If I Can’t Be Your Wife

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I married him because of a one-night mistake.

“I’ll give you the position of Duchess. But nothing more.”

At first, I was relieved by the cold eyes, but as time passed, my expectations grew.

Thinking about it now, it was a vain hope that one day he will look back at me.

“Are you coming back today?”
“Why are you curious about that?”

Duke Walten looked at Kathleen with expressionless eyes.

“Do you want me to come back and be by your side?”
“… Yes, I wish you would.”

At her brave words, he laughed out loud. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer and whispered.

“Then, like a contract marriage, give birth to an heir first.”

Knowing that she couldn’t…
Kathleen couldn’t contain her tears and pushed him away.
He turned around expressionlessly, even as he saw her tear-soaked face. She looked at her husband and thought.

‘If I can’t really be your wife,
Then I really have to leave now.’

Associated Names
One entry per line
당신의 아내가 될 수 없다면
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
I Will Disappear, Grand Duke (1)
My Husband Will Regret This (1)
Never Saved You (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Failed to Escape
  2. Badass Female Lead(to me anyway)
  3. Romance Fantasy 5
  4. Angsty
  5. KR Romance

Latest Release

Date Group Release
07/28/22 RainOfSnow c109
07/28/22 RainOfSnow c108
07/20/22 RainOfSnow c107
07/18/22 RainOfSnow c106
07/13/22 RainOfSnow c105
07/13/22 RainOfSnow c104
07/03/22 RainOfSnow c103
06/29/22 RainOfSnow c102
06/25/22 RainOfSnow c101
06/25/22 RainOfSnow c100
06/14/22 RainOfSnow c99
06/14/22 RainOfSnow c98
06/11/22 RainOfSnow c97
06/04/22 RainOfSnow c96
05/29/22 RainOfSnow c95
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21 Reviews sorted by


ragingmisandrist
ragingmisandrist rated it
January 7, 2022
Status: --
I just wish romance authors like this would confess

" I actually really hate women"

before the beginning of their novel so I know not to read their misogynistic drivel.

... more>> People who write and or read this type of garbage just love women trauma. That's it. They get off on women's pain and the fact that the man gets rewarded (by getting back the woman) because he experienced a few seconds of basic empathy.

I will never understand why.

Honestly it's not even a real romance novel since by definition it should have a happy ending. Victims being forced into returning to their abusive relationship is NOT a happy ending.

It's just sad. <<less
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rinisica
rinisica rated it
January 16, 2022
Status: c33
i never write reviews but this novel made me so angry I had to write one. ML is complete tr*sh, poor FL. I don’t understand how she fell in love with him when he’s literally the biggest scumbag to her. Had to drop the novel because the way ML treats the FL literally made me so angry
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mg534
mg534 rated it
December 18, 2021
Status: --
honestly speaking this novel is just meh like there's nothing really unique about it, it's just like that other novels with the typical weak and love blinded female lead and the bastard male lead that regrets later after the female lead leaves him

tbh i´m still having a hard time figuring out what made the FL love the ML ? Bacuse not even once did the ML treat her good, well maybe she is just a masochistic... more>>
Spoiler

not like the typical cliche that "He WaS tHe OnLy GoOd MeMoRy FrOm her SaD cHiLdHoOd, or He WaS tHe FiRsT pErSoN to To EvEr tReAt HeR gOoD, since before meeting him, she already had a nice friend so it's not like she never expirienced kindess so WHY'???

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i wish just for once the FL will not end up with this piece of tr*sh and instead find another man who can treat her and love her wholeheartly, or just end up alone and chossing herself but of course I know this won't probably happened

but still am I going to drop it ? Not sure but i'll probaly read it when I don't have anything to do, so yeah i'll continue reading cause I mean it's not the best but it's kinda decent and honestly I'm just waitinig for the part when the male lead regrets and how he is going to suffer, I really hope his regret arc will not just 10 chapter cause I extremely HATE when authors do this, when the amount of regret is less than the sufering they made to the female leads and they easily get the fls back, like please I reallly want him to suffer and struggled to get her back, just this way i'll hate him less, nah i'll still hate him but maybe it will be satisfaying to read his sufering

but if it gets to overwhelming i'll drop it so

i'll put it 3 stars not bad nor good just meh <<less
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MonsterDuke
MonsterDuke rated it
July 21, 2022
Status: Completed
As the few readers asked, I have COMPLETED Reading the novel and came to review this novel.

Spoilers ahead!

Honestly this is the worst novel I have ever read, I have so many points to ask to the author

... more>> 1) the terms of the contract were ridiculous, the author says that the male lead doesn't cares about his reputation and all but why did he force her to attend the social gatherings?

2) I feel male lead is really s*upid, he knew that empress bullied her and okay let's believe for a second that they might have "staged" according to his doubts. Can the whole social society stage it? Is it possible for EVERYONE to bully her and stage that? At this point I am seriously shocked that this man actually survived from the empress on the subject of not having a common sense.

3) in the second half of the novel after she came back from running away, I'm actually speechless that when she was attacked by assassins she didn't had any shadow knight or escort and not to mention the magic stones that male lead that put on her so that her Magic ability would be disabled and she wouldn't escape came back to hurt her more.

4) seriously.....I know making Peter the emperor is the good thing and making a woman Emperor is something good to see in a novel but seriously.... the male lead should have just taken the throne because I don't see Peter having any more power compared to the male lead and we are back to square one.

4) Korean authors should just stop, stop bringing children. I mean it's clearly visible that the leads are being tied up in that relationship coz of that child

5) in the end male lead giving up his life and leaving his child behind didn't impress me, even though he left the will that doesn't erases the fact that he chooses to leave the child than protecting the child. If he had instead chose to live for his child and be a good father I would have forgiven him on the spot but he didn't and chose to give up his life.

6) ik this a historical fantasy novel so the position of the women would be not good as compared to the women in modern era but what I want to see is a character development and progress to a open minded world, the ending was abrupt and I personally didn't feel anything like character development as such.

7) also I didn't understand the reason of FL falling in love with the ML in the first place, if a person is cold to me 99 times and just 1 time good (that to he just rebuked the maids who were back b*tching about her, nothing so great) I wouldn't be so moved by it, considering that I was abused by my family and all, rather I would be vary of such kindness

People who love this novel need Jesus.

I burnt my eyes reading the main story, I ain't reading the side stories.

A big thank you for the translator for completing this novel! Loads of love to you!!!! <<less
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Ophelia_Hecate
Ophelia_Hecate rated it
March 24, 2022
Status: --
I can never understand the so-called romance coming from a man groveling just because he was inconvenienced by the FL's departure. How is this cute or something dreamy? You're better off reading the spoilers than wasting your time by reading this novel.
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trinketbestboi
trinketbestboi rated it
September 16, 2022
Status: Completed
Yes, this novel includes the "Terrible ML receives a second chance which results in the FL inevitably going back to him" trope. If you dislike that, then yes, you will hate this for that's exactly what this novel is. With that being said, I believe it's s*upid to judge a novel based purely on the trope it embodies, so this review going forward will be written under the assumption you like that trope and came here because of that.

The TLDR of this, however, is that even if you enjoy that... more>> trope, this novel has a TON of technical issues that undermine it's ability to utilize the trope effectively. Translation is top tier, RainOfSnow as always delivering quality work so no issues there. This is purely based on the content itself.

I'll go point by point.

[1] The setup.

Spoiler

What even is this set up? For a while there, I sincerely thought I was the idiot because none of it made a single lick of sense to me. The ML, hereby known as Alexis, is the illegitimate son of the Emperor who is hated by the current reigning Empress because of the threat he poses to her son's (the Crown Prince) reign. Alexis hates his half-brother (who turns out to be his half-sister, but that's neither here nor there), hates the Empress, and is on the extreme defense when it comes to anyone he suspects of being on her side.

Because of the Empress, he suffers from the effects of a drug that strip him of his emotions, the effects of which can only be warded off with a certain kind of flower. His coldheartedness towards the FL, hereby known as Kathleen, is largely attributed to this.

With that in mind, this is how the story actually starts.

Kathleen, after being ousted from her home, becomes a kitchen maid for the pedophilic Duke whose eye she catches. Her friend, Emily, gets killed trying to protect her and through wonders, Kathleen manages to turn back time to before Emily's death. Determined to stop her friend from dying, Kathleen goes to save Alexis, the original heir to this position, to prevent his death and allow him to succeed the title instead.

Doing so results in Alexis becoming a massive horn-dog for Kathleen and they end up sleeping together. Honestly, the dub-con is seriously questionable because Kathleen was stated as "allowing it" because she "understood his feelings" but that was from Alexis' perspective and Kathleen seemed pretty shaken after the fact, but regardless.

Kathleen runs away but to no avail because Alexis discovers her identity shortly thereafter and forces her to become his wife for reasons that still feel like long stretches to me:

1.) He suspects her of being an agent for the Empress (even though she saved his life??) and wants to keep her by his side so that he can monitor her (even though there are way easier ways to do that besides marrying her??)

2.) He does not wish to have children and a Duchess with whom he cannot have children is ideal. But this point of order is SO STRANGE because he threatened her into marriage before he knew she was barren and could just as easily find another woman to fit the bill and just not sleep with her.

The whole lead up to them actually getting married makes no amount of sense to me. Suspend your disbelief with this one because I really don't get it. The fact that he still has so many doubts about her despite seeing her get berated by the Empress is so strange. I guess he still doubts her because she's close with his brother/sister but that just paints him like an idiot rather than a cunning man who served on the battlefield considering he's never able to properly look at all angles; instead choosing to run recklessly forward with his surface level assumptions.

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[2] The Chemistry and the Leads

Spoiler

The leads quite honestly have NO chemistry. I don't get why they love each other nor do I really see what is likable about them that would endear them into love with one another. Since we're walking in with the understanding that they'd going to end up together irregardless of the bad they've gone through, then you'd think we'd at least be given reasons as to why they're choosing each other again.

The moment where Alexis realizes Kathleen's love for him was true and that he loved her in return falls super flat. It didn't feel earned, in fact nothing in this novel really does. It's like watching dolls interact with one another; romance for the sake of romance; without any of the character building to make it feel worthwhile.

Neither of them have strong enough characters to actually carry the story, but I'd argue that Alexis has a stronger character than Kathleen does. I struggled to feel sympathy for her, not because what she went through wasn't terrible or because I felt like she deserved it, but because it's easier having sympathy for a tree being cut down. Her character is so weak that I just feel nothing towards her. It's like kicking a pebble down the road, I'm not going to feel sorry for a rock.

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[3] The Child

Spoiler

Building off the last point, their child, Luci, is pointless. He's only a infant which means he obviously isn't going to have much character in the story, but my god, he only exists to give Alexis a reason to impede on Kathleen's life. The way he clung to Alexis, a stranger, over going to his own mother is the weakest and laziest way to give Alexis a reason to stick around, not to mention it makes blatantly no sense.

You cannot sense blood ties. Blood ties are meaningless. I hate it when novels use any iteration of "oh, the child can sense they're related". No, they can't. Infants cry like the dickens when they're separated from what is familiar to them, so Luci choosing to stay with Alexis over wanting to return to his own mother just to force a bond between Alexis and Luci is unbelievably lazy writing.

There was a scene where Alexis decides to include Luci's name on the list of those who would be spared the Empress' purge, and it was supposed to be this magical moment where Alexis thinks back on the child and feels some kind of emotion for him, but it didn't feel earned at all. The connection was so forced by the narrative to give Alexis a form of humanity beyond Kathleen that it didn't feel genuine in the slightest.

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This novel requires a LOT of rule bending to enjoy. If you really good at just shutting off your brain and accepting everything EXACTLY how it is, then this could be a fun story: a second chance romance that includes the cold heartless man earning a soft spot for his son and rediscovering his love for his wife.

But you cannot, and I really mean you cannot try to read inbetween the lines because then you'll realize there's nothing there. This novel is mediocre at best, questionable at medium, and "this is total nonsense" at worst. <<less
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November27
November27 rated it
March 6, 2022
Status: c68
I’m really disappointed on this readers why the hell are u all writing reviews when u haven’t even read half of the story ! Please I beg read at least 60+ chapters before writing a review!

As for me, I like this novel! If u are looking for a novel where u want cold ML suffering and begging the FL this is it! And there this cute baby of them like from 30+ chap.

... more>>
Spoiler

she leaves him pretty early like 20 + chap. So ML suffering starts earlier which is a good reason to give this a try, and I must say I really love their child luci !! And there’s this great secret about crown prince !

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it’s really difficult to guess what may happen next in the story

so this is worth reading

and the translation *chef kiss love u translator <<less
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jjustreading
jjustreading rated it
June 7, 2022
Status: --
Try reading all the chapters before you make a review.

There's angst and all bad feelings here, but it's very well written. The male lead is tr*shy, yes, but there was a reasonable explanation. Of course, his actions are morally unacceptable and I do not condone it, but I did understand. FL is amazing for expressing her feelings and leaving him. The ML, of course, needs to grovel and repent for his actions.

Anyway, people here didn't even read past half of the chapters and put on reviews like they have read... more>> everything. The tragic past tag ain't there for no reason. It's given that there will be something tragic in the story. I get that readers are peeved, but I don't get why you put on a bad review for an unlovable character that is essential for a plot. A tragic plot. <<less
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Chronossama
Chronossama rated it
February 18, 2023
Status: c97
I’ve got a couple of axes to grind before this story even becomes remotely acceptable to me.
... more>>
Spoiler

Axe number: she says his life and when he asks her why, instead of giving a genuine answer she lies. She tells such a contemptuous lie I can’t even blame the guy for misunderstanding her and being suspicious. You tell me you’re a good digger and you think I’m not gonna treat you like one, get out. +Let it be noted she started the relationship on lies first

axe number two: she has a kid, runs off for three years and then lies to husband’s face and says it’s another man’s. If he was as heartless as her father just that would have gotten her head lopped off. But because he loves her he’s willing to tolerate the child of another man. Hats off to simp king.

axe number three: she boohoos and cries about him locking up her powers with the stones. Not even gonna mention the thoughtful reason why he’s actually doing the sh*t, this idiot FML doesn’t even remember all the times she tried to ditch him with said powers. So what if he contained your powers, it’s less about disgust and more because you’ve proven yourself to be a flight risk. What he was just supposed to trust you to stay when every giving moment you keep ranting about some priest, mind you said priest you claim is the real baby daddy of said child. Get outta here!

axe number four: fML manages to be gone for a whole year without her child. She’d selfishly rather off a cliff and possibly die than be with main lead and her child. I guess her personal freedom is worth more than her child, go figure. She was already proud to deprive him of a father so there’s that.

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all in all female main lead was so unlike-able I hated her guts and skipped ahead multiple times. Main lead had legit reason to act the way he did and at least his action made sense in most cases. He’s dealing with an abusive stepmother, naive younger sibling clinging too closely to his wife, an unknown priest who is also clinging too closely to his wife, a crippling sickness that limits his understanding of emotions, political maneuvers, and war.

FML’s ability to jump to conclusions is truly ground breaking. She decides all things by herself, far be it she ever plainly speaks to her husband about sh*t. <<less
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stephhiny
stephhiny rated it
June 13, 2022
Status: c88
4/5. Its not perfect and can be frustrating to read sometimes, but its actually quite good if you keep on reading it.

The early chapters are a bit frustrating to read as they're still telling the stories about the harsh life of FL is experiencing and how ML tr*shy acts are contributing for the bad days. BUT. Yeah you have to keep reading it to find out that the ML was also trapped in a tragic situation all his life that is resulting to the tragic outcome and why he did... more>> what he did. Somehow I could say it was understandable and at one point, actually my heart also starting to ache for his feelings : (

Spoiler

I know being sick can not justify what the ML did to FL. But when I think about it over again, I guess he never directly intended to hurt FL and by seeing his actions after he's starting to get cured and realized what he did....... idk maybe I just can feel the ML's emotions and how he deeply his regrets are, and how he's really going to change and is trying hard for the FL that at some point my heart starting to feel his ache too :") I guess reading the later chapter also got me a bit frustrated with all the lacks of communications between the couple that resulting in me writing this review here now ;A;

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Spoiler

edit: Reaching almost chapter 100 now and I promise its getting better and better now. still recommend! :)

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Mayar
Mayar rated it
January 5, 2022
Status: --
I really like this novel. I want to give my thanks for the translation, really thank you. Most of the novels that I read can get boring down the line and they start mentioning their life and how they are managing their title and new role such as a new duchess or crown princess and you don't find much romance or even the other characters around. And the romance will begin because the ML will see how competent the FL is. It's fine for a few chapters but sometimes they... more>> elongate it and it starts getting frustrating waiting for the ML and FL to just meet again ughh. Anyway, in this Novel it's the opposite, until chp 33 I am satisfied with enough counters with the ML and FL, it really focuses on their relationship. Something I actually like is how the FL actually goes and confort the ML, like I feel she did her best with him and she told him her true feelings. U mostly see the opposite the FL is the one hiding things but here it's the ML who is hiding secrets and he is suspicious of her without even asking her, like she doesn't even know what goes through his brain. The only thing I am mad about is why she didn't leave earlier why did she wait around, so sad. <<less
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hanssss
hanssss rated it
December 20, 2022
Status: c95
if you into 'Cold ML who became pathetic and beg to FL who shut ½ her brain because she suffer from stockholm syndrome', then you'll like this

... more>>
Spoiler

The author just used Trope of 'numb to emotion' for ML to become jerk, cold, and indefferent to FL because he cannot feel love, but forget that he HATE the Empress, or he TRUST the butler&aide. Heck he even buy a lot of women clothes for FL when he still believe she are empress spy. Like, what?

and that just the ML alone, the FL, the Empress, even the prophecy are don't make sense

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so yeah, this just story about doll who can speak rather than story between human being <<less
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Jjaeniau
Jjaeniau rated it
January 16, 2022
Status: --
i enjoyed reading this so far hope for it's completion ... more>>
Spoiler

MC thought ML was cheating on her, she heard them inside a hut where ML was groaning and a woman was moaning, but actually that woman was a pharmacist who was only treating ML's wounds and the the woman is also getting hurt in the process (she even had scratches lmao that why she was moaning because of pain lmao) ML has this posin in his blood I think that needs to be treated, but I think MC could treat him coz she's a fairy? Ice queen ahaha

hope this gets translated soon.

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Iuningning
Iuningning rated it
September 18, 2023
Status: c109
I really appreciate the translators so my rating was based solely on the story. I think this story has one of the most unbearable MCs I have read so far. Both the male and female MCs are just so unlikeable. I was trying not to pull my hair out at how annoying they are especially in the later half of the story.
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hikachin
hikachin rated it
February 9, 2023
Status: c54
Not going to comment abt the ML bc there's already a lot of reviews arguing about it.

I'm not sure of continuing this but I'm thinking of dropping it due to the amount of plot holes it has🤡🤡🤡

... more>>
Spoiler

1. Definitely the going back to time at the start. Tbh, 54 chapters in and it wasn't mentioned again after 3 times. It's something that you'd think even the author forgot they put as a beginning plot, it's just that that plot device was so irrelevant to the way the story was going that you could actually avoid killing MC off and having her go back in time to avoid her death. 💀💀 This whole part felt so forced honestly. I mean granted, it did make her end up in another hole which was sleep with the Duke but there definitely were better ways to have her sleep with the duke than that way bc it just felt so off💀💀, like falling in a hole and getting out of it only to fall into a deeper hole type of off.

2. The aristocrat in disguise as a maid. Don't even get me started with this one💀 I don't blame ML for thinking MC as a spy because it's too much of a coincidence to have a maid sleep with him just so happens to be a count's daughter. I felt like there was a better way to approach this, either having MC as a maid/commoner or an actual illegitimate child (was she an illegitimate child? I dont remember)

3. Then we have the empress, whom im sure lacks the appropriate brain cells. If she knew that the reason for the natural calamities was due to the prophecy of the kingdom needing 2 royal biologically MALE heirs ALIVE with 3 of them including: 1 dying emperor (her husband), 1 crown prince that is actually female which she forced to act as a dude to get the throne (her child WHICH technically doesn't count seeing as the cp isn't biologically a male), AND the duke WHOM SHE TRIED TO KILL MULTIPLE TIMES, why did she still follow through her assassination attempts towards the duke/ML even after knowing that the whole kingdom would be destroyed after killing him? Dmb mf.

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Actually, after writing that all down, I have finally decided to stop and drop this😌😌 hence ill be giving this 3/10 (2/5 bc im feeling gracious) <<less
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mafezapata
mafezapata rated it
October 9, 2022
Status: c109
For me, it's a really good story. Even if it can be frustrating, like, just talk please.

Also, I don't know if is my toxic taste in men, or the suffering an redemption arc, but I liked Alex, much more than the FL and much much more than the second ML.

Yes, ML is tr*sh for like half of the book, but gosh... The way he suffers, poor Alex.

The FL came across as dumb or naive at the beginning, but she has a very good background and makes her actions an thoughts... more>> more understandable, in my opinion.

In general, the story has a good pase, good character development and a HE, so all good for me. <<less
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Melojae_47
Melojae_47
March 9, 2022
Status: --
Tbh before writing a review it's better to read all the chapters. Of course basic storyline is quite common. ML character is arrogant and cold hearted, FL is seems to be naive. But the improvement of each character through the chapters is visible. There's a reason for ML's cold heartedness and it will be found in the later chapters. I hope this story line will flow smoothly with acceptable climaxes or plot twists.
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estoejia
estoejia rated it
December 28, 2023
Status: --
By the end, everyone s**ked. Biggest plot twist for me is that I actually ended up disliking the FL marginally more than the ML which is saying a lot considering the type of hot garbage the ML is. Author really tried to erase abuse and maltreatment with some sorry self-sacrificing bs act from the ML. Gimme a break! Not even their eye-roll inducing corny reunion after the ML's failed self-imposed su*cide mission could save them as a redeemable couple.
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SanaSans10 rated it
October 24, 2023
Status: c73
To be perfectly honest after chapter 73 I started skipping chapters because the story became stalled. I do have to say that the ML has a good character evolution that I found through the writing was well justified. But I do have to say that the character evolution of the FL was quite confusing I still don't know know how I feel about that. The story over all was fairly interesting and we'll written. The translator gave notes which I did much appreciate when reading. The story is frustrating because... more>> of the miscommunication, but is well justified in the sense that when you are coming front trauma and distrust and haven't have a clue of mental health that is how people naturally behave. That is why I gave the story a 4/5 rating. <<less
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elijahavery
elijahavery
October 24, 2023
Status: c93
Ugh need to drop it because how uncomfortable I feel when FL and ML become together. ML already had his redemption arc and still suffer till near the ending. But FL didn't get any and they act like all the conflict between them are because of ML when it's not.
... more>>
Spoiler

At first I dislike the ML but keep reading because I like this kind of drama. But then, the pacing became worse at the middle and FL turned out to be the most annoying character in this story. So I read only to see what the ending will be. But I was already too tiredd with FL so I droppedd it.

Many plot holes and things that doesn't make sense. I usually don't really care about this but the misunderstandings are also part of it. It's very frustating because I can't ignore how strange it became.

Well if you have enough time to waste your time, go read it. The translator do really goodjob. They are the reason why I enjoy reading it.

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