You’ve Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

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The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homos*xual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.

Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.

Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.

Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virg*n. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.

He might as well die.

Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit su*cide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virg*n to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.

Associated Names
One entry per line
YGMCT
You've Got Mail: The Perils of Pigeon Post
คบสหายผ่านพิราบต้องพึงระวัง
飛鴿交友須謹慎
飞鸽交友须谨慎
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150 Reviews sorted by


Irissska O_o
Irissska O_o rated it
February 25, 2021
Status: c105
3.5

This novel had all the elements for me to hate it, but I actually liked it. It was so funny smts and MC is pretty nice even though with low self esteem and no ambition. Not everyone want to fight the world, some just wanna live their life quietly collecting pengornises and it is ok.
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penelop323
penelop323 rated it
November 6, 2020
Status: Completed
I'm still reading the translation version, so it's ongoing.

Despite that, I can say that I really love this novel. The smut is cherry on top, I can do with or without it.
What I love the most is the MC and I identify some parts of myself in him and sometimes I am brought to tears reading his story or how his view of life and the ML.

I love the MC how he always look forward, no point in dwelling in the past. What Rancui said in the early chapter when he first met MC was on point. MC sounds logical but also poignant.
I have no comment on ML. He's great in all his glory but MC here is the one with flaws - lots of flaws, yet he is beloved. I do regret that he's a lot older than ML. I wonder what kind of future they will have later. I wish them to be together for the longest time. Hug for MC.

Edit:
Finished and love it! I am currently re-reading it.
I'm a bit sad that the story ends and no extra chapters (?) for real? I wish to know more about their lives.
I can't help thinking that with MC now at 40 yo, how many years of smut that this couple can have? ^^
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Yukohana
Yukohana rated it
September 11, 2020
Status: Completed
It's a very good combination of smut and comedy with an adorable MC and slightly annoying ML. I enjoyed making the ML drink his self brewed jug of vinegar and spit mouthfuls of blood.

RESPECT! For the author for consistency of the MCs "character". He did not overly change, though he definitely became better. I loved him from start to finish.
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chrysanthemumtea
chrysanthemumtea rated it
July 22, 2020
Status: c74
Just lovely. Hilarious and smutty, but with the insight into character and deep understanding of life that only appears in more serious literature. This novel leaves you feeling amused, then touched, and then amused again in unpredictable waves.

The translations are excellent. I can't bring myself to go past the latest chapter to read the raws.

The only downside to this novel is that it will leave you staying up all night, unable to put it down.
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anotherworld20
anotherworld20 rated it
July 3, 2020
Status: Completed
Surprisingly this is GOOD !!!
This will made you laugh so bad....
I really enjoyed it even though I read it with Google Translate (if you want just search in Chinese novels)

If you come for SMUT....
this had plenty of smut scene.....
you won't regret it

Am I CRY ? just a couple tear....
Don't worry.... it's safe...... it won't torture you until you lost your breath.....

About the character :

MC is so cute...
He is almost 40 yo but His character is so cute.... this will show you that age is just a number
the way he thinks about life is very simple...
but you will never know that this trait comes from a painful past....

ML is a young confident handsome man
He got it ALL....
who don't expect to fell head over heels in love with a average look middle age MC

for Supporting character
Rancui and heier is my favorite

I will recommend this

JUST READ IT....
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Mumuuu
Mumuuu rated it
June 25, 2020
Status: c50
I like it enough for now. Love how it shows so clear about ML being scum but also didn't have him do anything unacceptable to MC so far. Plot is quite slow. Translation is good too, not that I can tell anything about grammar or whatever, but it's definitely better than some.

Rancui was so cute. Hope he have many scenes.

Somebody spoiled me pls.

Spoiler

What with tha MC first love? Is he plain scum? Is there some sort of drama? When will they meet?

[collapse]
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Cerenium
Cerenium rated it
July 2, 2019
Status: c19
The smut is a bit heavy in the kink area, but that's a matter of taste.

The story telling reads smoothly and the characters feel real, like there's the posibility of something more going on.

The plot's just starting up at this point, so it's hard to say how it'll unfold in the end.
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Shishi343
September 26, 2023
Status: Completed
Omg this novel is soo good. The ML is cunning and the MC is soo naive I won't say naive but he has sort of given up on the world. MC has low self-esteem but our ML helps lifting it up. The revenge he took for MC was so satisfying. A huge thanks to the translator as he has done a great job in translating the novel.
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Spoilerlove
Spoilerlove
June 8, 2023
Status: Completed
This is was worth it...

Their relationship is purely FWB (Atleast that was what ML had intended and the MC wanted...) I saw a comment mentioning NTR, I dont think what ML did was NTR, cause he never confirmed his relationship with his so called white moonlight (esp when his actions were not particularly done behind the other party's back)

... more>>
Spoiler

But I am with the manager if I were to have opinion on ML's behavior, one really shouldn't find fun in playing others hearts lightly like that..

[collapse]

I was laughing so hard because of MC's craze for penigornises (.... ahem!) and never failingly he kept at it, to the end.

I especially liked the MC's character, his way dealing things, quite efficient I should say....

It was enough to have dealt quite the blow at the young and arrogant General.....

The ending felt a little rushed.... lots of couples foreshadowed but left unanswered

Oh the face-slap in the end..... and then came in the snacks... <<less
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Freaxie
Freaxie
May 30, 2023
Status: Completed
So this is the first time I am leaving a review because this novel has such a special place in my heart. It starts as a funny nude sending smutty story but turns into a political one but the romance is top tier.

Wu Xingzhi, this old man is now one of my favourite main characters even comparing to Xie Lian. I just love him. And I also love how doting Guan Shanjin is. Me when Godddd!!!

At some time o felt like there was too much smut but it's fine.... more>> It's supposed to me smutty after all. And in the end I was sad cause there was no s*x 😞. But I loved everything. This was actually my second time reading it.

9/10. <<less
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Inkscreamedmo
Inkscreamedmo rated it
February 27, 2023
Status: c73
I accidentally cl**ked on 2-stars. Even one-star is generous enough considering how headache inducing the novel gets at one point. Even the one-star I can spare for the novel is solely for the phenomenal smut and the delightfully indifferent reaction our lead protagonist has in store for most people.

Putting these two positives aside, I find it hard to think of anything special about this novel. There's a dire dearth of likable characters, and an unnecessary excess of easily avoidable misunderstandings.

The characters (particularly the ML) often do inexplicably s*upid things, as... more>> if craving for trouble and drama. At some point it just became infuriating to read, my eyes almost rolled to the back of my head. <<less
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Kana Ranka
Kana Ranka
February 14, 2023
Status: Completed
Two adults with different characteristics, status and age are brought together by a special matchmaker. They then have s*x and there is an adult-style conflict.

I quite like the characters there. MC is not completely innocent and ML is not completely s*upid in love.

Rating 21+++ because of detail of s*x.
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puregarnet
puregarnet rated it
August 21, 2022
Status: Completed
4 Stars

Overall Comments

I really love the MC and how he gets his happy ending after such a sad and lonely existence. I do wish there had been more angst from him and soothing from the ML though haha Eg, I wanted more like chapter 37 where his d*ck drawings got torn up by the ML and made him really cry. And then the ML felt guilty. This was my favourite chapter. After this happened, you could feel the relationship getting closer because it's like the MC dropped his guard a... more>> bit and the ML realised his feelings more. I didn't care for the smut much because it didn't really affect the romance and it had a lot of top and bottom dynamics which isn't my favourite. At least the MC genuinely likes it so I didn't mind it. Overall, a nice romance danmei I don't regret reading about.

Writing/Translation

The translation at 1stkissnovel. Love is pretty good. This is an aggregate website since the link to the translation isn't working. Chapter 6 is bad because the group is promoting their subscription service, so you need to pay to get the polished version. But the rest of the chapters are the polished ones, so don't worry about that. The writing is a little bit more descriptive in the setting than I'm used to in CN novels which are notoriously bare lol.

Plot

It's slice of life smut for about 2/3 of the story before it gets more plotty at the capital. There is a good climax to the story at the end where all the villains are dealt with.

Themes/What Story Tried to Achieve

Smut and romance haha. This is basically the basis of the story and it definitely delivers that. The smut is pretty explicit and I admittedly skimmed 95% of it because the majority of the smut doesn't contribute to the advancement of the romance, it's just pure smut lol and I am here for the story and the romancing of this lonely MC. I was unimpressed with the last part of the story about the plotty bits haha. The story doesn't show all the plotting that happened behind the scenes, it's all just told more or less or only shown the actions taken, like telling it to a third party. I didn't really feel involved in it because I don't really feel the urgency or the planning or the plotting. None of the actions were really explained and if so, it was all very simplistic. The evidence to take down the villains was just getting the letters handwritten by the villain to the country's enemies, making them caught red-handed this way.

Pacing

The first 2/3 of the story we follow the MC get happier with s*x and romance in a pretty steady way. Then, the last part in the plotty bits, I found a bit slow because I didn't know what the goal of the ML was. I mean, for the majority of the story, I know the goal is to take down the guy in the capital and that they were all doing actions to do so (a lot of which affected the MC in some way for the romance part) but I didn't get how this is going to take down the bad guy. So it was a little boring where nothing was happening in the romance department except going on dates that didn't really advance the romance but kept the status quo. After an indeterminate amount of time, then only the romance advanced right after which the climax happened.

Characters

All the characters here are likeable, even the side characters. I love the fact that the MC is a middle-aged man who isn't conventionally handsome and that he is so cute haha. I love his backstory and his temperament. He was so lonely he planned to commit su*cide, found a source of happiness and happily went after it (d*ck drawings lololol). The ML I didn't like at first, but eventually I found him an okay ML because he loved the MC eventually and became a doting idiot lol. All the side characters were interesting and even hinted at having their own romance. The villains were nicely annoying to the main couple and richly got their comeuppance, although I wish the big bad had more rage shown instead of ah, I cannot escape, so whatever.

My Created Lists (I include my rating and review in the list itself XD)

  • All Novels I've Read Sorted By Rating - Where I ranked every single novel I read on novelupdates.
  • Heartwarming or Feel Good or Wholesome Stories I Liked - As stated haha
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alice_animelover
alice_animelover rated it
July 28, 2022
Status: c1
Came for the pronz, stayed for the plot drama.

Yall need to stop hating. The ML was not as bad as so many of you made him to be.

Please, why is this story so underrated? 2HA was great, plot wise, but the smut will never compare to this novel!

... more>> In short, I 100% recommend this novel! Read it!

MC is precious!! Although he is a doormat character, he's still precious!! Dude can literally just stand there and breath and still somehow manage to offend someone. He must be loved and protected!!!

Both MC and ML are really well built characters because although later on they had small character development going on, both of them are still very linear with their personality. In contrast, I'd say the ML probably has way more growth than the MC.

The plot is nothing too heavy like some of the other BL novel, but it keeps the story going and helps bring the two characters closer together.

Anyway, read for the smut! Stay for the story if you want. Lol <<less
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Huoxia
Huoxia rated it
February 25, 2022
Status: c107
I think this is one of the funniest books I have read in a while! At first I expected to drop it quickly, because the beginning was a little slow and depressing, and then it jumped suddenly into a very detailed weird s*x scene... But by chapter 25-26, I realised that it's actually a pretty smart comedy, with a lot of humour hidden between the lines and two refreshingly original main characters. They're both written in a slightly exaggerated and hilarious way - twisting what should be a lot of... more>> clichéd scenes into wacky outcomes with their unique personalities;) - but I found a lot of food for thought in their stories too. I have to admit I skipped most of the smut. I don't hold it against this book though, cause smut is usually a hit or miss for me. There are certainly flaws I could nitpick at, but the book left me in such good mood I don't care to;) Anyway, give it a chance! Hopefully, by chapter 26 you'll find this setup as hilarious as I did. <<less
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Peerless White Chrysanthemum
Peerless White Chrysanthemum rated it
November 16, 2021
Status: Completed
The story is simple, refreshing and it didn't hold too many mysteries, it was laid out yet I still didn't guessed correctly. Very comedic haahahaa.. Yet if it comes to heartaches it will also stick to it unwavering..... hahaha.. ai. For people who want a lightread yet a bit complicated.

The story ended, I wanted more but I already know what will happen in the end.

The Characters insight change..😭, the tags did not lie... so sweet my toothaches. Wu, Guang you both deserve happiness!
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mince
mince rated it
October 11, 2021
Status: Completed
If you can get past the pengornis and ass juice it’s a fun read.

Like the MC is very sweet but also very stubborn in his own way. He knows who he is and what he’s about and it’s p refreshing.
Spoiler

Even if what he’s about is ye old d*ck pics lol

[collapse]

The ML is funny in the fact that his usual tactics are completely ineffectual against the MC. MC is just unintentionally going “now I’ve thrown him off his rhythm” without even realizing it and it’s hilarious.

Sure, the story is a little dumb at times, this isn’t exactly a literary masterpiece, but it does what it wants to do and does it effectively, weird smut aside.

What can I say besides the fact that I enjoyed it.
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tiredtiredtired
tiredtiredtired
August 30, 2021
Status: Completed
It made me laugh, it made me cry, and it doesn't have a multi-faceted complex plot but who said a good story needed one? Read it, you won't regret it.
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elqiao
elqiao rated it
July 15, 2021
Status: Completed
The setup is unique and fun, the tone usually stays light even as the novel delves into some more serious topics, and the MC has a refreshing perspective on life.

I picked this up because I was a little tired of reading all this danmei where they end with I ~guess we'll kiss, and it certainly is not PG. There's lots of explicit s*x and fortunately both characters are pretty into it (not always the case with danmei - tbf the first scene is maybe a little dubcon) It IS a... more>> very specific kind of ~dominating gong ravishing the shou until they can't stand etc s*x though, and for the sake of the overall story, at least half of the scenes could've been cut for sure (but full respect to the author saying she wanted to write smut so EVEN IF the characters are physically separated at that point in the story, she was gonna write an explicit wet dream lol).

Also potentially squicky: the s*x fairly frequently ends up in watersports/piss (not every time, but) <<less
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heartlessbambi
heartlessbambi rated it
July 9, 2021
Status: Completed
This book is average.

ML- Handsome, young, rich general, who is a playboy, jerk! (Playing jerk had a fair reason, so don't hate him much) He was caring and all, treated MC in an arguably good way.

MC- An average man with mediocre skills, nothing special except for the fact that he was very s**tty, like all the time. It was like the only word in his head was pen**.
But his attitude towards people and day today occurrences was matured. That was kinda commendable.

Don't hope for an exciting plot even though this novel has more than 100 chapters. There was no intense climax. The General's role was well built up, but it was a pity, as a general he didn't appear much, it was only at the end, he caught some criminals, and that was it.
There are explicit smut, but that also was repetitive, it was like reading the same paragraph over and over again, waste of pages.

I was craving for food, the whole time I was reading this. MC has a big mouth. You'll know when you read this. (I mean eating real food, okay)

Spoiler

If there was something I really enjoyed, that would be the scenes, where the ML's mother appeared. Those moments were kind of funny, hilarious.

[collapse]

I binge read this, I guess I was hoping for a change of attitude from both ML and MC, and that was granted. Hence I think this book is okay. So give it shot.
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