of life heroine -- she's freaking bald and plays basketball, and has no chest and is kind of s*upid. But my main issue with her is her inability to stand her ground and even attempt to save her pride. Every time she gets humiliated or hurt by the ML she forgives him almost immediately when he throws his money at her. It's frustrating and annoying when she can't stand her ground and help ML... more>> learn when he crosses the line. ML is awful because he derives joy from tormenting and humiliating MC, but the worst part is that he expects her to fit him into her future without even letting her know of his feelings.
Spoiler

how can he get mad at her for not including him in her mock-will when all he has done up until that point is embarrass, inconvenience, stress out the MC and get her ostracized and mocked by their peers? He obviously likes her, but why??

[collapse]
she isn't a good person, and he isn't either, but that doesn't mean that they're suddenly compatible. The only reason I can see that he likes her is because she's fun to humiliate and get a reaction out of. Which is not a good reason and makes for a toxic relationship later on if he gets bored of her. Sometimes he's very kind, but both the reader and the MC knows there's an ulterior motive to his actions that always ends up spelling trouble for the MC. Don't read this if you like MCs who dont let other people knock them around because of money. <<less
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Pink
Pink
Aug 02, 2018
Status: Completed
Wow.... lovely, sweet, and funny.

The girl is naive but has principle.

The boy is black belly, posesive and a little bit yandere..

The friends are so funny and each has their unique character....

The story is cliche but has its own unique favor... not too much drama...

Over all love the story

Oh and the mtl for this story is not too bad.
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GreenLily
GreenLily
Aug 02, 2018
Status: --
The bad rating doesn't give this silly story justice.

A light Rom-com that surely makes you smile every chapter. No drama, no angst. Just silly kids doing their silly things.

... more>>
Spoiler

Mu Er the MC is your typical head strong low IQ, low EQ and on top of it all she's bald. The only good thing about her is, she is thick skinned and has strong back ups.

The main ML is Zhong Yuan, typical black bellied prince that is shameless and tries too hard to get Mu Er to spare him some attention. She likes his room mate Lu Zijuan a little too much to his liking.

[collapse]

Even if MC dislikes ML for his bulliying but they could still be considered good friends as for now and that is quite refreshing compared to the "I HATE YOU, BUT I LOVE YOU" trope. <<less
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Siwuri
Siwuri
May 11, 2019
Status: c19
love it so funny! The translation stops at a critical Moment..!! I Need the next chapter! Please don’t stop it! Or anyone else Who can translate this funny and Sweet Story..? I‘m burning to Know how it will finish! Thank you!
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
WhatABatch
WhatABatch
Dec 22, 2018
Status: c19
I am so in love with this novel. The MC is hilarious! I would absolutely recommend it to everyone. I hope it continues to be translated.
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hoshikudaki
hoshikudaki
Jun 15, 2019
Status: c19
This is really good! I loved how the characters interact with each other, supporting characters included. Hopefully, someone will pick this up again as I really want to know the rest of the story. I tried MTL but the translation was just so bad, I couldn't bear to finish reading it.
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
bluesonnet
bluesonnet
Nov 13, 2023
Status: Completed
The FL was so entertaining. While I agree she hard-carried this novel (not surprising because it's centered on her), I also like the ML. This is just pure fluff, so don't expect anything super serious. I feel like there could have been a bit more depth and focus on FL's past (that part in one chapter was actually quite poignant and could have been more threshed out, imo). Still a good short read.
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Bl4ckpig
Bl4ckpig
Nov 08, 2023
Status: c28
Love it so far... the MC is a little bit dense but it is refreshing compare to MC that is overly too perfect.. and ML is very sweet.
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ZooRoPa
ZooRoPa
Apr 14, 2022
Status: c42
And another enjoyable story is abandoned midway.. There's so much laughter up to the middle of the story which totally makes up for the lack of a substantial plot.. I wish someone could translate rest of the chapters.
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charmed21
charmed21
Apr 20, 2020
Status: c40
This novel is so funny and sweet. Please continue translating. The characters are so unique and they are so cute together! I story is so good, I tried reading the rest on mtl, but it's never the same as translations by real people. It's such a shame if this doesn't get fully translated.
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