for example the son, the mother is the one who raised not the one who born so I can understand why he wasn't close to her since he was raised by others.

There is few face slapping but there's emotions and interest conflicts.

MC isn't a revenge-hungry one but she didn't just forget about her last life. I like the emotional conflict she has between her past and new self and how she keeps sane, examine her own mistakes and try to take the right decisions.

Trying to control her son's marriage is bad but what can you say, that's how things worked in past. Well, even now for some people I know and it always ends with trouble.

I also like the ML although some might feel that he is useless but I like how hard he try to keep the people he loves safe and happy. The relationship between a daughter in-law and mother in-law is really difficult to keep in balance not to mention other difficulties and hardships in life.

This is best shown when the He is seriously angered by his son, who had exploited his mother's and grandmother's love to forcibly marry the FL. The son's actions leads to the death of one of the guards left to him by his grandfather. Paraphrasing it he said that " What disaster of beauty? It is clearly incompetence, immaturity and being unable to be responsible for others!" AKA his son messes up horribly and it is not solely the FL. He is angered because the guard was a young unmarried man that had grown up with his grandfather and now has to be buried by his parents. A pain he knows that his mother went through when his brother was buried. It also alarms him because he kept reassuring his wife that the son would not abandon his family for beauty and he is proven in this situation to be wrong

He is the hope of his family and the most exceptional however despite being closer to his mother ;because he has only has smooth sailing and being told he is exceptional. He has a spoilt mentality that only negatively shows when he attempts to get together with the FL. The incident mentioned with his father lead him to be banished to a bandit ravaged land and it took him losing soldiers he had trained himself, and almost losing his life, to realise how catastrophically he had destroyed his family's trust in him. He tried to rush his assignment to get together with FL. The discussion he has with one of the remaining guards from his grandfather is paraphased here

ML: the family wailing over the dead soldiers don't they hate me

Guard: No, each man at the area accepts that he may die in defense of their home.

This discussion forces a spoilt kid to start taking his responsibilities seriously. However, it takes a long. Time. For him to finally become a responsible man. His father keeps repeated testing him by sending news of the FL to determine if his obsession has resolved and if he has the maturity to take care of his family.

The novel shows what happens when you are overly indulgent (FL's family) when raising a child along with when someone has the mindset that you can just harm anyone willy nilly (FL's dad)

marriage of the eldest son

this is not a rant. This is kind of an admiration section to some degree or just a discussion section. Because I want to talk about how the eldest son disappointed me when he did that sh*t as a teenager. And I think that just shows how good the writing is.

Because we grew up with the eldest son and it was written so well, I was so shocked to some degree of how he seemed to change when he started to actively pursue ZG. I don't know why but I felt my feelings were very similar to how the MC felt towards her son at this time and I just found that to be amazing. That the writing could do that to me. Because I saw how the eldest son grew up and I had great expectations just like the MC that because he grew up in such a loving family this time, because the MC tried to instill the concept of a capable wife this time, because of all of these things and how I saw the eldest son interact and love his family... I just did not see this coming in some way. Not that I didn't see the plot moving that way but I felt disappointed to the eldest son that he was such a brat. But the thing is I never felt like he was written out of character which is so strange because he acted so out of character. And I think that's due to the writing. I think this is the first time I've ever seen such delicately and well-written portrayal of what it is to be like a rich, high status, good-looking, extremely privileged, yet well raised in a educational and family background sense teenage boy in ancient China.

It wasn't done with any 2dness.

The entire time the eldest son was pursuing zg As a teenager and did some crazy ass underhanded shit, I just was thinking why is he doing this & not that what he was doing was out of character. Like this is the son that so many people carefully raised and educated and he should know all of these good moral things so why is he doing this? It never felt mad at the writing but I felt genuinely disappointed by this character because of the good writing. And it was only due to the son's father's words, our amazing ML, that he helps me realize why is it that the eldest son is like this and why do I not feel like it's out of character for him.

And the father hit it on the nose. He said it is not the fact that the other girl is a disaster, but the fact that our son lacks responsibility. I said that in earlier spoiler and I'm going to explain it now. It means that that despite the fact the writing never explicitly wrote that the eldest son was privileged and was extremely well-liked and praised and therefore something... It was all implied and I could understand why now.

The father later says that his son has bad habits and explained it generally to the readers: He's been spoiled on his life even though the eldest son has worked really hard since childhood because he doesn't know where his family power comes from with his own eyes aka war and sacrifice. He's been praised all his life, so even if the writing never explicitly said that he has pride, it makes so much sense that of course he has pride. So of course he feels privileged. So of course he did that little bit*h sh*t he did when he saw a girl he liked and a guy who was competing against him. So the Father says it's because he couldn't stand his territory being threatened and he lacks awareness and responsibility for his family clan which is so true and the thing is yeah you could pick that up but I just have so much respect for the author who did not explicitly write that but when the father finally says that in his mind and aka to the readers, it just comes together so well and I'm like oh that's why I never thought he was out of character even though what he did was so disappointing to read.

seeing his growth, the eldest son, going from a child to a disappointing teenager to a growing in pain but learning in responsibility as an adult is very rewarding. This is also why it's frustrating that in the extras when he finally gets happily married to somebody else, we don't get to see how his marriage goes and that is just so frustrating because this has been an issue for like half of the novel only in the sense that he doesn't know how to get over that hurdle. It's not like the eldest son is to holding on to the other girl because he is matured at this point in the novel but this has been an issue for everyone in this novel that who is he going to marry? And when we finally answer that question the novel just ends and gives us past life extras. In fact when he gets married that is still an extra it's not even a part of the book. So that is so frustrating and that is why I didn't give it five stars.

But overall I'm very grateful for the writing for allowing me to feel the same way as the MC and her mother-in-law did towards her eldest son. I mean that is just incredible writing. And that goes to show for every single character in this book. Theory are not just one version. And I'm grateful for the father for seeing bullsh*t as it was and calling out misogyny even in his own family and seeing his privileged son for what he was and pretty much snipping the bud.

It also made me feel better in a way because I was also conflicted on why do I feel against the OG FL even though I do not blame her for being beautiful and being liked by other men. Because it's not really her fault for being beautiful and desirable. But at the same time it showed to me that she's very selfish and overall she just didn't have enough consideration for how her actions may affect other people. So even though I do not blame her for these things, she never has the thoughtfulness to consider what she can do and if I am the reason why this stuff is happening to me right?

If you can say I'm beautiful and so what it's not my fault you shouldn't do this to me, but also see that people are suffering around me for it, then I'm going to make a plan or do something to make sure The people around me know it's not okay for them to think that way of me or treat me this way because I'm beautiful.

I don't know it's a very I feel like delicate topic because I still don't blame her for being beautiful but I can't say she's innocent even though she is... Because she never thinks about how to prevent things from happening even though it's not technically her problem to solve, but if it's causing issues for everyone around her and if people are dying or being hurt because of her maybe she should have some concept of what to do? But she doesn't? I don't know this is another part where I'm like I really agree with the father's standpoint that she is not a disaster, but I'm like what would solve this issue (?) other than just obviously having an open-minded society... Which I mean she didn't really try to pursue to have anyways bc she didn't have any awareness of herself. There are other different faults of the OG FL that don't include her appearance so I'm not just necessarily talking about her, I just appreciate that the author allowed me to even think about this that deeply.

Ofc we both know if you finish reading and which you should have if you're reading the spoiler, that she was really selfish and really dumb by allowing herself to get kidnapped so that makes everything mute points about her appearance being disastrous because she's just has a disastrous personality as well lol. But I was just talking about why is it that I couldn't accept her either in the beginning. I mean the MC has good reasons for not being able to accept her, but yeah I just had deep thoughts about why is it that I also emotionally can't accept her and am I being misogynistic by being doing that lol.

That just is good writing. Honestly this book is a masterpiece if it weren't for the fact that I didn't like that I couldn't see more of the eldest son's marriage and his possible future

children ah makes me mad.

Single-minded but very human in how she struggles with trauma, learns, and grows

who is a dark guard/ secret spy for the emperor who died young in their 1st life due to his job

way too many drama events happen to her and everyone else is fed up with it. Shes a useless damsel in distress. Not nessisarily evil, but quite selfish and entitled. She makes no effort to help anyone and is super chill with the death of her husbands sister and the exile of his mother. Not an active villian, but unpleasant if you think too much about how little she cares about anything other than her romance

who fully betrays his clan and does a series of black-belly tricks to get his way- aka marrying the OGFL. Singlminded lovebrain and willing to lie to his clan & let soldiers die to enact his plans. Very typical romance CEO behavior, except its really troubling if you are anyone but the OGFL amd look too closely. It takes 2 to tango. Mothers death in the first life was more his fault than the OGFL

• stops spoiling her son and focuses on her neglected daughter
• doesnt let her mother-in-law give away her son to her sister in law
• gives her husband a chance
• takes controllnof her finaces and becomes finacially independent
• adopts a boy who she recognized as a young man who took care of her in her last life
• prevents the early death of her husband
• prevents the early death of her daughter
• prevents the marriage of the OGFL to her son

• is closer to his mother in this life as a child, but still estranged
• still falls in love with OGFL and competes in violent love triangle drama
• manipulates family by faking injury, gets his soldiers killed, plays long con so the family will invite OGFL to be his wife when they so clearly hate her and want nothing to do with her
• gets ABSOLUTELY OWNED by his spy dad who slaps him in in the face with his own conspiracy and sends him to boot camp to work the two faced romance brain out of him
• learns a thing about politics and family history at boot camp & realizes he was wrong to think with just his lower brain
• makes military achievements
• chooses his family over OGFL after she reveals she has memories of their past life. His reaction to the revelation: calls her crazy and states that only a beast would marry a relative of his sisters mu*derer and send his mother to die alone in banishment (exactly what he did in 1st life)

In ancient, people usually blame the misfortune of others on beautiful women, but in fact, they never thought that person is innocent.

I thought the original heroine was a white lotus bit*h but it turned out not, she's just a weak woman. Although I dislike people who only know how to cry but not to the point I hate it. The MC is a traditional woman and cares too much about her son, she wants him to marry who was fit for her son's status. Knowing that the original female protagonist only has beauty but lacks skills and background so she opposes their relationship. Yep, the MC is your typical evil mother-in-law.

She's not a perfect mother or mother-in-law alright especially if you're born in this era. I understand that, but honestly, although I like this story I still dislike on how she's prejudiced against the original female protagonist. Is it because the original female protagonist is too beautiful and lacks some skills? A trouble-magnet?

If it's me if a person's character is not bad and they love each other, why oppose it? Why hinder someone else happiness? That is their own decision and even if you are a mother, you have no right to restrict their freedom to choose whom they want to be with. (Despite saying this, I know that this is ancient times and it's natural for elders to arrange the marriage of their youngster and have so much expectation but even so! I still don't agree but what can I do? This is not modern!) Just let them be, if one day they will regret the decision they made, then let them be, there's no medicine for their regret.

Besides, it's not the original female protagonist who is at fault for why she's always getting into trouble, if the MC has to blame someone then she could only blame her son and his love rival. Their method to fight each other is really ruthless that they implicate other people's lives (I'm talking about the guard or soldier) !

Anyway, if someone gonna ask me who I like in this story, I guess the mc's husband. He is more likable than the MC. I don't even get why some people dislike him, he may look useless but in actuality, he is a smart, capable person and a great husband and a father. He was right when he said that he is the one who will accompany the MC till death so the MC shouldn't think too much about who her son will marry, but unfortunately, the MC seems to only listen to what her husband said but never put it in her heart. My second favorite character is their third child, Xiang Ge Er. He is sooo adorable!

Okay, back to the MC....
She still did not want her son to be with the OFP, so the MC and her mother-in-law always arrange for a girl for her son which end up becoming a failure (I wouldn't even be surprised if she knew her niece is in love with her son again just like in her past life, she probably will not hesitate to match them and I thank god she only found out about after her niece married to someone else) ! She seems to haven't yet fully learned from her past just like what the other reviewer said.

One of the problems in this story is, because of her love and hatred for her son because of her past life, she did not make an effort to change him as she did to her daughter who was too arrogant and doesn't know what is right and wrong (Btw, I also include the other character). Is it because her son is already ten years old and it's hard to teach? I don't think so.

*sigh* I really do feel sad for the OFP.

As I keep reading this novel, I felt like the MC may not be aware but she unconsciously takes revenge on her son and the OFP.