You’ve Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

Description

Links are NOT allowed. Format your description nicely so people can easily read them. Please use proper spacing and paragraphs.

The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homos*xual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.

Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.

Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.

Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virg*n. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.

He might as well die.

Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit su*cide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virg*n to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.

Associated Names
One entry per line
YGMCT
You've Got Mail: The Perils of Pigeon Post
คบสหายผ่านพิราบต้องพึงระวัง
飛鴿交友須謹慎
飞鸽交友须谨慎
Related Series
N/A
Recommendations
Hua Hua You Long (2)
Blooming Romance (1)
It’s Not Easy Being Your Love Rival’s Big Brother (1)
Exile (1)
Lian Qun Fang (1)
Desharow Merman (1)
Recommendation Lists
  1. Liz's Collection : BL { Historical [ mystery, poli...
  2. TBR BL that i believe hold the potential to make i...
  3. BL Reading List
  4. Best Bl I've read so far(the best according to me)
  5. Done/Ongoing - Danmei -UwU-

Latest Release

1 group(s) hidden due to dead links. Click here to show all releases.
Write a Review
150 Reviews sorted by


mintflavored
mintflavored rated it
January 19, 2024
Status: Completed
It's not a story without its flaws. Despite that, it is my favorite novel that I have read multiple times. I guess you could say it's one of those stories I reach out to for comfort.

So this is a very biased review, based solely on my preferences (because this novel has all of them).

After my first proper 2-3 read throughs, all the other times I would skip most of the smut and just focus on MC's inner thoughts and his interactions with the rest of the characters.

The story... more>> is quite straight forward, easy to read (great, great translation!), funny, a bunch of lovely side characters that either move the plot along OR are simply nice to read about.

The plot thickens later, but it just adds more flavor to the overall plot.

The wife chasing IS quite long, but it does make sense and it wasn't annoying to me. You also end up seeing what a devoted slightly crazed ML is willing to do for his loved one. What a silly man.

I need to say this twice: I LOVE MC HERE! I LOVE HIM! Weirdly, I could relate to him and it made me stop & think of my own life multiple times. Am I a frog in the well too?

MC is hard to describe but I'll try. He knows what he wants, he thinks he knows what he deserves, he moves with the flow, no matter what happens around him he is quite chill and rolls with the punches without even meaning to, he is witty but doesn't really think too much (he prefers to work, eat and spend his nights looking at d1ck pics). He is super fun imo, has hidden depths too.

(ML is not a green OR red flag. He alternates. To others he can and is quite cruel, but he holds several people close to his heart and he treats them well. ML's motives to approach MC aren't the best and then ML tries to test MC a bunch of times, only for the ML himself to end up being the one suffering and going above & beyond to pamper & look after MC. It's clear who holds the leash in the relationship.)

Also, if MC wasn't the way he was, ML would have become unbearable at some point. But our unmoving, free spirited old man makes all the interactions between him and young arrogant general so fun (and later, super endearing) to read about.

I have so much to say about it, so I will put a spoiler below and write some of my thoughts (rants) down.
Spoiler
  • I love the age difference. MC is very close to his 40's (and I personally enjoyed a quiet man saving up for his coffin and thinking & talking lot about his planned funeral) and plans to kill himself. Don't worry, no drama & tragedy.
  • MC is not some young overly feminine beauty. Just average (cute imo).
  • He also does not have multiple suitors or a glam life. He is a regular guy minding his own business.
  • ML tries to fatten MC up. That's probably one of his top 3 priorities after they met and until the very end.
  • Continuing the point above, this novel sometimes feels like a food a very long vlog or a cooking cookbook. I enjoyed that. The descriptions were mouth-watering and the food aspect adds a nice warmth to the story.
  • You might think reading about planting veggies, repairing the house, a very country side life (and low class, for lack of better words) would be boring and add nothing to the store. But the author makes it easy to get s**ked into the story and experience a period in time that you didn't know about.
  • The world feels real. The characters (down to the petty bickering ladies that always stir sh*t up) are tangible. The cast is memorable.
  • The antagonists and everyone else has their chance to shine and add their own flavors to the plot.
  • All the political stuff is mostly done in the background and largely by ML and subordinates. So MC's life is focused on planting veggies, eating, enjoying a more or less lazy life, while ML is out there scheming and you know it's going to be fire.
  • Even if you don't enjoy politics & scheming & drama, I can assure you this novel has the perfect amount of it. Not too little or too much.
  • You don't only see MC's POV. You are able to enjoy multiple character's thoughts, even background's.
  • When MC & ML ain't there, the side characters are still able to stand and make the story worth reading.
  • Was surprising to see ML's side AND MC's side join hands to take MC away and have ML chase him. You thought those people will never see eye to eye, but then this happens.
  • While mentioning that, I need to say: WE WERE ROBBED OF A SECOND CP THAT HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL! Author teased us so much about it, but sadly, it didn't become reality. It's okay still. We got their slow progress in the background, from enemies (kind of) to friendly banter.
  • While talking about pairings, we have this official couple in the novel that appears a couple of times. I wish they were brought up again in the end, or have had a bit more importance to the story. They were the only friends MC had in the beginning moving towards the middle of the story. Didn't they deserve more? I think they did.
[collapse]
Ugh, I can talk about each character and plot point for ages, but I will stop for now.

I do recommend this story, even though I feel like it might not be for everyone or that people would feel like it's quite mediocre.

To me, it's a gem. I keep it close to my heart. So give it a try! Maybe you will love it as much as I do.

I do have to mention, for those looking to read this for the steamy scenes, the smut is quite repetitive. And there is a large amount of

Spoiler

piss involved. ML f*cks MC until MC pisses & faints. But don't worry, ML cleans him up after and pampers him. MC is very into the rough coupling, so.

[collapse]

The scenes are still quite decent and author does try to be a bit creative at times when it comes to bedroom tango. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
deicide.
deicide.
December 25, 2023
Status: Completed
I actually really like this alot HAHAHAHA.

it's f*cking hilarious too. like our MC is so f*cking keen on seeing/keeping drawings of pengorins LMAOOO.

it was alright at first but when I read on more, it started to leave it's mark in my heart.

... more>> the MC is kinda everything I wanted. someone who is firm in their beliefs and doesn't go out of his way to please the ML, or try to get him to love him back (when he realized he liked the ml).

idk how else to put into words but I truly truly like the MC. I've never felt like this before haha. he's soft, demure, kind and goes w the flow but he still has his limits/morals/belief and I like it.

I did not find a problem w the ML using the MC as a substitute in the beginning bcs they both were in a ambiguous faze and also bcs the MC himself kinda knew at the back of his mind that getting the ML was already something he couldn't have imagined.

the smut was more than I would've ever asked for and I f*cking live/love it.

Spoiler

I was still thinking about how Yan might've actually liked the MC in the beginning when he was young but he was still an inherently ungrateful and greedy person. but when it got to a point where MC was saying smth to another victim, I kinda changed my mind a lil. but idk... he did give MC a courtesy name and I felt at least some favorability between them in spite of him using MC. eh anyways HAHAHA.

with how jealous our ML gets, even w his own character and his own pengorins, I was surprised he didn't make a fuss about hearing Yan calling MC by his courtesy name giving by Yan, altho MC did tell ML in the beginning that he had no courtesy name. but ML is v jealous and possessive. even towards his own mother HAHAHAHAHAH. IT'S f*ckING HILARIOUS.

[collapse]

I would've given it 5 stars prob bcs it's the first smut w plot or plot w smut that I've read and enjoyed it but the author is kinda sus... so ye. anyway it's for my own review so HAHAHAHAHA. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Bestbanana
Bestbanana rated it
April 11, 2023
Status: c106
I don't think there's much use in rating a work based on what you want/expect going in, but more on what it is and has to offer.

This isn't a story I would recommend for someone looking to be invested or excited by the main couple or who are super into plot (not that those people can't enjoy it... just doesn't seem geared for them)

This feels to me like a Greek comedy, where the characters aren't the smartest or the most appealing, but they are very funny. Top tier comedy... more>> in act 1 and a fair bit as well in act 2. Genuinely laughed uncontrollably out loud. The concept, the delivery, everything was on point for me in terms of comedy.

Act 3 was more plot based, with less humor. The plot had some set up in parts 1 and 2, but otherwise there wasn't much plot that didn't center around the main couple.

My only gripe is that the s*x scenes were a little off putting and I tended to skim/skip. Nothing about this work suggested they were living in a world with different physiology (like abo) so some of the descriptions were a little... wack example:

Spoiler

The MC, who was the receiver during s*x was often described as getting wet. Without an explanation of some biology f*ckery, my brain wouldn't stop trying to figure out how this could be, and it was distracting

[collapse]

But I wasn't really in it for the smut so other than the annoyance of having to skip past, it didn't impact me too much

I would say if you are sensitive to dubcon give this a skip.

Spoiler

the ML does ignore verbal "no"s from the MC several times.

[collapse]

It's pretty tame compared to what I've seen in other danmei, but a heads up in case that's not your thing <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Vansiee
Vansiee rated it
December 27, 2022
Status: Completed
4.6

I wasent expecting much from this other than a laugh, but this was truly a delight to read. I haven't read a more humble and confident MC before and I love him for that. He's not the typical beauty he's the ones that eats them🤣. We all need to be more like Wu Xingzi with the gentle grace he carries himself.
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
swen
swen rated it
October 25, 2022
Status: c40
WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN

my first time reading this, I gasped and yelled and laughed. no, not "haha" laugh, the type of laughter where everything in the house is silent then you just simply cannot contain yourself and let out the loudest wheeze-yell ever out of the blue while imaginary tears run down your face

there are times where I thought I couldn't get through it because of the second hand embarrassment. but now I realize that's the appeal- despite the cheesy (and extremely eccentric) dynamic, I couldn't help but want... more>> to know more about the characters, the plot, the story.

edit: aha! I found the appeal! (spoilers for 2ha)

Spoiler

ML and his little crush remind me of mo ran and shi mei.... glorifying crush? check. unwilling to confess or dirty crush in any way? check. searching for substitutes? check? crush is actually an antagonist? check...?

[collapse]

i love how the ML is pretty scummy but he's not abusive-scummy? he's definitely not the most perfect ML ever, with the way their relationship began. but I do love how he genuinely begins to care about the MC to the point where he becomes sweet and MC is upset, comforts and coaxes him when he wrongs him, and realizes he cares more about MC. than he thought. not gonna lie i'd drop this man if this were modern times but I will be turning a blind eye to his red flags since the genre for this is half comedy <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Bluepersona
Bluepersona rated it
September 18, 2021
Status: Completed
Ah, the different kinds of joy this book gives you. It's just like a fairytale... no scratch that.. it's a mature adult fairytale. Heeheee

You will go through some real fun, embarrassing, hilarious, heart-wrenching, romantic, way too passionate and so many more moments with the MC... like seriously in some scenes I could feel the pain in my heart, and in others, I laughed out loud with embarrassment and could not help blushing and closing my door shut to avoid my family while reading this. ML might be a bit of... more>> a douchebag at the beginning but his later care will melt you away.

Wild smexy horse, possessive caring ML x innocent but not really innocent old cute cinderella quail MC featuring tons of Pigeons, adorable side characters, the delicious beta couple (hate to love, loyal dog x seductive fox), smut lots of smut very good smut, educational smut, again smut, very romantic, rattan case full of you know what, pigeons everywhere, villains dealt well, supportive parents and friends etc

Omo the parents are so cute..'Hey so you don't like women, ok fine we won't matchmake for you again with them but but its fine to matchmake you with guys right.. right????........*ML has left the chat*

On a serious note, it's pretty mature and very detailed but honestly, the main story is so satisfying. If you guys aren't comfortable with mature stuff I would still suggest you guys read it excluding those chapters cause the romance and characters are worth it.

I didn't really find many cons while reading... maybe one or two stuff, I did have my doubts, buts its mainly a romantic comedy with slice of life (very tag applicable) so I would suggest not to expect action and other serious historic drama... ohh but there is another kind of action and good drama though... hehheeeeeheeee *Me grins in a corner*

PS: beauties beauties everywhere but our wallflower MC needs only his box full of.......... go read it to fill in this line <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Rainbow Unicorn
Rainbow Unicorn
August 17, 2021
Status: Completed
I was wondering how a smut book got pretty high ratings and it totally deserved it! I was not really into large age gaps but this was good. The dense MC was adorable as frick and the ML is caring and respectful. Tho I wanted to punch him sometimes lmao.
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Lara Night
Lara Night rated it
August 10, 2021
Status: Completed
MC and his obsession on xxxx drawing 😂😂😂

omg this story is so good, it's funny, well narrated, well translated and full with hot scenes.. Totally good for those who love steamy relationship full with smutty scenes.

go for it!
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Gold_strength
Gold_strength rated it
April 20, 2021
Status: c76
Brilliant novel! Couldn't put it down. A very unique concept. And the translation is top-notch. One very small gripe I have is that the author seems to be under the impression that the an*s is self-lubricating. Lol nope. There were parts where I wondered what the liquid seeping out was. It almost made it sound like diarrhoea. But this is indeed a very tiny gripe. The rest of the novel more than makes up for it. I'm just loving it.
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
AdventurousKat
AdventurousKat rated it
March 30, 2021
Status: Completed
Overall it's a good story and the smut is steamy.
The MC is a likeable person, he's capable, smart and sometimes even cunning. But because he's timid and docile, people tend to underestimate him. His interactions with the ML are super funny (especially when they fight about pengornis drawings) and I often laughed out loud.
I don't really like the ML and his behaviour though. I think he's really controlling, toxic and jealous most of the time. I mean he basically kidnapped the MC and kept him in a courtyard... more>> for months. I don't understand why people tend to romanticise this behaviour and I'm tired of characters like that... <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
glitteryjoon
glitteryjoon rated it
March 16, 2021
Status: c1
Initially I was a little hesitant to read this. I wasn’t sure if id really want to read it because the summary I read first was a simple “an ancient china Grindr love story” and that was very— off putting to say the least.

Immediately I assumed it would be nothing but smut with little plot for 106 chapter, however I was pleasantly surprised to find I was wrong.

This story was very interesting and the lack of cliche points was something I was enthusiastically looking forward to. I loved that the... more>> MC wasn’t considered attractive and that he was a little silly and older. On the other hand, he wasn’t the idiotic cliche of a white moonlight that are characteristically thought of when mentioning a silly character. He was still very smart it’s just that he was more straightforward and lacking the wit of those clever characters that hide their bite and true intentions behind pretty words and flattery.

i also enjoyed that while this could be described as a ancient china grindr love story, it still had many interesting points. I like that the ML wasn’t immediately in love and that the development of his feelings for our MC was so clear instead of muddled and just appearing at random. The MC’s backstory even made my heart ache in understanding and empathy when we were giving explanations on why his character may come across as lacking or silly. My heart hurt so much to read how much he believe he lacked and how little self-worth he believed he had because of his appearance and lack of money.

This story actually reminded me of a manga called Never Understand. The premise is somewhat the same, but the location and timeline is different. Instead, it’s about the handsomest boy at school falling for the ugliest one. I really really loved this story and so as I began reading this novel, I was reminded of how much I love when not everyone is as beautiful as a flower with an elegance of an immortal, because that’s not real life. Not everyone is attractive, but at the same time, not everyone unattractive person will end up alone. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that good stuff.

One thing I’ll say (and I’m sure I’m probably the only one) there was an intense amount of smut that I could have done without. Ultimately, I just skipped it when I felt like it, but that’s just me. Aside from that, there was a place towards the end of the second book and beginning of the third where I got bored but it was still a good read once I pushed through it. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
MeineMeow
MeineMeow rated it
March 4, 2021
Status: Completed
Plot and story : 4.5. There’s no complicated story here. But I give 4.5 for the fresh idea. 40 yo MC? Dating service? Ancient setting? LMFAO.

Comedic : 4. I can’t keep my face straight every time our lovely MC appreciate ML “pengornises” better than all the affection showered to him by our scum ML. I can’t even stop laughing when the ML found those secret stash of pengornises collection. But I just read other comedic duo better than this one, so it’s hard to give this 5 star.

Translation : 5.... more>> Smooth, even in those smuts scene.

Smut : I was torn between 4 or 5. This is no really my taste of smuts. Not realistic, but still smexy.

Char : 5. I love how they describe all these char is as humans, with their flaws, greed, and humanity. I don’t know why I cried when I found out the reason MC decide to su*cide when he reach 40. MC definitely one of my fave MC in BL world. Smart yet clumsy, humble yet refuse to be bullied. Since he was smart, he knows it was not worthy to fight for something he can’t have, and quick to bury his sadness. A bit like me, maybe bcoz I almost 40 too. LOL.

Verdict : Very entertaining, light, and worth to read. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Smtha
Smtha rated it
March 3, 2021
Status: Completed
I love this story! For someone who is older I really can related to what the MC is feeling. The story flows so beautifully, the characters of MC is simple and yet a bit complex yet it is so heartbreaking sometimes but you can’t help but want to protect and love him more. (Haha what’s more, to make him happy sometimes is just food and pengornis drawings!pengornis is justice!) ML hmm is young, handsome and a great general, but he is selfish and kinda scummy. But because of... more>> his pengornis and handsome face that he kinda redeemable to our MC. Lol 😂. Anyway jokes aside, the story is really funny and really loveable especially our old MC. He may seem foolish sometimes and you have to admired him when he was trying to protect his heart.. He actually quite astute of people and situations around him. Sometimes he is to aware that is so heartbreaking, and yet thats also help him in alot of ways.
The story I have to say the smuty parts are really hardcore. And there’s alot! And I love it. Haha. The whole story of his simple life to not so simple and all the hot fluff he’s getting is really nice. The court drama and and intrigue is light and not much bloody drama. And of course there is almost no face slapping (which is quite refreshing) haha Anyway for me is highly pleasurable read. And I really recommend this. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Cocole
Cocole
February 22, 2021
Status: c105
Truly enjoyed the novel. Love the main characters and their relationship dynamics. Unconventional and warm. Love the humour and dialogue. So grateful to the translating team. Awesome translation, dedicated timely updates and also completing the novel. Thank you so much ❣️🧧🙏
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Pinku3B
Pinku3B rated it
June 5, 2020
Status: Completed
I'm very disappointed in this story. I feel like it had potential but it ended in a disorganized plot with little sense. There is no growth of the characters or the couple... only acceptance and voila ? At first it was 80% smut and 20% plot. When the writer tries to put more plot, rambles, and to cut the idea and start another puts smut that brings out of the galley meaningless. I have read other novels with many explicit scenes but it's the first time that it bothers me... more>> to read so much explicit s*x. The form of the writing doesn't allow you to maintain the emotion of the little plot. Unless all you want to do is read explicit scenes in detail. <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
sschmitt
sschmitt rated it
May 15, 2020
Status: c64
I am waiting to finish this one but I must say I have completely enjoyed it. Its hilarious, smutty, good plot, great characters. I am over here waiting for the next translations and I am about to break down with how bad I want to finish this.
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
fakeluff
fakeluff rated it
February 3, 2020
Status: Completed
I didn't expect to cry because of this smutty novel, but I did, and more than once. Wu Xingzi will burrow his hapless way into your heart and Guan Shanjin will brashly melt whatever's left untouched. They each have to sort their pasts out before they have a real future together, but it's worth all the (at times extremely wet) entangling, (at times rather angsty) detangling, and (at times, squeezed dry) entangling again as they get there. Wish Hei'er and the P Society Boss had more scenes together!!!
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Aidel00
Aidel00 rated it
November 11, 2019
Status: c38
It's too funny,

MC is really a down to earth person,

he's completely clueless about ML feelings and keeps on abusing him unknowingly.

... more>> ML pride had reached the sky only for the MC to stomp on it innocently.

ML though he was the top of the world but only his downstairs tool was venerated by MC.

ML gradually realizes his value in MC eyes and pukes blood left and right.

Really satisfying abuse of scum gong, was laughing evilly all the time, rest of the time blushing madly...

MC is a huge, shameless pe*vert inside (can totally relate and love him because of this).

Can be summed up like this:

Spoiler

The shou is bulling the scum gong by favoring the drawings of penises of others and treating them as treasures, the gong is dying by sprouting blood while the shou looks at him confused.

[collapse]

It's not just smut, it's both rolling in bed and on the floor laughing.

Absolutely recommended- <<less
3 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
spygen0707 rated it
January 1, 2024
Status: --
I read it before they took it down.

The smut was hardcore. Super hardcore. They both hornee for each other but shou is without the gong is us in general.

But the story was *chef kiss*. I love the angst, MC is very unfortunate but he's very kind, lovable, logical, I want to hug him and give him happiness before he met ML after he met that scum.
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
sindea
sindea rated it
May 7, 2023
Status: Completed
Ok, so start off, this has got to be one of the best fan translations I've read!
No weird science structures, pronon confusions, etc ect which is quite common from chinese translations!

The MC is not your usual peerless beauty type of MC, he is quite different from most danmei/yaoi trope MC, which is very refreshing! Loved how he always stayed humble. He was quite pure and and over generous and kind, yet at the same time stubborn and stuck to his guts! This contradiction made him such a lovable MC!

Just... more>> personal preference, didnt love how honry and p*nis obsessed the MC was, it was just a bit much for me. Also didnt love that the MC was constantly called "old quail" by the ML as a form of endearment. Maybe its just a lost in translation type of thing, but c'mon, thats just NOT romantic or cute at all! Quite derogatory in fact!

Also this novel had A LOT of smut/steamy scenes. But its def beyond smut, very explicit, like VERY! And I dont mind smut or explicit s*x scenes per se.
However, in this novel there was just SO MANY s*x scenes just for the sake of s*x scenes. The author even says in one chapter that she missed writing smut so much, she just HAD to force another s*x scene in there, purely because.

Again, I dont mind smut, ad enjoy it if done right, but all the s*x scenes were also SUPER repetitive. Like they were literally written almost the same, nothing new or different in any of em.

At first I didnt mind, and read the s*x scenes. But after reading SO many of them, which were written exactly the same, I just ended up skipping them all together just to get on with the main plot.

Again, excellent novel, EXCELLENT translations, excellent MC, great ML, but too many repetitive s*x scenes. <<less
2 Likes · Like Permalink | Report
Leave a Review (Guidelines)
You must be logged in to rate and post a review. Register an account to get started.