After finishing reading my mind is a bit mind boggled.

This felt like a roller coaster every time MC and ML face their adversity and dealt with their emotions. There's a reason why their abuse and insecurity has caused this relationship to be very unhealthy rely on abuse to have a leash on each other. It does get better and naturally accepts what they have as they properly respect and communicate.

If you read this with an open mind (if you're ready) then you'll find it fascinating how the author wrote their... more>> emotions so vividly, concise, creatively and sympathy that they are individuals who want to love and be loved. <<less

Hopefully, this is 5 stars after I post it because I don't understand how to change rating.

No spoilers.

Alright, this novel is worth the read. After reading the tags just check it out regardless of what the negative comments say.

... more>> Two days ago, I wanted to read this novel, however, there was a negative comment that had me hesitating. I decided to bite the bullet and now I don't regret it.

The first 6 chapters are not as bad as the comment says and after you pass that you get to understand more.

Just note, this book is not for the faint hearted and the characters are crazy, just like their love. They work so well together that I feel like they can only love each other. It's messed up but a great read.

Give it a try if the tags haven't scared you off. <<less

I feel empty after reading this story. This is not an angst story that drowned me. But at some points I still shed tears 🥹

How to say it, this is really a sadistic dark story 🥹🥺
They both hurt each other, but they are both the ones who are always there for each other 🥹🥹

A very mature story, almost every chapter has scenes like that.

not dirty, because it's really part of their life 🥺🥺

Oooh I still feel weird after finishing this story. To be honest, this is short, because I almost finished it in one night..

this is one dark gem 🫶

I was absolutely not prepared to be crying this much while reading this. When I read something purely for smut, the characters and their actions don’t usually have a hold on me. Whereas this.. It took me by surprised how invested I was in their relationship and the main character’s mentality. One of the best novels I’ve ever read, I would recommend this to everyone- (if the tags weren’t so scary looking).

//

That brief-sad AU the author wrote made me collapse to the floor from grief. My mind broke for a... more>> while. <<less

What an emotional roller coaster this novel was! I loved it a lot. Although both characters are violent, possessive and codependent, but their love is actually very true and pure. They simply can't live without each other. I don't know who was the saddest of the two, was it Rui? Who had to shoulder all the stressful responsibilities to the point of developing chronic ulcers, and suffer all the guilt from loving his little, mentally ill brother? Or was it Yan? Who was abandoned, separated from the only being he... more>> ever loved, abused and beaten for years and years to the point of being scared of everything? I don't have an answer, as Xiao Yan says in the beginning of this novel, they were both equally unfortunate.

I love the translation of this novel which is really, really well done, not to mention all the translator's notes which helped me better understand certain things, especially stuff related to the Chinese culture that I wouldn't have understood otherwise. Thank you.

Also, whoever made the cover? You seriously Rock! It's beautiful. <<less

This is one of the rare novels that will deeply explore one characters insights. Duan Yan is the one character that I will never forget. So much development and the entire plot sounded realistic. Even the alternative BE sounded realistic. Thank you so much translator

Actually it was the first novel that I read till the end and now I'm literally crying cause ther is no more and I'm f*ckin done:<. IT WAS GOOOOD LIKE I REALLY REALLY LIKED IT a lot♡--->~<---♡

... more>>

Spoiler

I didn't expect happy ending more like bitter-sweet story with only r*pe and s*x. But OMG THAT WAS SO FREAKIN GOOOOOD fck I want more. Ofcours it was super duper toxic MC was abnormal and also abandoned, abused and literally fell in love with Ge who r*ped him and like emmm I had at times a big WTF IS HAPPENING ~ but still It was just perfectly f*cked up and sweet at the same time.

[collapse]

FREAKIN MASTERPIECE <<less

When I started reading this I expected something unbearably heavy with an acceptably bittersweet ending. Instead I was surprised by how good it felt to read this. While both the MC and the ML contribute to the relationship being unhealthy and toxic. The author is able to conclude their story in a way that feels very hopeful. While at times it was hard to read about the parents, I appreciate that the author was able to provide a happy ending that seemed to tie up everything and provided a future... more>> for the couple. <<less

This was FABULOUS. I came for smut mainly as it seemed intriguing but oh boy, the plot was equally good. A Good Plot + A Good Smut + Good Character Development, now this is what I call a REAL treasure. This was a Rollercoaster ride, as you would expect as the plot stems from the in*estuous relationship of Brothers but the pacing was done so flawlessly that you wouldn't be able to drop it mid chap leave your phone to do other things or else your curiosity would keep nibbling... more>> at you. The Side Characters here weren't the b*tchy type or love rival type, some were supportive too. However the real Rollercoaster starts after chap 25. Oh boy, my heart was literally in my throat, there's a lot of violence but I hope people won't hate the ML, violence is wrong but whether it's the ML or MC they're both mentally unstable especially when it comes to each other, specially the later.

MC knows he can manipulate MLs decision for him and he makes full use of it without guilt, tho he messes up a bit. Their parents are both TOP TIERED tr*sh! Especially the mother, near 28 chaps when MC had pinched her neck, my heart was besting so quickly, I could feel myself anxious and excited at the same time cuz I really REALLY hated her a lot.

This is was a bittersweet novel. The romance was indeed like what MC said in a line "If others broke up, they can still find someone else but if we broke up, I'll be a complete orphan." Lastly, it was still a pity that we didn't get to see MC f*ck ML like he wished 😂😂 <<less

I enjoyed reading this.

I suggest you read the tags carefully, and if it's ur cup of tea try reading it. Its an amazing one. Don't rate it just 'cause of it's tags.

It's been a while since I read it, so I don't remember all the details but I do remember liking it really well.

... more>> I loved both the MC and ml. This story is a messed up one, their own life is f*****up.

I remember both the MC and ML were equally sick and possesive of each other. They only had each other in their lives.

Thanks to the author for giving us an amazing story, and for the hard work done by the translators❤. <<less

Love this story. The writing is really good and both characters are complex

5/5

I even cried!

In the beginning the writing stile was kind of wired, but as you later learn, it's very fitting because of MCs mental state and character.

Be aware, it's in*est...

Their love is not always beautiful, they physically hurt each other, but it's written in a 'realistic'? kind of way.

They end up happily together! The end is beautifully done.