Transmigrated as the Cannon Fodder Abandoned by the Movie Star

Description

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Gu Qingchi transmigrated into an insignificant cannon fodder. The author didn’t set any of the details of the cannon fodder’s character settings, so everything was randomly generated.

Then, somehow, he ended up becoming the most beautiful person in the entire novel.

However, it didn’t matter. As a cannon fodder with two sentences in the book i.e. Marriage & Divorce, he is unable to leave the barest trace in the world till the divorce! His existence was forgotten & he was left completely isolated.

Gorgeous beyond measure, after finishing the cannon fodder storyline, Gu Qingchi could debut by relying on his face alone.

When the well-known movie star’s love affair was exposed, his fans were furious and ready to take this guy down, but ended up being captivated by his beauty.

Associated Names
One entry per line
穿成被影帝抛弃的炮灰
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
The Most Popular Comedian (1)
Transmigrated Into a Big Boss to Snatch Away the Cannon Fodder (1)
Transmigrated into the Film Emperor’s Death-Seeking Fiance (1)
Your Rival in Love Gets Prettier Every Day (1)
Cannon Fodder Fake Master Was Stunned After Being Reborn (1)
Daily Life of the Canary Pet Master (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Just another wife-chasing list
  2. Chrysanthemun (Translation Completed)
  3. bl novels - completed
  4. The feels (BL drama)
  5. I hated it !!

Latest Release

Date Group Release
07/05/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c138
07/03/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c137
07/02/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c136
07/01/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c135
06/14/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c134
06/13/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c133
06/12/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c132
06/11/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c131
06/10/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c130
06/09/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c129
06/08/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c128
06/07/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c127
06/06/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c126
06/05/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c125
06/04/23 Chrysanthemum Garden c124
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97 Reviews sorted by


Devrai
Devrai rated it
August 8, 2023
Status: c138
Don't fall for the click-bait, this novel is a serious downer.

At first it started rather good but it became a mess.I wonder if the writer went in with any idea what to write. It is a messy mix of everything and nothing.

MC is too over the top beautiful and the writer emphasized this relentless. Everyone is super in awe of his good looks. He gets gigs on fashion week, gets nominated for movie trophies and so forth.... by doing nothing.

Then there is that really f*cking annoying story line about... more>> his depression. He gets serious depressive because of those 2 years he is in his "golden cage" aka marriage. To be honest I don't see it. I mean he knew it is only for that part of time and he was supposedly a stable person prior. That kind of descent is... well, too extrem. And there it started.... up and down, up and down... the writer concentrated somewhat on this part for like 70 chapters but somehow MC was still a super star without doing anything. Life doesn't work that way.

I can't describe it properly but the inconsistent mix of every dogblood drama mixed in on top of the depression and description just annoyed the living hell out of me. I mean he even won a trophy without being nominated at the end? And he was just called by the doctor to come in and gets told he is healed? From attempting su*cide to healed and no medication in one year? Sure....

Also there are so much sloppy errors. Like, first the dog had two puppies then it was only one and so on. The writer is really loose on the details.

ML is basically only a therapy dog. I'm a bit sorry for him.

I would not recommend this novel. Especially not if you are looking for something warm or wholesome. <<less
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hy-d-ra
hy-d-ra rated it
January 31, 2024
Status: Completed
I'm lazy to write a new review and don't remember this novel much, so I will simply copy review from my blog 05/'21

Before I start, I'd like to say, I don't mind the theme that was described, but damn the execution most of the time was messy.

The title says it all. Gu Qingchi's first day crossing was the second day of his marriage with an actor, Xie Luyu (ML). Then the plot was put into action and his life was a blank piece of paper for two years when the... more>> plot was implemented, since he was a cannon fodder, his existence was simply invisible, people would not remember him after meeting once, he couldn't interact with the world, except sending messages out, but with no answers. When the two years passed and he was asked to sign divorce papers, his role was over and he was free. But these two years changed him for the rest of the plot.

Now. The undertone of this novel is really depressing, basically it has a lot of emotional torment and depression from MC's point of view due to that period of time that left him with struggle to just live. He moved out, started working and was simply on his own and struggling, just floating with no sense of attachment to the world. There's really no plot, he was just assigned a role, so I have no idea why author decided to make it a "plot". As extras showed author put many reancarnations and all of them ended up badly. I really had no idea why they would add something so miserable.

As a turn of events Qingchi saw his only way is to enter entertainment industry to earn quick money for the cat that he picked up, he didn't like the cat, but the cat was really attached to him, so he took the small life in his hands and refused to put the cat to sleep and decided to earn the expenses. He was picked up by a good agent and slowly got few good projects, one of which was a show where he met ML, his actual ex-husband. Though Xie Luyu had no idea who Qingchi was, since the influence of the plot and Qingchi's invisibility was there, but he was attracted and soon tried to get close. Qingchi actually didn't push it away, but both didn't make things clear even after cohabitation. ML was really accomodating all of MC's states, he cooked, took care etc.

The breaking point was when ML mentioned being together and marriage, which MC discarded and instead broke off cleanly, since for him marriage was something out of the question. ML soon regretted, they didn't meet often after that, but whenever it was possible he tried to be close, tried to rebuild the bridge and helped MC behind the scenes whenever he could. At that time ML didn't fully understand MC and his motivation, but MC never shared either.

The breaking point for MC was when he met the family, it was his real family in his past life as he remembers, but here they were not (actually they were, it was a plot twist I'll explain in detail later). Some time after one gathering where his actual mother had a breakdown and protected him, calling him her child, MC actually committed su*cide. He was saved due to ML, who saw his message and knowing MC's character thought it was strange, he rushed to his house seeing MC covered in blood, wet, with slashed wrist, he walked out of the bathroom only because he answered the phone. Later he got into the hospital and with time his family actually figure out that this boy is the child they thought died after birth. MC's mother gave birth in a hospital, MC's father was abroad and came back only to see the message that the mother was ok, but the child was gone, his mistake was that he didn't find oddities that child was taken care of so quickly, but at the same time, his useless younger brother got himself a kid, despite several marriages and infertility. Only now MC's mother found it strange that people call MC her son, because they look so much alike, this pushed the family to uncover the truth and find MC, their lost son.

Despite the reunion, there was a tiny alienation between father, brother and MC, they cared and loved him, but he was already grown up, only his mother, who got these delusions of having the child (which were her past memories) that everyone thought she was mental. But because of this they had a close link with MC. Yet, this wasn't enough. MC was diagnosed with severe depression, though I think he acted a bit bipolar throughout entire plot (I'm no pro, so sorry if I'm mistaken in my judgement). His family cared for him, it also came almost after MC's previous marriage was dug out and posted online. He also admitted to it himself and said that he was unhappy in marriage. ML wanted to help him out and directed fire on himself, posting his own divorce, but it was this moment he found out that the partner he was forced to marry was actually MC, which pushed him into a torment. He realized that the one who was mostly responsible was himself, since he decided at that time that he wouldn't care for the partner who he never saw before and even his marriage was done without his consent whatsoever. Later he also found out about the messages MC sent. But despite that he already was deeply in love with MC and he couldn't really keep away. MC's family asked him to stay away, but ML knew about MC's condition and he knew that despite anything, he can't. And MC actually found some peace with ML by his side.

The ending was quite positive, but it still holds a baggage of scars that they've been through. MC gets his life back, since his parents and brother actually regain previous memories that pulled them closer, though no one actually talked about it, ppl just started acting like in previous life. MC also walks out from his depressed state and even promises ML, which previously was a taboo. He regains his life, some aspirations and moves on.

Now, two points I want to dive into:

  1. Mental health question. MC strived for love and acceptance, though rarely talked about it, it was briefly mentioned way later. He also had really severe mood swings, like one second he is happy and next second he harms himself. But author describes it as severe depression, I've never been there myself, so I can't judge, but I had my own dark periods and I couldn't get out of quigemire of my own thoughts, but I didn't want to harm myself, instead I lost weight. I'm really not against this question being discussed and this type of MC existing, because it tells a different story, of a sensitive person who was erased for 2 years, he lost any motivation and aspiration and was just floating along, he didn't take seriously anything, though he did his given tasks seriously, but he could cleanly break relationships, move from here to there, but he had no feeling of belonging. I think the moment of his mother breaking down in front of him actually harmed him a lot because he has all those memories of being cared about, but these people are not those parents. But his parents' care and care of ML actually made me think - damn, they suffer no less from the person themselves, they care for their child/brother/lover who has those issues. I'm pretty sure the whole question - is this world even real - was going through his head. But most of it, are my guesses. This is the part where my second point comes in.
  2. The writing is a mess. Most of the things I'm talking about are my guesses. Although it does take the majority of space and describes MC's not really state and thoughts, but just actions by which you can judge the level of his depression, his indifference to world, his melancholy etc. I must confess, for 134 chapters I found it really draggy at times (there were at least 20+ descriptions of MC being compared to a cat that is on his own, like it's hard to get close to him etc. That I find unnecessary), especially the beginning, at other times there were sudden time skips too, like the ending part contains quite a skip and MC getting better and promising ML. Maybe it's the thing about restrictions and that is why authors don't dwell on things, but really, it wouldn't hurt to describe his thoughts more. Because such important stuff like why MC got hooked up with ML wasn't only built on him not being repulsed, but actually being jealous of ML, since he was so tormented inside and felt so horrible, but ML was fine, so he wanted to drag ML along, which was his egoistic desire he was aware of, this part came way later, but was really not obvious when reading. You can't guess such stuff when it's plainly written, but the explanation comes way later. I also didn't find the whole book and world collapsing a thing, since it just added misery. The family's awakening to previous memories is also strange, MC is described as very sensitive to emotions, so he felt the difference. Anyway you can get the idea, but I find the way it was written quite messy.
In general it was pretty depressing, what else can you feel when you read about a tormented character. There were some parts that made me think about stuff, but not necessarily that the novel was good. But I still ended up feeling really down after it and wasn't satisfied how author handled MC going out from this state, because as a reader I stayed in that state of sadness feeling for MC and the author didn't take my hand and allowed me to open the door and walk out, to really feel it, again nothing was written specifically at all, no thoughts, things were basically the same, just MC got his motivation back and later stopped medication, but what exactly made him like that, I can only assume - love and time. Although previously same love and time didn't stop him.

RATE: 3/5. That's the most I can get with deduction of messiness and really gliding on top of things and conveniently putting them later on. <<less
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HooliganReader
HooliganReader
July 16, 2023
Status: Completed
If you're expecting some faceslapping novel where the MC throws away his scum ex then takes over the entertainment circle, think again. This is a story of how isolation due to an external factor resulted in a bright sunny well loved boy becoming depressed and how he struggled to survive and find the meaning of life again. Along the way he entered the entertainment circle because he be flat out broke (and basically just became a winner in life in the entertainment circle coz he be GORGEOUS and everyone just... more>> LOVES him) and meets the ML (who is such a sweetheart and one of the most DARLING ML out there), establishes a love hate relationship, gets worse then slowly recovers from his depression. It's really well written and heartbreaking when you read about it. I would highly recommend it if you won't get triggered by suicidal tendencies and depressive episodes. <<less
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Toyo
Toyo rated it
April 23, 2023
Status: c97
I think the rating one would give this plot would depend on one’s personality and experiences. I found myself crying towards the later chapters when depression came to the forefront. I think the author has done a marvelous job capturing different kinds of people and personalities. I love the MC and empathize with his struggles. Are there loopholes in the storylines? Maybe! But I am relating to the emotional aspect of the plot so strongly that those don’t matter to me.
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Fujaiya Sumyoshi
Fujaiya Sumyoshi rated it
October 15, 2022
Status: Completed
Leaving behind a review felt like a mandatory responsibility after giving it a 5 star to explain my reaction.

The plot line is from different perspective, and isn't limited to MC, or ML. The agents, staffs, fans, and relatives all had their own perspective to show different part of MC and ML's life and growth.

The light presentation of MC staying in an empty house, all alone made us feel like the beginning is pretty cliche and generic, just like every other transmigrated MCs out there, dropping in the parallel/alternate world and... more>> WHAM, change their future, personality etc. However, the more we delve deeper into the life of the MC, we start to notice signs of MC forcefully detaching himself, isolating himself from the surrounding, not being an active participant, rather a silent observer. MC isn't born like this, rather he forgot how to react normally. MC, a pampered younger son in his own world, was dead and transmigrated in a world where he had no one to even talk to. His personality change starts from there.

The beginning of MC and ML's relationship dissatisfied many, however the narration from different perspective showed how OMC and ML were both victim to a forced marriage, where ML didn't meet the MC, didn't know his name directly (never bothered to look at the paperwork because they were filled by his greedy mother, not himself) and was never directly in contact with MC. No matter how much people argue that, at least ML should've checked on MC even once. Well, if he did that, we wouldn't be reading this novel today. And considering ML's past, at that time, he completely had a fallout with his family at that time, leaving home with his luggage and never returning. The estate lived in by the MC was just one of the properties ML and his family had. So ML and MC never crossed path.

Spoiler

The ML initially thought he was responsible for MC's depression, even though he couldn't completely understand MC's suicidal tendencies. ML repeatedly indicated honestly that his sense of pity is due to him feeling responsible, and his affection was also not completely undamaged because of MC's erratic behavior. However, the moment ML finally and authentically realized his own hand in the destruction of MC's psychology is when he goes through the messages. He understood the depth of suffering MC suffered during being forcefully detained in the house for 2 long years for the sake of plot of a story which didn't have much details provided. ML beats himself over it, but we can see the step by step psychological care the ML shows to heal MC way before he reads the messages. The su*cide attempt was a real warning.

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The story portrays the realistic representation of a patient suffering from the case of depression. Despite having a lot of plot holes, the rest of story could hold on their own.

All in all, it was good read. <<less
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Eueu
Eueu rated it
October 9, 2022
Status: Completed
I like it very much. I read the mtl during the latter half and it was still pretty understandable.

Plot synopsis (will contain some major spoilers, I just need to process)

... more>>
Spoiler

So our MC got transmigrated into a world that seems to be in a novel. His role is to be a nameless character who was the ML's ex husband. ML didn't want to be married in the first place because it was arranged by his family without his consent in an attempt to control him. So ML and MC never met during the 2 years of their supposed marriage. Unfortunately, during those 2 years, there seems to be a supernatural halo surrounding MC where he cannot form emotional bonds with anyone. In the last chapters, it will be revealed that it seems to be a result of the ML wanting to resurrect the MC who accidentally died in their original world. (Not very sure abt this tho since I just read the MTL). Anw. So the MC was like a ghost during those 2 years because people he talk to forget about him the next day. He attempts to live a normal life but he eventually gets depression and a bit of an alcoholism.

Two years passed by and ML's atty brought a divorce agreement but MC has to vacate the house where he lived at (it belonged to the ML), return the bank card he was using, and had to live using his own means. He starts working as a waiter at a bar and gets discovered and becomes an actor because he's handsome. He meets there the ML who is already a veteran actor. ML crushes on MC not knowing this is his ex husband he ignored for 2 years.

Anw too lazy to write more but they become closer. MC accepts ML's kindess and affection because he thinks that ML owes it to him. ML wants them to date but MC refuses because his manager doesnt allow him to date. It's not explicitly said but it's probably because MC is afraid to be abandoned again, so he just wanted the status quo to remain. They kinda fall out. MC goes back to living monotonously: habitual drinking, eating take outs, not caring about his body, etc etc. ML finds out that MC was his ex husband. ML finds MC again and they cohabitate again but they are a lot less closer compared to before. ML finally realizes that MC's depression is very, very real. MC is not just quiet and melancholic but actually depressed. ML helps MC to get back on his feet and MC learns to take care of himself better.

At this point, it's revealed that MC's original family from his original timeline actually exists! I always thought that this was just a parallel timeline but it turns out MC is the same person as the body he's occupying. He's just in a different, more unfortunate circumstnace. Apparently in this timeline, he was stolen as a baby by his uncle's family so he grew up neglected while his og family believes that he died when he was a baby. When his original mom saw him, she felt a kind of affinity with our MC but ofc she doesn't recognize him as her son yet. During this time, I think MC was feeling more and more depressed. Imagine seeing your family, the home you live in, but they don't remember you and there is no way to explain his experience. His divorce was also exposed so his career was hit and he received quite severe bashings. When MC was invited by his og family in a banquet, his "mother" (one who stole her) saw him and suddenly slapped him because they had to find out about the divorce online. MC appeared to be unpertubed, comforted his (real) mom that he's okay. When he went home, he texted his manager, assistant, the ML to ask whether they can foster his cat the next day. He then attempts su*cide by slitting his wrist. ML had a bad premonition and was weirded out by the text because he felt MC would not trouble people so he decided to check it out and was able to save the MC.

I think this point gives u a better understanding of MC's character because I was VERY surprised by the su*cide attempt. MC can come off as this indifferent and confident character. He's hardworking and not camera-conscious. He seems to have a good mentality. However, it is revealed throughout the novel that he can be sensitive and insecure. He won't show it but he is hurt very easily. He's not very eager to form emotional relationships but has a yearning for it. So while the attempt was very surprising, it was a breaking point that was necessary. Btw, even prior to this chapter I was already crying in every chapter and when I read this, my tears just wont stop lolol

MC gets admitted in a hospital and the ML stays with him the whole time. His og family finds out that MC is their family. What proceeds is the MC's road to healing. It was a bit bumpy as he sometimes relapsed and one time, even self harmed. But his family and ML was very supportive. Family members gradually seem to recall memories of their original timeline (through dreams) where the young MC who was very cute, very lively, and doted upon grew up with them. So yeah, heartbreaking.

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Honestly, if you are into transmigration and angsty stories, this will be for you. If there are some plot holes, you are wrong because your questions about MC's transmigration, his background, about why was he trapped for 2 years, why didn't ML know he was his ex husband, it will have an explanation. You just need to read until the end.

In the last chapters, there is an extra that talks about the MC's original world

Spoiler

It's revealed that they are actually lovers but MC died early due to a car accident. I'm honestly not sure if that's the reason why he transmigrated but what I'm sure is that ML is some sort of god or non human being who fell in love with MC. I think we'll need to wait for the translation for this to be cleared up.

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nanda_ray
nanda_ray
April 7, 2022
Status: --
This is my first comment in NU, sorry for my grammar.

I can't stand it anymore, the ML is really disgusting.

First of all, my heart was broken for MC. He is a good kid. It not his fault to have mental breakdown after life like that for 2 year.

... more>>
Spoiler

But ML is make me want to vomit, especially after he know MC is his ex and he regret it, he pity MC. For real, I think he regret because he fall in love with MC and love make you pity him.

I think he will feel nothing if his ex was not someone that he love. He did not treat his ex like human-being, no responsibility, no humanity, it really disgusting.

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I feel pity for MC, he deserve someone better. <<less
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SkylarkHope
SkylarkHope
October 31, 2023
Status: c1
I really loved this novel.

Haha it's really funny how it made me realize maybe I am suffering from depression too.

(I thought it's all my melodramatic attitude... but maybe it's not?...)

... more>> But reality is a bit different... Very few have people like Xie Luyu in their life or supportive family like Gu Qingchi's.

It's true that No can fight our battles for us... we have to do it ourselves but what changes the journey is whether it's alone or together... what makes the fight easier is the support from loved ones.

I remember one of my seniors (dorm-mate) once told me they have never seen me cry. It's hard when The One Poeple see isn't what you are. They see a sunshine girl but not the clouds underneath. They don't see how I don't have the energy to even get up from bed or eat.

It's true I have a good life. Maybe I am ungrateful but 95% time I don't even feel like living. It's like I am fading away, the world seems black and white too me. I don't reach out anymore, no reply backs no receiving call. I guess if my papa doesn't come home during meal times... I won't even eat. The only time I feel something is when I read novels... other times I don't feel anything at all.

Many years back, one of my closed person told me , " It's hard for someone like you to live so tiring... you will face many difficulties I hope you don't break".

I didn't understand it then but maybe I do now. <<less
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Abdalkarim Alamir
Abdalkarim Alamir rated it
July 22, 2023
Status: c69
I read a bit of everything, I read BL novels because the plot is usually interesting and different.

This is the first time I've written a review.

The novel started out good, the premise was good, and it had potential, I haven't read it fully but I just got.. uh. Super bored?

First thing I have to say, as someone with depression, I don't get why people say this novel portrays depression correctly? Sure I can confidently say MC has it, everyone's depression manifests differently. But what was more prevalent was his lack... more>> of common sense, not depression. And I know a lot of people with depression who can take care of themselves, so the MC not taking care of himself is a sign of depression, but I can say that no one can ever portray depression correctly because it shows up differently on different people.

Second, I hate the style of writing. There are constant and repeating lines and metaphors that would make the novel shorter by half and it wouldn't affect the plot such as ML being a dog, MC being a cat, the MC's unnecessary beauty descriptions, everyone going silent is his presence.

Third, the side character are some of the most bland ones I have ever read about, they are all there for the MC's convenience, they are lifeless. I can say the same for MC and ML.

Fourth, back to the writing style again, this could have saved the novel in my opinion, the story feels as if you are watching from the sidelines, and you even know more about what the ML is thinking than the MC. If the writing was from the MC's POV, It would have explained the blandness of the side characters, and it would have filled plot holes, because I feel this story needs an unreliable narrator.

Fifth, the entertainment part of the story is so... uh... badly executed? The MC is good at acting without taking classes? Sure he may be talented. The MC can do modeling like it is nothing? Sure he could be talented. Every scandal can be solved easily? Yeah what a coincidence! Beauty standards differ from person to person but MC fits all of it? Sure! he is an otherworldly beauty! it seems a bit Gary Stue, and it makes light of how hard people work in that industry to get a foot hold in it.

Sixth, the system thing gives an excuse to the ML, and I actually can get behind it. What I don't get is why the MC willingly gets close to the ML... He (ML) isn't at fault (objectively speaking), but it would be natural to blame him (ML) from MC's POV. So, then again, I can say MC lacks common sense, or is a very forgiving person.

Seventh, there is no suspense or any sense of excitement to keep you reading after you get through the half point of the novel.

Finally and most importantly, I don't get the MC's reaction after being liberated from the system's control, you were desperately in need of social interaction, I would go out and make friends immediately were I in his shoes and it would have helped with his depression, it is not like he isn't aware he can make friends now because the system literally tells him he is free to do what he wants. And I don't get why the system didn't intervene when the ML (protagonist of the world MC got into) met with the MC, didn't the original story change? The whole point of imprisoning the MC was to keep the plot from going awry, yet the system didn't interfere when a 'connon fodder' became the 'protagonist''s love interest? Is the story over? Does it even matter if the 'plot' changed? What was the point of isolating the MC then?

It's not a bad story if you read it, I definitely have read worse. If you want to read a story about someone going through a hard time and recovering, I guess you can read it. But this just isn't for me.

Sorry for my bad English; it isn't my first language. And sorry if the review is bad; it is my first ever one. <<less
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Majin11
Majin11 rated it
July 6, 2023
Status: Completed
I have a kinda love hate reaction eiththis novel.. you see, I read it just because I saw it in the site of Chrysanthemum garden.. I didn't read the synopsis, the tags, or any kind of warning before I drowned myself in it. Amazing site as always and Amazig translator Twin Fish. Thank you very much.

... more>>
Spoiler

MC had a very bad case of depression.. it was so bad to the point that he almost killed himself.. and that was the point where I felt uncomfortable.. it wasn't like because it was gore or anything. It was heartbreaking.. but it also seemed like I was looking at myself while reading.. and I couldn't help compairing.. MC had his mom, his dad, his bro and his lover to accompany and help him through the ordeal.. while I was severely lacking in any type of help..

When MC just broke down and cried without reason, I remembered all the time I had to hide and cry on my own.. I felt envious.. not the first time tho.

But I really regret reading and finishing this in my current state of mind...

It's really miserable tho.. it's true when they say, you'll never know how pitiful you were until you have a point for comparison.

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KatarinaCitcat
KatarinaCitcat rated it
June 8, 2023
Status: c130
I wasn’t going to write a review because there were already so many for this novel, but I loved it so much I just had to share.

I originally didn’t want to pick up this novel because I thought it was another carefree, easy showbiz nothing-to-success novel, but boy was I wrong. It’s not a novel with an overall depressive tone, but it sure wasn’t as playful as the synopsis made it sound. The main focus of this novel is not romance nor showbiz, but MC’s emotions.

This novel hits a bit... more>> closer to home then others. Although depression isn’t the same for everyone, MC’s actions were so similar to one of my friends it made me cry. One of my favorite scenes of all time was at the end of the novel when he was healing,
Spoiler

and he got a chibi tattoo of his lover crying over his wrist scar so if he ever picked up the knife again, he would see him crying and wouldn’t do it.

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Recovering from depression isn’t an easy path. It’s the small scenes MC has with ML, his agent and assistant, and family that really make this novel beautiful.

I highly recommend to at least give this novel a shot, see if you like it. <<less
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Katielicious
Katielicious
March 7, 2023
Status: --
I don't know how to rate this story. Reading this put me into a very unhealthy, negative mindset.

I strongly felt the pain & depression of the MC, & understood his indifference to living. Just like him, I had complex emotions towards the ml; the ml's hurtful 2yr silence during their marriage & subsequent divorce was all just part of a plot after all. So we weren't really allowed to blame ML & experience catharsis.

I just felt very bitter & depressed that mc's life in this novel revolved around the ML... more>> that so controlled mc's mental wellbeing.

I'm done and I still don't know whether this was incredibly toxic or healing. <<less
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someonesaveme
someonesaveme rated it
January 22, 2023
Status: c77
I regret it. I should have wait until its completed. No haters but this is my cup of tea.

# entertainment genre

# out of the world beauty

# coaxing man

# long chapters with very good translation

Some chapters may be depressing but it gave color to the story and make me look forward to the next chapters.

Thank you for this wonderful novel.
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Lilfox
Lilfox rated it
November 2, 2022
Status: --
Personally I don't like the Mc's supposed depression it honestly all seems pretty convenient to me. The MC after being virtually invisible for 2 years his first reaction when he's finally visible doesn't seem anywhere near what someone's real reaction would be like. Even if he had disassociation he should've snapped out of it when he realized he can interact with people. Also his messages being left on the phone is just another convenient plot. Why didn't anything he wrote stay written? But everything he sent still was there? Honestly... more>> it just seems forced. How can a man he never even knew become what he depends on for 2 years!!! Especially since he knew he would divorce eventually. The plot after going in the entertainment circle was again full of plot holes. The MC supposedly built a high alcohol tolerance and yet we see him become drunk just a few chapters later after stating this. Nothing the MC did seemed like something someone would do after being stuck alone for 2 years. I'm very disgusted by the power dynamic created in this novel. The MC only ends up with the ML because of plot hole stock syndrome and weak mentality. Why did the MC become suicidal way after he's free? Why didn't he try to kill himself right after he got a divorce? Nothing is adding up. It's again just a plot hole to make the MC and ML get together. Not to mention joining the entertainment industry just to treat a cats illness? Like you can't be serious. He could've done so much stuff during the 2 years and he chose to learn to do nothing then he gets free and somehow decides to join the one place the ML is when he has NO ACTING EXPERIENCE!!! Like a 100% complete novice is getting acting roles which again doesn't make any sense. He should've just kept being a model which would've made far more sense than being an actor. I just can't see how you guys are getting a cute story from this all I see is someone taking advantage of someone else's mental health to almost literally force his way into the MCs life. The MC at one point thought about telling his agent not to put him in places with the ML yet again conveniently he chose not to. The ML only liked the MC because he was beautiful if the MC didn't have 90% of the worlds beauty would he still like him? He constantly refers to him like he's his boyfriend when he doesn't even know if he likes men it's like he's so sure that he has the MC in the bag already that's it's pretty creepy plus the MC is already stated to be divorced and he doesn't know at the time that it's him why is he trying to press a relationship on someone who may not be ready? The ML even states at one time that he's basically learned how to read people and he knows the MC doesn't like him then why did he keep following him around?Over all the story is getting a one star from me I understand many people excuse many plot holes and toxic actions because it's a story but when logically thought about this relationship doesn't feel cute at all. The author should've had a ML who wasn't the ex husband of the MC come and help him heal while showing the ex husbands regret. Having the ex husband become the ML makes the story pretty unappetizing. <<less
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Xiu_er
Xiu_er rated it
September 18, 2022
Status: Completed
Rating: 4.4/5

Reading this was a bit difficult for me as it felt like someone was holding a mirror up for me. A lot of the issues Gu Qingchi (MC) delt with I deal with myself. It made me question my mental health while sympathizing with Gu Qingchi.

Yet maybe because I see so many of my own traits in him that I had to consciously hold myself back from disliking him a little bit. His passive detached nature and lack of visible emotions on the surface made him seem more like... more>> a living dead or a puppet which was both annoying and enlightening for me. But taking myself out of the equation, Gu Qingchi was actually a really thought out character. His character development was very believable. I liked how his depression wasn't magically cured from one day to the other. He had to actively put in effort along with a lot of support from his loved ones to actually improve.

Xie Luyu, our ML, was also a memorable character. Unlike most MLs he is much more lively and even has an explosive temper along with a sharp tongue opposed to the stereotypical cold-faced and cool-headed ML stereotype. He is very caring, motherly almost and is very self aware. He has a good heart. Any wrongdoing he did towards the MC was not his intention and just the result of his conflict with his parents and his stubbornness not to get involved with them and anything that has to do with them. Xie Luyu also saw a good amount of character development as he grew from an impulsive immature young man to a remorseful, calmer and caring man who has done a lot of self reflection.

So characterization is good. World building is fine, too. However, there are a few stylistic choices that I am not that much of a fan of.

One being how often and exaggeratedly the author writes about Gu Qingchi's beauty. I can't count how many times people stopped and stared at the MC or how many times the author spent several paragraphs dedicated to praising the MC's looks alone.

Then there are the sudden cut scenes, whether they switch between locations and people or skips time. Most of the time they are so sudden and unexpected that they are almost jarring as they disrupt the reading flow. Several times I found myself wondering whether someone did a poor job copy pasting the source text and skipped paragraphs while doing so. And to be honest, I am still not sure whether that wasn't the case.

Either way, MTL didn't make it easier for me. But at least it was still readable.

The overall plot was good and I found myself crying on more than one occasion which I deem a good thing. However, I would suggest that those who suffer from depression and who are easily triggered by mentions of self-harm and suic*de to exert caution. This novel might not be for you if this applies to you. <<less
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erialolita
erialolita
May 25, 2022
Status: c117
I won't rate it because I skipped a lot and this kind of angst isn't my type of angst. I didn't know there would be ... more>>
Spoiler

a serious su*cide attempt

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Not sure this was "real" as others have said, I've dealt with severe depression with a immediate family member and it wasn't like this but I know everyone is different.

I also don't completely hate the ML like others, sure he was a selfish jerk but he was written that way and wasn't in control until the 2 years of the book past. If anyone is to blame for the MCs isolation, it would be the system for sure.

I MTL'd it and some parts didn't make sense or wasn't as heavy in the feels as they probably should be because of MTL, so if you can, wait until all the translation is out. <<less
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Shortk
Shortk
June 27, 2021
Status: c33
Ok maybe it's bc I'm reading the mtl, but my God stop with the constant cat metaphors for MC. It's like am I reading about a person or cat who got divorced like please.

I'm sad because I suspect this good premise is being mediocrely done bc the writing soooooo tell vs. Show. It's ok to have a exposition for a whole chapter if it actually illuminates something new. But using it as a device to constantly give cat metaphors or etc to explain the MC's or ML's behavior/feelings is lazy... more>> writing. I feel like I'm being talked down to like I'm dumb. Just show me and I would love your story omg. Just show me insttteeeaaadddd I beg u.

It's not so bad but it's a real shame - maybe that's why it bothers me more. This has a super interesting premise to an otherwise basic entertainment bl genre.

Fine I'll be honest, I'm being picky bc I ship him with his agent ;-;

Spoiler

Ok wild idea, but don't you think the MC's attachment to the idea of the ML is only due to 2 years of stockholm syndrome? It probably changes later anyway but no wonder the pursual is so hard to digest in the beginning.

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Shorng
Shorng rated it
May 3, 2021
Status: Completed
Yes, it's a 5/5 stars. This story touch on depression really deeply and how people around him help healing his wounded heart. As I'm going through this myself and wish for something like a family to understand, this story at least satisfied a tiny bit of my soul. It has executed this aspect so well and MC's family are so loving that I would read this again after more updates. Also, the father and son relationship was well written that I would cry everytime. I love this one despite how... more>> sad it made me cry. I love it. <<less
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knjr
knjr rated it
August 9, 2023
Status: c52
I WANT to be a fan of this, but I'm bored to tears. There are good things and moments, but my summary of every event is as follows: good god, the male lead is SO ATTRACTIVE! Rules are broken, professionalism doesn't exist, preferences bend, no obstacle will ever stand in the way! Half of any given chapter will be discussing just how out of this world attractive op is!

I feel like MC is so close to being a really interesting character, but nothing matters, nothing ever matters other than wow,... more>> that dude sure is attractive. <<less
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JackieS
JackieS rated it
July 29, 2023
Status: --
The best part of this novel is the fantastic translation.

I dropped it at c86 as got annoyed by always repetitive text, brainless netizens and how time went differently for different people. Why was it so important to mention XL’s haircut? According to the author, he got it from his previous film. Then he was idle for few months. Then he filmed the commercial movie (several months again) that was aired for several months, then we to Xilin festival after several months, and yet his hair didn’t grow an inch/cm. There... more>> were too many occasions where the time didn’t add up <<less
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