Cry, Even Better if you Beg

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The Herhardt household’s masterpiece.

The young owner of a heaven-like place called Arvis.

The beautiful bird slaughterer.

Matthias von Herhardt.

His perfect life- completely swallowed, crushed, and shaken-

by his lovely bird.

Leyla Lewellin.

Cut, locked, and tamed her wings.

In order to keep Leyla Lewellin in custody, Matthias did not hesitate in his actions.

Because he did not hesitate, he did not regret.

Because he did not regret, he did not reflect.

Because he did not reflect, he did not apologize.

When his beautiful bird, Leyla Lewellin, opened her cage and flew away, Matthias decided.

“If I am to lose her forever and can’t get her back, I’d rather kill her.”

Associated Names
One entry per line
Cry, or Better Yet, Beg
울어봐, 빌어도 좋고
Related Series
Bastian (Shared Universe)
Recommendations
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Recommendation Lists
  1. Alexa, play Criminal by Britney Spears
  2. fav straight yandere
  3. I wish to forget what I just read
  4. (^ v ^) : to read [complete] .6
  5. Grovel and Happy Ending (If not, at least has a sa...

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60 Reviews sorted by


syoyru
syoyru rated it
July 2, 2023
Status: c92
I dropped it a ch92. I swear I tried my best to like it and read through but I really cant. Not my cup of tea. Though I like how the ML is smart and very manipulative. Translation is also good.
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mochifluffs
mochifluffs rated it
January 1, 2023
Status: Completed
This story is for people who enjoy yandere stories with people who feel real and are not too perfect or too OP like you get in some other novels. The plot revolves around a noble yandere ML who doesn't know how to express his desire for her in a healthy way, and the FL, who's an innocent and liekable FL doing her best to deal with the craziness while dealing with being part of the lower class and not having a lot of power to fight back.

This story gets a... more>> bit dark, makes you question your morals, but even though the ML did some extremely questionable and horrible things, I found myself rooting for his redemption arc. Without spoilers, I have to say I got what I asked for and the ending was quite satisfying.

Highly recommend this story if you're tired of the overly perfect ML, and the FL who everyone falls in love with when they breathe. The author and translator both did a great job in helping make these characters feel real. So good! <<less
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maxi1111
maxi1111 rated it
December 9, 2022
Status: c170 (side story 18)
I understand it's not really everyone's cup of tea so make sure to read the tags and synopsis before you proceed. The author's writing style is just amazing!!! I'm in awe with how she wrote it like how can I borrow your brain please. I can envision Arvis from her descriptions and I cried with the FL. I felt her frustration and suffering tho I find her character to be a bit 'bland'? I like ML's character more despite him being him.

I want ML to suffer and beg and suffer... more>> some more but at the end I can't wish for him to just die and be miserable. It was a mental train wreck but it's my cup of tea. It's overflowing with emotions. It made me feel a bunch of things, maybe that's why I really like it despite their relationship being obsessive and 'toxic'.

I agree, it's one of the best I've read on this site. Mtled the rest but it gave me quite a headache. The translation is almost coming to an end so If you can wait, I suggest waiting for it to be completed. <<less
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StellaStar1
StellaStar1 rated it
November 28, 2022
Status: c146
Interesting but flawed, to put it succinctly. Beautifully translated (kudos to the translation team, they are a marvel), with some wonderful prose, especially landscape descriptions, the novel still falls short of a truly good one. Why? Hard to pinpoint, as the novel will probably grip you and make you binge it. To make it clear, this is a solid effort and pretty good in some regards. There is a pastoral, very serene feel to it at times, as the MC lives as a wood nymph, loves birds and nurses them,... more>> walks by the river often and so on. But this seemingly tranquil scenes hidden a whirlwind, intense emotional layer, but I don't think this was pulled out the proper way. IMHO, the highlight of this piece is the ML, Matthias. This novel is much less a romance and much more a character study of two people. One of them is truly interesting and you quite want to get inside his head and understand his. The other, not to much, I know there are people who think that the FL is a lovely character, and while I agree that she is a paragon of many good and positive things, I find her a bit too... Bland. Vanilla.

While not a overt Mary Sue, Leyla is still written as a "safe character", one that most people will like and without too much human flaws. She's a proper daughter, devoted to nature, loved people and great with children, all innocent and dewy. While many young women are like this, in real life each and every one of them has other character traits that make her special and unique. Lelya, not so much, She's literary like hundreds of other K-novel heroines. I repeat, she's not a Mary Sue and that is a huge bonus, but I didn't really feel anything for her. Ditto her uncle Bill, who has interesting hidden depths that were never explored properly. He's a papa bear type, but his hidden alcoholism, inability to adapt to the modern world and stubbornness were not touched upon.

But Matthias... Uf, while he really piqued my interest, I can find fault in him too. I can understand his personality make-up - perfect son of a perfect ancient family, good at anything he tried, got it all without trying too hard, was very young when he figured out that developing a fake persona will get his what he wants, and accordingly developed a seemingly bullet proof, cold, perfect, elegant persona to suit his needs. But as any student of psychology (and everyone else) knows, this never works long term, as feeling do have a nasty habit of breaking all of these shells. And the results are often catastrophic.

While this background of his is a real interest point, I could not understand how it made him such a degenerate man. While IRL anything is possible, I would prefer that I got some background in the novel. Was it because he has such a shabby grasp of his feeling? was it because he became too calculated and tried to disregard feelings completely? Was it because he became a control freak? We hear much of his thoughts, but I never quite got this.

Also the world building is thin, and a war comes out of the middle of nowhere. And the novel IMHO drags on a bit. I love a slow burn, but slow burn is not the same as dragging on and on. Also more "show don't tell" would be great.

Overall, if you want intriguing character studies, this isn't too bad. <<less
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AnimeBerry
AnimeBerry rated it
September 8, 2022
Status: --
Its a 3.5 stars for me

This novel is really intriguing. I don't quite like it but at the same time it's fascinating and I want to know what's coming next.

The ML is a real piece of work. You know those Villain protagonist stories where the MC is your usual hero character with a bad reputation? Yeah well this ML actually has the callings of a real villain. It's almost discomforting how he behaves, like he's unhinged behind that fine gentlemanly demeanor. And I like how the fiancée wasn't just given... more>> an antagonistic two dimensional character just to hate on. The characters might be nasty but they written well and they grap your interest.

This is not fluffy nor heartwarming but it's worth a try <<less
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Eishu
Eishu rated it
April 4, 2022
Status: c100
Made account simply to reviw this.

It's MASTERPIECE. Like literally bro. If u r into violent toxic spicy fiery deep dark romance THIS IS IT!!

The MC is the biggest mfkn as*hole I've seen in fiction but goddamn he is very well written. He will make u hate him nd love him at the same time.

Like for first 15 episodes I was confused so as to why was evryone in reviews badmouthing him, bcoz like he's so charming nd always smiling nd so obidient but then later it hit me sooo hard... more>> that this f*cker THE JERK. Like omg I love him honestly. What a chrctr.

The charming devilish sadistic toxic nd twisted male lead nd I love him.

FML is literally sooo pure and good nd I hate that piece of sh*t to make her life so miserable but goddamn she's smart nd resilient nd I love that about her.

Their relationship is a major red flag, like the biggest one. Toxic af, torturous af, violent af but goddamn it is super H O T.

The chemistry between them is sooo amazing like the sparks bro had me on edge all the time.

Binged this whole night nd day, have been thinking bout this for last 6 hrs.

Honestly one of the best novel I've read on this site.

Nd translation is just soooo fire literally sooo good that my expectations hv risen waaay too up lol

<<less
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Dorylulu
Dorylulu rated it
March 19, 2022
Status: c95
This was such an amazingly written novel and not not to say the translations were indeed beautiful! The author managed to capture each character's emotion well and explained in order for us readers to understand why the characters act in a certain way. Progress of the timeline was so well written that it didn't feel slow nor choppy as well as the growth of the characters were well written.

However, there were so many heart wrenching moments especially for our protoganist Leyla. Matthias, the duke was just blatantly horrible towards Leyla.

So... more>> I've read up till c95 and it seemed there were three phases of how the duke acted towards leyla: 1. Bully, 2. Started to get slightly flirtatious but still mean 3. R*pe but started simping

Spoiler

The bullying phase was just terrible for leyla. The duke would make her cry, make herself feel humiliated or sometimes even throw such hurtful insults.

Moving on to the second phase, the duke was still mean at times but he started becoming flirtatious giving her compliments, and Idk I guess he did some things that would take leyla by surprise as he was more tolerable (don't remember much). Instead of wanting to see her cry, he started wanting her attention. At this point I thought like yeah maybe he is redeemable and can overlook his past actions of bullying if he gets better

BUT NO! He knew he had the power and leverage over leyla when a certain incident happen that got one of her loved ones into trouble. So he coaxed leyla in exchange for his help, she would have to give herself to him= r*pe.

My heart really broke for her especially when she had to spend the first night with him. And the next couple weeks was hellish for her having to sleep with him every night. I couldn't help but notice she was developing depressive symptoms (Low mood, guilt, always tired, losing appetite and decreasing in weight, being tearful at times). At the same time, Matthias started showing leyla affection especially in bed, providing meals, giftings and tried to initiate conversations with her bcs at this point it's obvious he's simping for her. So this leads confusion to leyla as she initially loathes him very much but some of his actions contradicts to how she thought he was going to treat her. There were already hints that she too was falling for him (yuck ugh ew).

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Despite the many peeves of Matthias' actions towards Leyla I still continued reading because the writing and translations were splendid. I just couldn't help myself by being captivated by this novel, it's just fascinating. Leyla's emotions and actions were always congruent with how The Duke interacted and treated her. The characters written were well-developed and not shallow. I was especially intrigued with Claudine's POV (ML's fiancee). She really isn't the typical jelly B but she still could be mean at times. It really showed that despite being a woman of nobility, her only way of achieving success is to marry into a good family, and thus making her act in a certain way. Plus, I'm also curious how the author is planning to redeem Mathias though I feel like he does not deserve any forgiveness. <<less
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SointheendIamstillcrazyforthis
SointheendIamstillcrazyforthis rated it
February 7, 2022
Status: Completed
Just completed the whole story on naver and tbh I'm satisfied with it. The author really worked hard in showing that angst desperation. Lived the character development and man, I'm really in love with it. Although I was a bit flustered in the beginning but gradually the truth was uncovered behind the sadistic nature of Mathias (ml). And hopefully the scndML (Kyle) was alive by the end being a war-surgeon.I would recommend it to anybody and everybody lol, enjoy!!!!
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V.....
V..... rated it
November 25, 2021
Status: c50
I really like this novel. At first the ML is such a bad person and convince himself not to get attracted by the FL and of course should be fail miserably. I really want to see how both of the FL and ML characters to grow and how will this story twitch.
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Jiannaaaaaa
Jiannaaaaaa rated it
December 25, 2020
Status: --
When I read the synopsis, I was really tempted to read it thus I read it. Its good. Too good. But too heartbreaking. You can really feel the emotions on the story specially when the FL was treated harshly by the ML himself, or whenever someone was bullying her. Its really sad that I don't have courage to finish it. But its really a good story. Its just my heart can't take this kind of story. 💜
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ReadBhell
ReadBhell rated it
October 28, 2023
Status: Completed
read this novel after seeing the drawings of the manwha, which is very beautiful, I was intrigued by the story just by seeing the manwha, the story is good, of course as long as you don't look for drama, if so, run away, Why is there a lot of drama, ... more>>
Spoiler

I read many saying how cruel Matías is and how "poor" Leyla is, for me they are both guilty, both equally toxic and bad in the head. I'll start by saying that not all of Layla's suffering is Matías' fault, he was just bothering her, she could ignore him, and the moment she saw that the jokes were escalating, she told her uncle, but no, he was so worried about not hurting her. To his uncle silent, that was the first mistake, the second was wanting to marry Kyle, when I saw Kyle in the manwha I thought he was the Ml, but then it was Matías, I had a good impression of him, until I read the manwha, Kyle is very immature, just as selfish as Matías, of course not cruel, but selfish, deep down he knew that Layla didn't love him but he insisted, insisted and insisted, which helped break Layla little by little, it must have give the FL her space, not apply more drama, even more so when she saw that her family did not seem entirely happy, just as Kyle's father said, it was Kyle's and the father's fault that the mother did those things for not drinking Taking into account his feelings, Kyle knew how hurt Layla was, so knowing that, he should never have crossed the line, because unlike Matías, he was not willing to go to any lengths for her, now for me the culprit of the separation of Kyleand Layla was Kyle's mother, even if Matías had told the truth to the police, that did not change the fact that my mother hated Layla, that lady was worse than Matías's grandmother and mother, well moving on to Layla She is a very naive girl, it seemed strange to me that when she meets ML again she gets distracted which leads to her falling off her bicycle, for someone who made you fear and feel helpless the first thing you would do would be to run away from there, but she stays, and that was the beginning of everything, since she was little, Layla was always enthralled by Matías's beauty, but she felt so inferior that everything Matías did made her feel how small she was in the world, and This gets worse when she grows up, throughout the novel they mention that Layla is proud, and this is very true, Layla could have put a stop to Matías, avoided so much pain if she had been more honest with herself, she is caught up in wanting to be a better person for herself. Uncle and her only friend Kyle, she was willing to sacrifice her freedom, throughout the novel they mention Leyla's freedom as if getting away from the duke would provide her with this freedom, but it is not like that, living for another is not freedom, Layla always deceived herself, In my opinion, by saying that she wanted to go back to the old days, nothing is static in life, and even without Matías's intervention, as time went by she was still going to hurt Kyle or even worse, hate him, or feel bad for her. Every time she looked at her uncle, Matías was her demon, but also her savior, she was able to place all her hatred in him, along with her tears because doing so was easy, but at the same time she hated to change because doing so would mean leaving that cage that She called it happiness, this is clear when she runs away with her uncle, she wanted so much to be free and to be happy with her uncle, but she starved herself to death. Is that being happy? Now Duke Matías, raised as the perfect duke, never knew affection, not maternal, paternal or even grandmother, the mother because she was very much from the nobility did not raise Matías very closely, adding to that that she did not give him affection, A child like that grew up and it is obvious that when he falls in love he is going to do everything wrong, neither Matías nor Layla knew that they had fallen in love, even when he forces her to sleep with him, she enjoyed it, was that being forced? She knew it, and that's why she despised herself, from then on I knew that Layla needed a psychologist just like Matías, it's not good to be very good in this life, Layla was not a saint, she didn't owe an apology to anyone, not even her fiancée. Matías, because at the end of the day the one who pressured her was Matías and the one who looked for her was Matías, but not Layla got depressed and apologized, she wanted to make everyone happy, she never gave others the option to decide, in this novel They are all very bad, it is worth highlighting Claudine, for me she was the character who had everything, and the one who lost the most important thing, with her there was no drama of any kind, Riette adored her, but she lost him and just when she realized, and then get married, in the end the only thing that matters is being the noblest, when Claudine is older I imagine she will regret it

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aroneda
aroneda rated it
April 18, 2022
Status: c104
I created an account for the sake of giving a review. Well I don't agree with Arcellion. Well, I love this novel so much!! I've read the raw translation and indeed I found that the translator added some scenes but I think it adds to the details and feelings that the character want to convey in the context of the story. This novel really focuses on developing feelings, the intrigue is not much different from isekai novels etc. If you read the raw, and follow the original structure it's very... more>> bland when translated (I used MTL) you can't get the feeling, maybe if you understand Korean you get that "feel", but when you change it to English the nuance disappears. I mean, sometimes Korean novels are MTL readable with good grammar, but they all have the same 'pattern'. Well, after all, this is a fan translation, as long as the context of the story is the same, and the feel and tension are conveyed, for me it doesn't matter.

<<less
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Manhwa fan
Manhwa fan rated it
February 22, 2022
Status: Completed
I like this novel It has been a good read I actually already read this novel in March 2021 so I forgot to post my thoughts of the novel.

... more>>
Spoiler

von Herhardt the Male Lead is the type of person who is possessive towards Leyla the Female Lead. He is kinda of ]a jerk because he is not a gentle person that he technically r*ped Leyla. He is forcing himself towards her.

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Spoiler

Serves him right because when she escaped from him he is very devestated and kind of heart broken in a sense. He definitely deserves that kind of punishment for treating her like an a**hole.

[collapse]

The novel I think in my opinion gives a message that having a crush on someone and becoming very possessive can have a bad impact on someone's life. This can lead into a heartbreak when person you are possessive with left you and you don't know where that person is can affect the mental health because the person has immersed their self in someone they are infatuated.

Another I think is that in a society where there is a hierarchy, obligation to your family like getting betrothed to another person in you class is kind of tough. They don't have emotions to one another nor love the thing the woman is after a high status for example the position of Duchess. In terms of hierarchy if the noble likes a commoner and wants to marry is very tough cause of status. The commoner is not well accepted into a noble family because of how it discriminates rank as you know commoners don't have influence in society and are not sometimes rich. The noble who is the head of the family have the authority to marry the person based on whatever circumstances.

The good example is Matthias, Leyla and Claudine. <<less
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Bia567
Bia567 rated it
February 22, 2024
Status: undefined
*Perniciosius* means destructive in Latin. That's what this novel is. And not in a bad way, far from it, but it makes you think about this world and especially how far someone is capable of going because they love someone.

It's a work of dark romance ☠️☠️, it's good to remember that because reading is not for everyone.

But this dark burden of the novel is already predicted from the title to the synopsis, in its presentation the story already makes it very clear that it will be a distorted romance, a... more>> dysfunctional relationship ☠️☠️.

So I believe it makes no sense to complain that ML is toxic when the intention of the novel is precisely that. If you don't understand that this is in an era (class system, women after their husbands, men who have total control in relationships, etc) and even ML is as it was said in some parts of the story "distorted", don't read. Because it is obvious that the author's intention was never to create that relationship that is a "typical bed of roses of love".

I'm saying this because I see many reviews that give negative stars to the novel just because they complain about ML's attitudes being toxic, when in my opinion there's no point in complaining about this if it's already explicit in the book's presentation that the novel is toxic, and there are alerts in the tags, If despite knowing this, you venture to read, then the responsibility is entirely yours.

The story has a poetic background, which I found really beautiful, ML is a character who literally takes you to heaven and hell... it was incredible to follow his development and maturation, of course neither he nor the female protagonist are perfect and amen for that, there were moments when I wanted to hit them, but in the end it was all worth it.

The fact that they are not perfect, that they make mistakes for me is a positive point, because in my opinion this makes them much more human. Matthias and Leyla are complex and genuine, making it impossible not to become emotionally involved in their journey.

ML is that cold and powerful guy who has always had a perfect life. A model student. An honorable colonel. A duke admired by all, a successful businessman, Matthias's achievements eclipsed those of others, but if you erase all these achievements, his life would seem full of loneliness and emptiness.

A subtle difference between it and the second ML is precisely this. While Kyle always lived his choices, his lifestyle, Matthias only lived what was expected of him. It's as if ML was a lifeless wax doll, and when he starts to desire the protagonist as a woman, he finds himself a hostage to feelings that he himself doesn't understand. In my opinion, Matthias' feelings for Leyla begin with a very strong s*xual desire for her, but then evolve into a romantic feeling, however, along the way Leyla does not respond to him, then he begins to absorb a crazy and sick obsession with her.

I can't say it was beautiful, honestly their love is not the kind of love we see in everyday life or what we see in romance movies, and that's exactly what I liked most, their love is perniciosius (destructive). For me it was very exciting to follow, especially ML who learns to love in a healthy way.

There is *Stockholm Syndrome*, but considering the type of romance, it is impossible not to have it, because the girl will fall in love precisely with the cruel villain toxic, the guy she shouldn't fall in love with, so it is impossible to escape from that, especially because the protagonist couple already is evident in the synopsis.

As I said, this story is not for everyone, personally I think it's unfair to give negative evaluations just because of ML's toxic attitudes, considering that the dark weight of this novel is already clear in the presentation of the work, and there are warnings in the tags, this This type of story is part of a very common genre on the market today.

So my advice is, if you don't like this genre of romance, which has toxicity, ML as an anti-hero and obsessive, but especially if you are a highly influenceable young person, who will find this type of relationship to be your life goal and who has not yet built healthy romantic relationship patterns in your own mind, DON'T READ! This story was not made for you!

Now, if you like ML anti-heroes, obsessive psychopaths and are mature enough to separate reality from fiction, then enjoy reading because this is a masterpiece.

Cry, even better if you beg. It is exceptional work and exceeds all expectations. <<less
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Felicia_18
Felicia_18 rated it
November 10, 2023
Status: Completed
All I can say is, I love Mathias but I don't why, or I might just too guilty to acknowledge that I fall to his obsessive love, nevertheless, I still love him HAHAHA
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sadduck
sadduck rated it
October 24, 2023
Status: Completed
Start reading because the one who draws for the webtoon is my favorite artist! Been loving their works since winter woods so I'm curious what this story is going to be.

And I really couldn't imagine how they'll gonna execute Matthias and 18+ scene on that platform tbh.

Ok thats enough talks about webtoon. Now let's talk about the story. Matthias is your usual rich, handsome, cold-hearted ML that don't know how feeling works, and he have everything in this world. Leyla is your usual sunshine, bright, loving, out-of-this-world beau FL that... more>> have nothing. None. No family. No money. And the world keep stealing whatever she had. Totally different world, totally your cliche romance. In short
Spoiler

two people from different world fall at the first sight but ignored their feeling because of their difference then end up hurting each other before finally accepting the said feelings.

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The thing is, ML's coldness felt so real. Like in real life, you might find this type of people who thinks so logical, they do get everything they want because no feelings involved just pure facts. I love how he never regret what he did either, means in that scenario, what he did is the best action to take (note that its a best decision for someone who dont know feelings). His love is childish. Remind me of how this boy who sits behind me in elementary school keep stabbing me (literally) with needle kind of thing to get my attention. Also paid my phone bills without me asking & knowing. Thats Matthias, but a lot worse (since he have the power).

For Leyla, what I love about her character is how near the end the author explain how
Spoiler

she's an orphan so she needs to smile all the time to make others happy without considering her own feeling but ML is the one who makes her cry

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. I guess thats the chemistry the author's going for.

The highlight is ofcourse the depression episodes. I do felt nauseous reading that part, I could feel the pain, so thats a nice poin. Everyone also get their own closure, which is heartbreaking and nice tbh.

Let's give a little credit to how the author
Spoiler

kill the only romance option for Caludine and still dead till the end. Like in other story a huge possibilities that Riette gonna survive somehow but NO. AUTHOR REALLY KILLED HIM. Oh not only that but Caludine also MARRIED TO SOMEONE ACROSS THE SEA

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. Conclusion, the author hates Claudine :) <<less
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fury emvio
fury emvio rated it
December 25, 2022
Status: Completed
I don't know why it says I gave it 1 star, I can't correct it now... It is realistically 4.3.

I love how I hated Mathias throughout the story. He is seriously one of the worst MLs I've seen so far. I thought of dropping this novel several times but I kept returning to it with every new chapter, I do love angsty stories.

The translation was so perfect and poetic that at times it was the only part of the novel that kept me going, so a big thank you to... more>> the translators.

Without giving out spoilers, I can only say that this novel isn't for everyone, you will question your morals if you like this story as I did.😅

It is not a unique novel, but it has something that kept me reading, and I have to say I am a bit sad to see it end. <<less
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aim_mia
aim_mia rated it
August 3, 2022
Status: c79
Love this story so much. I love this kind of toxic relationship between the MC's the push and pull between them. It is not boring full of heartaches but it was the reason why I kept reading it thankyou for translating it!!
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Sonofatila
Sonofatila
December 12, 2021
Status: --
Omgg this is one of the best novel!! Yeah the Male lead is jerk but I love this type of ML but anyway the FL is awesome also while reading this I cried few times when people and the ML were bullying her 😇😪 I need more update

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