Can’t Be Left Behind

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In the second year of our parents’ divorce, I ran away with my Ge.

Originally, Mum took Ge with her and threw me to Dad.

Now, my household registration record only has two pages. The head of the household is my Ge, and the other page is mine.

Associated Names
One entry per line
CBLB
La Bu Xia
LBX
落不下
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
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Love Delusion (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Male Yandere List ^^
  2. To read 2
  3. danmei yandere ML
  4. TBR BL that i believe hold the potential to make i...
  5. The Pain

Latest Release

Date Group Release
12/01/21 chen translates extra 2
12/01/21 chen translates extra 1
12/01/21 chen translates c41
12/01/21 chen translates c40
12/01/21 chen translates c39
12/01/21 chen translates c38
12/01/21 chen translates c37
12/01/21 chen translates c36
12/01/21 chen translates c35
12/01/21 chen translates c34
12/01/21 chen translates c33
12/01/21 chen translates c32
11/29/21 chen translates c31
11/27/21 chen translates c30
11/25/21 chen translates c29
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72 Reviews sorted by


witheredroses
witheredroses rated it
September 30, 2021
Status: Completed
I'm not usually a fan of in*est danmei, but this novel is an exception.

You Sa has masterfully written these two characters and their pure, undying need for each other. They cannot live without each other; they are connected, right down to the blood. It's a crazy love mixed with desperation, devotion, thrill and struggle. It's sick, but in the most beautiful way. The best kind of p*rn-with-plot.

Firstly, Duan Yan makes for a very complex and interesting MC. In his world, aside from his Ge, everyone else is irrelevant. He appears... more>> to be a brat, but later as his childhood is revealed, it becomes clearer why he is the way he is, and why he is so attached to his Ge. As he said, "when other people break up, they can still find someone new, but when I break up, I become an orphan." Duan Yan is actually very endearing, especially in the little things he does for his Ge. He's just so precious T_T my heart hurts every time I think about everything he has had to endure... *sigh* he deserved so much better. That's not to say he isn't a little crazy though... ahem

Next, Duan Rui, the ML or Duan Yan's older brother. On the outside, Duan Rui appears to be someone very successful. He's strong and reliable, a true CEO. But deep down inside, he's scared. He's scared that he's not good enough to Duan Yan, he's scared that Duan Yan, being a kid, will eventually leave him and move on. He worked nonstop not for himself but for Duan Yan, to be able to give Duan Yan more.

Spoiler

He promised that once he (DR) turned eighteen he would come and take Duan Yan so they could run away together. But on Duan Rui's eighteenth birthday, he didn't go find Duan Yan. Duan Yan thought he had been abandoned, but the truth was that Duan Rui had gotten an apartment for them already, it was just that the apartment was too small and shabby and he thought it wasn't good enough for Duan Yan.

[collapse]

Duan Rui really cares very deeply for Duan Yan, so much so that he can't leave him behind.

The two of them are basically made for each other. They'd risk their lives for each other. It's unconditional love, truly. I don't know how to explain the beauty of their relationship, but believe me when I say this novel is 100% worth reading. When I first started reading it the writing did put me off slightly because of how... straightforward it was, but it turned out to be an excellent choice because of how raw this story is. Nothing is sugarcoated. There are so many hard-hitting lines in this novel that make the story incredibly emotional. You Sa's writing is perfect, through and through.

I highly recommend this novel. Read it to the end and you'll see how beautiful and touching this story is, even if you're not that into the in*est genre. It's not one of the most popular ortho BLs in China for nothing! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. :) <<less
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Neleothesze
Neleothesze rated it
March 28, 2022
Status: Completed
All those tags above? Mind them!

And there should be a Dead Dove: Do Not Eat in there as well. It's unapologeticaly sick. Twisted. Heart-wrenching. Tittilating. Disturbing. Disgusting. Captivating. Satisfying. - Yep, all of the above.

The protagonists are sick in the head. Oh, because of the in*est? No, because of the mental, physical, and emotional abuse they happily inflict upon each-other and others around them. However, I disagree with some of the other reviewers. It doesn't romanticise r*pe, or abuse. It simply doesn't condemn them. Displays the degeneracy of humanity like... more>> a particularly tragic Russian novel and leaves it up to the reader to draw their own moral conclusions. (Father Duan, mother Duan, the siblings, the doctor, everyone has a color palette of flaws painted on their skin for everyone to see)

This story will test your moral bottom line. And if you manage to stick with it, it will test it again, and again, till the very end. The unexpectedly happy end.

I can't recommend it. But I read it all. It's worth those 5 stars; and if I stumble upon it in the future, I'll read it again. <<less
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FrostyDragon
FrostyDragon rated it
January 2, 2022
Status: Completed
Check the tags before reading! This short novel has some very heavy themes, not just in*est but also child abuse, BSDM, s*xual abuse, violent characters, abusive parents. It's a dark romance between two broken, twisted characters.

First of all, the writing is what makes this story shine. It hooked me in right from the beginning. Yes, the MC is not a nice person and his violent tendencies are shown already in chapter 1. If that's too much for you, stop reading because it only gets more uncomfortable afterwards.

Also it... more>> will be hard for you to skip the smut, since it's in every second or third chapter. The smut is very well-written, but it's in*est, so again, read at your own caution.

The relationship between the MC and ML is very interesting - it's definitely not what I would call healthy (even without the blood relation), since a lot of it is one or both of the characters venting their frustrations and fears through very rough s*x. They inflict physical pain on each other. Yet it's also understandable and in my opinion forgivable why they act the way they do. They are both severely damaged by their childhood. The MC had it worst, but it's subtly shown that even the ML didn't get any real love from his parents, he was just a trophy and a cash machine. The only way the ML could get any love and affection was when taking care of his younger brother.

Under those circumstances it's entirely realistic that the close relationship between brothers turn s*xual and romantic. They have only ever had each other to rely on.

The parents are absolute tr*sh. The dad is horrible, but somehow the mom is worse.

Spoiler

She actively allows the MC to be beaten regularly by his father, then mentally abuses him by claiming she picked him up from a tr*sh bin, claiming that he's mentally ill (she's constantly telling a child that he's crazy and therefore worthless - seriously worst mom ever), and abandons him after the divorce for no good reason expect that she can't use him as a cash machine like his older brother. I really wanted something bad to happen to her, she should have gone to prison like the good-for-nothing dad.

I hated the younger half-brother in the beginning, but in the end, he turns out to be a pitiful character. His parents are terrible people incapable of love, and unlike his two half-siblings he doesn't have anyone to care for him.

[collapse]

The MC is a fascinating narrator. I wouldn't call him unreliable, since he seems to have some pretty clear thoughts about his surroundings, his terrible relatives, and the fact that his feelings for his brother are considered abnormal by society. He's a bit insecure about his brother's feelings, which is understandable since his Ge isn't very open about it. It's unclear whether he is actually mentally ill like his mother claims. I think not, while he has suicidal thoughts, violent tendencies and severe anger issues, none of this is in itself mental illness, and he's obviously functional enough to make friends (the 'brothers' he plays basketball with and the girl in his class) and go to school. He gets violent with his Ge as a way of venting his more extreme emotions, but their relationship consists of mutually causing physical harm to each other as a way of letting off steam when they get upset. Part of this is also about showing their lover their absolute worst side to test if the other person will love them no matter what. It's not healthy, but it's a display of trust, and these two boys have never had a chance to learn about normal interactions or healthy relationships.

Spoiler

The MC has sadistic tendencies, which he acts out during s*x, first with Shi Chen, then with his brother.

Shi Chen seems to be into it to some extent, since he's briefly the MC's f*ck buddy until the MC and ML get together.

The ML has even stronger sadistic tendencies, to the point where he sometimes have problems holding himself back. It's not healthy, but the MC bears with it out of love and because he instinctively feels that it's a way for his brother to vent his anxieties and that hurting and later comforting his lover ties into his complex feelings for the MC.

[collapse]

The ML is an equally complicated character. He's forced to care for his younger brother since an early age, having to tolerate the MC's tantrums

Spoiler

which are understandable considering how the MC sees through his parents' greed and hypocrisy towards his Ge from a young age, and is also subjected to abuse from both parents.

[collapse]

Having someone to care for means he grows up to be responsible, and it also gives his life meaning, since everything he does is to provide for his abused sibling. He's just as dependent of the MC as the MC is of him.

Spoiler

He seems to have fallen in love fairly early, but hid it from the MC and only acted on his desires when it became clear that the MC was sexually interested in him and out of jealousy when the MC has a fling with Shi Chen.

He uses the relationship and s*x to let go of his image of the 'perfect CEO'-type and release the darker sides of his personality, but he still keeps the extent of his feelings hidden for a long time, likely out of fear of manipulating his brother and because he's scared that it's just a phase to the MC and he will eventually move on as he goes to university.

[collapse]

Despite this being a very dark romance, it's an interesting psychological portrayal of two damaged people who can only find solace and acceptance with each other, and eventually it's becomes wholesome and sweet in a weird, twisted way.

Definitely not for the faint at heart, but for the readers who can stomach these kinds of stories, it's definitely worth a read. <<less
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ricoerrr
ricoerrr rated it
December 2, 2021
Status: Completed
characters:

mc: duan yan

ml: duan rui

i inhaled his novel in one sitting and I dont regret it one bit. it was an absolute treat, and I recommend it wholeheartely for people who arent put off by in*est.

summary: ... more>>
Spoiler

MC and ML are biological brothers. ML raised MC when he was young after their parents divorced. at first, they lacked money and lived in poverty. ML worked hard to climb the ranks at work to make a living for him and his brother, but in the process also harming his body. MC and ML deal with the fallout of their parent's messy divorce, having to hide from their abusive father and shrewd mother, both trying to extort money from ml. thankfully, in the end MC and ML were able to put their father behind bars, and completely sever ties with their mother (and her new family). they move into a new city; ML starts a new job and MC continues his schooling in a more forgiving environment.

[collapse]

thoughts

this whole story is in first person, which I once thought id never read in a million years, but the story managed to hold me in an iron grip the whole time. it just.. a trainwreck, but also a very beautiful trainwreck. duan yan and duan rui truly depended on each other during the toughest times of their lives. they loved each other and never looked back. duan rui had at times questioned himself and whether he was responsible for misguiding duan yan, but no matter how much guilt he feels, he never left duan yan. duan yan on the other hand, fell in love and his love is absolutely explosive. literally the only thing that matters to him is his ge, the world revolves around his ge, the obsession is real. and duan yan, with his ever-indulging personality, lets it happen with open arms.

the cars were very very very hot. god bless the author. that being said, they both have violent tendencies so their s*x is riddled with abuse, especially at the start. duan yan likes to point at his ge and accuse him of having sad*st tendencies, but really, he isnt any better. during times of stress, theyve both tried to hurt each other. duan yan even tried to drown his ge when he was so upset that duan rui tried to get him therapy for his mental illness. they also tend to resort to verbal abuse, especially during s*x. they both know each others sore spots awfully well, so its not the type that's simply just dirty talk, but these words were meant to inflict pain. its sick, its perverse, it's difficult to read, but im loving it so so much.

the lovely thing is that these conflicts dont tend to last long. the not-so-lovely thing is that these conflicts tend to be brushed aside with s*x and not words nor actions. and so everything builds up and becomes a thorn on their side for most of the story. it certainly doesnt help how duan yan had episodes of suicidal ideation, and a couple of times he tried to act on them. he's really had a really tough life so far... and you can tell that, at times, it's only his gege's love that's keeping him going. but! take those moments where he was at his lowest point in contrast to near the end of the story where they both turn a new leaf, its touching to see how much he's healed when he says "But now I'm sure that I won't do that [su*cide] anymore, because for love to exist, there must first be life."

Spoiler

the sweetest part of the novel was when duan yan wrote about his ge during the formal essay, where the prompt was 'a mother's love'. how for all his life, familial love was provided by his ge. he was raised by his ge, the process wasnt easy, nor was it perfect, but what matters was that his ge never gave up on him, and gave him the reason to live and enjoy life.

[collapse]
<<less
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MilkTEA
MilkTEA rated it
November 5, 2021
Status: --
What I particularly like about this novel is that they're both degenerates. They've both fallen real deep and they accept it and acknowledge it. If this had been a story of a one-sided obsessive love I don't think this novel would have as good reviews as it does now. The tags are pretty hardcore but for what it is, it works for this novel and it's themes.

I saw a reviewer talking about the MC being a piece of shit. I mean they're not entirely wrong but you have to remember... more>> that from the beginning chapters you can infer that the MC has been through violent child abuse by his father. Whereas the ML got lucky going with the mother and only having to face pressure to marry. The MC is also only still in highschool. His behaviours and mentality is not going to be normal after experiencing all that trauma. (Btw I am in no way defending his actions but I do want to give abit of insight on what contributed to his twisted views).

In my opinion I think the author did a great job writing the characters of the brothers. You can see how twisted they're both are, more so the MC because of his upbringing and the ML's indulgence that leads to the MC continuing the stuff he does. There's also a lot of lines and phrases within the novel that shows the MC's awareness of himself, one being;

Spoiler

'At night, as long as my Ge had left me for a moment I would start having nightmares. I lost my mind when I couldn't smell him. It had been a long time since I was last separated from him; I couldn't leave him. Perhaps I had been sick from the start'

[collapse]

There was also the comment about Shi Chen, he's definitely pitiful. But in my opinion the author doesn't heavily portray him as a victim being because he knows the underlying implications of his job. It's literally hinted in chapter 1;

Spoiler

'He hummed and hawed as he explained that he had never been f*cked before, but it would happen sooner or later so every night before he went to work he would douche his rectum.'

[collapse]

He's aware what he may face in his line of job. There's even more references that hint his situation is in a pitiful state and he does have to use s*xual favours to survive, regardless on whether it was to be MC or not. I don't think his character was needed to be further expanded when the stories focus is the twisted morales of the brothers and their relationship.

This definitely won't be your cup of tea if you can't read between lines or simply hate it because of the tags. But if you prefer a darker novel I recommend. <<less
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srrrahim
srrrahim rated it
February 22, 2022
Status: --
10/5 if you love dark romance

I kinda pity the MC. I think he end up like that because his father physically abused him, his mother mentally abused him, and his brother is the only one who loved him, take care of him, and personally rised him.

MC brother is actually a pitiable character too. His mother and father take advantage of him. See him as only a money maker and trophy son. Never love him, and didn't see him as their son. The only time he looks like a human being... more>> is when he is with MC. The only one who give him love is also MC. His world only has MC, so he is actually quite possessive. He also confess to MC that he really want to lock him up and keep him to himself, but because he love MC too much, he didn't do it

Spoiler

He fall in love with MC qquite early, he even secretly bought him a couple bracelets but didn't tell MC and didn't even dare to keep his and only give MC one bracelet

[collapse]
ML is actually quite a manipulative bastard imo. He is manipulating MC to depend on him. To only can see him. To only love him. He is making himself like an air to breath for MC. Without him, MC can't life. And here MC thought that he is sick. I don't think so. He is like that because of ml. ML is the sole reason MC become that sick

MC is a violent characters. ML always indulge him, so he did whataver he want to. Never give u fck. But he didn't even dare to make ML too angry, because he is afraid that he will abandon him. He will do everything to not be abandon

This is dark romance. If you can't stomach it, don't read it. It's simple. Go read the tag first before you decide to read it

This is a beautifully written dark romance with in*est and SM characters. Go read it if you want exciting novel <<less
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ChimmyMochi
ChimmyMochi rated it
December 3, 2021
Status: Completed
Believe me when I said this is my first time reading in*est and I am amazed. I didn't know I could accept this until I read this one. There is love and angst and many complicated feelings and I got myself attached to these 2 brothers. So purely written and very heavy emotions and I really liked how it ended so damn satisfying and extra stories are really goood. These 2 brothers depend on eachother and have only eachother to give love and everything.. Story is not just smut but... more>> much more heart touching and beautiful. And yeah I think I have reread thoughts LOL.. <<less
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HitchHiker
HitchHiker rated it
October 1, 2021
Status: c6
The MC is a POS, complete and absolute tr*sh. Apparently he is in love with his brother but his behavior indicates anything but that. When his brother is struggling with pain because of a stomach ache, possibly from working hard and not eating enough when bringing him up, what does the MC do? Run around trying to ease his pain, buy him medicine, make him comfortable? No, just feed him some hot water and fantasize about violently abusing him.

The way he treats Shi Chen in Ch 6 show just how... more>> much of a POS he is.

Spoiler

First he scared Shi Chen into having s*x with him in the bathroom stall of a restaurant in return for taking the blame for spilling wine on his brother's coat. In what world is it OK to demand s*xual favors for dirtying someone's clothes? Then he finds out Shi Chen is a student in his school and proceeds to r*pe him in the school's bathroom stall.

[collapse]

All I could think of when I got there was, "Hope your brother realizes what a POS you are and kicks you out and you whine away the rest of your life never finding happiness". Unfortunately, I'm sure that's not how this is going to go. What pisses me off is the way the writer has written this as though the pitiful one in this situation is somehow the rapist and not the victim. This writer will find a way to make Shi Chen the villain and the MC out to be a tragic hero. Can't stand such writers. Not only do they have no imagination but their morality is messed up if they think poor part-timers exist for rich patrons to kick around and abuse, and see nothing wrong with it. Both the novel and the MC are just pure tr*sh.

I saw a rebuttal saying, "oh, but he is a prostitute and the MC paid". No, the novel did not say he paid but clearly says he intimidated by inflating the price of the coat. Also, irrespective of what part of his body he washed, that doesn't excuse treating service workers like sh*t nor does it excuse raping someone in school based on what he does during his part-time job. If the MC wants to f*ck, he should go to the appropriate business, pay the right price and then do it with someone whose job description is to f*ck him. Even if you r*pe a prostitute, it's r*pe. The MC is tr*sh. <<less
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suitonjutsu02
suitonjutsu02 rated it
November 27, 2021
Status: c29
This is really twisted, dark, and toxic. But it's not just a mere twisted novel without proper cause. Both brothers depend on each other. Both are the cause and effect, both are the victim and villain. They are broken. They are flawed. Thus why they need each other. In a nutshell, it's dark and twisted but in the best way
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Hippopotamus
Hippopotamus rated it
November 16, 2021
Status: --
Oh god! This is so good. Not only the R18+ thingy, but every aspect in this story is so well written that I couldn't help myself to read it more than once!
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xjgg
xjgg rated it
November 13, 2021
Status: Completed
it's a heartwrenching story. MC and ML are violent; they made love and punched each other. Definitely not a novel for everyone. They are both jaded; childhood filled with abuse and neglect messed them up and they depended on each other heavily.

forgot to add this: this is written in mc's pov (first person), but the glimpses of ML that can be seen through mc's musing were enough to make me love ML too aaaa
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KatLyn97
KatLyn97 rated it
October 13, 2021
Status: --
The story is brilliant. The author gave life to the two protagonist. I did not expect to love it the way I do now. I freakin love the plot and the characters. Man. Thank you translator.
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Arborescens
Arborescens rated it
April 28, 2022
Status: Completed
Oddly enough I enjoyed this novel.... yes the in*est thing is odd and yes the beggining is very- hmmm.... but honestly, as the story goes you can see the reason.... MC and ml, they are a very 3d people that have their strength and weakness.... it's a believable story that honestly is intriguing. Honestly their relationship.....I don't really see a real problem with in*est because their relationship is just.... decent enough and even better than those so called 'normal' relationship

I think.... the quote "every kids deserve parents but... more>> not every parents deserves their kids" fits very well for this novel. More about this novel, you can read yourself..... warning for those that uncomfortable tho but if you're ok with it, I said give it a try and don't stop in the beggining.... or you'll missed the whole point of the novel. For me it's a 5/5 even with the in*est stuff..... it's a nice story that, I hope will never happen in real life..... not because the in*est, but because their parent is just...... yea no <<less
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mongryoong
mongryoong rated it
March 2, 2022
Status: Completed
This novel is perfectly to my liking. The characters are complex and deeply flawed. The writing is immersive and the translator did an excellent job!

You can tell from the premise alone that the characters are messed up, but as the story progresses it gives you more and more glimpses into the true depths of their instability.

... more>>
Spoiler

The part where MC tries to "turn off the buttons" on the mother and younger brother was a woah moment for me. The mother kept saying he's mentally ill, but in*est and tendency towards sadism aside, that was the moment it really cl**ked for me. Another standout point for me was how the mother always focuses on the MC having a mental illness while ignoring the fact that the ML also has one (probably because of the benefits she can receive from him). Also just the way you can see how the abuse of all three family members (mother, father, and ML) during the MC's formative years have shaped him into being the way he is.

[collapse]

There is a lot of smut and general violence in this story and both brothers are sadistic. They do things to each other that anyone without that deep and twisted connection wouldn't be able to endure. This is going to sound strange, but if they weren't brothers I'd hope for the MC to leave the ML and for both of them to heal one day. However, since they are brothers and so deeply entangled, you somehow wish that they do have their happy ending together.

I found the emotions and reactions to all be pretty realistically protrayed. As stated in the tag, the narrator is unreliable but his voice is part of what draws you into the story. I know these days many don't like first person narratives but I find it crucial for this story. Through his eyes you can see that the MC never really truly connects to his surroundings. The only thing that ever grounds him is the ML.

I think a story like this won't be enjoyed by everyone, but if none of the tags or reviews scare you off I highly recommend. You won't regret it. <<less
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Tanni
Tanni rated it
January 13, 2022
Status: Completed
The story is really a breath of fresh air. I love both the MC and ML as well as their chemistry, I hope those people who won't read because of prejudice could give it a chance first.
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OrangeKoi37
OrangeKoi37
December 3, 2021
Status: Completed
Because of the tags I was a bit apprehensive about reading this novel but I'm glad that I did.

The characters are twisted and dark. But not without cause. Affection blooming from dependence and watered by abuse. Abuse from others, of course. (That's also not to say that his brother never hurt him)

Is their relationship healthy? No. But they couldn't and wouldn't be able to have any other relationship. Not with eachother and not with others. They don't gloss over the issues. The good and the bad, everything is shown.

From... more>> a moral perspective, you might say it's wrong. But in life, we have a few short years to live and love. They haven't hurt anyone else, so why not? Live and let live, as I say.

The characters also show surprising growth for such a short story. Not big changes but growth nonetheless. The smut... Well, it's definitely there. It's not for the faint hearted though.

Overall, it's not a bad story. It questions the standards of society and morals. Why should what they have be stigmatized because of the blood they share? It's a different, raw perspective. The overall tone is sombre but not completely depressing.

The overall experience is of walking in a dark thunderstorm then slowly little rays of sunlight appears and they slowly, slowly keep increasing, sometimes they seem to be covered by the dark clouds but in the end they all converge to finally shine bright all around and show the bright blue sky again.

Why think so much? Just bask in the sun and let it dry away the cold rain. <<less
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mingxinxin
mingxinxin rated it
December 2, 2021
Status: extra 2
    1. At first I was just here for the smut, I wasn't ready for the trainwreck thay follows Q-Q Honestly it was a good read... with smut, fluffiness dark themed
Spoiler

MC is a psychopath and have little to no trouble with killing himself and hurting people... heck he doesn't even know he's crazy

[collapse]

The beginning might tick you off but trust the process

It was a good read
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Somavatey
Somavatey rated it
October 23, 2021
Status: c15
This novel is not for EVERYONE. Read the tags before reading. If you can't handle those tags, don't leave bad reviews. The 2 protagonists were equally sick and yandere. There were plots and the smut was hot and detailed. The author also described the reason why they became like the way they were.
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Golex9000K
Golex9000K rated it
October 22, 2021
Status: c14
It was interesting read and got me hook.

This is story is unique and I don't know how to to describe it... maybe because MC is abnormal and getting abandoned. The only one that cares for him is his brother. The vibes I got from reading is lonely and emptiness.

None of them is normal and that make them feel real to me.

S*x in this novel is hot, interesting and very detailed.

Spoiler

Using cond*m to fingerings and popper to relax before entering

[collapse]

I got uno reverse card a few time in the story.
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MagBlueRoses
MagBlueRoses rated it
January 20, 2022
Status: Completed
Getting through the book's first half, I was so ready to give this a two-star rating (a max of 2.5 if I was feeling generous). The only other book I've read of this genre was Brother, and it was impossible for me not to compare CBLB with it. But as the book went on, I was so invested in reading the protagonist's thoughts and the reasons behind his actions that I couldn't help but feel for him (hence the increase in my ratings). The book was well written and deep... more>> enough for me to indulge in it. It did touch my limits at times, but as someone who can read just about anything written, I even slightly enjoyed it here and there. This is definitely not for the weak-hearted, and I wouldn't go around voluntarily recommending people to read this, but if you are here already, you might as well give it a shot if you can stomach the genre. <<less
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