You’ve Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

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The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homos*xual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.

Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.

Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.

Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virg*n. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.

He might as well die.

Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit su*cide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virg*n to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.

Associated Names
One entry per line
YGMCT
You've Got Mail: The Perils of Pigeon Post
คบสหายผ่านพิราบต้องพึงระวัง
飛鴿交友須謹慎
飞鸽交友须谨慎
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150 Reviews sorted by


moonbeam00
moonbeam00 rated it
February 8, 2020
Status: c50
Aahh... this story is one of a touching story. I really love the MC. You can't help but feel your heart being squeeze with MC's characters. Gentle yet so strong, have many disadvantages but never one who begs pity from others. I like how MC and ML are so realistic. MC didn't even think he could catch a man like ML. And how the development of ML character is so natural. He loved other man for years before he met MC, and ofc it's only natural he didn't suddenly forget... more>> that 'love' as soon as he met his new love interest. But we can read through the story how his feeling gradually grows for MC (the one he truly loves). And this story is so funny. I truly enjoy reading this. Even though I have read through the direct raw translation (my head dizzy with the many inaccuracies), I still wait this proper translation to finish. Thank you for the translator. <<less
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Zigenbunny
Zigenbunny rated it
November 27, 2019
Status: c40
Absolutely love this story! MC is super interesting and different from your typical shou. I don't know if his age plays any part on his personality but I doubt it does since he doesn't seem to want to change until he finally feels like he doesn't have anything to live for anymore which is very sad.

About the ML... yes he is scum for using replacements. But he's the type scum that I like to read about who will end up changing their ways lol. He gets oh so ansty! My... more>> heart wrenches for him every time he feels conflicted about his feelings due to MC doing things that he doesn't even know is having an affect on ML because he's just living his life hehe. I've been looking for a story like this for a long time! And it is very well written.

I really appreciate that it is a published novel instead of a web novel. At least from what I can see from the translated side, just the words, flow and how everything is presented is very neat and concise. Not too rushed or feel choppy. Basically, it's probably gone through a lot of editing and is well presented. It definitely hit all my sweet spots and I'm loving every page! <<less
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Meow4meow
Meow4meow rated it
July 9, 2019
Status: Completed
I was excited to read this at first because of all the good reviews. But it just goes to show that you cant judge a book by reviews alone. I tried it and I hate it, I literally feel like I wasted my time reading this. First of all the MC is portrayed as this shy, down to earth and lonely guy. Which is true except for the part where he is also a coward, painfully so to the point of being spineless. And s*upid to the point where everyone... more>> had to update him on what exactly was going on. The ML left a sour taste in my mouth. I mean the guy is supposed to be this badass fearsome general but got played by his teacher for years, like he didn't even get a clue until like 3 months before his teacher got married. And the fact that the author kept bringing up all these unimportant people towards the end of the book despite the ML and MC not quite hashing out all the problems in their relationship made me even more upset <<less
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dee_ism
dee_ism rated it
March 6, 2021
Status: --
If you want the smut, maybe this one is for you.

But for me, I don't like the MC and ML, and the plot also meh.

MC is weak, closed pe*vert, no self respect, got played easily.

... more>> ML is so selfish, heartless, cares about no one.

From a get go I can't find myself liking the pair, they just go for a pleasure. But ok let's read it more. But as the story goes on, the couple got no any better, really unbalanced. I hate it. Why the rating so high?

Not my cup of tea. <<less
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Corgibutt
Corgibutt rated it
February 15, 2021
Status: c55
Okay I am about halfway done and I’ll finish, but this author needs an anatomy lesson. Booties do not self-lubricate the way this main character’s does during every snusnu scene! Make it an ABO novel if you want it to work like that
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Adlt_1226
Adlt_1226 rated it
November 28, 2020
Status: c92
Finished binge reading the translation and I did not expect that it was going to be so good! I'd been putting this off for a long time, which, after reading has got me regretting that I was not there early on. But no matter, I have caught up and it was a pleasant surprise. The MC is temperament goals, seriously nothing can faze him no matter how others try to put him down. He has such a high level of self awareness and has accepted his status in life that... more>> no matter how people judge him - and by the way the society in this novel is vain - he just leaves them dumbstruck because he's just too good a person. I'd sum the MC's story with life begins at 40. Like seriously all of the exciting experiences happens after MC hits 40 and his experiences in the novel is just fun to read (although a huge part of it are bedroom activities ehem)... kind of reminded me of jonas jonasson's The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared hahaha only the MC's adventures are more raunchy... anyway, this was a great read. Don't expect growth from the MC, he's 40 and more or less already set in his ways, he does come out of his shell though and becomes more liberated in dealing with his desire to find a life partner and his honesty is just adorable. It does get a bit frustrating since he does not speak up for himself when he should but nevertheless, he is such a lovable character.

ML is a scum initially but knows how to shower affection towards the MC more so when he realizes he loves the MC.

There are a lot of lovable supporting characters too that bring additional humor to the story.

The collusion and political intrigue isn't as heavy as some other stories; there's affection and fluff but not to the extent that your teeth would get cavities and such, it's a more mature kind of fluff.

And just like the title, read with caution. This is not going to be everyone's cup of tea/joe. If you're uncomfortable with dirty talk and explicit scenes, basically if you're uncomfortable with r18 stuff please do not even touch this because it gets pretty hot early on and just gets even hotter as the story progresses. However if you're comfortable enough then do not hesitate to pick this up. <<less
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abhi_2296
abhi_2296 rated it
October 13, 2022
Status: Completed
I think one of the most differently written MC (Shou) character I have read. Initially, some readers might find him to be too placid, too indifferent, even a bit of a silly airhead. But give him time, he is actually a very unique and lovely individual and as the reader you see his character slowly unfolding as the story progresses and you end up absolutely falling in love with him just like the ML does. You kind of understand why this OP Gong falls so hard for this seemingly ordinary... more>> man.

Even though I wouldn't say this is a very deep or profound novel, it has it's moments.

Like, for someone like me who has never been very ambitious or a great proponent of the #hustle life. I truly relate to the MC who just wants to live a quiet life and is satisfied with what he has. Plus, the man is literally "food>>>>everything" in any given situation. He is a man after my own heart :P

I would say definitely read it for the MC if nothing else! <<less
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AneeChan
AneeChan rated it
May 21, 2022
Status: Completed
THE BEST MC!
Simply put the interactions between MC and ML can be summed up as follows:
ML: Do you love me?
MC: Yes, I love your d*ck very much!!! (LMFAO)
THIS IS BASICALLY 2/3 OF THE STORY and almost everytime it's hard not to imagine the ML's heart shattering piece by piece to see how much the guy he brought in an as a substitute to "use" gave zero f*cks about him except for his dick. The ML loses so bad at his own game that it's so... more>> hard to not RoFL throughout the story.
The MC is the MVP. He's the man of story. His sense of self-aware naivete drives everybody - the ML, the scheming side characters, the villains and even those who find him disgusting- up a wall so bad that, they always at a loss when it comes to this old man (Our MC is an aged 40 yr old man).
Anyways should you read it? OFCOURSE. IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE that didn't mess things up with cheesy dialogues or nonsensical twists. The plot is what you'd expect but takes a non-linear execution with some added unexpected political turn towards the latter half of the story. It was nice- and a spicy change to the story that in other ways limited to the romantic conflict alone.
Overall:
Characters- 10/10 (The MC and ML are very well developed and the ML has considerable character development. None of the side characters are merely props to MCs and have a hand in the plot some way or another)
Plot-
Romantic aspect: 9/10 The development was very organic and we could see how both the MC and ML came to love eachother. Even the conflict from unrequited loves and past flings were well balanced. (Not overly dramatic or angsty).
Political aspect: 6/10. It was good, a bit rushed and has unresolved issues but adds colour to an otherwise romance-only story. Aids to the dramatic effect of the story.
Also the motherfreaking proposal gift of d*ck pics!! Pls, I felt like the author had gun trolling the readers at that part- The ending was on crack.
Bonus- SMUT YA'LL! WOHOOOO! *Inhumane noises*
It was very graphic and deliciously written. A f*cking treat.
I had one problem though.
How can an an*s lubricate by itself??? <<less
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Toniq1
Toniq1 rated it
March 11, 2021
Status: c106
In the beginning, this novel was great. Funny, smutty, and entertaining. The MC was hilarious and lovable. Scum gong? I can tolerate that. Alas, all good things come to an end. Starting at about halfway through the story, I was getting annoyed at the drama, but I'm a trooper, so I kept going. However, it just kept getting worse. Plot holes beyond plot holes (I'm usually quite tolerant of them for the sake of the story) even the smut was very questionable! I was constantly screaming internally What?? How?? Why????

By... more>> chapter 90 I was ready to drop the novel. I was stuck between trudging through and possibly gauging my eyes out or never finding out how the story ends. I compromised by skimming the rest, I even skipped the smut entirely, it was that bad.

The second half of the novel just ruined it for me, now I'm just bitter. <<less
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narinim
narinim rated it
February 12, 2021
Status: c78
when I read the plot and the reviews my expectations were too high but

Toooo much smut, and noooo plot.

two people get involved and start doing it, and some other people some how are in the middle of this and there is tons of people who want to meddle in their relationship, and no one knows what is going on really. And this nonsense drags on for the entire novel. I got tired and skipped few chapters and I realized those chapters were quite unnecessary, maybe the whole book is unnecessary.... more>> Just reading the first and last chapter maybe just fine.

And they keep calling a forty year old man, "old man". Since when people get old that fast?, even if it's ancient times and people don't live as much as now, the overemphasis on the word "old" is still too much and it's getting on my nerves.

I have no problem with smut, and if there is a strong plot to support it I actually like it., but this one seems like a smut that has tried really hard to find some sort of story to wrap around the smut.

MC is weak and pathetic, and some sort of a pe*vert, but selfless, no self-respect whatsoever, gets played quite easily, because he doesn't care if people take advantage of him, doesn't care about himself at all.

ML is selfish, s*upid, cares about no one, plays with everyone's feelings and when some one does the same to him, he feels sooo wronged as though he was so innocent himself.

ML is too self-centered for me to like, I might have liked the MC for his selflessness but the overemphasis on the word "old" didn't let me. He is forty, but I am getting the feeling that he is at the age of my great grandfather. <<less
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kromeee
kromeee rated it
October 23, 2023
Status: c106
I'm going to defend this one a bit because I do know it seems very silly and superficial on the surface, but there is actually a very wholesome story happening within (not that there is anything wrong with those things, I just want to highlight that this novel actually does go a little bit deeper). I personally think the mc's journey of self-discovery (no matter how clownlike and grindr-coded it is) is very sweet, because I do think it's rare we get to see characters later in life grapple with... more>> love the way that he does. The male lead is obviously off-putting when he's only viewing our beloved middle-aged man as a hook-up, but the way he actually quickly falls for him without realizing is pretty adorable. There is more romantic sincerity in this novel about a guy obsessed with d*ck pics than you might think and I do recommend it. <<less
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MangaMoose
MangaMoose
August 13, 2021
Status: Read
I call these a burnout or a blaze-to-a-smolder. This is an ancient Grindr story gone right. The h**ny starts quick and the love builds slowly as the cat and mouse happens, often but not always commedically. Definitely a fling-to-lovers with lots of papapa. Or a papapa to muahmuahmuah.

Shou has nothing to lose and everything (but his d***pics to throw away) and thinks he will never be with the gong due to statis, etc.; gong has never been rejected and loves how bold, hedonistic, honest, easy going, older shou that knows... more>> what he wants (and will ask for it).

Suicidal older pe*vert nerd tries to escape h**ny sexy younger general that doesn't know he wants someone to love him for who he is.

Realistic/relatable protagonist! Normal looking protagonist! Older protagonist! Both have scum ex-love-imterests.

MC likes to collect d***pics xD He's accepted he is never going to get with the one that broke his heart and wants to live out his boring, poor, advisor life, to the ripe age of 40, then lay in his pretty coffin in his pretty burial plot thay he works so hard to afford.

He finally lands his eyes on the local pastry shop cutie-boi who turns out to be gay but taken; he introduces MC to ancient Grindr, Pidgeon Express and the "Mythical Birdwatching" book The Pengornis. Sending letters to make new friends = collecting d***pics!

MC meets his Man of Destiny, LI, the younger, sexy, jealous, playboy, never been rejected before, General!

Hilarity ensues. A lot of hilarity ensues. It takes itself seriously and has a steady plot full of smut.

The comedy is especially great for the LI's closest guards and MC's obsession with LI's d***s.

Starts emo/sad, escalates quickly, emo/sad main character theme persists and comes to an excellent resolution.

The bad guys get theres in the end.

HE.

Kinks in novel: (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Spoiler

*F*** him til he pees; P*** size comparison/difference; small d*** fetish; big d*** fetish; D***pic painting/sharing; s*x at first sight; crying/shyness; reluctant but h**ny shou; lady in streets freak in sheets; go all night; F*** til shou faints; prison HJ; semipublic s*x, overbearingly jealous gong; identity swaps/espionage/conspiracy; pretending to be a different/uglier guy; self-jeakousy; truth syrum/aphrodesiac/s*x; ancient leather bu*t toys; submissive shou; forceful but concentual BJ; dominant gong; light bd*m; smut every few chapters; third wheel; scum exes; fear of rejection.

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ghoststories
ghoststories rated it
June 28, 2021
Status: Completed
I was excited to read this book because of all the good ratings and reviews, but I was heavily disappointed. I was promised good smut and good plot, but what I got was over-the-top, anatomically incorrect, repetitive s*x scenes, and a plot that seemed forcibly inserted just for the sake of making the novel not completely pwp.

There were also a lot of (quite serious, in my opinion) plot holes, inconsistent character backgrounds, anachronisms, etc. It was also quite weird to me that 99% of the story was almost completely non-magical... more>> except for like two random scenes where they channeled their inner energy to heal other characters. I'm all for fantasy/cultivation novels, but since this isn't one... it was strange.

Literally finished the book only because I was hoping for more glimpses of the side characters Ran Cui and Hei Er, but they were never mentioned in the last ten-ish chapters of the book, and never got a resolution. <<less
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yooa_12
yooa_12
April 29, 2021
Status: Completed
I thought this would be more of a pwp but surprisingly the latter half of the novel was heavily plot oriented, it didn't feel forced btw.

As for the main couple, wu xingzi is amazing. He's a very firm person, if he says he wants something, he'll work hard to get it, but if he gives up on something, there too, you won't change his mind easily. And despite his age, there's a halo of innocence and naivety on him and it's endearing, but don't underestimate him, there's a reason why... more>> he has been an advisor for 20 years already.

But guan shanjin.... sigh, to put it simply, he's a dick, the fact that he got closer to wu xingzi because he saw him as a replacement for mr. Lu it's not even what got me mad, because wu xingzi was also making use of him as an affair. But when he started controlling, manipulating and mentally abusing wu xingzi, that's where I just wanted to get in the novel and beat him silly.

Despite those troubles, the smut is god tier, chef kiss, 10/10, guan shanjin bed skills make it up for his lack of brains.

But by the end of the novel I wasn't that annoyed by him, there wasn't a good redemption arc for him but at least he now tries to be a more supportive man and started treating wu xingzi more like his partner and not his s*x toy, so I guess that's cool <<less
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psychofreak
psychofreak rated it
April 5, 2021
Status: Completed
4.5/5 cuz wut happened to hei'er and that manager guy?

Seriously though, this is probably one of the novels that I was too fond of the MC. He's such a pure dumpling and I found him relatable. One might find his character weak, but his nature is calm and timid, and all he wants is peace. Also, he was very lonely and probably depressed. Living alone for that long can do a number on one's mental state, so him acting indifferent and happy-go-lucky is just him protecting himself. ... more>>
Spoiler

So it's also understandable once you learn of his past heartache... he had all the reason to close off his heart, having his heart broken after all. Heck, it didn't even get to actually fully heal even after 20 yrs.

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The smut is abundant, but I honestly couldn't take it seriously whenever I read pengornis. No matter how steamy the scene is, I just burst out laughing. Not saying that it's a bad thing, rather, it's actually creative, but just... lol.

Story-wise it's pretty entertaining, you get some schemes, a villain that's not boring cannon fodder, some nice side characters like the subordinates and maids, and then there's Mr. Lu. I hate that guy, Mr. Lu. Such an idiot, that Mr. Lu. This Mr. Lu thought he was the best, too bad he was too greedy. I wish I could have punched Mr. Lu in the spleen. (yes, if you haven't noticed, there'll be a lot of Mr. Lu in this)

Anyway, the romance development is nice. Again, I found MC relatable in this aspect. This isn't one of those love at first sight type, more like a love pengornis at first sight. One thing that kinda frustrated me though is, just like with some novels, the two lovebirds didn't communicate properly in the beginning. Though I suppose with the character and past trauma of MC, opening up to someone would be difficult. But still, there were times that I just wanna smack them both upside the head. Speaking of smacking, I initially wanted to slap the ML. But then again MC already did a good job of frustrating him, which was entertaining. It was nice reading their progress though. <<less
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yuki_no_hana
yuki_no_hana rated it
November 26, 2020
Status: c92
YES SIR.

This is everything I look forward to in a boy-love love story. Characters who own their sexuality and consensual s*x. Plot is not overwhelming and also act towards the progress of their relationship. I also love the fact the older character is the bottom and the younger is the top.

Our MC Mr. Wu is softest and horniest little baby quail that needs to be protected. His character is just perfect... missing out on love because of work, struggling with attachment and always viewing himself as inferior...I think I can... more>> relate to him a lot (also h**ny for pengorniss).

ML is also a complex character. He is smart and is not pushed around. He is never cold to MC and pampers him endlessly... alot of the reviews complain about ML'S behavior but if you think about it a lot of it makes sense.

Spoiler

ML never r*pes as MC enjoys the s*x and the whole substitute thing is debunked because even our MC views him as a one night stand

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The comedy is also too good. There were soo many parts in where I had to put my phone down and laugh for 5 mins straight. This book is really perfect for reading after you have read long and dark themed novels...

Translation was amazing. THANKS A LOT TEAM FOR GIVING THIS WONDERFUL STORY TO US. <<less
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Wangyibo sweatpants
Wangyibo sweatpants
October 21, 2020
Status: c87
Omg, where do I even start? Let's just say, I came for the smut, stayed for the feels!

Plot
The story introduced us to our main lead Wu, who is 40 years of age, a simple county advisor who wanted only simple things in life. He didn't like to complicate his daily routines so much, never got involved in gossips, politics or anything that would even slightly show extra ambition. I can relate, because honestly, he is me and you in every way! Since homosexuality is not something common yet not... more>> forbidden, he was never involved in men before in his life despite the strong urge to do so. Well, the story started to gallop when he was introduced to a homos*xual community called the Peng society and that is where he met our second main lead !

Characters
Wu is such a refreshing lead ! I have never read a novel with a lead like this where I could easily relate to every little f ups he always stumble himself into! The second hand embarassment is too strong in this novel. I found myself rolling in laughter everytime Wu embarasses himself but I didn't feel bad for laughing at all because the heavens is also very kind to our main lead and no matter how much of a bad luck he had, he was never really kicked down too hard by anyone. It is thanks to his pure natured personality that every ill intentions that comes his way, never seems to manifest properly because dirty tricks only works on those who get it, but he doesn't get it, get it? Guan, our second main lead, started off as a prick. But really, I sympathise with him so much. I don't know why other reviewers hate him as a character. I didn't feel hate for him as he was relatable as well. If I grew up getting everything I wanted, always being told that I am smarter than everyone else and even the heavens always give me everything I need, I would have been a prick too. But given someone with his background, he is still very kind and attentive when he wants to be but given his yin&yang kinda personality, he can also be a devil incarnate if you mess with him. Guan is such a kick ass character and you never know what he will be capable off. Everyone else here just helps to build the story. I felt like every character was relevant and was not wasteful. I used to think this Lu guy is like Shizun Chu Wanning kinda character and that Wu will never win against him. Hence, it kept me interested on the story just to see what would happen to Wu and Lu.

Some things to point out too:
1) I feel that you somewhat need to add an omegaverse tag to this. I was cringing so hard at some parts but I understood it was put in to maximize the smut effect in the novel. But really, men or women alike do not self lubricate themselves there unless they need to defecate. Ok, I said it.
2) And like someone else here who mentioned this too, stop pumping into someone who has fainted!
3) The author keeps saying Wu has mouselike features, dude, I need to imagine a good looking guy when I read this, but I kept imagining mickey mouse in Confucian robes : (

Overall, if you dont mind the weird smut, it will be a good ride for the story line! <<less
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LustHan
LustHan rated it
March 2, 2020
Status: c17
The ML is a dickhead, just flexing in front of MC with his money with no consideration whatsoever. I also consider it a plot-hole how he’s supposed to be all tough and knowing but it’s all imposed on the MC not his first love lol. The MC is okayish. Also a lot of dubious consent, actually you can say it’s non con if you read what the MC actually says during. Won’t waste my time any more on this.
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Akachxi
Akachxi rated it
September 24, 2019
Status: Completed
Its a nice, fun story with not a lot of the dog blood drama you usually get in period novels. There is some, mostly in the later half of the novel. The translator does a real good job at translating and the footnotes were very helpful. I sorta half MTL-ed and half-assed though the rest of the novel. Mainly skimming through the smut because it gets kinda repetitive and its very hard for me to understand with my subpar chinese lol.

I felt like it could've been a longer more complex... more>> story but I was fine with how it ended. The compactness of it was quite nice as well. The ending was, hmm, it was nicely wrapped up.
Spoiler

BUT, it kinda irked me how they didn't mention Mr Lu AT ALL in the last twenty or so chapters, all the way until the LAST CHAPTER did he reappear again and they dealt with him accordingly. Like, he was the main sorta antagonist in the first arc and sub-antag in the second arc, but the practically made no appearances unless someone mentioned him in passing. There were a few things I couldn't really believe too, such as the mission impossible-esque face masks, actually, its mainly the face masks. Leeway bc its fiction but yeah, face masks.

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After finishing the novel, I still can't say I like the ML purely bc his personality is kinda cliche but don't let that deter you from reading the novel. I have a thing for the older shou's and also the holy saint type characters so I enjoyed reading the MC's parts of the novel.
Spoiler

MC was what kept me struggling through the last 20 chapters cause things REALLY slowed down after they went to the capital. I was struggling to finish the novel too bc it was mostly some politics in the end and not much else.

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Aanyyyway, its short and it wrapped up nicely, the translation is spot-on. Read it for smut and fluff. <<less
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Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild
Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild rated it
August 14, 2019
Status: c25
So far its been very funny. And very smutty.

... more>>
Spoiler

The MC is Wu Xingzi a man who is more in love with p*rn and Mr D (his s*x toy) than he is the ML. The ML (named Guan Shanjin) is using Wu Xingzi as the latest replacement for his true love. Guan Shanjin has broken dozens of hearts by pretending to love men that remind him of his true love named Mr Lu. He eventually gets bored with them and cruely dumps them. Guan Shanjin is rather peeved to find out that the only thing Wu Xingzi loves about Guan Shanjin is his formidable-sized PengPeng.... and nothing else. Guan Shanjin's ego being what it is he can't stand the idea of Wu Xingzi not falling for him like all his other victims and does his best to make Wu Xingzi fall in love with him. Wu Xingzi remains devoted to his dic mag The Pengornisseur

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