Living to Suffer

Description

Links are NOT allowed. Format your description nicely so people can easily read them. Please use proper spacing and paragraphs.

And his life had been but a prelude to these three things – a summer shower, a glimpse of inky reeds and one man.

Shen Liangsheng is lying in the dirt bleeding away when a doctor, Ch’in Ching, discovers the wounded man. This sets off a series of events, some the doctor expected and others that catches him off guard but are nonetheless all a part of destiny’s plans to pit these two men’s desires against their principles.

Associated Names
One entry per line
Huo Shou Zui
活受罪
Related Series
Till Death Do Us Part (Sequel)
Recommendations
Cold Sands (5)
The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (4)
The Decade of Deep Love (3)
Encountering a Snake (2)
Till Death Do Us Part (2)
Gaze at the Scenes of Debauchery (2)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Completed
  2. tragedy
  3. TBR BL that i believe hold the potential to make i...
  4. Novel interessanti da tradurre -Cinesi
  5. BLs that Stay with You

Latest Release

Date Group Release
09/20/17 Chinese BL Translations c20 (end)
09/13/17 Chinese BL Translations c19
09/07/17 Chinese BL Translations c18
08/30/17 Chinese BL Translations c17
08/23/17 Chinese BL Translations c16
08/18/17 Chinese BL Translations c15
08/10/17 Chinese BL Translations c14
08/02/17 Chinese BL Translations c13
07/26/17 Chinese BL Translations c12
07/19/17 Chinese BL Translations c11
07/12/17 Chinese BL Translations c10
07/05/17 Chinese BL Translations c9
06/28/17 Chinese BL Translations c8
06/21/17 Chinese BL Translations c7
06/14/17 Chinese BL Translations c6
Go to Page...
Go to Page...
Write a Review
43 Reviews sorted by


Lovelies
Lovelies rated it
November 30, 2019
Status: Completed
Really compelling and complex characters that you can't help but root for them and try to understand them. The story is beautifully tragic and the actual writing style is absolutely vivid and gorgeous. Even the summary itself is art.

It's short but does not feel rushed at all (a lot of other short stories fail to do this). It won't take too much of your time and this is definitely one of the better BL/Yaoi novels out there.

Smut is very well-written and interesting too :)
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
srrrahim
srrrahim rated it
September 4, 2018
Status: Completed
Don`t understimate the tragedy tag

wuwuwu this CN is too much. MC died without knowing that ML actually love him. Well, he give some clue to MC, but ML didn`t bluntly said that he love him. WHYYYY

hahhh, , overall, this novel is good. Not my favorite, but this is a good novel to spend time
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
733ash
733ash rated it
April 17, 2023
Status: Completed
I went in knowing it was a tragedy, and had a BE (bad ending). At first, it seemed like it was mostly NSFW, so I didn't really get too attached to the characters. It was not until the last chapter that I (just like Shen Liangsheng) realized that I really wanted more. As someone who detests BE, and angst this was bearable for me. If you enjoy reading beautiful prose, and a melancholy story, and romance set in a wuxia setting, I recommend this novel, and the sequel.

“During the time... more>> I stayed there, I listened in on one of my shifu’s conversations with him. Master Shan said that his sins were unforgivable even if he spent this lifetime repenting and that death would be release. Thus he wanted to live and suffer for his wrongdoings.”

chapter 18

“Ch’in Ching.”
Shen Liangsheng stepped out of his dark corner for the first time and approached the metal coffin. Looking up at the hanging man, he enunciated each word slowly,
“After you die, I will live on.”
“... ”
“Every bit of pain you suffer now was given unto you by me.”
“... ”
“And I have witnessed it with my very eyes and memorized every bit of it.”
“... ”
“From this day on, I shall remember it every day and dream of it every night.”
“... ”
“So that I may live in pain every single day for the rest of my life.” <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Xia_Sini_Nyanning
Xia_Sini_Nyanning
August 2, 2021
Status: Completed
For those who wants to find emotional rides, start with this then read the next sequel, Till Death do Us Apart.

I will start with my personal review on this. It took me a day to complete this.

It was good, to be honest, in a way, I've started out my danmei journey through wuxia and xianxia plots. Generally this does hit the spot for fluff and smut. Which made me feel very contented. That was what I needed. I needed the emotional rollercoaster. This one gave me 4/5 of the ride.

The... more>> romance in this story is more towards the push factor rather than pull (push and pull like the force). But because our MC was pre-destined to suffer that way. We've (reader) has gotten the flow at the middle part of the chapters. Which gave us the heads up for the impact.

What cushion the impact was the ML's realization of himself being capable to be love and love another.

Sadness was what concluded the whole series for me. <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
rayraybites
rayraybites rated it
May 8, 2021
Status: Completed
I second namio's review. Couldn't have written it better >.>

Tbh, at first, I was going to say this kind of work (kinky and edgy quality smut) is a dime a dozen on Archive of Our Own. But I couldn't say it anymore after I read its sequel. It was truly a beautiful story with unarguably the best translations I've ever read.

I didn't cry after the end of this book because kind of like how Achiless mentioned, it was short, although I wouldn't say it was too short. I think it's... more>> the perfect length and I couldn't have done anything better. The 20 chapters just weren't enough to fully resonate with the characters just yet. After I read the prequel though, there was no stopping my tears lol and I practically cried myself to sleep (I was reading late rip).

Anyways, this work isn't for you if you're not into heavy, elaborately woven themes. <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
pHantomRJ
pHantomRJ rated it
September 12, 2020
Status: Completed
I felt a little twitch in my heart after reading this book. Setting aside the smuts the story is rather good. I really felt sad when I read the last chapter.

These is the favorite line in the whole novel.

You leave me with three words of ambiguity and I will return three of sincerity ... more>>
Spoiler
[collapse]
.

The last line by the ML literally brought my self-deprecating smile-

“grant me death” ➖

This book is really worth reading if you want to experience a little distress. I appreciate the author ’s work. You have my gratitude. I'm heading to the sequel now. <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Cocole
Cocole rated it
July 6, 2020
Status: Completed
Beautiful love story. Translation is first class. Thank you author and translator for this wonderful piece of art.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
lanyons
lanyons rated it
March 9, 2020
Status: --
even the title should give you a pretty good indication of the sheer amount of angst there is in this one (followed by an unhappy ending). BUT it has the most beautiful prose style I've ever seen in a cnovel, which the amazingly talented translator somehow managed to render poetically. There are relatively few characters, which means that the author is able to delineate their personalities skilfully & in a fair amount of detail (when she talks about? How all shen liangsheng knew of love is an earnest expression? I felt as though I had been kicked in the face?) also, the plot & revealing of information is done really well, in a way that keeps the pace moving. &Amp; lastly? I actually ended up reading some of the smut for this one. It is most excellent ;)
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
wicketginger
wicketginger rated it
March 14, 2019
Status: c20
That was really good and really depressing all at once. It's a bittersweet feeling. The ending just makes you cry and hope there's a little tidbit to remove the sadness. How could he do it. It's just not fair. I hate it and enjoyed it all at once. I feel like crap now. Eff that ending!!
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
wistful
wistful rated it
February 26, 2019
Status: c20
Very tragic, very depressing.

Some tragedies happen when an innocent character does something, and their action snowballs into a ton of unintended tragic consequences. It's horrible things happening to innocent people.

In this story, both characters walked into tragedy knowing full well what was going to happen. They did it anyways because they were both raised from birth to follow a certain path and be loyal to a certain ideal. And I literally mean by birth, both characters were raised in a way to discourage attachments to others and ensure utmost loyalty... more>> to their respective causes.

When that is taken into account, were their fates inevitable? Or were there chances for both parties make a choices. Yes, no, maybe both?

To me, the true tragedy was what happens to ML...

Spoiler

In the end, he sacrificed his love for nothing. His sect is destroyed anyways. He loses both his home and his love.

[collapse]

The entire story is interspersed with gratuitous smut scenes. They might seem sort of out of place at first, but they actually do a good job at showing how ML is slowly softening towards MC. <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
meridianna
meridianna rated it
July 16, 2018
Status: Completed
i know it's tragedy but I still thought I would be immune to angst. I underestimated it. I thought I would be ok and all. the result? no it's not ok at all. I cried in the end. and be haunted by it (?) :' (
the plot is actually very nice. the supporting characters are great even the numbers are not many. tho the most redeeming thing is the couple. idk, the MC is just rly hitting in the heart. how he feels indifference toward the world, but in... more>> the same time cannot hate it coz ML is in it. and how ML gradually falls in love with him.... it... it.... it is so nice :' (
makes me jealous and envious *cough*
the smut is great. I swear it's really great. there's not many novels which smut scene is really comparable with the plot/story.
Spoiler

but that last smut really scarred me. pls...... I don't want another only-dream-smut scene like Kara no Shoujo 2. err I know I'm ridiculous to compare eroge with danmei. still, that kind of scene really gets me traumatized.

[collapse]

i know I will remember this in a veeery long time albeit only 20 chap.

and now, I should read the sequel to negate the angst :"" <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
loneplum
loneplum rated it
February 22, 2023
Status: Completed
Stumbled across this when I was considering reading its sequel “Till Death Do Us Part”. And I was blown away. This was a really poetic piece of tragedy. Definitely worth reading when you need some angst.

Set in the cultivation world, a doctor helps heal a martial artist because of a chance encounter. One embraces and indulges in their passionate affair while the other finally feels his heart begin to stir. Their relationship is heartbreaking as the reader knows how their fates will end.

Really love how the dialogue and even the... more>> lack of dialogue between the the couple carry a deeper meaning.

In this story, the highs are high and the lows are low - there’s hot smut but the ending hurts. <<less
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
claus2
claus2
January 10, 2022
Status: Completed
Read this! It ends badly but their new lives will be amazing to read in the sequel! I recommend this story for its amazing translation and writing style, and also the smut is hot lol

You can also only read the sequel if bad endings are not for you, but their souls will have their happy ending :)
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
kaytiti
kaytiti rated it
October 30, 2021
Status: Completed
Smut alone merited 5 stars.

Translation merited 6 stars! Smut is smut but here's somehow better. Description, stylistic devices, vocabulary and imagery use in this translation made me felt somehow these scenes were sensually different to other smut I've read before.

Besides it's a tragedy 💔 it's really worth reading. The plot is "deep" and mysterious till the end. Sure it's "tragedy" for me to express with my basic English! 🤪 I'll read the sequel when have time. Happy just to know the translator had lived in Quebec for a short while and... more>> has learned French too! <<less
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Andcro
Andcro rated it
January 17, 2021
Status: Completed
Absolutely heartbreaking. The translation is goals and I had to read it twice just to truly appreciate every detail.

Both MC and love interest are amazing deep characters. You fall in love with them instantly. Is so short but it truly feels like a breathing vivid world where you just want to know more. For sure I’m going to read the next one.
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Fluffy From Flufferland
Fluffy From Flufferland rated it
January 3, 2021
Status: Completed
I... I usually love tragedies but I rarely find one worthy of giving full rating but this... This is a book that will resonate deep in my mind for years to come.

Its deep and the emotions are so natural, the flow of the story is smooth so much so that I felt like I was watching the characters from the sidelines inside the story.

The relationship between the characters and how they really do live to suffer is portrayed in a most wonderful way.

I rarely give high praise but... This book... more>> deserves all the praise I could give. For a short few chapters it held a roller coaster of emotions within.

I recommend it to anyone who loves tragedies and do prepare your tissues and for an unforgettable experience.

Wonderful writing, wonderful Translation. <<less
1 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
BiMyself rated it
January 30, 2024
Status: c20
I was thrown off a bit with all the smut, though I'd admit that it was written exceptionally well, but it kinda distracted from the crux of the story. The ambiguity of emotions between SLS and CC. It's a story that evokes thinking, and different people will have different understanding of the relationship between the couple. Looking forward to reading about their next life
0 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
ggyida
ggyida rated it
December 9, 2023
Status: c1
"I love you" for no reason. Confusing setup of backstory. ML Shen Liangsheng's thinking/character is so dry and out of nowhere. Same could be said for MC Ch'in Ching.
0 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
PeonyDancer
PeonyDancer rated it
February 18, 2023
Status: --
Didn't think I'd cry over a book where 3.5/5 of it is *ahem ahem*... but I did and you will too.

Thankfully, there's 'Till Death do us Part', which KIND OF gives us a Happy Ending for the main CP here <3
0 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
heeseung
heeseung
September 24, 2022
Status: --
it's heartbreaking but I didn't cry. It's also really wholesome.
0 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Leave a Review (Guidelines)
You must be logged in to rate and post a review. Register an account to get started.