by the empress dowager. And it's incredibly sad to me that even in his reborn life, although he gains awareness of her manipulations, he still is under some of her control, which only the ML can help him get out of.

I love how the author actually considered the mental state of the ML when it came to the development of his eating disorder. This was surprisingly and painfully realistic - incredibly well-written, as someone who also suffers from a mild eating disorder.

When MC finally learned of what had happened after his death... and saw the snakes literally devour ML's body until there were just bones... I was sobbing at that point. Come on now how the f*ck is a romance story going to go this hard with the angst.

MC was honestly too crazy in the first life, I have no idea why ML was also so obsessed with him after his death to the point of basically conducting a satanic ritual of eternal pain and suffering just to see MC again LOL I mean I will always appreciate the crazy in fiction.

The MC was too simple for palace/harem life and thinks that love should be enough, and was always just impulsive and acting on his emotions. This resulted in him basically being manipulated and pushed by other parties as a result, and he never seemed to realize that those people were not on his side. He was also manipulated into self-harming, which also wasn't the best for his mental state, but he was basically just a pawn the entire time. His life honestly would have been a lot easier and better if he had ended up married to someone else instead of the emperor, because he really was not suited for that kind of manipulative environment.

The ML, on the other hand, was too calculating and distanced himself emotionally so he could be the perfect emperor. Yes, he did actually love the MC the entire time, but he didn't want to love the MC that much and it never stopped him from doing things that hurt the MC. He KNEW his actions would hurt the MC, and he did them on purpose - sometimes because it was politically necessary, sometimes because it made him look better, and sometimes just because he thought it would "temper" the MC and teach MC a lesson that would make the MC's personality more suitable to be the emperor's spouse. Which, you know, is not what you do in a relationship.

domestic abuse (mentally and physicaly on my perspective) to ML: even MC know the whole truth he still do that a little bit, blood and gore (f*ck.. ML cut his meat and blood to feed cursed/witchcraft thingie? snake? Lantern? and in the end that snake ate his whole body left only bone) aiii this one not good for my old heart, thoughts of su*cide, self-harm (ML stabbing himself to make MC happy and first time ML stab himself and MC was indiffrent makes me cry buckets) and violence (most common in ancient historical china theme which I dont mind as long it warned in tags)

both the MC and ML committed self harm and die of su*cide in the first timeline.

There are graphic descriptions of this self inflicted violence, parental abuse, and other mu*ders

Not that they don't also have rebirth timeline maiming because happens more than once.

in the original timeline the the ML tortures himself and it's like literally the Mac's ghost seeing it and being like awww sweet you are insane for me too that sparks their reconciliation

Just because someone (the ML) had good intentions when doing something, doesn't excuse the hurt that it caused the victim (the MC).

The author showed how the ML was physically abused by the Empress Dowager and how she constantly rationalized her abuse as being from her "love" for him. The ML had also peacefully endured her abuse because he attributed to his mother's love.

But the truth is, even if the empress dowager had truly loved the ML and even if her abuse helped him become the Emperor, does that excuse the pain and suffering and trauma he went through? No.

This is a mirror to the ML and MC relationship- the ML genuinely loved the MC but commited acts that had traumatized and caused immense pain to the MC. The MC, conversely, never did a single thing to torture the ML with.

Should the MC just endure the ML's neglect or emotional abuse just because the ML did not intend to hurt him or because the ML loved him? No.

Sadly, their relationship was vastly unequal from the beginning (not just emotionally, also in power the ML was the emperor), and that's the crux of the matter and why the rebirth MC would push back to harshly against the ML, which is something he had never done before.

MC and ML found out that they were both reborn and these two idiots did not bother to talk it out. Like seriously, wasn't that the perfect opportunity to lay everything out in the open? I get that ML is unbelievably bad at expressing himself while MC has closed himself off, which makes talking hard for them, but as a reader, this just got really frustrating.

Also the part about the 2 bodyguards he had with him that you find out about later. This loser is the cause of his own suffering!